[Chapter Four]
Unbeknownst to the population of Forks, Renee is currently inhabiting Charlie's attic.
The whole time I can't help but think of what would happen if Charlie decided to go into the attic to find something that has been up there for at least two decades, but instead of him finding an old heirloom he'd find his ex-wife…who also happens to be a vampire now.
She's not dead, but she's not alive anymore, her body is in purgatory, never in one place or the other.
If it weren't for Renee suddenly coming into my life again as a vampire, then I wouldn't think too much about the Cullens and their odd aesthetic.
Yet, it's the opposite, it's with the entrance of Renee that I realize the Cullens must be vampires also. The only difference they have with Renee is the fact that the seven-membered family happens to have golden eyes while Renee has red.
It must have something to do with their diet, Renee drinks humans but the Cullens must be drinking something else.
After another long day where I act oblivious to the vampire teenagers that occupy the same high school as me, I'm exhausted. I'm tired of the fact that I have to put on a show for everyone, to be the oblivious girl that doesn't know much. I'm an observer, plain and simple, without Renee I probably would have found out the Cullens were vampires on my own. Her being one just made it go by faster than I could and still can't process.
I've barely shut the front door closed behind me when a soft conversation from upstairs drifts downstairs. My heart stops as I wonder who it is that Renee is talking to, because it can't be Charlie.
The two voices are feminine, maybe it's one of the Cullen girls that are talking to her? Or maybe Carlisle's wife? I think her name is Esme…
"Renee? Are you okay?"
The conversation upstairs stops and slowly but surely Renee glides down the stairs. There's no sound of her feet even touching the wood, there's no creaking of the stairs. She's almost floating above the stairs, she's so smooth.
It's still quite unnerving, eerie.
Her crimson eyes aren't helping me feel better either, they are just another reminder that this isn't Renee anymore.
This isn't my mom.
My mom died that night.
She had been turned by that nomad vampire; she's not really formed a solid new version of her but she's in the process of doing so. I don't know if her being turned into a vampire will end up being a good thing or if it will just make things even worse for her and me.
My eyes take in on her clothes.
She's wearing a cotton quarter length sleeved sweater that is the color of freshly mowed grass, dark washed jeans that put an emphasis on her hips and butt, along with brown moccasins styled flats. Her caramel hair doesn't move at all when she does, which is another thing that shows she's not a normal person. She has two wedding rings attached to a chain and sits nestled against her chest–right before the dip of her breasts. I'm certain that the rings belong to both her and Phil, now that I think about it.
"Bella, I'm sure you've realized that the Cullens are vampires also. The doctor in town's wife, Esme, has decided to come and visit me. She's offering to become my mentor both in vampirism and in motherhood."
The second figure appears, where a woman with warmer caramel hair than Renee's sits a few inches shorter than hers. She's curvy, but not too thick.
They look like they could pass as sisters as they both stand together.
Only Renee is a few inches taller than Esme.
Esme is wearing a flower printed long sleeve dress that has its skirt resting right above her pale knees. She has on antique 50's inspired cherry red flats that go with the cherry red and navy-blue colors of the dress. They must be from that time period, depending on whether or not she had already been changed into a vampire then or still was human.
The stark contrast between the two women is one of them has red eyes while the other one has golden eyes.
"Hello, Bella. I'm Esme Cullen. I came to visit your mother, when my daughter, Alice, saw her. Just like your mother–"
"Renee. Please, call her Renee. She hasn't earned the right for me to call her mom. In time that might change, or it might not. I would just prefer for it to be professional and not emotional for the time being. I'm still processing the whole existence of vampires," I interrupt, knowing that Charlie would shake his head at me in disappointment both in telling Esme to call Renee by her given name and also interrupting someone while they are talking to me.
Esme lets her eyes flicker towards Renee's, almost as though she's gauging her reaction.
Renee doesn't put up a fight in front of the other mother. She doesn't try to save face, claiming that I've always been a troubling child or that I've always preferred to call her Renee instead of Mom because of some odd behavior pattern I have.
"Bella and I have an agreement. I have until the end of May to prove myself as her mother again, but if I can't then I'll leave her. She won't have to worry about me anymore," Renee remarks, her fingers going up and playing with the rings attached to the chain, the golden bands glimmering from the rays of sunlight that go through the blinds of the windows.
