Chapter 1: A (Female) Star is Born*1
In the past, a majority of great stories have opened with the familiar wording of "once upon a time" or any other fancy-schmancy wording thereof, some stories have even had their opening focusing on a certain character or location that plays a role in the story. This story belongs in the latter category…*2
Ever since her debut in Space Jam back in November 15th, 1996, Lola Bunny has been one pop culture character of extreme interest: she's been a girlfriend to Bugs Bunny, an athlete, a news reporter, a baby, etc.
But when all of the madness reaches a ceasefire, it can't be denied that as the years went by, when compared to Bugs, who's always had something exciting to do with his filmography, Warner Brothers had no plan right from the get go on what to do with her.
My opinion about the whole affair? It reeks. It 100%, no doubt whatsoever, completely reeks. It reeks worse than excrement!
Not only was Lola changed several times, she also more or less, along the way, became somewhat of a controversial figure in the world of pop culture, kinda like what happened similarly to Krystal from Nintendo's Star Fox video game franchise.
"That's fine and dandy," you all say. "So, what does all of this have to do with Lola?"
My answer is as follows: What if I were to tell you there's a multiverse that no one knows about? Well, no one that is, except for me, the author who's writing this story, and you the readers who are about to delve into this story.
"But just what is a multiverse," you ask. "Do I mean something that was as seen in the Doctor Strange comic books and movies?"
The dictionary defines it as a noun which means, 'a universe or collection of universes which some speculative theories suggest could exist'. Another term for multiverse is, of course, alternative universe, or AU, for short.
So yes, I do mean just like the Doctor Strange comic books and movies.
Anyway, in this case, this specific multiverse that I, the author, am establishing for you readers to check out, sees what would happen if Lola existed years ago when the Looney Tunes were back in their prime before the first Space Jam movie came out years ago.
And normally a story like this would be short and sweet to the point, but this will not be the case for my story, as I am going to milk this cow for all it's worth.
"But why?" you all ask me.
I am going to do so for three good reasons:
Reason A*3: Up until now, I don't think that anyone else has done so on compiling a full-fledged story like this with more than one chapter. Some people may have done their share of fan art and/or fanfiction with one story, but nothing comes close as to what I am offering all of you. So if no one is going to do anything about it, I'll just have to do it myself.
Reason 2: I love both the Looney Tunes and Lola Bunny. As such, it's one of my favorite pop culture trends that never gets old for me, as such, there's just something about them I will never get enough of. On top of that, as I mentioned earlier, it's like Warner Brothers didn't know what to do with Lola as time went by. So, if they won't figure it out in our universe, then I will just have to do it myself… At least for a multiverse's sake.
And finally, Reason D: Because Heaven knows that I just love to write stories. Now granted there are a great number of many other stories that I am also working on, but this story is just one I've been meaning to do for some time, more so than my rewrite of fixing the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, my Harry Potter series AU or anything else.
Now for those of you who just don't have the patience to consider checking out this story and/or you just flat out hate cartoons (or Lola), I kindly then ask that you please leave this story now, as it's not for you… I'm sure that you'll find other things to read.
However, if you who are curious where I, the author of this story, am going with this story and/or you love old fashioned cartoons (or Lola), as I do, then I both invite all of you to stay behind, enjoy the ride, and welcome aboard you fellow readers and cartoon lovers.
With that all said and done: Let's begin now!
* PAGE BREAK *
Our story opens up in a multiversal version of Burbank, California in the United States of America. It may be seen and established that this version is (like the one in our universe), as we know, home of the Bob Hope Airport and the Warner Brothers studio lot, which has stars, movies and TV shows to be created, and of course most importantly of all… Cartoons, or Toons for short.
And of course (as with our universe), there is no finer cartoon series to have been created to give the Disney studios a run for their money than that of Warner Brothers' very own Looney Tunes & Merrie Melodies. With their wacky and zany shenanigans galore, the Looney Tunes & Merrie Melodies have had some pretty fun-filled times. Safe to say, it's fun for all and all for fun!
The year in which we come to is that of 1945, more specifically June 15th, just a couple months shy from World War II ending, and a week after the latest cartoon release "A Gruesome Twosome", which is all about two cats trying to win a girl cat's affections by getting ahold of Tweety. It is also a few weeks just before the release of "Tale of Two Mice", which features the caricatures of Babbit and Catstello (as a nod to the comedy duo team Abbott and Costello), who are now seen as mice as opposed to cats, trying to outwit a cat as seen in "A Tale of Two Kitties" from 1942.
