the little paths we find ourselves upon

By: Aviantei

[Twelve Shots of Summer: DECK 1/12]

[Parameters: "0-Fool" & "I-Magician"]

January

These days reflecting
all we were dedicated to
have come to an end

"Well, Rairi? What are you going to do?"

Kaigaku asked, but I couldn't answer. I was too stunned, too caught off guard to be able to produce words. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to close my eyes and ignore it all, but I couldn't, because doing that wouldn't change anything whatsoever, but it was all that my brain could come up with in that moment that was taking everything that was already cracked and shattering it into an infinitesimal number of pieces I wouldn't ever be able to pull back together.

Zenitsu was there, lying on the ground, and he was in a puddle of blood so dark that it looks more black than red, and the color was seeping across the half-tatami mat, half-shoji door floor. His chest was still moving, but the motion was so, so slow, his breaths rasping as he tried to keep going even as Kaigaku's sword was pierced into his chest, right through the heart.

"He's going to die if you just stand there," Kaigaku continued, grinning with his pointed teeth on full display, as if he wouldn't like anything better than that. He did say that was what he'd do: make me watch as he killed Zenitsu. "You have a choice, Rairi, so go ahead and pick." Kaigaku pulled one hand away from the hilt of his sword, dipping inside the kimono he was still wearing over his Demon Slayer uniform. When he brought it back out, there was a tiny vial that I recognized between his fingers. "How about it? You become a demon, and I'll try to transform this little piece of scum. I doubt someone like him can survive, but what other chance do you have?"

I didn't have any other chance. The place where Kaigaku had penetrated Zenitsu's heart was just one of many stab wounds, each of them sparking with Kaigaku's dark Blood Demon Art. Zenitsu was going to die—and it was a goddamn miracle that he was still alive, anyways—unless I did something, and that something just happened to be throwing away my humanity to become a demon.

"You still have it, don't you? The blood I gave you?" I didn't, because I handed it over to Tanjirō to pass on to Tamayo, except I did, because it was still in my pocket whenever I felt around in there. It was such a small thing, the glass flawless and smooth, but Kibutsuji's blood inside could change everything. Kaigaku looked as smug as ever whenever I brought it out. "You're running out of time, Rairi. Drink it or the scum dies."

Zenitsu let out a burbling sound, a bubble of his blood popping over his lips instead of words, but I still understood what he was trying to say: Don't do it, Senpai. I'm not worth it. I'm sorry, I told you I'd handle this, but I couldn't.

When I inhaled, it was shaky, and a sob broke through my mouth. I'd been crying for ages, everything that I'd been trying to hold back starting to burst out because I couldn't take it anymore, I can't, not after—

Jaiden in nothing in blood, Sensei dead, Shimizu gone, Kaigaku a demon, and Zenitsu—

"Okay," I said, and Zenitsu tried to protest, but I was already uncorking the vial, staring Kaigaku right in his kanji-distorted eyes. Somehow, I still found it in me to sound angry, whenever all I was was desperate, because I couldn't stand to lose Zenitsu, too, I just couldn't. "I don't give a shit if you're an Upper Moon now, Kaigaku. You better keep your word, or I'll make you regret it."

I downed the vial of blood in one swallow, the substance burning my throat and mouth on the way down. My gag reflex reacted, trying to heave it back up, but I couldn't let that happen, so I slapped my hands over my mouth as I sank to the ground, to the sound of Zenitsu's sobs and Kaigaku's harsh and mirthless laughter.

And then my eyes were flying open in the dark and bile was pulsing up my throat. I heaved into a sitting position, trying to keep it down while taking shaky and notenough breaths through my nose. When a few moments made it clear that I wasn't going to be able to keep it down, I went to push myself out of the bed with the bathroom as my goal.

