Kakashi did not remember his plan to leave a part of himself behind until he had left the Land of Fire. He burst out laughing at the thought. A part of him had always remained in that clearing. It was time for something different.

He came home a healed wolf. Nobody was outside to greet him. He opened the hidden doors to their fullest extent and walked in, shutting them behind him, of course. He strode through the base, tail up, wondering why he felt so different. He had expected the feeling of transformation to fade, as all feelings did. Sometimes in his life he had felt inspired and powerful, enough to believe that his life would change, but it was only an illusion. No feeling ever lasted. No matter how hard he tried to climb out of the pit of his life, he slid back down eventually.

Until now.

He met Orochimaru in a hallway. The snake looked surprised to see him. "Ah, Puppy," he said, patting Kakashi's muzzle. "Your clone left with Tomoda yesterday."

Kakashi closed his eyes and reabsorbed his wolf disguise. When he stood once more in his usual form and looked his companion in the face, Orochimaru's expression changed. His eyes gleamed with scientific curiosity. "What is this?" he asked.

"Did I ever tell you the story of that night?" Kakashi snorted and shook his head; the question was unnecessary. He needed to tell it again regardless, in order to set the proper mood. He led Orochimaru to the nearest room. They closed the door. In isolation, he told the snake the whole story over again: his family, their den, the storm, his mother's sudden alertness, the menacing growl, her departure, he and his siblings racing after her, the fight, the sound of his siblings screaming in unison, the sudden silence. The continued silence, though the storm still raged. The branches rising and falling, his world having shattered.

"Very traumatic," Orochimaru whispered.

"I know what that means now," Kakashi replied. "That word. Trauma. I knew what happened hurt me. I knew I was broken by it. But I didn't realize the exact nature of the consequences of it. Turns out, a part of me has stayed in that clearing ever since that night." He raised a hand. "Not literally. And yet… And yet no less real."

Orochimaru scanned him from top to bottom. "You've been missing a part of yourself for as long as I've known you."

"Not quite," Kakashi replied. "It's more like a part of me has always been on assignment. Its assignment: to hold, safeguard and maintain the story I just told you. The events that happened. The place. Everything."

Orochimaru tilted his head. He didn't say anything. He needs more information.

"The story was trapped in my mind," Kakashi explained. "I couldn't share it with anyone. When I visited the place and saw that the forest had changed, I was horrified and scared. I felt betrayed. Like it shouldn't have moved on. It should have stayed the same, just like it was that night, so that - so that my siblings and my mother wouldn't be gone."

His heart began to pound. I'm not saying it right! It's coming out in scattered chunks, not making sense to him at all. Is he annoyed with me?

Orochimaru did not seem to be annoyed. His eyes continued to glitter with scientific curiosity. When Kakashi paused, he leaned forward, the glitter growing stronger. No. He wants to hear it. He wants to hear me.

"As long as that night happened, then everything I lost in it would be real, too," Kakashi continued, his sad words contrasted by a smile. "I understand why I've never been able to change. If I healed, if I was no longer damaged, then there would no sign that that night had ever happened. The last trace of my family would be lost. I couldn't allow that to happen, so I turned myself into a living monument. But when I was there, I met a young wolf. I told him the story. He understood it and ran back to his family. I shared the story. It's alive in the world now. I can heal, and it'll be okay. My family and their deaths won't be forgotten. Even when the tree has rotted into the ground, wolves in that forest will still warn their pups about tigers." He laughed. "It's not all on my shoulders anymore! I'm not the only one keeping them alive anymore. I can do things with my life other than endlessly tend to their memories. I'm free."

Orochimaru's eyes were wide, their sparkle so strong that it was more of a glow. "At last," he breathed. "An explanation!" He leaned right into Kakashi's face. Their noses nearly touched. "How does this interact with my false lights hypothesis?"

"Thank you for making that hypothesis," Kakashi answered. "Thank you for looking at my signs of damage and deducing their cause. I didn't even have to tell that story; you read it from the writings I'd encoded into my personality. You know the true story of what I experienced and how I felt about it, and you've even shared that story with others. I can let go of all that, too."

