I decided to give NaNoWriMo a go this year, and churned out almost 55k words of a Shelby/Rachel fic in November. I planned to post it in the New Year once I've finished editing it but I thought I'd give you the first chapter as a Christmas present.
I want to point out that this is completely AU and Shelby and Rachel are not biologically related, I did try to have it come out that Shelby was Rachel's biological mother but I couldn't make it work so they aren't related.
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Shelby Corcoran had been fostering children for over eight years now. She'd lost count of the number of children who had passed through her home since she found out she'd be unable to have any biological children, but she wasn't too bothered about the numbers, she just wanted to give the children in her care a stable, secure home whether they were with her for a week or for a couple of years.
It had been almost three weeks since her last placement, a brother and sister who'd stayed with her temporarily whilst their mother recovered from surgery, and today, her social worker was meeting with her to talk about her next placement. Shelby was surprised at the size of the girl's file, the seven year old had been in and out of group homes and foster homes since she was three years old and, if Shelby had read the papers correctly, had never settled anywhere for longer than nine months.
"She's one of our more challenging cases" the social worker explained, "she can be very stubborn and there are times when she'll just blank you out. Obviously being moved from place to place hasn't helped, we thought we had a match with her last family but she bit the father during a tantrum, she was their first placement and they said she was too much to handle."
"The poor thing" from what Shelby had read, the girl did have behavioral problems, but that was understandable if she'd never had consistency in her life, "well, you know I'll do my best for her."
"I do" the social worker nodded, Shelby had taken in several children that had failed to thrive elsewhere, and she never gave up, relished the challenge, and, although all the children had moved on eventually, Shelby liked to think that by giving them consistency, routine and discipline, she'd made a difference to their lives. "There's no record of abuse but there have been a couple of times where she's either attacked, or tried to escape from male caregivers, so we're hoping that you'll be a good fit for her, we think a home where she's the only child will help too."
Shelby and the social worker talked for a little longer, the social worker talking Shelby through the girl's history and letting her know what extra support she needed, giving her tips on how to 'deal' with the girl, even though Shelby definitely wasn't new to this.
It was a little after lunchtime the next day when the social worker returned, bringing the girl with her, the seven year old smaller than Shelby expected, and, although other foster parents had described her as 'trouble', 'a terror' and other things Shelby didn't want to think about, all Shelby saw was a scared, and understandably angry little girl. "Rachel" the social worker began her introduction, "this is Shelby, Shelby this is Rachel."
"Hi Rachel" Shelby smiled, but she got no response from the girl who stood by the door with her arms crossed over her chest, "would you like me to show you to your room? You could maybe unpack a little whilst Sarah and I talk, and then I'll come up and help you if you want?"
Rachel shrugged, she didn't see the point in unpacking, she knew she wouldn't be staying here for long. She was bad. Sooner or later she'd get into trouble and be sent somewhere else, she knew it. She never meant to be bad, she tried her best to be good but she always messed up, she was stupid and nobody wanted her. She knew she wouldn't be here for long but she wanted to last more than one day so she allowed herself to be led up the stairs anyway, her rucksack on her back, the duffel bag of her things in Shelby's hand.
"Here we go." Shelby pushed open the door to, what was now, Rachel's room, "what do you think?" Rachel said nothing as she looked around the room, it was the largest room she'd ever had, the walls were painted a soft yellow, the furniture white wood, there was a desk in the corner and a comfy looking armchair by the window. Her heart sank when she saw there was only one bed, a room like this was far too nice for her, she had to be sharing with somebody, but it was okay, Rachel reasoned that she could sleep in the chair, or the floor, she didn't like sleeping in beds anyway. Getting no response from the girl, Shelby rephrased her question, "is this okay for you?" Rachel nodded silently, "I'm glad, if there's anything you need we can go get it, and if you decide you want to stay here, we can paint it a different colour if you want."