"Renee and I have agreed that it would be best if she would come and stay with me and my family. She'll be around just vampires and we can teach her the proper lifestyle of vampirism. Luckily, we've met her when she's only a month into her diet at most. We can easily have her transfer her diet from humans to animals like us. In about a year's time her eyes will turn from the red color they are to the golden color my family has."
"Speaking of your family…"
I trail off, which in return makes Esme turn her entire attention towards me.
I can tell there's that protectiveness deep in those golden irises of hers.
She has her hands on either side of her but the fingers brush against the fabric of the dress.
She knows that I'm not a danger to her children, if I ever did anything to her then it would mean jeopardizing the lives of Renee (she doesn't deserve to die, well at least now. She's trying to redeem herself) and Charlie.
It could possibly mean my death.
"I'm sure that your family will be good with Renee, but I think that I deserve to meet your family. I already know about you all being vampires, so I already know the most important things about you," I remark, while Renee lets her eyes wander from looking at me to looking at the golden-eyed woman next to her.
The ringing of a phone going off breaks any conversation that Esme will have with me. She pulls out a stylish pink phone and hurries away into the kitchen in order to have a conversation on the other end. I can hear the word, "Alice," but nothing else. She's soon talking to her youngest daughter, the one with the short choppy dark hair and tiny figure.
Groaning, I head over to where the couch is and sit down, throwing my backpack down onto the ground in a loud thud. I bring my hands up and rub my face, groaning some more. The stress that is wrapped around me tightly, never willing to let me go, will probably end up making me have gray or white hair from its presence. I already have enough shit I'm dealing with right now, the last thing I need to deal with is having weird hair because of stress.
The couch dips down, and I almost jolt out of shock a cold hand lands on my shoulder.
I snapped my head towards the person that the hand belongs to and without thinking tears began to cascade down my face at the knowledge that I won't ever feel the warmth of a mother's touch anymore. She is cold, and all I can feel is this marble ice.
A marble headstone that has sleet coating every inch of it.
"Oh, Renee. Look at what they did to you," I can't help but cry, both wanting to wrap my arms around her and also wanting to get up off the couch. I want to get up and head upstairs, tell her to head over to the Cullen House right now because I don't want her staying in this house a minute longer.
Renee opens her mouth, as though she is going to tell me everything is going to be okay.
Yet we know there's no point in asking it when it's obvious everything is not okay.
Nothing is going to be okay ever again.
There's no point in crying over it but I can't help it.
Nothing is going to be the same ever again, my life is at an awkward balance.
With time we will find out if it will balance itself on its own or if it will go tipping over the line.
Crashing and destroying everything in its way, never leaving anything whole.
Esme comes striding into the living room, before she comes over to us.
She sits down onto the coffee table with her legs in the proper position.
I'm certain that Queen Elizabeth the Second would tell her that she's the perfect aristocrat. Maybe she'll think she's a lost noblewoman from the family, because she has this aesthetic about her that would fit that possibility.
"Renee, do you want to come now, or do you want one last night with Bella? I'm okay with either decision."
Esme is patient as she waits for the decision that Renee will make.
She doesn't try to pressure us, instead her eyes flicker around the room.
She takes in the fireplace and my pictures that line the mantle of the fireplace. She notes the stains and striped wallpaper that is throughout the living room. She doesn't make any comments, she's instead intrigued by everything around us. She'd probably say that this has character, and the small smile that curves up against the side of her mouth at that.
"I want her to spend one last night with me. I know that she'll need to focus on being a proper vampire and mother but still. I would like to spend one last night with her," I find myself saying, surprising both of them. Well maybe Renee now that I think about it, Esme has this kind of sweetness about her and happiness in me spending one last night with Renee.
Tears rise in Renee's eyes, never falling, and she sobs before she throws her arms around me.
I can't help but shiver uncontrollably both from emotion and the freezing temperature.
She pulls away from me a moment later, embarrassed at the uncontrollable emotions she had shown to me. She had wanted to be patient with me, but it's obvious that she thinks this is the first step to us reconciling with each other. Maybe it is, but I don't want to think too much about it.
"I'll come pick you up right before Charlie wakes up, until then enjoy your last night together for the time being," Esme says before she leans forward and kisses me on the cheek.
Envy rises upon Renee's face at the blunt sweetness the older vampire has, something that comes natural for her but does not come natural for Renee.