Except I didn't have a right foot to put down anymore, and I collapsed right down onto the ground, crashing into the bed next to me with my shoulder and a far too loud sound in the quiet room. Stomach acid crawled up my throat, but I managed to force it back down as several other shouts echoed. The battle against Kibutsuji may have been done, demons gone, but that knowledge wasn't enough to erase the fact that we were all trained warriors who had to respond to any sign of danger, and a crash in the night was plenty of reason enough for all of us to react, setting off a chain of panic. There were other frightened shouts, which made more people wake up in the night, and I even recognized the sound of a few katanas slipping out from their sheaths in retaliation as everyone assessed the situation. I would have done the same thing, if my own blade weren't already shattered, if I hadn't already sent Kaigaku's to Hanai-san for maintenance, and I felt so defenseless, even if I knew there wasn't any threat other than my own stupidity.

The door to our infirmary opened, a candlelight flaring in the dark. A few other Slayers with enough sense of mind had also lit up candles, the flames creating a less dangerous atmosphere in comparison to the trickle of moonlight through the windows. "It's okay, everyone," Naho's sweet voice said as she moved into the room. "Is someone hurt?"

"I think Rairi-san fell over," said Kitamura, who was in the bed next to mine. We'd chatted plenty over the past week, but she was in a similar state to me: down an arm, unable to help me back up, though I was sure she'd want to assist. Naho's feet pattered against the floor as she headed our way, and there was plenty of murmuring as people helped each other calm back down after the sudden awakening. "Are you okay, Rairi-san? You didn't hit your head, did you?"

I tried to give Kitamura some reassurance, but even thinking about speaking was enough to make it clear that I wouldn't be able to do so without blowing chunks, so I hunched over on myself in some hope that it would keep me from adding a mess to the floor. Naho and the others were overwhelmed enough by everything else they had to take care of for us; I didn't want to add to that more than I already had. If nothing else, she took one look at me and could understand my issue, and Naho rummaged in a nearby cabinet, and soon there was a pan set before me and Naho was pulling back my braid and rubbing my back.

"Go ahead, Rairi-san," she said, as if she wasn't tired of taking care of all of us.

I was far too exhausted to even think about arguing as I hunched over and hurled.

In the sunlight, things seemed far less stressful, but I hadn't had much luck with falling back asleep. That was the norm after nightmares, and even more so after all the many months of not having to deal with them. But I'd run out of pills not too long after the final battle, and asking for more in the middle of all the other work that the Butterfly Manor team had to deal with seemed unnecessary. I'd lived with my nightmares before, and I'd go ahead and do it again.

The downside was that sleep was a thing I kept losing out on, which wasn't the best for the leg that needed to heal (and I'd landed on it in the night, which didn't help, either), but, hey, triage and all that. Not to mention, Kochō-san had been the one that had made the medicine in the first place, and she—

Well.

It was one of those things that you forgot if you weren't thinking about it. It wasn't that it hadn't made an impact. Even with the small number of interactions I'd had with her, Kochō had helped me recover after Mugen Train, had given me medicine for my bad dreams, had been present at the Hashira dinner I'd attended, and had been on my side when I'd revealed my knowledge about Canon. We'd been acquaintances enough that I still noticed her absence, but—

Kochō wasn't anywhere near to the only loss. There was so much trauma that had happened during the battle at Infinity Castle and afterwards that it was almost as jarring as when I'd been dumped out of my original world and into this one. Life before the final battle with Kibutsuji and life after were two distinct things, but there had been no time to adjust to it, just getting dumped right in, and the effect was even worse since all the changes had happened in one night.

So, yeah, any of the many, many, many losses were difficult to remember in the moment, even when it was clear. And because Kochō was gone, I didn't want to get my hopes up and then watch them get crushed. If I was going to have to deal with nightmares for the rest of my life (which, given my track record, seemed probable), I'd rather get used to it now.

