Summary: Lucifer and Chloe have a talk that makes him doubt himself; Michael returns but is still dealing with the after-effects of his interaction with his father.
Lucifer was not usually an impatient person. Time didn't affect him the way it did mortals. He was used to long passages flowing by him in swathes that left him mostly unchanged. Conversely, he'd also found that there were eventful years that could completely upend who he was. He was finding his latest jaunt on Earth was the latter. Michael's current absence was another in those highly effective recent events that was leaving him hyperaware of time.
It didn't help that he still could not figure out the time difference between his universe and Mom's. Time moved faster there, so it would stand to reason that not much time should pass in his universe before Michael got back. However, time was relative and not altogether linear, so when the day ended and none of his siblings had yet returned, he had to will himself to push away any lingering anxieties.
The time dilation between the two universes was a mess, that was all. Nothing else had happened to the angels he had sent on this mission. Michael had promised he'd return and he wasn't lying, at least he had believed his own words, so he would come back. Lucifer just had to have faith in him.
He went to bed and fell into a fitful slumber, his mind periodically conjuring up nightmares of all that could've happened. When he woke up the next morning, it was to an empty penthouse. It felt strange. He hadn't been alone in months. He could count on Michael's presence, whether it was pottering around the kitchen or painting by the balcony doors or sipping hot chocolate and eating brownies on the couch. Before that, the Detective and/or the urchin would've been around or Mazikeen might've popped by for a visit early as sin. Now, it was just him.
He bit his lip, unnerved by the prospect for a moment before he looked at the black feather sitting on his nightstand. He picked it up and ran his fingers over it. Michael had made a promise and he would keep it. He was coming back and once he did, they could move past Dad. They could start planning their future without having to worry about Him or His machinations, they could figure out what Michael wanted to be and do outside of their father's influence and they would hammer out details on renewing their nestmateship.
Lucifer allowed a smile to alight his lips. He hadn't been expecting Michael to state that those were his intentions. Lucifer hadn't consciously thought of it, though now that he looked back, he could see that his actions were those of courting potential nestmates. He had just wanted to show his brother that they could rebuild trust between them, that Lucifer cared about him and wanted to help him find himself again. He was glad the message got across and that they were both on the same page in wanting to make sure they spent the rest of their lives bonded together. Without Dad around, it wouldn't be as fraught as it was before. Though it wouldn't be without difficulty, not with Lucifer's new role in the Host and Michael's history.
Plus, there was Chloe.
He sighed to himself. He might've been avoiding the detective just a little. He didn't want to get into another argument that would hurt her. Plus, he had been focused on making sure Michael's trip was as safe as possible but now he had time to think. Chloe still didn't want to even entertain the idea of Michael being redeemable let alone not the evil dick she had known him to be. Lucifer understood the reason behind her reticence and he didn't want to push, but the situation was only going to get more complicated. Being nestmates was a lifelong union. Michael would be as much of a partner to Lucifer as Chloe was. Their roles in his life would be different given the nature of their bonds, but his nestmateship with his twin would be just as much of a committed relationship. He was going to have to tell Chloe about this. She deserved to know and he was going to have to accept the likely adverse reaction she would have to it.
The reactions of the Host would probably be mixed as well. They had always viewed the twins' relationship differently even among the closest of nestmates. They were criticized as putting their bond and promises to each other over their oaths to their Heavenly Father. It went against the instinct of an angel and made the twins both a source of curiosity and scorn. That wouldn't be an issue this time seeing as how he was God, but there was still the Michael of it all and his lack of popularity.
He seemed to have the respect of the majority of the Seraphim, Cherubim and lesser angels. He had been more gracious towards the lesser orders of angels than their siblings had been. The lesser orders were treated as tools and beings who only lived to serve a purpose by not just their father but the higher orders of the Host as well. Despite Father's commands, Michael had given them more leniency and agency when he was in control of the City and so they viewed him with less derision.
Sentiments were much more hostile among archangels. There were few like Gabe, Raphael, Duma and Cass who had genuine affection and care for Michael. Most were like Sandalphon, Ibriel and Lezmegadiel who loathed Michael's existence for one reason or another. Some of the rancor seemed to be based on jealousy, some on their intolerance to his Fear, for things their father had made Michael do or for systems and norms set forth by Dad that Michael received the brunt of the criticism for. There were a few like Saraqael and Jophiel who were neutral for the most part. Lucifer was charismatic enough to convince them to come around and now that Michael's true personality was getting a chance to shine through, they could get to know him without any of the extenuating circumstances that existed before. The fact that he had his full, healthy wings back, showing that he was not fallen or divinely disgraced could only help.
Still, now that Michael was definitely staying, Lucifer would have to get things in order for him. He'd have to call his people about getting Michael identification papers proving he existed. He'd also need to make a bank account for him and transfer funds over so he wouldn't have to always depend on Lucifer for money.
Michael was pretty adamant that he didn't want to return to the Silver City any time soon. Lucifer understood why and even though he would've liked to have Michael around upstairs to assist him with taming the ungainly beast, he didn't want him somewhere that would have adverse effects on his mental health. If any of their siblings wanted to see him, they could come down and visit so long as they gave fair warning and Michael agreed to see them beforehand.
Lucifer wasn't sure if Michael would want a job on Earth. He deserved a break from working but angels notoriously didn't do well without some perceived purpose or duty to perform. Idle hands do the Devil's work and all that. Although, that wasn't such a bad idea. Michael had been helping out with the paperwork at Lux unofficially since Lucifer was not the best at keeping on top of it and his manager was on maternity leave so she wasn't there to pick up the slack. Michael had offered to do some rudimentary bookkeeping and already discovered Lucifer's taxes were a mess and promptly set them to rights with minimal grumbling about his twin's inability to do basic paperwork correctly. Lucifer could talk to him and see if he wanted to take over the role officially or not. He had already had the roof renovated for Michael's garden and his painting but if he wanted more space, the floor beneath the penthouse was empty and Michael could repurpose it for whatever he wanted if he so chose.
He'd need more social interaction as well. Lucifer didn't want him to feel isolated. Raphael, Gabriel, Amenadiel, Cassiel and Duma were planning to come over more often to see him. There was Charlie and Linda as well. But he needed friends, not just family. All of Lucifer's employees at Lux had taken to Michael quickly. He had chosen his staff well and made sure to employ people whose souls were mostly light. Patrick was friendly with everyone and the girls had already been interacting with Michael by introducing him to meditation and exchanging books and recipes. Michael had even shown them his garden, which was a major step for him. Miss Lopez would also be a wonderful addition to Michael's life if he could somehow arrange for them to meet. Lucifer was certain she'd be her usual bubbly self and wouldn't impose any undue expectations or preconceived notions on his brother and she would be a breath of fresh air for Michael.
Mazikeen… well, Lucifer wasn't sure about that. She had been a partner in crime to Michael when he was still working on Dad's plan. She was upset after what happened to Dan and Chloe but she was currently away with Eve and hadn't spoken to Lucifer since she left. He didn't know where she stood with Michael, or him for that matter. She could either hate their guts or just be mildly annoyed with them. Hard to say.