Rachel frowned, what did she mean by that? Nobody had ever told her it was her decision to stay before. She shook her head and Shelby smiled, "you like the yellow?" Rachel nodded again, she didn't mind the yellow, but she didn't want this woman to go to any trouble, not when she wouldn't be here long anyway, "okay, well, there are hangers in the closet and there are extra blankets in the bottom drawer, but other than that, you can put things wherever you want them, and if anything needs washing, just drop it in the laundry basket" she gestured to the wicker basket by the wardrobe. "I need to talk to Sarah but then I'll come help you if you need me to. And if you need anything before then, come down and ask okay?" Rachel nodded again and Shelby made her way downstairs, with the younger kids she'd unpack for them but she reasoned that Rachel was getting to an age where she'd be getting herself ready, letting her choose where to put her things might help her feel more at home here.
It didn't take Sarah and Shelby long to go through the paperwork they needed to go through, and, after saying goodbye to the social worker, Shelby made her way back upstairs. She knocked gently on the door even though it was already open, frowning when she saw Rachel curled into a ball in the corner, "hey, what's wrong?" she asked, kneeling down in front of Rachel, but making sure to not get too close. She saw Rachel begin to shake and her heart broke as she saw the girl wrap her arms around her head.
"I'm not going to hurt you" Shelby said softly, "I just came to see if you needed any help, but it looks like you're almost done right?" Rachel was frozen in fear, she couldn't work out how to get her skirts to stay on the hangers, she'd done her best but they'd all fallen off into a heap on the floor in the wardrobe, Shelby was going to be so mad, she'd asked Rachel to do something and now she was going to know just how stupid she was and send her back. "Is there anything you'd like me to help with?" Shelby asked, knowing yes no questions were her best bet right now. Rachel didn't respond, "would you like me to leave you alone?" Rachel nodded although she knew it was too good to be true, she didn't get to decide things like that. "Okay" Shelby pushed herself to her feet, "I'll be downstairs if you want me, I'll come let you know when dinner's ready."
Shelby wasn't fazed by Rachel's behaviour, the girl had been here for less than an hour, it would be stupid of Shelby to expect everything to go swimmingly, especially with how often Rachel had been bounced around in the past. She knew it might not be easy, but she was determined to do all she could to help Rachel deal with everything life had already thrown at her.
As she always did when she was feeling stressed but wanting to hide it from the children in her care, Shelby headed for her music room, expressing her emotions through music as she sat at the piano. She was so lost in her music that she didn't hear Rachel make her way downstairs, but she noticed the girl appearing in the open doorway, "hi" she gestured to the piano, "do you want a go?"
"I need to pee!" Rachel's eyes widened in shock and she covered her mouth with her hands. She'd convinced herself she'd break her silence to ask politely if she could use the bathroom, but the words had just spilled out before she could stop them. She'd held it for as long as she could, but now her tummy was starting to hurt and she didn't know how much longer she could last without having an accident and she was sure Shelby would send her back if she made a mess like that.
"Okay" Shelby was quick to stand to her feet, leading Rachel down the hall, "there you go" she pointed to the downstairs toilet, "when you're done I'll show you around the house so you know where everything is."
Rachel nodded and made her way into the bathroom. She couldn't understand why this woman was being so nice to her, she was bad. She was horrible and nobody wanted her. She was sure Shelby must know that she'd bitten her last foster parent. She hadn't meant to, she'd been scared, she'd asked him to leave her alone and he hadn't, when he reached towards her she'd panicked and bitten his arm. They told her she was an animal and she'd been sent to bed without her dinner, the next morning Sarah had turned up and told Rachel she was there to help her pack her bags. Shelby must know that. Everyone knew she was trouble so why was Shelby being so nice to her?