In an attempt to subdue the tiredness prickling at my eyes, I'd gotten help out to the courtyard after breakfast and sat on the edge of the porch out in the sunlight. That was another odd thing to process; so much of the past couple of years had been spent in the night to fight demons, and that wouldn't be necessary anymore. I could have something like a normal sleep schedule again—well, assuming I could sleep without getting woken up by my own traitorous subconscious, that was.

Holding in a groan, I flopped back onto the porch, closing my eyes and listening to the sounds of everyone around me. I wasn't the only one who had chosen to go out and about, and plenty of the other recovering Slayers and Kakushi were in and around the courtyard, chatting amongst themselves or just enjoying somewhere aside from the infirmary rooms they'd been kept in for the past few weeks. Butterfly Manor was pretty crowded now, and the sad part was that so many other places—Headquarters, other Hashira residences, and Wisteria Houses—were chock full of those injured, too.

No wonder anime just flash forward after the final battle. Showing off all of this stuff is a super awful mess. But even though I was in an anime/manga, I still had to live through every day up to Tanjirō waking up in a couple of months and beyond. Which also meant I had to live through my complete recovery, too, which was looking to be a timely process, but, hey, better than being dead, yeah?

You might have already guessed, but I was an absolute riot at parties—I said, as if I'd ever gone to parties. Well, come to think of it, there had been that dinner with the Hashira, where I'd dragged Kaigaku—

Kaigaku.

Out of all the losses, I think that one hurt the most. Or, well, it was a contender for the top ranking once you counted in Sensei and Shimizu and Mitsuri and—god, we had lost so many people. But, for the moment, Kaigaku's death was the one burning a hole into my chest the hardest, the ache enough to make tears spring to my eyes all over again. I knew it was stupid to blame myself for not being able to save him, considering that I'd known nothing about Canon, but I still felt bad. How many other series had I blasted my way through; if I'd just gone ahead and started reading the damn thing, then I could have—

"Rairi, remember to breathe."

I opened my eyes, my vision fuzzy from the tears that had welled up. Even so, it was easy to recognize the bright yellow of Zenitsu's hair as he stood above me. While I had lost a leg and was in no shape to transport myself around, Zenitsu's repeated use of his Shinsoku and Honoikazuchi no Kami had put considerable strain on his legs. Thus, he could still walk around, but he had to use crutches to do so, and he wobbled as he tried to lower himself down to the porch beside me.

I tried to sit up to help him, but he shook his head, sucking in a Total Concentration breath, and he made it down to the ground okay. His crutches stowed beside him, he scooted forward, and I remembered the instruction to breathe, focusing on that to ground me back in the present. Zenitsu reached out, hesitating for just a moment before petting his fingers over my hair, and I relaxed into the touch.

"Sorry," Zenitsu said after a few moments, "that I didn't get here sooner." His voice was gentle, and I reached up, and he used his free hand to take mine. "I heard you wake up from your nightmare last night, but I was too weak to come and get you."

"You need to rest, too," I said, though I was touched by the fact that he was willing to come and help me at all. "If you got up every time I had a nightmare, you'd never get any sleep."

I tried to give a smile, to show that it was a joke, but Zenitsu's expression was still worried. "That's why I wanted to have a bed next to yours. So I can be there." I squeezed his hand tight, wanting to be reassuring but also not wanting to brush my problems away just to make him feel better. I'd already gotten scolded for that once, and I wasn't all that keen to repeat the experience. "I know it'd be difficult now, but I'd still like it."

I let out a weak chuckle. "Like I said, we'll have plenty of time for that later." Zenitsu's lips twitched closer to a smile, and I got caught up in the thought before I could stop myself. "Can I rest my head in your lap?"

Zenitsu froze, both of us blushing in the aftermath. Considering that it had been nothing more than a couple of weeks since the final battle, we hadn't been an item for all that long, and I—who had just dated in the middle school sense of the word and had thus compensated by reading inordinate amounts of shipping fanfiction before I transmigrated and no longer had access to said fanfiction—had no real concept of when it was appropriate to do what in a relationship. Zenitsu, I suspected, was much in the same boat, judging by how red his face had become. But he still shuffled closer again, and, when I lifted myself up enough to give him room, he had put his knees in prime position for me to have a lap pillow, which I took before either of us backed out. He resumed patting my hair, and I let my eyes flutter shut again to enjoy his warmth and comfort.