He decided to leave that to the side. He would focus on getting things set up for Michael first and then worry about getting him a social life later.
He got out of bed, quickly showered and dressed for the day before going out to the kitchen and cooking himself some breakfast while going over what he should do today. It would only take a phone call to get the ball rolling on Michael's papers, Lux's staff knew what to do with minimal input from him and the Silver City was still currently standing, though Lucifer decided he would spend his day there anyway.
He still needed to keep a close eye on Sandalphon and his ilk, though there didn't seem to be much support for his moron younger brother. Michael's advice proved useful. Most of the angels just needed a task and a few basic instructions. The Prince of Heaven had kept the trains moving so smoothly that his siblings and the other angels knew what they were meant to do. Lucifer didn't bother being a dictator and while he wasn't going to tolerate any coups or attacks against his person, he did want to encourage some more independent thinking amongst his family. Freewill wasn't a concept he was planning to abandon just because he sat on the throne. There were a few complaints from his light-handed philosophy here and there. Jophiel in particular was garnering quite the swell of ire after he'd turned part of his nest into a strip club and invited some of the more vivacious mortal souls to visit, but the Silver City wasn't a burnt-out ruin (yet), which was good because Lucifer had a lot more changes in mind.
He was pulled from his thoughts by the elevator dinging. He moved towards the living room and paused when he saw it was Chloe stepping off cautiously.
"Detective, what are you doing here," he greeted with surprise.
The blonde stopped about twenty feet away from him, quirking an eyebrow in response.
"Can't I visit my boyfriend at his place?"
"I didn't mean it like that. I'm happy to see you. It's just that you haven't come here on your own since…"
"Since you decided to make your psycho twin brother your roommate?"
Lucifer's jaw ticked in reply.
"Formerly psychotic and that's a very loose description. He's not the man you met before."
Chloe's lips pursed at that.
A heavy silence stretched between them, silence that wasn't a feature of their relationship in a long time but lately had been a staple. Lucifer hated that it had come to this and he felt woefully impotent when it came to bridging the gap. He took a few steps towards her but took note of the distance she was still putting between them.
"You paint now? You can barely draw a convincing stick figure."
He was briefly confused by the non sequitur before glancing in the direction where she was looking. One of Michael's canvases was left to dry on the balcony before he went away. It was a surrealist painting of the city but the streets were replaced with what was clearly Hell's terrain while the sky had faded depictions of the Silver City's architecture. Lucifer decided it was best not to read into it.
"No, that was Mi. Art is his gift much more than mine, that and paperwork. He's actually managed to fix my taxes if you can believe that."
"Mi…? Michael, right. So you guys are already at the nickname phase. Good to know."
"Chloe—"
"Is it even safe for me to be here," she asked, clearly upset.
"He's not here."
She visibly relaxed and finally moved closer to him.
"Amenadiel mentioned something about him going away."
Lucifer tensed slightly at the reminder and couldn't keep the surge of momentary anxiety at bay.
"He's with Dad."
"Is that wise? Last time those two were together, it didn't end well for any of us."
"I've made sure Dad can't place any Divine Commands on Michael while he's there and he has no intention of blindly doing Dad's bidding anymore."
Chloe's lips twisted unhappily then.
"'While he's there'. So, he's coming back?"
"That's the plan, yes."
Chloe scoffed in reply.
"Any chance I can be let in on what exactly the plan is here, Lucifer? Because last time I checked, it was for him to stay in Hell for everything that he's done. Now, all of a sudden, it's like you've forgotten what he did to us, like you're okay with it, like you're alright with Dan dying, with me dying."
"I'm not alright with it, but it's not that simple."
"It seems pretty simple to me. He's getting away with everything he did. And I don't want to hear about what your Dad did to him. Your father's not innocent in this, but He wasn't the one who stabbed me in that arena, that was Michael."
"And he was punished for it."
"He spent a month in Hell and then he got a get out of jail free card. That's hardly a punishment."
"That's where you're wrong. Time doesn't move the same downstairs. What was weeks for us was centuries for him. Hundreds of years doing nothing but fruitlessly scrubbing a floor that would never be clean with open wounds festering on his back and his mind breaking under the strain of his guilt and self-hatred. Regardless of our differing opinions on his culpability, he's paid for his crimes, much more than Dad has. I didn't just promise Michael vengeance in that arena, I promised him a second chance. He can't get that second chance if I stick him in some dark forgotten corner of Hell to never be seen again. I may be a hypocrite but I'm not a liar. Please don't ask me to become one."
"Am I supposed to believe that he has no ulterior motives? He's just, what? Lounging around here all day, painting on the balcony and doing your taxes? He's manipulating you, that's what he does. You told me that and I saw it for myself. He's playing you, putting on some act of being reformed and you're falling for it."
"I know when I'm being manipulated and this isn't that. You haven't seen him, how hard this has been for him, the struggle Linda and I have had just to get him to a place where he believes he deserves to live let alone that he didn't deserve to be Dad's punching bag."
"Well, boo-hoo for him. Let me break out a violin for the guy who almost made my daughter an orphan."
Lucifer sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.
"You have every right to your anger and hatred, I can't take that from you and there's nothing I can say to make this right for you or him. It shouldn't be like this. You should've gotten to know him as he really is, not that cartoon villain Dad made him act like. I can't change that experience and I don't want to put you in a position where you have to deal with him when you're not ready."
Or for him to have to deal with you, he thought but didn't say.
"If you know what this is doing to me, why are you still doing it?"
"I can't bring myself to deliberately hurt him again. I mutilated my own twin brother in a fit of rage and I thought I was right for months. And it's far from the first time I've hurt him intentionally. My list of transgressions against him and others are long and storied and I wasn't under any orders from God when I committed them."
"So, what? All of this is some twisted manifestation of guilt? Because if it is, I've got to say, I prefer the Devil face to this."
"This isn't just down to guilt, though I have plenty of reasons to feel it. I care about what happens to Michael because he's my brother and I love him."
Chloe stared at him both with confusion and as if she didn't recognize him.
"I don't get it. I honestly don't understand where this is coming from. I mean, how much did it take for you to tell me you love me? I don't think you've even told Amenadiel or Mazikeen that you love them despite everything you all have been through together and they haven't pulled half the shit that Michael has. How can you say you love a monster like him," she asked, genuinely astonished.
"None of us are innocent. Michael, Mazikeen, Amenadiel and I have lived much too long for our hands to still be clean but none of us are monsters either, and that includes Michael. He's never been a monster. He's not the evil twin or my crooked shadow or some remorseless murderer. Michael, the real Michael, is good to his core. He likes painting and drawing and reading. He's got a sweet tooth and thinks anything that costs more than $15 is ludicrous. He likes paperwork because he finds routines soothing. He loves gardening because he's an Angel of Creation and enjoys protecting life. That's what he did before Dad got to him. Even when he was His Sword and Commander of the armies, anything he did was to protect other people. Dad twisted his purpose so Michael would do his dirty work for Him. He became a pawn, a tool for Dad to move as He saw fit, a weapon for Him to wield, His ultimate victim that He abused for far longer than He did any of the rest of us. Michael finally has a chance to get better away from Dad, how could I not do everything in my power to facilitate that?"