Inside the Animation Department, a Toon human male animator, cartoonist and screenwriter under the name of Stephen Leonard Harris, or Har, to his friends because of his wild and zany sense of humor, is at work drawing a brand-new cartoon character, or Toon, for short.*4
This specific Toon will not only serve as the love interest and companion to Warner Brothers main cartoon star, Bugs Bunny, but they will also change the face of animation forever, as there are way too many male Looney Tune characters.
Not that there's anything wrong with that…
Her name? Lolita Katherine Bunny, better known as "Lola" to herself, her friends, her family members, her fellow Toons and close associates.
As the daughter of billionaires Walter Herschel Bunny and Patricia Isabelle Bunny, Lola was born on November 15th, 1919. She has been raised Jewish Christian by both her parents, as far as religious beliefs are concerned, and she's still faithful to this day.
Lola also had a deep and well-guarded and extremely protected secret that only she and her parents knew about, but more on that later as time goes by.
And while she is not as funny when compared to Bugs, Daffy or some of the other male Looney Tune characters, Lola can be funny or do funny things if needed, but not to the point where it's super annoying compared to her The Looney Tunes Show counterpart in our universe, which came out years later.
That show, by the way, does not exist in this universe.
So, think of it this way: in this multiverse, Lola can be funny and/or do funny things if needed, but only when and/or if the story/script should call for it. That said, she is known to laugh at jokes or anything humor related, so she's not completely humorless and/or stoic, compared to most people. If anything, she does know how to loosen up and calm down if bothered, especially if someone were to call her by a certain word, which is pet peeve she has, that being the word 'doll'.
For her looks: Har had given Lola light blonde hair, light aqua green-blue colored eyes with white sclera, a combo of tan and sand fur (the latter of which is on her chest, cheeks and abdomen), and she has her ears in a purple, or any other colored scrunchy to make it look as though she has her ears in the form of a ponytail. Her tail notably, when compared to Bugs' teardrop shaped one, was in the form of a cotton ball.
Clothing wise, she wears a light yellow sweater, a medium-sized lavender purple skirt a black jacket (her attire can, of course, change if needed to suit her mood, or the cartoon she's in), and white gloves, just like Bugs.
She stands at 3 feet 2 inches, weighs at 45 pounds, has an athletic hourglass shaped body and evenly sized Bust-Waist-Hips measurements, but nothing too scandalous or heavy when compared to many women (both real and fictitious), especially Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, at best, she's 42-32-42 and her breasts are in the D cup range.*5
And much like all other Toons, as well as other famous pop culture characters, Lola also possesses a special age resistant type of immortality that enables to age super slowly and not become older as she reaches her elder years. That said, if a story calls for it, she can appear much older or younger, otherwise that said, she's very youthful, when compared to Emma "Granny" Webster.
One last thing that should be noted, when compared to Bugs Bunny's combination of Brooklyn and Bronx accent, Daffy Duck's trademark lisp, or even Tweety Bird's child-like accent and lisp, Lola's accent is almost similar to that of both Judy Garland in her younger days, as well as Sally Acorn from the serious Sonic the Hedgehog Saturday morning cartoon.
A few minutes later, after drawing her, Har brings Lola (as well as her family and other relations) to life, enabling her to live her life freely outside of animation, just like how God created Adam and Eve.
"Hello, Lola," Har said in a kind and sincere voice.
"Hello, sir," answered Lola, who yawned and stretched herself out.*6
The girl bunny then looked side to side, spooked out, while doing a double-take.
"Wh-where am I?" Eventually, Lola then gazed upon her creator. "Or better yet, who are you?"
"Who am I?" asked Har, as he pointed to himself in shock. "Who am I?"
Regaining his composure, the cartoonist and writer calmed down.
"I am Stephen Leonard Harris, your creator, but you can call me Har*7, everyone does. And you're at Warner Brothers, the best movie studio lot ever built, which is home to stars, movies and the best Cartoons in the world: the Looney Tunes & Merrie Melodies."
Cartoons? Warner Brothers? Looney Tunes? Merrie Melodies? It was all now starting to make sense to Lola, as she was created for entertainment purposes.
"Fascinating," a much calmer Lola said as she then pointed to herself. "Is that what I am, a Looney Tune?"
"You are indeed," nodded her creator, that is to say 'animated creator' and not God. "But most importantly, you're a cartoon character, or Toon for short."
Har then left his desk where he drew his cartoons and wrote his stories.
"Come with me, Lola," he said.
"Where are we going, Har?" asked the girl bunny.
"Now that you're a Toon star, Lola," replied Har, as he drew a résumé up for Lola, "especially one who will work for Warner Brothers, all of the other Toon stars new and old need to meet with the Chairman of the Board, your boss and mine, Mr. Isaac Plotz*8."