"I dreamt about Kaigaku," I whispered, knowing the quiet volume would be plenty enough for him to hear, even if no one else outside could. "He was a demon, and you were dying. He said he'd save you if I became a demon, too, and I…" I didn't even finish the sentence, yet Zenitsu hummed in understanding; he knew just what I'd do for him. "I still miss him."

The admission felt unfair, felt like something I shouldn't say, though I knew Zenitsu understood. There had to be people here recovering who had known the Slayers that Kaigaku had killed after his transformation, and they wouldn't be sorry that he was gone. Sure, none of them knew that I came from another world where it was possible for me to have knowledge of the future, but admitting missing an Upper Moon—whether he'd once been my kōhai or not—seemed like something I shouldn't do.

Zenitsu, on the other hand, had already shown that he understood. "Of course you do," he said, his tone more than understanding and caring. "I miss him, too." And there it was, that reminder that neither of us were in this alone, that we were a team. "I know it doesn't fix what happened with Aniki, but I'm here, Rairi. I'm okay, for what it's worth."

"Don't talk about yourself like that." I clutched onto the pantleg of his infirmary pajamas. "You're worth so much to me, Zenitsu. I'm so glad you're here. Don't act like that's not worth anything."

"Sorry." I sniffed, trying and failing to not get snot all over his clothes. Considering that he'd done the same to me plenty of times before, maybe it was a fair enough trade. "I'm glad you're here, too, Rairi. And I'm glad I'm with you. So even if I can't get there right away, know that I'll make it to your side eventually." I nodded, not trusting my voice enough to speak. "Do you want to talk it over more, or do you want a distraction?"

"I've been doing nothing but think about it all morning. I think a distraction would do me some good." I knew myself well enough that if I let myself soak in the feelings, I would stay there forever—I'd done the same after Jaden had died. And while I would come back to it soon, let myself feel and process, I knew I didn't want to spend the entire day lying around on the porch. "As comfy as your lap is, I can't stay here forever."

His cheeks went red all over again, and I savored the sight: Adorable. "I'd let you stay there forever. If you wanted," Zenitsu whispered, and I could feel myself getting flustered all over again. "But if you want something else to do today, Rairi, I have an idea."

"Here, adjust this finger. You want to be on the second string, not the first."

"Like this, then? Agh, that feels awkward."

"It gets easier the more you do it. Trust me."

"I believe it." Any form of new skill ultimately meant a growing mastery—so long as you put in the effort to do it. I gave Zenitsu a smile. "Just like sword training, yeah?"

Zenitsu's own face lit up, and I wondered if he treasured that memory as close as the others he had chosen to remember. "Yeah, just like sword training." Except this time, he was the one encouraging me as opposed to the other way around. If this kept up much longer, our existing dynamic would be completely out of whack—but I supposed that was a good thing, too, considering that we weren't the senpai and kōhai we had once been. We were equals now. Partners.

In the interest of stopping myself from becoming too flustered for my own good, I double checked my fingers on the shamisen strings, trying to remember which note the positions corresponded to. While Zenitsu had taught me the basics back when I was bedridden after Mugen Train, the over half a year in between had erased most of the information from my memory. I remembered the fingering for a few of the notes, sure, but that was mostly thanks to my body than any conscious effort. The rest had slipped away in the midst of training and my mentorship program and missions and—

Not thinking about it.