"But why does it have to be you? You have so many other siblings that could deal with him. He doesn't have to be here. Why can't he go back to Heaven?"
"Dad trapped him there for eons. I'm not just going to send him back to some place that holds such awful memories for him. He wouldn't want to be trapped in Heaven any more than I would want to be trapped in Hell. Besides, I can't trust most of my siblings with him and he won't do well on his own. Despite my best efforts and regardless of the progress he's made, Michael is still hurting. I know that you are too. I don't know how to fix that. I'm sorry, I wish I did. I know I'm God and I'm supposed to have the answers, but I don't."
"It's not just hurtful, it's infuriating. You don't have to help him. He doesn't deserve it. Even if I were to believe that he was just following your Dad's orders when he breezed in and ruined our lives, how can you believe there's a possibility of redemption for him after everything he did? He impersonated you, kidnapped me, tried to convince Dan to kill you, he got Dan killed, he killed me and made you kill yourself. Before that, he made you rebel against your father and banished you to Hell. How can you just absolve him when every bad thing in your life happened as a result of him? He had a choice. He could've disobeyed your father. That choice might've been a difficult one, but if he had cared about you as much as you think you care about him, he would've done it. And maybe he would've died, but if your Dad was planning for him to die the whole time, what difference would it have made? At least he would've spared all of us the pain he knew he would cause us. So I don't accept the excuse that he was just following your Dad's 'Divine Commands'. As far as I'm concerned, you should've cut his head off, not just his wings. We would've been much better off."
Lucifer physically recoiled at that.
"Do you honestly think I would've been alright after killing my brother? Even if I didn't know all that had truly transpired, do you think I would've been able to ride off into the sunset with you without a care in the world after that?"
"Why not? Is all this any better," Chloe asked desperately.
Lucifer opened his mouth to answer but closed it again, realizing there was nothing he could say that wasn't going to fan the flames of the strife between them.
Chloe sighed heavily, swiping a hand over her wet eyes.
"I came here to talk about us but lately any conversation about us inevitably leads back to Michael and we just keep having the same argument over and over again. I want to be done with him, but as long as the two of you are doing… whatever the hell this is, that's not possible, is it? Maybe there's nothing left to talk about."
Lucifer felt his heart constrict in his chest.
"What does that mean?"
"I… I don't know. I'm just tired of talking about him. I want to go back to our life before I ever knew he existed."
A part of him wished to say the same. He had wanted Chloe before he even let himself admit that was what he wanted, of course he wished that they were in a better place in their relationship. Before any of Dad's plan was enacted, he was still in Hell dealing with the uprising but there was a chance he could've come back within Chloe's lifetime sans Dad's machinations and he and Chloe could've worked things out without all the extra drama. They could've been happy. But if everything hadn't happened, Michael would still be with Dad, suffering through abuse and manipulation and cruelty by himself. Lucifer would've never known and he wouldn't have ever gotten the chance to get his twin back. As much as he wished he and Chloe were not going through this rough patch, he couldn't find it in himself to want that happiness with the detective back in exchange for blissful ignorance towards Michael's anguish.
"I'm going to say something against my better judgement. I think I already know the answer, but I need to say it anyway. If I asked you to choose us, what would your answer be?"
"Choose us," Lucifer repeated, not totally understanding her meaning.
"I think Michael deserves to be rotting in a Hell loop for the rest of eternity, letting his own rotten soul rip him apart, but clearly that's not something you can accept. Heaven is apparently not good enough for him either. So, he could stay on Earth but he would stay with Amenadiel and Linda. They forgive him, they can deal with him. You won't have to feel guilty. Linda can help him rehabilitate just like she helped you. Amenadiel will be around if he needs family so badly. You and I would move on, figure our shit out and never have to see or hear from him again. If I asked for that, begged even, would you say yes?"
Lucifer closed his eyes in response, unable to keep staring at the desperate hope in Chloe's eyes.
"No. I'm sorry. I can't leave him behind again."
Another long silence stretched between them before Chloe spoke again.
"So what is your plan here?"
Lucifer's heart clenched again at the heartbroken tone in her voice but he sighed and steeled himself.
"Michael and I have been talking about becoming nestmates again."
Chloe's brows scrunched.
"What does that mean?"
"Nestmates among angels are a relationship that involves a close emotional connection beyond what most people consider friendship. Nestmates share rooms in the Silver City of course, but the bond is one of mutual respect, trust, validation. There are structures and norms that a more closed-minded human might associate with a conventional romantic relationship but it's not the same. However, there is an explicit lifelong commitment involved."
"A lifelong commitment," she repeated flatly.
"Yes."
"And I'm supposed to fit in where exactly?"
"Angels were balancing romantic relationships and nestmateships easily when Dad allowed it. The two aren't mutually exclusive."
"Except that this isn't just any angel, this is Michael. I'm meant to be okay with sharing the life I want us to build together with your murderous twin as well?"
"If Dad hadn't interfered, he would've always been here. I know I haven't talked about this with you. Honestly, I didn't want to before because it hurt too much to think about, but Michael and I didn't always hate each other or were trying to kill each other, though I know I made it seem that way. We used to be close, closest among all our siblings. Even among nestmates, we were unique. We're two halves of the Demiurge which means we literally share a soul. We are part of each other. We fought at times, usually fights that I started, but it was just spats any pair of siblings might get into. Right after our creation we spent eons alone, just the two of us, doing Dad's bidding in the Void. Before all this, before Dad's plans and schemes, before Hell and Heaven became the concepts you know them as, before Humanity existed, before what you consider reality even existed, there was me and there was Michael. I had lovers and partners come and go, siblings that were created and destroyed, parents whose attention waxed and waned, but he was the one constant through it all. Before you, he was the one I was building my life around and then Dad ruined that for no reason that I can discern other than He felt like it. Millions of years later, I'm standing in that coliseum with centuries of selfishness and egoism and cruelty behind me, judging him on his worst mistakes and doing to him just what Dad did to me. Come to find out those mistakes weren't even his choice. At least my punishment was for "crimes" I willfully committed because despite what he may have said and what I initially let myself believe, I rebelled because I chose to, not because of Michael's machinations. My actions got several of my siblings and other angels killed. I have done things I could never bring myself to tell you because I know you would look at me with the same look you get on your face when you think of Michael. Although maybe I should tell you. Maybe you should know all of me, the me I've tried so hard to keep away from you."
"You are not like him," Chloe protested.
"I am exactly like him. No, I'm worse because I chose to do the horrid things I did. I killed my siblings, directly and indirectly. I turned a blind eye to people being hurt and actively hurt people. I sanctioned the torture of souls in Hell even when I knew that there were those who didn't deserve to be there. I let my own mother be tortured and I didn't care. I've slaughtered beings in droves with no remorse afterwards. My other face, self-actualized or not, exists because for most of my life I was that monster inside. All I did was make the outside reflect that. You saw a glimpse of that when you first met me. Would you be with me now if I was still the man I was when we first met?"