She washed her hands once she was finished and saw Shelby walking towards her as she stepped back into the hall, "so that's the downstairs toilet" she said with a smile, "this is the kitchen, obviously. Would you like a drink?" Rachel shook her head so Shelby took a glass from a cabinet and set it on the side, "I'll leave this here then, if you change your mind you can get water and ice from the door of the refrigerator" she took out a second glass to demonstrate, "or there's juice right here if you'd rather have that" she opened the door to show Rachel the fruit juice inside, "you can help yourself whenever you want, or ask if you need help". Rachel nodded again and Shelby continued the tour, "this is my music room, when you're at school I teach voice and piano lessons, if you want to play then you can, I don't mind." Rachel said nothing so Shelby moved on, showing Rachel the living room and the dining room before leading her to the final room downstairs, "you can come in here whenever you want" Shelby told her, Rachel's jaw dropping, eyes widening as she took in the playroom she'd been led into. "There are DVDs and games for the console in the cabinet under the TV" Shelby gestured to the TV on the wall, knowing that she'd already removed anything that wasn't age appropriate for the seven year old, "board games and puzzles" she gestured to one of the cupboards and then another, "crayons and paper, nothing in here is out of bounds, you can play with or use whatever you want, all I ask is that you tidy things away when you're done."
Rachel was in awe, this was amazing, there's been a playroom like this at one of the group homes she'd stayed in, but the bigger kids always took over and Rachel never really got to play with anything good, but now she could play whenever she wanted. She hoped Shelby wouldn't send her away for a little while, she was going to do her very best to be good here.
Shelby gave Rachel a few minutes to take everything in before taking her upstairs, showing her the bathroom, the two empty bedrooms and then her bedroom, "in the daytime, I'd like you to knock before you come in" she explained, "but if you need me at nighttime and I'm sleeping then you can come right in and wake me up okay?" Rachel nodded even though she knew she wouldn't, she could only imagine how much trouble she'd get in if she woke her up. "Is there anything you want to know?" Shelby asked, "do you have any questions?"
Rachel shook her head, if she was honest she was a little overwhelmed, she'd had foster families be nice to her before but it only lasted a little while before they realised how much trouble she was, and she knew that one day Shelby would be sick of her too. She just wanted to sit in her room and try to keep herself out of trouble for as long as possible. She was sick of having to keep moving around all the time and she was convinced that if she kept quiet and kept out of the way, that one day, someone would let her stay.
"Would you like to watch a movie before dinner?" Shelby asked. Rachel didn't respond but Shelby saw her glance briefly towards her bedroom, "if you want to go to your room or the playroom then that's okay too, I know today's been a big day for you and if you need to be on your own for a little while then that's okay, I don't mind."
Rachel nodded and slowly made her way to her bedroom, Shelby's heart breaking for her, she wanted nothing more than to scoop the girl into her arms and hug her tightly, but she wasn't sure Rachel would react well to that, not now anyway, "I'll come let you know when dinner's ready" she told her, "and I'll be downstairs if you want anything in the meantime."
When Shelby went to tell Rachel dinner was ready, she found the girl, once again, sat on the floor in the corner of the room, her knees pulled up to her chest and, if Shelby wasn't mistaken, her thumb firmly in her mouth. She knocked gently on the open door before stepping inside, "dinner's ready, do you want to come down and eat with me or would you like to eat up here?" she got no response so she knelt on the floor, being sure to keep some space between herself and Rachel. "Rachel, I'd like you to eat something so you don't get sick. If you don't feel upto coming downstairs yet then that's okay, just for tonight I'll let you eat up here. Is that what you'd like to do?" Rachel nodded and Shelby stood to her feet, "Okay, I'll bring you a plate up but just for tonight okay, tomorrow I'd like you to eat at the table." She left the room and returned a few minutes later, putting a plate, a glass of orange juice and a bottle of water on the desk, "if you don't like it then come and tell me yeah? I'll be just downstairs and I won't be mad if you'd rather have something else."
Rachel stayed in the corner once Shelby left, resting her chin on her knees. She was hungry, really, really hungry, she had a slice of toast for breakfast and a sandwich for her lunch, and now her tummy was starting to hurt. But she couldn't eat the food Shelby had brought her. The bowl of pasta smelled really good and Rachel wanted to eat it, but there was cheese on top, and sometimes, when she had cheese or milk, it made her sick and she didn't want Shelby to be angry if she made a mess, so she wasn't going to eat the food, as much as she wanted to, she knew she couldn't.