Zenitsu had been right in that this would be a good distraction for me, since trying to absorb all the new information took up enough of my bandwidth to keep my mind away from the darkness. I didn't have much experience with playing an instrument, and, though swordplay involved a decent amount of precision, that was more in the larger movements of the body, arms, and wrist. Of course, getting a proper grip on your sword was important, too, but once you got the gist of placing your hands on the right place of the hilt, there wasn't all that much finger movement after that. Playing the koto and getting the various fingerings right was a much more precise task, and I was more than willing to commit myself to the challenge if it helped my overall mental health. It wasn't like the Taishō Era was a poppin' place for therapy, anyways.

"Go ahead and strum," Zenitsu said. "That way you can get an idea of what the note's supposed to sound like."

I grasped the pick in my hand (very weathered from the disuse of being tucked away in Butterfly Manor's backrooms) and pulled it over the strings, bringing out a note that sounded overall okay. At the very least, while we were just working with the fundamentals, strumming was the easy part, though I knew it could get much more complicated thanks to Zenitsu's dexterous displays with the instrument.

Zenitsu nodded, looking pleased. "Good work! If you can remember that sound, you'll be in good shape."

"Not everyone has as good of a sense of hearing as you do," I said, more teasing than anything. He took it as a pure compliment, his smile turning a bit giddy at the praise. "But, I think I kinda get a sense of it. Even if I don't have perfect pitch, that doesn't mean I can't tell if the note's in the right range of the one I meant to play, yeah?"

"Yeah! I was hoping to teach you notes that are close together so you can start to build up a scale. Um, but first, let's get you used to switching between the two notes that you've already learned. Can you switch the fingering and strum once, then switch back?"

The instruction was much gentler than anything I'd learned from Sensei, but since learning to play the shamisen wasn't anywhere near a matter of life and death, that was okay. I followed instructions, taking careful time to go ahead and toggle my fingers between the notes, though I flubbed it up more than once. Still, that was what practice was for and, after several minutes of the same two notes ringing out through the air, I got into a certain rhythm, and I could complete the transition with ease. Whether I'd be as smooth with that tomorrow, I didn't know, but it was still progress, and that's what mattered.

If nothing else, watching Zenitsu's excitement made my heart warm up even more. "Good work! You're catching on fast, Rairi!"

"That's because I have a good teacher. Maybe I should be the one calling you 'Senpai' now." Zenitsu ducked his head, but it wasn't anywhere near enough to hide the tips of his ears going red. I hummed a bit, still moving my fingers between the strings without strumming to produce any sound. "It's kinda funny. I remember when Jaden was trying to teach themself how to play guitar. They would always end up with their fingers stinging, but I don't feel all that much at all."

"Yeah, sword callouses tend to get in the way of that. Lucky us." I quirked a smile, and Zenitsu took a moment before asking, "Can you tell me more about them? I mean, I get why you didn't talk much before, but…"

Considering that I hadn't wanted to go ahead and just outright advertise my status of being from another dimension (a smart choice, considering the eventual interest that Kibutsuji Muzan had taken in me for that very reason), it was difficult to talk about Jaden at all. While I'd entrusted Zenitsu with the fact that they'd died, I'd omitted a lot of the details in the process—and any other story would have just increased the chance of letting something slip that I shouldn't have. And though it had been a few months since I'd told Zenitsu the truth, the circumstances hadn't leant themselves well to reminiscing about the past.

Now, though. Now we were heading into the future, and the battle against demons was done. There was time, and there was no need for secrets anymore.

I lowered the shamisen into my lap, being sure to be gentle. My fingers caressed the strings, but without producing any sound. "Jaden was…the best," I said, because that summed it up. "Dad and Mom weren't too busy for us, but if they needed to go off and do something, Jaden never complained about watching over me. They got me into manga and anime, too—ah, um, if you draw a lot of pictures showing small movements, they move when you flip through them? And they adapt a lot of stories and stuff into it, so you can watch them, like this world." Zenitsu nodded his understanding, and I shook off the strange sensation of having to explain a Japanese word to a Japanese person—though didn't anime derive from animation, which was an English word anyways? "I mean, I got into it more than Jaden did, but they still got me started. And they liked a lot of music, too, so I'd watch them practice and make requests for things they could play." I must've been a menace, but they'd never pushed me away or told me to back off, and I could still remember lying on their bed, legs kicking up in the air behind me as I listened. "They were a constant source of love. I even started to think I might be nonbinary because they were agender, and they helped me think about gender different—though I had to figure out a lot of the rest on my own afterwards."