She wishes she could be different; she's determined to be different, and I want to be different with her too. I want us to be the proper mother and daughter, something that might be possible for us.
Better late than never, isn't that what they say?
Esme leaves a moment later, and it's almost like she wasn't here to begin with. There's nothing there to point towards her being there to begin with. Except for the perfume that must be from a different time period and the stronger scent of mint. The trademark smell that humans smell when it comes to vampires in order to draw us towards them.
Charlie comes home when it starts getting dark outside, Renee is in my bedroom with me.
She's looking through the books that are on the floating shelves for them. She isn't that big of a bookworm, even though she had joined a book club years ago (that didn't last long, not even a month). She's got all the time in the world, and she scoops up one of the books from the shelf. I almost find it amusing when she happens to pull Wuthering Heights from the shelf, it's my favorite book and that's probably when she had chosen it to read first.
Neither of us is paying attention to the sound of Charlie coming up the stairs and heading in our direction.
We turn our attention towards the sight of Charlie standing in the open doorway with tears flowing down his face. He's shaking, overcome with emotion. One of his hands comes up and is out and in front of him. Stretched out towards her, helplessly hoping that she will come towards him and touch him. He's waited seventeen years for her to be in this house again, and the sight of her even more beautiful than before breaks his heart.
"R-Renee? You've come back for me."
Renee is sitting in my rocking chair, her own eyes widened at what is happening. She can't believe what she is seeing, what he herself is feeling. She barely is processing what is happening when Charlie starts tipping backwards, only for her to catch him with her vampiric speed and strength. He's passed out, and she looks down at him with marvel.
She looks up at me and whispers, "Bella…sweetie…vampires have mates. Their perfect companion. It turns out your father is my mate."
My mouth falls open at what she says.
Even I can't process what is happening, since Renee had been the one who had run away.
Renee was the one who had decided she didn't want to be with Charlie. She had left him heartbroken, but he had always been hopeful she would return. The moment she does return it turns out she's a vampire and he happened to be her mate. They won't be separated anymore.
Renee carries Charlie into his bedroom, her eyes becoming sad when she sees that everything is the same as before. Her jewelry box cabinet stand she had been eyeing at the store only for him to buy her is still in the corner of the room. The bedspread is one of her favorite colors, along with the curtains on the window. A photograph of them on La Push First Ocean Beach while Renee is pregnant with me in black and white takes center stage on the left wall, with other photographs from his family members lining all sides of the pregnancy picture.
"He really did wait for me, didn't he?" Renee probes, her angelic and sweet voice that is a reminder of her inhumanity. She turns and looks at me after she has laid him down on the bedspread and reaches her hand up, running her fingers through his balding hair.
"He never stopped. It's a twist of irony how he ended up being your soulmate."
Renee turns and looks at me, sending me a look that lets me know she doesn't like the irony in my voice. She doesn't say anything. She instead sits on the bed and seems as though she's done conversing with me. She's more interested in waiting for Charlie to wake up. I'm not insulted by it; I know I would do the same thing if I were in the same situation as her.
I leave the room and crack the door to give them privacy before heading back to my own bedroom. Wuthering Heights is on the ground from where Renee had dropped it in shock at the sight of her first husband. I sigh and walk over there, scooping up the book from the ground. I'm surprised when I notice that there is a little divot on the ground. Renee doesn't know the strength she has currently, even a little over a month later.
Two hours after Charlie passes out, I can hear the conversation that is going on in the room next to me. I don't go over to the cracked bedroom door, instead I go downstairs to where the kitchen is. I'm still finding the kitchen depressing even now, a month into March. It's quite a reminder how things turned out, a sad attempt on Renee trying to do something in order to want to stay in this house only for her to leave and let it slowly go away.
Pulling out the leftovers from the other night, the Vegetarian Lasagna that I had found on the internet, I dump some onto a plate and put it into the microwave. I close the door and put in the proper time before starting it, which in return lights up the inside and the plate in the middle of the inside begins to do its circular motion. The humming is both comforting and annoying at the same time.
Clearing of a throat behind me makes me turn around, where I see Charlie standing in the doorway with his hand up. He rubs the nape of his neck and behind him Renee is sitting on the couch. He needs more time processing this. I don't know if Renee has told him about the whole being mates thing, since it's already overwhelming enough that Renee is a vampire now.