"But you changed. You're not that person anymore."
"Because you believed in me. You made me want to be a better person. If I didn't have you and Linda and the others surrounding me, making me want to change and grow, I never would've. If you believe I can change, can you not believe that Michael can too?"
Chloe appeared to be sincerely debating the idea within herself before she closed her eyes.
"I… I can't, Lucifer. I just… I can't. I think of him and all that goes through my mind is Dan burning in Hell when he should be here, Trixie crying herself to sleep night after night. I have nightmares of him driving that stake through my body and you burning and dying. I lost nearly everything in that arena and it was because of Michael. And I know what you said, I don't want to rehash the argument of what your Dad did and didn't do. I just… I'm not in a place where I can forgive him let alone give him a chance."
His heart wrenched as he saw a tear slip down Chloe's face.
"Where does that leave us," he asked with trepidation.
"Are you sure that this is what you want? You want Michael in your life," Chloe asked in lieu of answering the question.
"Yes, I do. But I want you too. Is that something you can be okay with?"
"I don't know, Lucifer. Maybe one day. What I do know is that you and I have been through too much for me to let Michael rip us apart any more than I've already let him. I'm not going to let this be the end of us, but I need space and time to process. Can you be okay with that?"
"Of course, detective. Yes, whatever you need."
Chloe nodded in response. Lucifer watched her turn to go but she paused before turning back to him. Lucifer didn't move as she walked up to him and pulled him into a kiss. He felt a flash of heat and the upheaval that had been roiling inside of him settled for a moment as he returned the kiss. He didn't want it to end but much sooner than he would've liked, Chloe pulled back and rested her forehead against his, sharing his space for a quiet moment.
"I'll call you when I'm ready."
Lucifer wordlessly nodded and watched her turn away, head into the elevator and leave.
The second she was gone, it felt like a weight had settled on his chest and he found himself collapsing onto his couch, exhaustion coating his bones.
He had no clue where he was meant to go from here.
Lucifer retreated to the Silver City almost immediately after Chloe left. Michael still wasn't back yet and now he needed the distraction of work more than ever. Council meetings weren't the most fun in the world, but at least putting out whatever little fires brewed between the Host kept his mind off of his interaction with Chloe.
He had been mostly confident that what he was doing with Michael was right, but after seeing Chloe so hurt, he was doubting himself. He did not want to be the one causing this pain, especially when she was still struggling with Dan's death and her own trauma from the arena. He had been neglecting her in favor of caring for Michael because his brother had needed him more but Chloe had needed him as well and he hadn't been there for her. The guilt of it was making him wonder if he was what Michael needed. He was holding on to him for mostly selfish reasons. He didn't want to feel the pain that would result from losing him again, but his actions were putting them in a situation where both Chloe and Michael were hurting so maybe he should back off. He had asked to leave before, though Lucifer wasn't willing to entertain the options given. Michael had also made it clear he wanted to stay with him too, but how could he be sure his brother wasn't still just trying to fulfill his God's desires?
These worries weren't new, but he was able to ignore them before this morning. Now, they were crowding in and making him doubt everything he had done in regard to Michael these past few months. If he could be so willfully blind and ignorant towards Chloe's pain, whose to say he won't do the same to Michael somewhere down the line? He had done it to him before, he could do it again without even meaning to. He didn't mean to hurt Chloe but he did. Maybe Michael would be better off with Linda and Amenadiel. Linda would continue being his therapist, Amenadiel could continue growing into the role of big brother for him and Charlie would be there to provide a pure light of warmth and love. Those were all things Michael sorely needed that Lucifer couldn't give him anyway.
Lucifer ended the Council Meeting with his siblings early when it became clear his thoughts weren't going to settle for long. Besides, Saraqael was a few seconds from stabbing Jophiel for yet another less than pious scheme he'd enacted involving an impromptu chariot race through the streets of the Silver City.
He did not want to go back to Earth yet but he didn't fancy being hounded about any more petty squabbles amongst his siblings. He suddenly had an idea and began walking through the halls confidently until he reached a familiar door. He pushed it open and looked around the room.
The old nest that he had shared with Michael looked like it was frozen in time. Lucifer had left it behind when he had been pulling away from his twin, decades ahead of the Rebellion. When he left, he hadn't taken anything with him and had figured that Michael would've thrown everything they'd collected away. One look at the room proved him wrong.
On Lucifer's side, his harp was still where he left it as well as all his swords and his armor. His shelves were full of the keepsakes he'd hoarded over the years: things he'd made that he held in high esteem, pretty and shiny things he'd found in Creation and gifts from Michael.
Michael's side had a similar collection of assorted items and looked mostly untouched, like he had been as absent from the space as Lucifer despite remaining in the Silver City. It was clear Michael had not spent time inside their nest since the Rebellion and left the space frozen.
It was painfully nostalgic to step inside. Lucifer had been overcome with emotions the first time he visited to get Michael's art supplies. They had been so young and they had made this room a reflection of themselves as individuals and nestmates. Michael's side had a full library with all the books he could want, Lucifer's had an array of instruments he'd mastered. Michael's paintings decorated the walls and pillows with both of their feathers littered their bed. He could still feel their shared divinity in the air, though that might've been a creation of his mind.
He stepped over to the shelves, searching for a specific memento. He hadn't seen them when he came for the canvases but they could only be here. The shelves turned up nothing so he started opening their drawers, searching among the clothes and paraphernalia for his prize. He opened the last drawer, expecting to come up empty but among Michael's old tunics sat a small ornate box. He pulled it out and cracked it open to look inside. Nestled on a small satin pillow were identical rings. The design was simple, a silver sunburst on a black field of onyx. Lucifer pulled them both out and looked at the words inscribed on the silver bands. One read inter lux, tenebris aeterna while the other read inter tenebris, lux aeterna. In light, darkness eternal and in darkness, light eternal.
The two of them had exchanged the rings on the day Michael went to the front lines to fight against Chaos, leaving Lucifer behind, the first time they would be separated for a significant period of time. They had both been anxious about the separation as well as the War and the dangers it would bring.
"I don't like this, Mi," Samael felt the need to tell his brother as he watched him make his final preparations.
"I know it will be strange. We haven't been apart for this long since our creation, but that couldn't last forever, right? Not with the plans Father has made," Mikael said in an attempt to quell his misgivings.
"Why has He suddenly decided now that we need to have titles, hmm? Having dominions is one thing but why do you have to be His Sword and why do I have to be the Silver City's Lightbringer?"
"If it's any consolation, I think your new title suits you far better than mine suits me. I can't help this place the way you can. Mother believes that building up the Silver City before the war ends will boost morale, make it seem like our victory is all but assured. Our family needs light and only you can provide it."
"Our victory is not assured then?"
Mikael paused before answering.
"Our enemy is strong but not invincible. It may take time, but we will beat them back across the cursed veil from which they spawned."
"I don't care about that."
"You don't mean that. Of course you care."
"Why should I?"
"They are a threat to our existence. You heard what Father said. They could end reality as we know it. They are a danger to our family and so we must stand against them. We have no choice."