Considering that I'd had far more time to process Jaden's death than the recent ones, the reminder didn't sting as much—but the shamisen in my lap still made it difficult for me to curl up into a ball and hug my knees. Zenitsu reached out, setting the instrument aside, and then he took its place, pulling me into his embrace. I very much appreciated the comfort, and Zenitsu felt just as warm and safe as ever as I nuzzled into his shoulder.

"They sound like they were amazing," Zenitsu said, and that just about summed it up.

The shamisen was left aside for the rest of the afternoon, but telling stories of Jaden with Zenitsu listening all the way was more than distraction enough.

To no one's surprise whatsoever, Zenitsu got approval to start up rehabilitation long before I did. Aoi was checking on me most of the time, and she said I was on track—but, yeah, losing out on half a leg took longer to recover from than most other injuries. Zenitsu tried giving me the puppy dog eyes so he could stay with me, and he was adorable, but I had to put my (one remaining) foot down.

"I'd feel a whole lot better knowing that you were doing your best to get back into full condition, sweetie," I said, and that plus a kiss on the top of the head was enough to send him back with enthusiasm. That, however, left me with one very notable problem:

I was left alone with myself.

I hadn't had a nightmare the night before, but it still wasn't a good day—like, the kind of day where you went ahead and did nothing but lie around in bed, staring at the ceiling. I'd tried reading a book to pass the time—Butterfly Manor had plenty lying around, and they weren't even all super complex medical textbooks, either! But my brain was mush, and it didn't want to think about anything whatsoever, not even the good things. Maybe I should have asked Zenitsu to leave me with the shamisen, but, even if he had, I wouldn't have expected myself to have any progress whatsoever.

So I forced myself to do the best thing I could in an era with no real concept of mental health: I journaled. When I'd mentioned the idea, Zenitsu had procured a notebook and brush set for me, so I had the materials to work with. I'd filled several pages before, trying to handle my way through my dreams and living nightmares alike, and the English letters (no sense in hiding my bilingual status now that people knew, plus the extra privacy on my ramblings was nice) filled up several pages.

That day, though, I could just muster up a few sentences before my brain just went…empty. Like, not even talking about how my brain was empty was getting me anywhere. So: staring at the ceiling it was! At least I was zoning out enough that maybe I could try to take a nap until lunch or until Zenitsu came back, whichever one was first…?

Except then something cold brushed up my arm, and I one-hundred percent failed to contain my yelp as I threw myself up in search of what was going on. The handful of other people who were also not ready for rehab yet all gave me concerned looks, but I was too distracted. It took me a while before I could pick it out against the white of the sheets, but there was a flash of red that put everything together: an eye, and one of the snake variety at that.

"Wait a sec, you're…"

It was Iguro's snake, now that I thought about it. Iguro, who hadn't made it, though he and Mitsuri had died together, for what it was worth. I was numb enough that day that not even the surge of sadness was enough to break through my apathy, but I still had it in me to be curious as to what Iguro's pet snake was doing crawling into my bed of all things. Sure, the turn of the new year meant that it was cold, but there had to have been a closer option to warm up with than me.

"My apologies, Rairi-san. I meant to warn you."

I may have recognized the voice, but its owner was just as unexpected as my new case of Snake in My Bed. Ubuyashiki Kiriya had entered, and anyone that had been thrown off by my earlier outburst was very much distracted by Oyakata-sama's child and our leader through the final battle having shown up. They were dressed in the simpler outfit I'd seen them in at Headquarters a few times rather than their more intricate kimono, and they had a serene smile on their makeup-free face that was every bit like their father's, though the wisteria eyes were all their mother.