"Can you make me a plate of that? I didn't get a good lunch today, it was kind of busy," Charlie states, earning a nod from me. I soon make his own plate and put it into the microwave after mine is done. The same process begins again.
The kitchen chair he always uses is pulled back, scraping against the linoleum flooring. I flinch at the sound and wait for the unnecessary conversation to happen between him and me. I know that it's not going to happen right now, maybe, but it's going to eventually happen in the future.
I pick up the metallic fork sitting next to the simple eggshell hued plate and begin to twirl the lasagna around on the plate. Some pieces of my bangs fall in front of my face, and I push them behind my ears even though it's a lost cause. They will fall in front of my eyes in a minute. A never-ending cycle, if I don't do the proper thing and pin the pieces back.
"How long did you know?"
I don't want to answer him, I want to tell him that it's best if he doesn't know how long I've been keeping the secret from him.
Yet I know it would be wrong of me to do so, I'm certain that Renee laid out all that happened to her to him. I'm sure that he knows about everything there is about vampires, well as much as Renee knows.
It just makes me feel like neither of us deserved to be going through what's happening now.
Things wouldn't be so complicated if vampires didn't exist.
They do though, and they come in the form of the Cullens and Renee.
I don't know which is worse, having a family of vampires living here or having my mom who is presumed dead already coming here as a vampire. Both of them are things that we don't deserve to be going through, we already have enough of a complicated relationship with each other.
So, after taking a deep breath I tell him all I know while trekking cautiously. I try not to show too much emotion to him. I try to keep my emotions in check. There's no need to show all the complicated feelings I'm going through. I'm certain he would do the same thing if he were in my position, and I was the one finding out that Renee is a recently turned vampire.
I'm stirring the lasagna again now, and I'm not hungry.
To be honest, I wasn't hungry before, but I still made the food. I'm still going through the motions. I'm still trying to grasp what is going on. I'd be losing my mind if I didn't. I need to keep my wits about me, and if it means playing with my food then so be it.
"Renee told me she's going to be with the Cullens…I guess I shouldn't be surprised that they are vampires too. It doesn't mean anything, they are still good people," Charlie states, as he scoops up some of the lasagna and takes a bite.
I smile at him, it's not that big but it's enough that lets him know I'm glad he thinks the Cullens are good people. I still don't know that much about the Cullens, Edward introduced himself properly the day before I had been almost hit by Tyler's van. He and I don't really talk that much, only during Biology and it's always about the subject. Now I'm certain that things will be completely different since Renee is a vampire and I know him, and the rest of his family are vampires.
"Yeah…I don't really talk to Edward except in Biology and even then, it's always about the subject. Things are going to be different with me and him along with his siblings. I don't know how things are going to be, but I know that Mom will be okay," I remark, knowing that I can't call her by her first name when I'm in the presence of Charlie.
I almost drop the fork after I've taken a bite when Renee appears in the doorway.
She's still so beautiful, as though she's a statue of a goddess come to life.
She comes over and stands next to Charlie, and for a moment it's like my parents are still married. Charlie glances up at Renee and he's in marvel at how she's standing in the kitchen she had left seventeen years ago. Although his eyes become sad when he notices she has the wedding rings of her and Phil in a chain around her neck. She just killed Phil, it's not like she can suddenly switch that off and become the proper mate of Charlie instantly.
By the time I wake up the next morning, Renee is gone. She left without saying goodbye to me, but the scent of mint still is in the air around me. I sigh as I curl on my side, still processing the fact that not only I'm being given a second chance of having a mother in Renee but also Renee and Charlie are being given a second chance.
Things work in mysterious ways. I can only hope these things will be good for us.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I originally was not going to have Renee mated to anyone. After some reviews thinking of Renee and Charlie being mates, I decided to go ahead and do that. I was writing naturally and decided, if I didn't like how the chapter turned out during editing then at least I gave it a chance. Well, here it is, and I'm quite proud of how I am displaying their relationship. Anyway, I hope you liked the latest chapter. Twilight doesn't belong to me.
-it'semmynotemma
ps: my writing process is doing an outline. Each chapter has a summary of what I'm going to focus the chapter on. Even the Twilight Saga, I had sat down and described important details such as Bella's bedroom and the front office at the school. I made sure to write all details that would help me write the fanfictions easier.