Joshua was walking near the lake one afternoon. He was thinking about the past. About a rather unusual experience with a beautiful young woman whom he fell head over heels for. It had happened so quickly that he really did not know what happened. He was always playing the field, never just settling down with one girl/woman. But this one was different. He could not put his finger on it and wasn't really sure what had happened. He remembered his two or three other 'loves' of his life yet compared to them, she was the most complicated woman he had ever met. She was unlike the girls in the dormitory, she was so different that Jason and Jeremy told him, or maybe they tried to warn him? About her. He did not listen and now, now he was in a different state, another home, but something was not right. He wanted to go back to see his brothers, he wanted to just talk to them. Actually, he was hoping to talk to Jason mostly, but Jeremy would help if he could. He needed their insight, he needed their love, their help to 'pick up the pieces' as Jeremy had put it so long ago when he had gotten talked out of marrying Candy.

Jeremy's marriage to Candy had finally happened and Joshua was an uncle. Yet, he left all that behind to follow her. To make her his own, yet it seems as if the tables had turned, and he was hers! She gave herself, but only a part of herself to him. There was intimacy in the relationship but there was no common bond or love that he could feel or be secure in. He felt as if he was not good enough for her, although he tried very hard. She had asked him to leave his family, make a new life for himself and her. In another state, she said that if he did that, he would then be free to make his own decisions, do his own handiwork, and they would be happy forever. He picked up a rock and as he threw it into the lake he prayed:

"God, I know that I haven't really spoken to you since I was a little boy but somehow, I still feel like that little boy now. I am confused, I am hurt, and I don't know what to do? Could you somehow send Jason or Jeremy or both to help me? If I contact them, she will hurt me more. I don't think I can take this! I want out but I can't leave! Oh, Good Lord, Help Me!" He cried out on his knees fervently hoping to have an answer. There was a small breeze and suddenly a silence came. No birds or sounds just a silence for a moment, then it passed. The Lord heard his plea. Joshua would have help.

He stood up a few minutes later, not necessarily happy but calm. He headed back to the cabin that he had built for them. He was not really happy, but he could pretend well enough so that she would not suspect he was unhappy.

"Well, there you are!" She said as she put down the bucket of water she had brought up from the creek.

"Where have you been? I hope that you did not go to the neighborhood again. I asked that you stay close to home. They do not need to know what happens here or that you think you need anyone else other than me! Now gather the logs for the fire and you can set about making the soup for dinner!" She said. She had 'beaten' him by making him doubt his own decisions and his own self. Joshua was no longer secure and strong. She expected him to cut the firewood, make soup and clean the cabin and other things of course. It was if he was chained to something that he could not get away from.

In Seattle, Jason was wondering why he had not heard from Joshua in over a year. When he first left, Joshua would send a telegram once a month just to see how things were going. But the telegrams tapered off to once every two or three months and then none at all. He wondered if he shouldn't go visit. He wondered if Joshua was all right. He was going to visit with Candy and Jeremy and their children tonight for dinner. He thought about asking Jeremy if he wanted to make a little trip to visit their brother. As he was thinking, Jeremy and Candy came to the cabin, they had the baby and Jonathan their son who was about 2 years old now.

"Jason how are you. I know we are having dinner tonight, but Candy said she heard from a friend that Joshua might be in trouble and wants to go visit with him!" Jeremy said as he took the baby out of the carriage. Jason looked at Candy and asked:
"What did you hear?"

"Jason, I am not sure if this person is reliable or not, but she said that Joshua has been really unstable and that he may be having marital problems. I don't know if you have heard anything, but it seems as if it has been such a long time since we have heard from him." Said Candy as she took the baby from Jeremy and went over to sit on a chair on the porch. Jason and Jeremy looked at each other.

"Jason, do you remember when Joshua wanted to try an idea and he ended up coming back to the camp?"

"Yes, I do. He was determined to do what he wanted, and I let him but what has that got to do with what is happening now?" asked Jason, playing with Jonathan.

"Well," Jeremy hesitated to try to get the right words out.

"It-it-it seems as if he ha-ha-has l-l-lo-lost all his d-d-de-det-determination!"

Jason looked at Jeremy and then asked:
"Why do you say that?"

"I-i-I think that if he were still determined like he was before when he went up against you, then he would, he wouldddd, still keep in contact with us?" said Jeremy. Candy nodded her head yes from the porch. Jason mumbled 'hmmm.' And stood there for a moment. Jonathan started to get anxious and wanted to play some more and went over to his mother who gave him one of the baby's toys and he sat on the porch playing with that.

" So, what you are saying is that we need to pay a little visit to see if he is, okay? " Jason asked. Both Candy and Jeremy nodded yes.

"But not just you and me, but all of us?" asked Jason as he looked first at Jeremy and then at Candy, who both nodded yes. "Why?"

Candy spoke up and said:

"Because, if there is something happening, having the children around and me will help you and Jeremy find a way to help Joshua. If not, then it will be a good visit for all of us!" She said as she burped her little girl, Melanie Rose.

A few days later, they all set out on the train to Montana to find Joshua and see if he needed some help.