"That I understand. What I don't is why we cannot fight them side-by-side as we have every other supposedly insurmountable enemy Father has thrown us at. No other nestmates are being separated to fight this war. Remiel and Amenadiel will be fighting together at the front. So will Sandalphon and Metatron, Azrael and Camuel, Jophiel and Ezekiel, Saraqael and Muriel, Esrafil and Jehudiel, Azazel and Tamiel, need I go on?"
"Father knows they will fight best together. It makes sense not to separate them on a battlefield."
"It's not just those on the battlefield because Phanuel and Uriel get to stay here together among other mate pairs. Why are we the only ones being torn apart? We're both half of the Demiurge, if it makes more sense for other nestmates to fight together, then that goes double for us. Why can't we just stay as we are if that's what we prefer?"
Mikael briefly appeared disturbed at Samael's arguments, as if he agreed, but once again he rallied and found words to defend their Father's position.
"We won't be using our Demiurgic powers. It's a battlefield, there's nothing to create. It'll all be about destruction and we both know that I can handle it better than you can. You're better off here."
"I can fight too, even if not as well as you. Bloody Lezmegadiel and Hanjobadiel are going. When's the last time either of them defeated me in a fight?"
"Mother and Father have given orders. We're at war, Sammy. I'm sure They're doing what They think is best."
"And if They say to do something, then obey we must," he retorted bitterly.
"I've told you about that. Talk like that is fine between the two of us in the Void where none of our siblings are likely to overhear, but you mustn't let anyone catch you speaking so in the Silver City. I won't be here to cover for you. I don't want you getting yourself into trouble while I'm gone."
"You're leaving me, so you don't get to make demands of my behavior."
A flash of hurt crossed Mikael's eyes before he hid it quickly.
"I'm not going because I want to. It's necessary for everyone. As much as I would like to stay here and remain as we have been, I cannot do so if I know my purpose and abilities are better served elsewhere."
"What if you don't come back," Samael asked, his fear clear in his voice.
"Father has named me Sword for a reason. I'm good at fighting, you know that. I can handle myself."
"This isn't just a sparring match or a battle against a single beast, this is an entire army."
"And I won't be alone. I'll have an army of our siblings at my back. I could ask for no better. Besides, I want to see the look on Amenadiel's face when he realizes that he has to take orders from me. It's rare anyone gets one up on Dad's favorite."
A reluctant grin of amusement lit up Samael's face.
"He'll blow his top for sure and get that stupid look on his face like he bit into a lemon. He might even fly all the way back here just to complain. Staying behind would be worth it just to witness his hissy fit."
The two shared a laugh between them at their older brother's expense before worry crossed Samael's face again.
"What if you die there? What will I do without you?"
"In the unlikely scenario of my demise, you'd carry on. You will be the Lightbringer. You will continue to bring truth and color and joy to the Silver City, as you always have, because that's who you are. You don't need me for that."
"Is that what you believe? You think I'd want to remain here without you? I couldn't bear it. I'd follow you wherever you go," Samael replied .
"Oblivion is not a place I'd want you to follow me."
"I'd follow you anyway."
Mikael opened his mouth to protest before shaking his head.
"Well, it's a moot point because it won't happen. I have a very good reason to come back home, so fight I shall."
Samael gave him a slight smile in return.
"I have something for you," Mikael announced before pulling a simple black box out of his drawer and opening it to reveal two rings with silver sunburst emblems embossed onto onyx stones.
Samael studied them closely, there were Enochian runes carved into the metal around the stones. The runes read out oaths of devotion and fidelity and inside was another vow inscribed in Latin.
"We exist together , Sammy. We came into being together. So long as darkness and light exist side by side then so shall we. Chaos and entropy cannot truly destroy what is eternal. That is my promise to you. So long as you have this ring, even when I'm not here, I'm always with you."
Samael gave his brother a wider but tearful smile and accepted his ring before pulling the older twin into a tight embrace.
"I may be leaving, but I am not abandoning you. This is only a moment, it'll pass before you even notice I'm gone. And you'll be so busy here assisting Mother that you won't have time to miss me."
"I wouldn't count on that."
"We will see each other again, brother."
"Promise me."
"You won't have to follow me where you ought not to, Sammy. That, I promise . This is just temporary. We will be together again soon, I swear it ."
Lucifer stared down at the rings, a sad smile crossing his lips. Michael had come back, as he promised, but Lucifer hadn't made his homecoming easy thanks to his own insecurities. He didn't want this time to be the same as before, he wanted them to be better. He could already feel his own self-doubt crowding in, pushing him to do something that may have just the same disastrous results as before. Sending Michael away this time wouldn't be to boost his own ego but to protect Michael from future hurt. That was better, right?
"Oh, I didn't realize it was you, Lu."
Lucifer jumped a little, so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice anyone else had been there. He turned to his younger sister who stood in the doorway awkwardly.
"Rae Rae, is something the matter? I would've thought you would be busy."
"I've got my crew working. All souls are headed where they should be."
"For now. I've really got to revamp the system."
"I wouldn't hate that."
He nodded her forward and watched her hesitate before walking in.
"I haven't been in here since before the Rebellion, no one really has."
"Michael didn't say in so many words, but I figured."
"How is he doing," Azrael asked, sitting beside him.
"He's doing a lot better."
"I could tell. I can't feel him as much anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm the Angel of Death, I can sense when people die but I can also sense those souls who hover close to Death but don't cross over immediately. Michael's been straddling that line for eons."
Lucifer drew back in surprise at that. He'd never thought deeply of Azrael's abilities or how lost in the darkness Michael was. He did know that his brother was borderline suicidal when he found him in Hell but to hear it had been going on for much longer than Lucifer had even known was unsettling.
"I told Dad about it but He just said Michael's faults were his own and it was up to him to seek and find his own salvation."
Lucifer scoffed derisively.
"Of course He did."
"I wanted to do something, help him, but I didn't know how. He had Gabe, Raph, Cass and Duma and I thought that would be enough. Still, I felt him, like a weight pressing down on my chest all the time. I hated it but I was more afraid of the feeling disappearing and having to take his soul downstairs, because I knew that's where his guilt would take him, even if I tried to hold on to him or bring him to the Silver City. I knew he was suffering but the suffering meant he was alive and so I preferred it. Does that make me selfish?"
"No, Rae Rae. He's told me he wanted death or Hell and I wouldn't let him leave for purely selfish reasons, so I understand."
"I couldn't feel him while he was banished to Hell. I thought I would feel better about that, but I didn't. I wanted to visit him, but I didn't think… well, I didn't think you'd let me and after Remiel, I wasn't sure what I would've said to him anyway."
Lucifer's jaw tightened as he thought of his actions, banishing Michael to Hell alone for an indefinite amount of time. He wasn't sure he'd ever forgive himself for that.
"I was happy when he was suddenly back and I could feel him again, but the feeling, the closeness to Death, was more oppressive than ever. I spent every day bracing for the moment he'd vanish and I'd have to take his soul back down to Hell, but then the unexpected happened. I started feeling him less and less. It happened slowly, not the abrupt feeling I was afraid of. He's choosing life actively for the first time in millennia. This is the least I've felt him since before the Rebellion. It's because of you."