Shelby gave Rachel almost 45 minutes before going upstairs to get her bowl. She was slightly concerned when she saw that Rachel hadn't even touched the food, "aren't you hungry?" she asked softly. Rachel's stomach chose that moment to growl lightly, Rachel blushing a little as Shelby chuckled, "okay, so what would you like instead of this?" she knelt on the floor. "How about something simple? Toast maybe? Would you eat some toast?" Rachel nodded, "do you like peanut butter?" Rachel nodded again, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were her favourite thing in the entire world to eat. "Okay, so, toast and peanut butter?" Rachel nodded again. "Is the orange juice okay?" Again Rachel simply nodded and Shelby smiled as she pushed herself to her feet, "okay, let me take this downstairs and I'll get you some toast."Once again Rachel was left confused by Shelby's actions, she'd wasted her food but Shelby hadn't been mad, she'd just said she'd get her something else. Rachel wasn't sure she'd ever understand why Shelby was being so nice to her.
Shelby covered Rachel's bowl and placed it in the refrigerator, if Rachel didn't like it, she'd have it for lunch tomorrow. She dropped two pieces of bread into the toaster and grabbed an apple and banana from the fruit bowl, she could only assume that Rachel was feeling a little anxious and that was affecting her hunger. Shelby just hoped she'd eat the toast, she definitely didn't want the girl going to bed with an empty stomach.
When Shelby handed Rachel the toast, she began eating so fast that Shelby was worried she'd make herself ill, "slow down" she said softly, "you'll make yourself ill if you eat that quickly, chew before you swallow please." Rachel swallowed the food she already had in her mouth and took a little longer chewing the next bite, "that's better" Shelby smiled, "you don't have to rush, nobody's gonna take it from you, and if you're still hungry after that then I'll make you some more."
Rachel listened to Shelby and slowly ate the rest of her toast, Shelby sat on the floor a little way away from her, "would you like some more?" Rachel shook her head, "what about some fruit then?" Once again Rachel nodded and, when Shelby offered her the apple and banana, she chose the banana, sitting back in the corner as she ate it.
"Thank you" Shelby smiled once Rachel had finished, "now, how about we pick out some clothes for you to wear to school in the morning?" despite the fact Rachel's current school was almost thirty minutes away, Shelby had decided not to move her, she figured a new house was enough for the time being, she'd keep Rachel in her current school to give her some sense of familiarity.
Rachel nodded but she began to feel sick again, she knew her skirts were all in a heap at the bottom of the closet, Shelby was going to be so angry that Rachel hadn't put her clothes away neatly. She'd tried, she really had, but they kept falling off the hangers and she didn't know how to make them stay. "Oh dear" Shelby picked the skirts up, Rachel knowing instantly that she was going to throw them away to teach her a lesson. "It's always hard to get skirts to stay on these hangers, how about we fold them and put them in one of your drawers until I can get you some better hangers for them?" Rachel could only look on in shock as Shelby dumped the bundle of skirts onto the bed and began folding them, "here" she held one out to Rachel, "why don't you put them away?" She knew that after a lifetime of being moved from home to home, sometimes children needed a little control, they needed to be able to make choices, even just little little things like which drawer they used for their clothes, and Shelby was happy to give them that.
Shelby praised and thanked Rachel once she'd put her skirts away and told her, "you need a shirt, and either some pants or a skirt, and underwear, socks if you wear pants or tights if you wear a skirt." Rachel had never been able to choose her own clothes before, someone always did it for her. She stood gazing into the wardrobe for a while before Shelby asked, "would you like some help?" Rachel nodded so Shelby asked, "pants or a skirt?" Rachel thought for a moment before reaching for a pair of jeans that had flowers embroidered down one leg. "They're pretty" Shelby smiled, hanging them on the wardrobe door, "what about this?" she asked, taking out a pale pink tshirt, similar in colour to the flowers on the jeans. Rachel nodded and Shelby hung that beside the jeans, "now can you get yourself underwear and socks?" Shelby asked, "and put them on top of the dresser for me?"