"Fair enough, lead the way."
And that's exactly what the Toon human did for his creation.
* PAGE BREAK *
Meanwhile, as Har then took Lola to the main office on the Warner Brothers studio lot where Mr. Isaac B. Plotz*8, the Chairman of the Board, and C.E.O. of Warner Brothers was, the older man was currently wrapping up a meeting with the studio's psychiatrist, Dr. Josef auf Scratch*8, to meet the new Toon when his intercom buzzed.
"Yes?" said Isaac, answering the call.
"Mr. Plotz," said Heidi Noelle*8, aka Hi Nurse, on the other end, "Mr. Harris is here to see you with that new Toon you've asked him to create."
A smile spread across Mr. Plotz's face.
Good old Har, always working hard, he thought to himself.
"Oh good," he said out loud, "send him in, Heidi."
"Right away, sir," Heidi replied.
"Also, have Lester*8 send Bugs to my office in five minutes." the tall and thin balding man added.
"Of course, sir," the Warner Brother nurse answered.
As Har and Lola made their way inside to meet the two men, Isaac spoke to Josef.
"Now remember, Josef," he said firmly but calmly to the studio's shrink. "I want you to help me make the new Toon feel welcome as with all our previous creations. For without equal treatment, how can we make her, let alone anyone else feel welcome at Warner Brothers, right?"
The studio shrink nodded warmly and spoke in his thick German accent.
"No vorries, Herr Plotz," he said with a smile. "I zink zat I can do zat vith nein problems. Any friend of yours, is a friend of mine, Toon or othervise."
"Glad to hear it," said Isaac, who nodded back warmly.
A few minutes later, Har and Lola entered Mr. Plotz's office, he stood to the side as Lola shook hands with her boss and the studio's psychiatrist.
"Mr. Plotz, Dr. Scratch," said Har, "allow me to introduce our latest creation: Lolita Katherine Bunny, or Lola, for short. No relation to Bugs."
"Well, hello, Lola," said the Chairman of the Board, "it is an extreme pleasure to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Plotz." said Lola, who looked at the C.E.O. of the WB, then turned to the stars and Toons psychiatrist. "You too, Dr. Scratch."
"Likevise," Josef agreed. "It is fery nice to meet you ahs vell, Ms. Bunny."
"So, Lola," asked Isaac, "what makes you want to work for us?"
Lola then took out her résumé that Har drew up for her while they were on the way to Plotz's office and began telling off her skills: she was proficient in sports, she could speak several languages, and most importantly, in a time when Warner Brothers needs more female Toons, she'd be willing to help get the job no matter what, especially for shorts that either do or don't require sports. That, and she wants to work with the other Looney Tunes, plus there's no finer studio to work at and for than that of Warner Brothers.
"Yes," agreed Mr. Plotz, who nodded his head, "that does sound like something any one of our Toons would say. I'll tell you what, we'll give you a shot and if you're that good as your résumé says, we will hire you."
His intercom buzzed once more.
"Excuse for a second." Answering, he replied. "Yes? Isaac Plotz here."
"Lester is here with Bugs, Mr. Plotz," said Heidi, on the other end.
"Thanks, Heidi," replied Isaac. "Send Bugs in."
A few moments later, Bugs arrived.
"Eh… What's up, Plotz?"*9 he asked as he walked in the office in a funny manner.
Everyone laughed warmly, including Lola.
So that's Bugs Bunny, she thought to herself. He's definitely funny in person, not to mention very handsome.
"Ah, Bugs. Perfect timing, old friend," said Isaac as he indicated Lola. "Let me introduce you to our latest creation and one of your eventual co-stars: Lolita Katherine Bunny, or Lola for short. No relation to you."*10
"How do you do, Mr. Bunny?" asked Lola, as she warmly shook Bugs by the hand. "It's lovely to meet you."
"Oh, please, Lola," said Bugs, acting funny as usual, "Mr. Bunny is my father's name, and yours too. But around here, call me Bugs, everyone does."
Once again, everyone laughed, including Lola.
"Okay, Bugs," she said. "If you insist."
"Bugs," his boss continued, "be a 24-karat gem and show Lola around the studio lot, would you?"
"Of course I will, Mr. IP," said Bugs.
For a third time, everyone laughed again at the joke, except for Lola, who didn't understand that joke.
"I don't get it," she confessed.
"In time," encouraged Bugs, "you will, Lola."
"And Bugs," their boss added, "bring Lola back here when you're done so we can have her sign her contract, will you?"
"Sure thing, Boss," the male rabbit said with a warm nod.