Lucifer stared at Azrael, momentarily struck silent.
"It's hardly just been me helping. Linda's been instrumental and just being away from Dad is bound to have a positive effect."
"That's uncharacteristically gracious of you," Azrael pointed out.
"I've just been wondering lately if I'm what he needs. I have been doing all this for myself as much as I have been for him. I'm trying to grow out of that selfishness but maybe it's been clouding my judgement and I'm not seeing things clearly. I mucked it up with him last time, who's to say I won't do it again? Maybe I'm not helping him as much as I think I am."
Azrael looked at him contemplatively for a moment.
"Do you know why I've never sought out a new nestmate after Cam was destroyed during the Wars Against Chaos?"
Lucifer shook his head in reply.
"I've always been anxious about what the rest of you think of me. Our siblings have been standoffish to me thanks to being the Angel of Death. The idea of an end to an immortal being isn't the most fun to think about, even though it's not a permanent end for humans' souls. Still, the stigma attached to death was extended to me and I didn't want to take the chance of being hurt or judged by a potential nestmate. Camuel had to climb an uphill battle to get me to agree to be his nestmate. He was the Angel of Peace and Devotion. He loved every single one of us. He never wanted to fight with anyone, he'd always prefer to resolve conflicts with words and a hug afterwards. He hated that I felt ostracized and he wanted me to have a companion so I wasn't alone. Once I let it happen, it was so easy and I finally didn't feel so alone in the Silver City. So when he was killed…"
An expression of grief crossed Azrael's face that made her look older than her form suggested.
"I just couldn't believe that anyone would be able to see me the way he did. Maybe it was because I never gave anyone the chance to. Besides, I was so busy once humanity was created, it was easy to push it off. I know Michael was in a similar position to me. His dominion over Fear made him a pariah to our siblings. Even when he was social, he still put up a wall between himself and the rest of the Host because of how he felt they'd react to him. The only one who really managed to completely break through the barriers he put up was you. That never changed, not even when he got closer to Gabe, Raph and the others. There's a part of him that he can't share with them because he's afraid people will judge it, judge him, even if it's a part of himself that he didn't choose. I would know. Having the opportunity now to get back that connection that he lost? That's what he needs, that's helping him. That's not selfishness, that's love. That's the point of being nestmates. So don't doubt that you're doing the right thing here. Once you accept that, everything else will fall into place eventually. You just have to work at it. It won't be easy, but it's possible."
Lucifer took in her words and felt some of the weight on him shift away. He was letting his insecurities and his doubts sway him, for good reason, but he needed to remember and think of what Michael said. He had no reason to say he wanted to be nestmates again. Lucifer wouldn't have forced him and it wouldn't affect anything as far as their living arrangements. Michael had decided he wanted that anyway, he offered it, not Lucifer. Lucifer wasn't forcing him into this, so maybe he was overreacting. Maybe his anxiety and worry were unwarranted. There was nothing he could do about Chloe's feelings. He had already agreed to give her space and time. He had exhausted all his words and now it was up to her to decide how she wanted to move forward. Michael told Lucifer what he wanted, Lucifer told Chloe his intentions and Chloe told Lucifer what she needed. There was really nothing else to do but let the chips fall. Either way, this was something he should discuss with Michael when he got back. Making any unilateral decisions about it was bound to blow up in his face.
He glanced over at Azrael who was silently watching his internal debate.
"When did you get so wise?"
Azrael shot him a grin in return.
"I've always been wise. You've just never liked taking others' advice."
Lucifer grimaced a little at that.
"True. Regardless, thank you for this. Your words mean a lot to me. I'll need your advice much more in future when I'm revamping the whole afterlife system."
"Oh, don't worry. I have some ideas."
When Michael and the others finally came back, it was with little fanfare.
Lucifer had been sitting in the penthouse, sipping a drink and going through final approvals for Lux's payroll when the air in the room suddenly shifted. The atmosphere began to feel staticky before reality warped and Gabriel's portal opened in the middle of his living room.
He stood from his seat as his six siblings stepped through into their home reality. He caught a glimpse of his mother who blew him a kiss and gave him a smile just as the portal closed. He felt significantly less sadness this time at seeing Her gone. He would see Her again at some point, he was certain.
His focus turned to the person he was most concerned with. Michael was standing next to Amenadiel, his gaze on the floor and his shoulders slumped. He didn't look injured or hurt in any way, just tired.
Lucifer approached him, looking him over with a scrutinizing eye. His brother briefly glanced up at him. His eyes were dull. Anyone else would think they were lifeless but Lucifer could see the barely repressed storm of emotions hiding behind the forced lack of emotionality. He knew instantly that he had better clear the rest of his siblings out of the penthouse sooner rather than later for everyone's sake.
"I'm glad to see you all in one piece. You were gone for two days. I'm sure Linda and Charlie are missing you, Amenadiel. You'd best go to them. The rest of you should go to the Silver City and get some rest. We'll talk more once you all have had some time," Lucifer announced, not taking his eyes off Michael.
His siblings didn't protest his words. Before they shuffled out, Gabriel approached the twins and pulled Michael into a hug.
"You were so brave, Mikey. No one has ever stood up to Him like that. You are amazing."
Michael didn't reply although he did return the hug with a loose embrace before Gabriel pulled back, gave him a kiss on the cheek and flew off to the Silver City with their brothers.
Lucifer watched his twin indecisively once they were alone. Michael was still looking at the ground, still silent, likely still processing whatever happened with Dad. Lucifer was practically bursting with questions. He wanted to know every detail but he decided it was better not to push. Michael would speak in his own time.
He reached out to him but his touch seemed to suddenly make his brother come alive. He flinched violently and took a step back. Lucifer held his hands up in surrender, giving Michael a cautious look. The barely repressed storm he had seen before was now prominent in his eyes. His body was shaking, vibrating with emotions. Lucifer internally steeled himself for whatever form the impending meltdown was going to take.
He watched as his twin wordlessly began pacing back and forth like an apex predator locked in a cage. He was still wearing his armor and the Flaming Sword was attached to his hip. With the dark expression on his face, anyone could've perceived him as a threat. Lucifer knew better. In this moment, Michael wasn't a predator or a soldier or a killer, he more resembled a storm. It was like watching heavy grey clouds rolling through the sky, flashes of lightning and rumbles of thunder heralding the arrival of a tempest, gale winds sweeping up anything not nailed down, a storm surge rushing over the land. Lucifer could only watch and brace for what would happen when the storm finally broke.
"Mi," he called tentatively.
His brother spared him a glare but kept pacing.
Lucifer took a careful step closer to him and spoke in a soft tone.
"Brother, whatever is going on inside of you right now, whatever you're feeling, you can let it go. You're safe here, I promise. I won't judge you."
Michael stopped pacing and met Lucifer's gaze. His jaw was clenched and his fists balled up so tightly Lucifer was certain the nails were biting into his skin and drawing blood.