Rachel did as Shelby asked before turning to face her again, hoping she'd done it right, that Shelby wouldn't be mad at her, "that's great" Shelby smiled, "thank you for your help."
After picking out clothes for the next day, Shelby asked Rachel to get out some pyjamas, telling her it was time for her to start getting ready for bed. She asked if Rachel wanted a bath or a shower, getting a nod at the word bath, she then asked if Rachel could do it on her own, getting a shake of her head and then a nod after she confirmed that Rachel would need help. Rachel didn't have any toiletries of her own but it didn't bother Shelby, she always kept extras, just in case, she'd had children turn up with little notice and just the clothes on their back, she had a storage closet downstairs that held outfits in almost every size imaginable, she was prepared for anything. It took a while of yes/no questions as the bath filled, but eventually Shelby found out that Rachel needed help washing her hair, she let the girl sit in the bubbles for a few minutes before reaching for the shower head, running the water over Rachel's hand to check the temperature was okay before she began to wash her hair.
Shelby was so gentle, Rachel kept waiting for her to pull at her hair, to tug on the tangles she seemed to always have at the end of the day, but Shelby was nothing but careful, she noticed the tangles so she used conditioner first, letting it sit for a moment before taking a wide tooth comb from the cupboard and gently combing out the knots before rinsing out the conditioner and shampooing Rachel's hair. Rachel screwed her eyes shut tightly, she hated when the bubbles got in her eyes, but it didn't happen, Shelby kept her hand on her forehead, making sure she kept her head tipped back and stopping the bubbles running down her face. Rachel thought that Shelby would think she was a baby because she needed help, but she didn't say anything, just kept asking Rachel if she was okay, checking she wasn't hurting the girl.
Rachel couldn't understand why Shelby wasn't mad. She'd been told at her last home that seven was the age where she should be showering on her own. She hated showers, she always felt cold afterwards, and she hated having to wash her own hair, it was so long and thick, she didn't mind washing her body and she was really good at brushing her teeth, but no matter how hard she tried, her head was always really itchy after she washed her own hair. She'd tried to cut her hair off once, it was stupid and she hated it so she thought she'd cut it all off. She'd only managed one chunk at the front though before she'd been found. She'd got a spanking for it and then she'd had to have bangs to hide the chunk of hair she'd cut, and she hated those too, hated how they always got in her eyes or stuck to her head. Maybe Shelby would let her cut them off one day.
Shelby towel dried Rachel's hair once she was dressed in her pyjamas, combing through it once again before she braided it to stop it getting tangled in the night. "Do you want to choose a book?" Shelby gestured to the small bookcase under the window, "you can read for a little while or I can read to you?" Rachel's head snapped up, surprised at that offer, wasn't she too old to be read to? "Go on" Shelby encouraged, "go choose something."
Rachel spent a few moments looking at the bookshelf, pulling out a couple of books but pushing them back again. She did that until she'd looked at almost every book before selecting one and pulling it from the shelf, "okay, in you jump" Shelby had already pulled back the covers and Rachel clutched the book to her chest as she climbed into bed. "Are you going to read on your own or do you want me to read it?" Shelby asked. Rachel looked down at the book for a minute before looking up at Shelby, not saying anything as she shyly held out the book, "okay" Shelby sat down on the edge of the bed, checking Rachel was comfortable before beginning to read. Her eyes fluttered shut when Shelby was barely halfway through the story, but Shelby made sure to finish it anyway, putting the book back on the shelf once she'd done, tucking Rachel in and brushing her bangs back from her face as she whispered, "sweet dreams Rachel, sleep well" and left the room.