* PAGE BREAK *
So Bugs and Lola exited the office and the former showed his new colleague all around the studio, only now and again did Lola find herself asking questions as needed: He showed her the studios were the Looney Tunes & Merrie Melodies shorts were made, the cafeteria, the break room, he showed her everything. But it was during one point while on the tour that Lola noticed the Warner Brothers water tower.*11
"What's up there?" she asked Bugs curiously.
Thunder and lightning clapped ominously, followed by scary music. Bugs then looked in her direction with a scowl on his face.
"That is the Warner Brothers water tower," he replied, "which we are never to enter, nor open, under any circumstances whatsoever. Understand, doll?"*12
But as Bugs said his last word, it was now Lola's turn to heat up.
"Doll?!" she asked, as fire burned in her eyes.
"Uh-huh," nodded Bugs, who was unaware of the fact that he just made a big… no-no, HUGE mistake.
Lola then grabbed Bugs and started twisting him inside and out like a pretzel.
"Was it something I said?" asked Bugs, who was about to get his answer, just as Lola walked up to him. Nervously, he looked up. "Yeeeees?"
Lola pulled the famous male rabbit a little closer to her.
"A little thing I should warn you about myself for future reference, Bugs: don't ever call me…" she looked at her ears and could see that they were close to her face, she blew them back, "doll. Got that?"
Bugs saluted Lola as though she were a drill sergeant.
"Ma'am! Yes, ma'am, he replied playfully.
"Good," beamed Lola, "glad to know that we have an understanding."
They went on their way continuing the tour, all the while Bugs continued to roll like a tire. Eventually, he got himself untangled.
"And incidentally, Bugs," Lola later asked, "what did you mean earlier by calling Mr. Plotz 'IP'?"
"Oh, that?" Bugs shrugged as he smiled innocently, "Well. Uh, you know…"
"No, I don't," said Lola, shaking her head. "Please tell me."
So Bugs whispered in Lola's ears, upon hearing the explanation of the joke, she frowned and gagged in disgust… it was a bathroom joke.
"Yuck, I'm sorry that I asked."
"Yeah," sighed Bugs, "I got that one from Daffy."
Of course, you mean Daffy Duck, Lola thought to herself.
"No offense, Bugs, but I don't think that's one of your better jokes."
"Well, to be fair, as you go along working with us, you'll find that there are some jokes that are not for everyone. And always remember this: if you have to explain a joke, then there is no joke."*13
"Fair enough," Lola shrugged.
* PAGE BREAK *
Having seen everything from his office window on what Lola did earlier to Bugs, Isaac turned to Har with a raised eyebrow.
"Is Lola always like that, Har?" the C.E.O. of Warner Brothers asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Only when you rile her up." Har replied, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I guess that's something I probably should have mentioned earlier to you, huh?"
"Yes, you should have." Isaac nodded, a bit annoyed. He then quickly changed his frown to a grin. "Then again, everyone needs a trademark, and I think we've found another one for Lola. I mean, besides her love for sports."
"Oh good," Har sighed in relief.
A few moments later, Bugs returned Lola to Isaac's office, where she signed her contract, was given a full-on welcome to Warner Brothers and some keys to an apartment building room.
"Enjoy your stay with us, Lola." Isaac said as he once again warmly shook Lola by the hand, "Welcome aboard. We are very happy to have you working with us."
"Thank you, Mr. Plotz," said Lola.
"We'll see you bright and early tomorrow at eight," her boss continued.
"Sounds good," the girl bunny agreed.
"I look forward to our time together, Lola." added Bugs, who now warmly shook Lola's hand once more.
"Same here, Bugs." Lola replied.
And without another word said, Lola headed on her way home to her apartment, now having a stable job. Probably the best job in the whole wide world: entertainment, more specifically cartoons.
Author's notes:
* So that was the very first chapter of what if Lola were created years ago with the other Looney Tunes and what life would be like if she worked for Warner Brothers years ago. Let me know what you thought of it. It is merely the first of many chapters I will be writing. And as always, please fill free to leave me your feedback.
* Stand by, I will eventually post cartoons that Lola stars in. As far as ideas for stories that I'll be typing all, these ideas came to me from fellow author of this website, CalvinFujii, who helped me create these stories, I also got a few ideas contributed to me by fellow author EstelleLuminesCent.
* And finally: I own nothing in this fanfiction, except the words I write and OC's who are related to the Animaniacs characters (save for Thaddeus Plotz's dad), as such: Lola Bunny, all rights and everything else are owned and © by Warner Brothers, or otherwise noted if I use another piece of media, such as Mickey Mouse from Disney.
* EASTER EGGS *
1. The name of the chapter is inspired by the name of a 1937 movie called A Star is Born, the movie itself I have not seen, but I want to.