…A mother and father who were no longer around.

I kept the frown from ruining my smile, because I was happy to see them again. "Kiriya…" I cut myself off, not sure how to finish that referral. I'd been using '-sama' as a placeholder, but I'd also promised them that I'd help them be a normal kid after all the Corps mess was over. Putting them up on a pedestal was not the way to do that, but the usual honorifics for kiddos were, well, of the gendered variety, so I wasn't about to do that.

But Kiriya just smiled at me, realizing my intentions. "Though I feel closer to understanding this part of myself, I haven't made any final decisions yet," they said, which was more than fair enough. "However, I wouldn't be offended if you dropped any honorifics whatsoever, Rairi-san." Oh, yeah, that was super an option. Sheesh, which one of us was supposed to be the American here? "That said, I do have a little bit of business to tend to first…"

"Business of the snake variety?" I asked, glancing back down to the bed. Iguro's snake had curled around my arm at this point, but, seeing as it wasn't trying to constrict the ever-loving shit out of me, I let them be. "Just letting you know that most kids your age start out with something like a cat or a dog."

"Ah, yes, perhaps we should give that a try. I'm sure Kuina and Kanata would be delighted by that." Kiriya smiled, but I could tell it was strained. Still, asking them to air out all their feelings in front of a group of Slayers wasn't all that polite, so I'd have to offer my services as a sounding board later. "But, yes, I'm here concerning Kaburamaru."

Right, that was the snake's name. His head now up to my shoulder, Kaburamaru flicked his tongue out, as if in acknowledgement of Kiriya's words. I was at a goddamn loss of what Iguro's pet could have to do with me of all people, but when I saw Kiriya pulling out a folded sheaf of paper from their kimono, I figured it out.

"Iguro-san wanted me to take care of them, didn't he?" I asked, my voice coming out far quieter than I'd intended. Kiriya nodded, handing me the paper, and I just stared, because, hello, what? How many goddamn wills had I been given these past few months? How the hell had Iguro named me in part of his?

My first encounter hadn't been the best impression on my part, seeing as that had been when I'd given my long list of Corps structure complaints—and in front of the leader to boot! Iguro hadn't found me impressive whatsoever, and I was still convinced that the one reason he hadn't killed me was because Mitsuri liked me. The closest thing we'd had to a civil encounter was during Hashira Training, and even then I'd…bitched to Iguro about his methods and even threatened to tattle on him to Mitsuri. Not the most glowing reviews were earned those days.

Oh, I get it. This is revenge for being a sassy little shit. Except that explanation didn't feel right at all, either.

What the hell were you thinking Iguro?

"The paper I've passed you has both a message for you, along with care instructions," Kiriya said, and I glanced back to it. Yeah, it was a bit thicker than I imagined, and I hoped that most of the bulk was dedicated to said snake shenanigans. I didn't think I could handle any more last messages at the moment. "And with that done, I have a few more things to say related to Corps affairs."

Ah, a convenient distraction! We sure did take those whenever they were offered. "I feel like whatever you're about to tell me is something that an adult could have done instead." Like, come on, the kiddo had done enough; there wasn't any need to make someone under the age of ten handle logistical matters like this, and even more so when said kid hadn't even gone a full month since the death of his father, mother, and twin older sisters.

"Yes, well…" For the first time ever, I saw Kiriya's pale skin flush red. "I wanted to have the opportunity to come visit you, Rairi-san, so I volunteered to do the job myself." Oh. My. Goodness. That was so precious that I would allow the use of a kiddo doing work they shouldn't have to, just the once. "But the point is that the Corps will be providing all prior members with monetary support as long as possible. Of course, that applies to both you and Agatsuma-san. Ah, is there where I say congratulations on the engagement?" Wait, people were talking about that enough that Kiriya, who I assumed had been at Headquarters this whole time, had even heard of it? Well, I supposed that Zenitsu (light of my life that he was) didn't waste any opportunity to brag about it, so it wasn't all that surprising when you also accounted for the Kasugai Crow rumor mill…

Not that any of that was the point, mind you.

