Prologue

Into the Light

The hall was brightly lit; it was so illuminated that Jess could barely see anything in front of her. She felt fuzzy, weird, and confused. She did not understand where she was or how she got there, but she felt warm and peaceful. Jess flipped her head looking back down the strange hallway to observe only darkness and coldness. A voice deep down told her to make a decision: walk towards the light and warmth or turn back around and head towards the darkness and coldness.

Easy decision, Jess thought, taking a step forward. She was drawn to the light, but with each step forward Jess felt the need to look back at the blackness. Jess reached about three quarters of the way down the hall and stopped, hesitant about continuing down the path she was on. Soon she would be half way and she knew once she was, there would be no turning back. Jess glanced back again. What is back there? Jess wondered but continued walking towards the light.

"How is she?" Her brother, Ryan's, voice flowed through the darkness. It was just a whisper, but it stopped Jess mid step. His voice triggered something inside her.

"Come on, Jessie," A nine year old Ryan said to his six year old baby sister. "I'll show Tyler that he can't pick on my sister."

Jess smiled at the memory of Ryan standing up to the neighborhood bully for her.

But Jess still walked towards the light.

"The same," Sherry's voice said.

Again Jess stopped on hearing her step mother's voice. Sherry had practically raised Jess. She lost her mom when she was nine. Sherry had come into their lives soon after and had been there ever since.

"There you're as good as new," Sherry smiled at her eleven year old stepdaughter. Jess shook her head. "My leg still hurts," Jess reasoned. Sherry leaned down and kissed the Band-Aid she had just placed on her daughter's leg. "There I kissed it all better."

Jess could remember that day as clear as if it happened yesterday; she had fallen off her bike and cut up her knee. But her stepmom's kisses did make it all better.

Jess moved forward getting closer to that half way mark.

"Barely hanging on," Don's voice stated.

Jess's grin grew thinking of Don.

"Jess," he called, turning back and heading towards her.

Jess turned. "Yeah," she said as lips collided with hers.

"Thanks," he whispered.

The memory of their kiss flashed across her mind. But she continued walking towards the light.

"She's a stubborn girl," Cliff's voice echoed through the hall.

Jess looked back at where her father's voice had come from.

"Dad," Jess yelled, running into her dad's den. She had big news and couldn't wait to share it with her dad.

Cliff Angell looked up from the hockey game to see his youngest daughter standing in front of him. "The game is almost over, hang on"

Instead Jess grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. "I got big, gigantic, life altering news to share with you."

"Okay, Jessie-bee. Suspense officially built, you have our attention…Spill." Cliff said.

"I made homicide," Jess squealed

Her father had been so proud of her.

Jess shook the feeling off and took another step forward.

"Yes, she is," Abby's voice came through followed by Olivia's laugh. Her best friends since junior high

"Scott sucks," sixteen year old Jess told a very upset Abby.

"He doesn't deserve you," Liv agreed.

Jess remembered the first time either dealt with a broken heart.

Jess took another step into the light.

"Dad! Sherry!" Christopher's voice cut through the shadows.

Jess halted once more as another memory hit her.

"Jessie, I'm having a girl," the twenty-eight year old excitedly told his eighteen year old sister.

Jess recalled that she was the first in the family to know that Julia was a girl which triggered a memory of holding each niece and nephew in her arms - all six of them, four girls and two boys.

Jess's feet reached the halfway line; all she had to do was take one more step and she would surpass it and there would be no turning back. Jess found herself rooted to the spot. She couldn't move. She heard Sherry's voice play in her head. "Sweet dreams, I love you, kid," Sherry said that to Jess every night from the moment she walked into her life.

Even now at twenty eight, Sherry still called her to tell her. If she couldn't reach her it was left on her voicemail.

Jess suddenly turned around away from the light and took a step towards the black.

"I love you, kid," Christopher's voice played in her head.

And Jess made another step into the darkness.

"I love you, kid," Michael's voice played in her head.

Jess made another step and a sharp pain took her in the side. While heading towards the light she never felt any pain, only calmness, but now it hurt so badly; but, Jess kept walking towards the darkness.

"I love you, kid," Andrew's voice played in her head.

Jess held onto her side and made another step towards the darkness. Unexpectedly, everything from her left shoulder down went numb. Jess turned back to glance back at the light wondering if she'd been heading in the right direction to begin with.

"I love you, kid," Ryan's voice played in her head.

Neither ever hung up the phone without saying those four words to her.

And Jess found herself continuing her way into the black hole.

"I love you, baby girl," her father's voice came into her mind.

"Dad, I'm not a baby anymore," was always Jess's answer.

Her father always replied, "You will always be my baby girl."

It was those words that gave her strength to push through the pain and on into the dark.

"Be careful today," Don's voice rang through her mind. "Be safe today, babe."

It was Don's equivalent to 'I love you' as neither was able to vocalize their feelings yet even though they both felt it.

And Jess kept moving towards the dark knowing that if she ever wanted to say or hear it she needed to keep moving. If she ever wanted to hear her stepmother say "sweet dreams" again she needed to walk through the darkness. If she ever wanted to hear her brothers' voices or see her nieces and nephews she needed to move through the dark. If she ever wanted to hear her father calling her his baby girl again she needed to move into the dark. Jess understood that now. So she moved on and on until she felt like she was falling through the darkness.

And Jess's eyes fluttered open.