"You can't know that I'm safe or that you won't judge me. You don't even know what's inside of me."
"I don't need to know what's inside to know I won't judge you and I would hope I've shown you by now that you're safe. You know I'm not lying. I never do."
Michael reached up a hand to his hair and tugged on the strands harshly. Lucifer winced and took a step closer, wishing to free his fingers from the curls and stop him from hurting himself. Michael took several steps away from him and Lucifer decided not to press any closer.
"Whatever you're feeling, it's clearly hurting you. You can let it out."
"I can't. It— It's too much," he replied, his voice more of a fear-tinged plea than anything else.
"That's why you can't keep it inside."
"I don't know if I'll be able to stop it if I let it out."
"I'll be here. I'll help you."
Michael shook his head in return, pressing a hand to his mouth as he began breathing heavily and pacing again.
Lucifer fell silent. He could feel Michael's Fear rising in the room as the shadows began to loom larger, the dark corners of the space taking on a sharper edge. He knew Michael was building up to something, that it was going to break free no matter how hard he tried to keep it in.
He could tell the exact moment his brother snapped. The temperature in the room suddenly took a sharp dip as the shadows stretched up towards the ceiling from all four corners of the room and met in the middle, swallowing all light and turning the space pitch black, the heavy feeling in the air increased tenfold as the Fear seemed to suffocate the air. There was a feeling of anticipation as it all ebbed away momentarily, the room still and silent, before it exploded.
Michael fell to his knees and let out a loud scream. It was harsh, almost inhuman, full of rage and pain. Lucifer was expecting it but the volume of it as well as the overpowering feeling of Fear, Power and Darkness still startled him.
It was strong enough to bring him to his knees as well, to make tears spring to his eyes. He had always had a certain immunity to Michael's powers but this was a raw release of them, so intense that Lucifer had to focus so he was not overwhelmed by it as well. He quickly threw up a shield around the building as he felt the energy Michael had released seeking to spread out past the room, past the building, escape into the city and wreak havoc. He recalled what his unchecked Desire had done at his masquerade party, who knew what a raw uncontrolled release of Fear, Darkness and Power would do to a city's worth of people? The building swayed and rumbling in protest against the force of Michael's powers and Lucifer's shield but he still kept it concentrated to this space, not allowing it to affect LA the way it wished to.
Michael was still screaming, unaware of the possible danger. It was like millions of years worth of pent-up anger and rage, sadness and grief, sorrow and misery, guilt and regret was released through his scream. It didn't take long for the screaming to eventually turn into crying, deep sobs that sounded like they hurt on the way out. Fat tears fell down and drenched his face in seconds, falling to the floor beneath him as he crumpled on himself, bent over so his head was pressed to the floor, his hands shaking so badly they couldn't hope to bear his weight, much less the weight of the armor he still wore.
Lucifer watched him, his own eyes blurred with tears. He wanted to reach out physically, but he wasn't sure if Michael was ready for it yet, so he reached out in another way. The shadows and the Darkness were still swallowing the apartment, making it look like the deepest, darkest night had fallen outside. He nudged the dark gently, caressed the jagged edges of it and let his Light seep into it softly. Not in an attempt to dominate it but to soothe it, to remind it that Darkness did not have to suppress Light and Light did not have to overpower Darkness. They could exist together in synergy as they always had. Bit by bit, the shadows retreated, allowing the sun in again. Soon, the shadows were back to clinging to the safer corners of the room. Their edges were still sharpened but they were also harmlessly brushing against the radiance of daylight, seeking comfort in their counterpart. Once light had returned, he was able to see Michael better. He looked like a wreck, a sobbing anguished mass curled into a ball as much as his armor would allow.
Lucifer let his Desire slip now, letting Michael feel how much he wanted to comfort him, how much he wanted to get close and how much he wanted to respect Michael's boundaries. The sobbing mass shifted after a moment and Michael reached out his arm towards him. Lucifer moved to his side immediately, taking his hand in his and wrapping his other arm around Michael's shoulders comfortingly. He didn't try to quiet him or stop the tears from falling, he knew Michael needed it. The catharsis of this release was eons overdue.
Michael cried until Lucifer suspected he physically couldn't anymore and then he laid there, curled up in Lucifer's arms, aftershocks shuddering through his body. Lucifer gently used hands to lift Michael's head up so he could meet his gaze. His face was red and drenched in tears. He looked exhausted, drained, empty and spent.
"Let's get you out of this armor, hmm? Then we can settle you in the bed."
Michael didn't protest or do much of anything as he set about disarming him and helping him out of his armor. He placed the Flaming Sword down carefully, well out of reach. He wasn't worried Michael would do something to himself, but better safe than sorry. He resolved he'd call Azrael to retrieve it as soon as possible but he kept most of his focus on Michael, removing his armor until he was left in a soft linen shirt and pants. He pulled him with him towards the bedroom, practically having to carry him, and coaxed him into laying down among the downy pillows. His twin wordlessly sank onto the soft bed and curled up into himself on his side. Lucifer felt a tight knot in his chest as he watched Michael shutting the world out. He hadn't seen him quite this bad since he first pulled him out of Hell. He found himself once again regretting ever letting Michael leave to see Dad.
He sat down carefully next to his brother, looked at him indecisively for a moment before he reached out and began carding his fingers through his curly hair tentatively, ready to retreat if Michael gave any indication that he did not want to be touched. The elder twin tensed for a moment and Lucifer paused. After a few seconds, Michael let out a shaky breath and leaned into Lucifer's touch. He resumed his movements, lightly massaging his scalp as well before an idea struck him.
"Mi, can you unfurl your wings? I want to help you relax."
His brother was unmoving for a moment before he gave a slight shrug and the large black appendages presented themselves. They still looked as gorgeous and pristine as they did two days ago.
"I'm going to touch them. Is that okay?"
Michael responded with a sluggish nod, still not lifting his head from the pillows, his face obscured so Lucifer couldn't read his expression. He resolved to pay close attention to his body language and what faint impressions he could glean from their soul bond which was still in the process of repairing itself.
He kept one of his hands running through Michael's hair and moved the other to his wings. He hesitated over them for a moment. It's been so long since he groomed anyone else's wings, let alone his twin's. He hadn't been very kind to his own wings recently and towards Michael's… well, that was self-explanatory.
He got a flash in his mind of holding the Flaming Sword above his head, bringing them down on Michael's wings without hesitation, his scream of agony and pain echoing through the arena, the satisfaction Lucifer felt as he watched the wings hit the floor, lifeless and leeching divinity. He shivered, disgust at himself welling in him. He snatched his hand away, not wanting to touch his brother's wings again and cause the same pain he had before.
He flinched slightly as he felt the warmth of Michael's body brushing up against his leg as the elder angel moved closer to him. He still remained curled up and closed off but he was seeking comfort from Lucifer. Michael must've sensed his fears and it didn't appear that he shared them.