• The movie has also had three remakes: one in 1954, one in 1976 and one recently in 2018, all three of which were made by Warner Brothers, but the 1937 original was made by United Artists.
2. The opening for my story was derived not only from many authors' prefaces to their stories, but also like something out of The Twilight Zone, albeit much longer.
3. As for my numbering system about this whole thing (reason A, reason 2 and reason D), this is a nod to Buzz McCallister's numbering system on why he's not worried about his young brother as seen in the first Home Alone movie.
4. I named Lola's fictional creator, or Stephen L. Harris, after Leo Benevenuti, Steve Rudnick, and Timothy Harris, all of whom were 3 writers for the original Space Jam movie… Adding to this, the first two writers were also the writer duo team to one of my other favorite movies, the (original) Santa Clause movie. I didn't mention the fourth writer, Herschel Weingrod, because Har does NOT have that name as part of his name.
• That, and it's his first name as I gave that as a middle name to Lola's dad, Walter.
5. As you will have gathered, I am completely against the idea of Lola being flat-chested as seen in Space Jam: A New Legacy. While her sports bra and jersey may have been slightly revealing in the original movie, Lola's breasts were NOT a thing of controversy. If they were, the movie crew would've edited them out before releasing the movie to theaters.
• That said, I have nothing against flat-chested women and girls in real life, it's just that Lola is a cartoon character/anthropomorphic rabbit. As such, I believe that it's perfectly natural for female characters of other media (such as movies, TV, cartoons, video games, etc.) to have breasts.
- And if you people want a more detailed idea of what I mean on why Lola has NOT changed for the better since 2011, feel free to check out a video by YouTuber user Retro Meister called "Why Lola Bunny Matters".
6. For Lola coming to life and her speaking to Har, I was a little inspired (if not entirely) by the first animation short to star an obscure and offensive cartoon character under the name of Bosko, the Talk-Ink Kid, whom, I won't deny as a character, (and I his shorts as well) has NOT aged too well compared to someone as loveable and beloved like, say… Droopy.
• This is mostly because he was a stereotype for African-Americans at that time (especially the usage of blackface and Jim Crow laws years ago). And granted years later he got retconned as a monkey, but by the time that happened, it was TOO late, the damage had been done.
- That said, I am NOT looking in any shape or form to make Lola a stereotype at all, if anything, my aim is to keep Lola is a tomboy who loves sports, a femme fatale and the love interest of Bugs Bunny.
7. When Har says to call him Har and admits 'everyone does, that is a nod to the Batman character Harley Quinn having once said, "Call me Harley, everyone does."
8. The following characters serve as family relations and nods to some of the characters from Animaniacs and what's their relationship with each character:
• Mr. Isaac B. Plotz is the Chairman of the Board, C.E.O. of Warner Brothers and father of Thaddeus Plotz, and he's the ONLY relation who I don't own, seeing as he DOES exist in the original '90's Animaniacs universe, I only own the first and middle names which I gave him.
• Dr. Josef auf Scratch is the paternal grandfather of Dr. Otto von Scratchansniff.
• Heidi A. Noelle, aka Hi Nurse, is the mother of Heloise Nerz, aka Hello Nurse.
• And finally, Lester E. Ward is one of two maternal uncles to Ralph Theodore Guard, unlike his nephew, he is more competent and physically fit.
- That said, I have nothing against heavy set/obese/fat people, it's just the way God made them (or the way they choose to live), and I myself try to get a workout 3-4 times a week to lose weight.
9. Bugs' one-liner, or "Eh… What's up, Plotz?", is obviously a nod to his catchphrase, or "Eh… What's up, doc?".
10. The "no relation" idea of Lola not being related to Bugs comes from a recurring gag in Tiny Toon Adventures, mostly whenever Buster and Babs introduce themselves, they confirm that they are NOT related to each other, despite the fact both of them (as well as Bugs and Lola) share the same last name.
11. The water tower reference is, of course, a nod to both Animaniacs, as well as the REAL Warner Brothers company having a water tower.
12. But Bugs' warning to Lola about it, was a nod to the movie version of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, as uttered by Count Olaf, played brilliantly by Jim Carrey.
13. When Bugs says to Lola, "If you have to explain a joke, then there is no joke.", it's a nod to The Joker pointing out one of the few painful truthful facts of comedy to Harley Quinn as seen in the Batman: The Animated Series episode "Mad Love".
• That, and though Bugs didn't say the latter, "You're always taking shots from folks who just don't seem to get the joke."
Until the next chapter, my fellow readers and Toons:
I'm M. R. Parkerson signing off…