"Thank you," I said. "I'll be sure to introduce you to Zenitsu whenever we have the opportunity. But about this money thing…" Kiriya didn't elaborate further, leaving me the chance to ask whatever I needed. "I'm sure you might know, but our Sensei—" Ah, that was the wound that was going to hurt today, good to know "—left us with plenty of resources to manage ourselves. I'm sure Zenitsu would agree, but I'd like it if you could at least distribute my share to others who need it more than we do first."

I might have been spoiled before, but several years in this world had given me plenty of time to adjust. I hadn't looked over any of the numbers with Natagoro-san in the aftermath, but we'd be fine without any extra Corps support for a while. Sensei—

…Sensei wouldn't have set us up with anything less.

Kiriya blinked once. "Of course, we do have plans to support as many people as possible, including sending what we can for the families who have lost relatives in the line of duty. But I would like you to remember, Rairi-san, that the Ubuyashiki clan—no, that's not right." Kiriya frowned somewhat, the expression adorable, but I kept that little thought to myself. "I'll do whatever I can to support you, so know that you can count on us if you need it."

"I appreciate it, Kiriya," I said, earning a bright smile. "And of course you can count on me. In fact…" I patted the bed beside me, Kaburamaru adjusting to better position himself on my shoulders. "How about your first lesson? Usually whenever kids your age see someone they're excited to visit, they tend to give hugs, if they're in the mood for them." I didn't have any real idea of what Kiriya's boundaries looked like, but I sure was going to model having some.

And maybe I also wanted a hug. Hush.

I expected Kiriya to maybe mull things over a bit longer, but nope, that kid was pretty speedy for not ever learning a breathing technique. In a few seconds, Kiriya had pulled themself up onto the side of the bed and squeezed their arms around my middle. I returned the gesture, my mood feeling a lot better than before. Hugs, no doubt, were the best.

I was so wrapped up in the onslaught of warm fuzzies that I almost missed whenever Kiriya whispered, "I'm glad you're still alive, Rairi-san."

"Yeah, kiddo," I said, patting Kiriya's head (Kaburamaru also chipped in) and not calling out the warm, wet patch now forming on my shoulder, "me, too."

[Author's Notes]

Hello, and welcome to the walk steady extended epilogue! I originally planned this as just a one shot for the little paths collection, and then I thought it would be interesting to do some snapshots from the year post canon, and it turned into its own collection. It's falling action hours up in here, so let's go for it! Plus, that means twelve parts, which fits right into [Twelve Shots of Summer]!

[Twelve Shots of Summer] is a small community one shot challenge, and somehow we've made it to year ten! The prompts this year are based on the Major Arcana, which is a theme I've been excited to do for a while! My aim is to do all twelve weeks as entries in this collection, so that should be weekly Saturday updates until this is complete! And unlike last year, I've written in advance, so I won't be screaming like I did with A Fire Inside last year!

Once again, PunkTrashNoiz is my incredible beta who is always managing to squeeze my nonsense into their busy schedule! They will also be participating in T-Sauce, with their first one shot this year being for House of the Dragon (which I did the beta for as well)! I recommend checking them out, as well as the Twelve Shots of Summer forum to see what else will be published. And, hey, if you're interested by the prompts, you can join us as well!

And now a tiny bit later than usual, here are my requisite thanks to those who have shown love to the walk steady series as a whole! Thanks to extremlyuglyperson69, Maddy Skellington Liddel, seanpallett333, Liebebe, and celebron438 for the faves and follows! I hope you enjoy this collection as well.

Next Saturday: February. Please look forward to it!

[06.03.2023]