Lucifer stretched out his hand towards one of the obsidian wings again, ignoring the way his fingers shook slightly. His hand hovered over the mass of black for a moment, still irrationally fearful that one touch from him would destroy the wings all over again. The choice was made for him when the wing shifted, pressing itself into Lucifer's hand. He froze up, anticipating another scream of agony just like the one Michael had given in the arena, but nothing happened. Lucifer was touching Michael's wing and the wing remained uninjured.
Lucifer relaxed a little more and brushed his fingers over the coverts of his right wing. Michael shuddered in response but still curled closer to his brother.
"Sensitive," he inquired.
Michael wordlessly nodded.
"I'll be gentle. You let me know if you want to stop."
Michael nodded again and Lucifer set to preening the wings. They were largely flawless but he could see that Michael had already used them as some of the flight feathers were ruffled. He mainly worked on straightening the few that needed to be straightened and massaged the muscles and deep tissue. Michael relaxed more and more under his touch, unwinding his body so he was not as curled in on himself and moving closer to Lucifer throughout the process. By the time Lucifer was finished, Michael had his head in his lap and one hand clutching his twin's shirt. He still let out a tiny shudder every now and again, but he was mostly calm and his body was relaxed and boneless.
"Mi," he started hesitantly.
"Not yet, I just… not right now," Michael mumbled in reply.
Lucifer nodded in acquiescence.
"Okay. What do you need from me?"
Michael was silent for a moment before he shifted to allow Lucifer to see his face. His eyes were red and wet, conflicting emotions that Lucifer couldn't begin to untangle reflecting in his eyes.
"Just stay. Please."
Lucifer nodded again.
"Of course, Mi. I'm not going anywhere."
"I don't just mean now. I mean… Promise me I can stay with you, that I'm not hurting you by staying."
"Did Dad tell you that," Lucifer asked, a barely repressed growl in his question.
"Dad said a lot of things. Just promise me, please. But only if it's true. I need to know what's real and what's not."
Lucifer's face softened immediately.
"I promise you, you are not hurting me by staying. I want you here. I don't want you to go anywhere. I want you to stay. And as long as you want me, I'm staying too."
Despite his earlier worries, the words left his mouth easily, the truth of them never in doubt.
Michael nodded in reply, seemingly taking the words to heart.
"It's over. Me and Him… we're done. I never have to see Him again, do I?"
"No, you can leave Him behind. He's not in control of you, this universe or anything else anymore."
Lucifer caught a glimpse of grief and loss in his brother's eyes but mostly, relief.
"I'm so tired, Sammy."
Lucifer's heart clenched at hearing his fledgling nickname from Michael's weakened and hoarse voice.
"We can sleep," he assured him.
The two shifted around until they were wrapped in each other's arms, Michael's head resting on Lucifer's chest. The younger twin shrugged and let his wings materialize before wrapping them around Michael, pulling him in closer. Michael's wings settled on top of his, the white and black feathers blanketing them in warmth.
A soft shaky sigh left Michael's lips as Lucifer's fingers delved back into his hair, massaging his scalp lightly.
"Sleep, brother. We can talk when you wake up."
Michael nodded against him and snuggled in deeper into his arms. It wasn't long before his breaths evened out and his body relaxed, falling into slumber. Lucifer didn't plan to join him in Morpheus' domain but he supposed he was more exhausted than he knew because it wasn't long before he was asleep as well, the twins wrapped up in each other's arms and wings, just like they used to do all those eons ago.
When Lucifer woke up, he was momentarily disoriented. He felt well rested and also extremely warm, a contrast to the last couple of nights. He shifted a little and became aware of the weight in his arms. He cracked his eyes open and was met with a mostly identical face pressed close to his. Michael was still asleep, his face dry and relaxed, devoid of any of the conflict that was there before their little nap, soft exhalations escaping him. It was still light outside so Lucifer figured not much time had passed by, perhaps a few hours at most.
He snuggled in a little closer to his twin, pressing his forehead to Michael's and stuffing his fingers back into his soft curls. He laid there, his breath mingling with his brother's, who was a sure weight in his arms. He floated on a pleasant wave of drowsiness that was heavy enough to keep him pliant but not heavy enough to pull him back to slumber. He wasn't sure how much time passed by in this torpor before he felt the subtle shift in Michael's body language, alerting him that his brother was awake.
Neither said anything for a long while, not wanting to disturb the sense of calm and safety that lingered in the air. It took a few moments more before Michael began to speak, telling Lucifer what had happened when he saw their father. He couldn't help but to hold him a little tighter when he heard their father tried to convince Michael to stay with Him. It wasn't truly surprising that He had attempted to manipulate Michael, that He made the effort to sway his mind and assert control over him once more, but it still grated on his nerves that He was able to hurt Michael this way, that He could not help but to leave more scars and inflict more damage on him before shutting the door to His presence in their lives.
"He's wrong, you know. Our family might've only seen the negative parts of your Darkness and Fear, but those dominions were never synonymous with destruction. The Darkness you control is the building block of all Creation. There would be no life or Light without your Darkness. Your Fear is what helps warn people of danger, helps them to protect themselves. Besides, not all fear is painful."
"Maybe, but he was right about my nature. You said it too, didn't you? I chose to fight before Father turned our purpose to war. I enjoyed it. With fighting comes war, with war comes death and in death there is destruction, the opposite of creation, the purpose I was made to fulfill. I never shied away from the carnage ravaging the universe. I was wrong, full of Darkness."
"That sounds like Father speaking, not you. Don't let Him get in your head and make you doubt yourself. He's facing the consequences of His actions. You were brave and true, you always have been. You stood up for yourself to Him and He couldn't stand to see that He hadn't broken you like He had been trying to do for eons. You're right, He is a failure, in every way. He could ignore it before He saw you again, now He can't. You're stronger than Him, better than Him. It must chafe Him so badly to see just how much He failed. He wants you to suffer because He's suffering, but you don't have to. I would've loved to have seen His face when you gave Him what for. I told you you were brave. I'm proud of you."
Michael pulled back slightly to look at him, seemingly searching for a lie. They both knew he wouldn't find one.
"Shouldn't I be suffering for all those who have suffered because of me? It's an attempt at amends if nothing else, right?"
"Suffering isn't making amends, brother. Setting yourself on fire or letting others do it for you won't make you feel any less guilty. You want to ease that guilt, you have to do the work. I can't tell you what that is, you'll have to figure that out on your own, but you can't help anyone else if you're not in the mindset to do it. So, no, choosing to languish in pain won't make anything better or help anyone else in the long run."
Michael appeared to be looking for a lie again but when he found none, he let out a soft exhalation and pressed his face into the junction of Lucifer's neck.
"I think I might need help believing in… in me again."
Lucifer dropped his head down so his cheek was resting in Michael's hair.
"I'll help you and so will Linda. You're not alone."
Michael nodded against his chest and they fell back into silence. They didn't talk again for the rest of the night but there was nothing more that they could say about their father. All words had been expended and neither wanted to waste any more time, tears and energy on the man who had made it His mission to make their lives as hellish as He could.
So instead, they took comfort in each other and in the knowledge that despite His best efforts, He did not succeed. They were together again and as long as they willed it, nothing could tear them apart.
AN: The next and last chapter will be an epilogue.