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Chapter 149 Preparing for the Worst
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Note: This chapter is designed to be read with the next final chapter. This is short but the next chapter is a nice long almost 20 page chapter.
Ava had some time to pull herself together. It was Friday and Jax would be at church. Tonight he wanted to wrap the meeting early so the guys were eating dinner during the meeting. Still Ava had at least three hours to figure out her next move.
After a few minutes, she put the laundry back the way she found it and returned the check to the pocket of his jeans, went into the master bathroom and washed the tears from her face. Before she finished, she began crying again. Ava wasn't much of a crier when it came to her personal life. She cried watching sad movies, reading sad novels and reading about child or animal abuse, but, with the exception of her mother's death, she'd had little tragedy in her life until now.
She remembered how she'd foolishly thought she'd had her heart broken when one of her minor little crushes didn't work out. She'd shrugged those off. Losing Jax was going to hurt as much or more than losing her mother. They had built a life together and now it was all going to be gone.
Everything seemed fine between them. He acted happy. What could she have done that made him so miserable he didn't want to be with her anymore? Was there someone else? Or was he just tired of only being with her and he wanted to go back to sleeping with every girl that crossed his path?
No matter what, she would not beg him to stay with her. Her pride was about the only thing she had left. She didn't think begging would work and if it did it wouldn't last. She would do her best to not fall apart and cry, but she wasn't sure she would be able to manage that. She wanted to hold herself together until he left.
She couldn't think about what her future would look like without Jax. Those were steps she would have to take, but she needed to give herself time to deal with losing him first before figuring out her future. Staying in Charming wasn't going to be an option because she couldn't handle running into him in town or even worse, running into him with another woman.
Ava splashed water on her face. She felt sick inside but the tears were gone for the moment. She sought comfort in the familiar and turned on a Hallmark movie. After less than a minute she turned it off. She couldn't deal with watching cardboard people she didn't care about finding passionless love.
She found the original Scream and began watching it. She'd seen the movie at least a dozen times, so it had long lost its ability to frighten her. She wasn't scared of being home alone. Between the security system and Jax's teaching her how to use and shoot a gun, she was confident she could protect herself.
Her stomach twisted into knots when she got the text from Jax telling her he was on his way home. They had bolt locks on their doors that Jax insisted always be kept locked when they were home. She would have to undo the bolt lock so he could enter. When she heard his bike outside, she undid the bolt and tried to prepare herself for what was to come.