Orochimaru sat back, but the aura generated by his chakra pushed forward. It blazed, sending shivers down Kakashi's spine, as if he was being lightly electrocuted. Fear mixed with his joy. Is he alright? It can't be healthy to be in the middle of that…

Orochimaru didn't seem the slightest bit frightened. He pelted Kakashi with questions. His speech was incredibly rapid, yet several times he cut himself off midsentence because what he was currently saying was rendered irrelevant by a new, more advanced thought. Before long, Orochimaru had developed a unified theory of personality and trauma, which Kakashi understood because he'd been instrumental in creating it, but even so struggled to keep up with. His sense of fear increased. This definitely isn't healthy.

Sure enough, several hours later, Kakashi found his mate sitting on the floor panting. He offered Orochimaru a helping hand to the nearest room with a bed. The snake accepted. Kakashi watched him collapse into bed and fall asleep instantly.

.

By the time Orochimaru woke up, Kakashi had realized what had happened. "Yup, your soul is strained," he said after taking a close look with his demon eyes.

Orochimaru looked and acted not just tired, but demotivated. As if the spark that gave him life had gone out. "Of course it is. Do you have plans for dinner?"

Over the next several days, they did not discuss the new theory at all. Nothing seemed to elicit scientific curiosity anymore. Orochimaru showed normal levels of pleasure about creature comforts, though. He snapped at Kakashi several times to stop peering at him like he was a lab rat. Kakashi laughed at that. His anger is unaffected, bodily joy is unaffected, ability to express himself is unaffected. He's not permanently damaged!

Orochimaru sighed. "I know I'm not my usual self, Puppy. But you can stop treating me like an invalid."

"No, no, that's not it. I'm checking you for signs of the false world. You yelling at me is a pretty convincing sign against it. I'm not worried anymore."

Kakashi meant that seriously. But when a full week passed with no discussion, he started to worry again. Then a second week. He was literally counting the days, so on the morning of the fifteenth day, he woke the snake up accidentally by watching too closely. His measured breathing, restrained so as not to alert his target, had the opposite effect by triggering Orochimaru's ninja instincts. The Snake Sannin woke up alert and ready to defend himself. "What the fuck is the matter with you?" he snapped.

"I want to hear what new thoughts you've had about personality and trauma and how they're related," Kakashi replied.

Orochimaru hissed. "You woke me up just to ask me questions you could have asked at any time?"

"No, I woke you up accidentally because I was very eager to see evidence that you haven't permanently damaged yourself." Kakashi crossed his arms. "Can you access your inner scientist again?"

"Do I have a good reason to?" Orochimaru replied.

"That's a question you never would have asked before. Your soul must still be strained." Kakashi checked it. "Hmm. It looks healed. It's looked healed for the past week. But clearly it isn't."

Orochimaru took a deep breath. "I will try." He concentrated for a moment. "If you have good reason to believe that something exists, but you can't see it, then it must be divine."

Kakashi wrinkled his brow. "I don't see anything missing from your soul. But I see something missing from you. Your joy in the nature of the world." Of course. The nature of the world is fundamentally divine. Taking joy in it must be, too!

Orochimaru seemed to have the same thought. "Hmm. I wonder what our angel friends would -" He stopped and stared off into space. Kakashi watched with amazement as the old scientific joy came back. Ah! It's been too long since those eyes shone like that! "I can feel it," Orochimaru said, smiling. "It felt like…reconnection."

"I still can't see anything different," Kakashi reported. "Not with demon eyes. But when I see your face, you look transformed!"

"It feels as though something is flowing through me," Orochimaru murmured. "What does that say about the nature of the gods…"

They were both too excited about his recovery to remember about his question. Around midday, they sunned themselves outside, enjoying the last decent sunlight of the year. The sunlight was no longer warm, but if they closed their eyes, it shone through their eyelids and made them see a warm, pink glow. Orochimaru twitched. "That's right, what would our angel friends think about everything?"

"Want me to summon him now, or…"

"Obviously."

Kakashi cut his sunbathing short to oblige. He expected to continue to feel drowsy and restful. But the shock of seeing someone other than Purple made him fully awake. "Who the hell are you?" Orochimaru asked.

"Purple walks with storytellers in this time," the strange man said. He looked confident, powerful. In one hand he held a book, and in the other, a writing implement. "To find stories?"

Kakashi's eyes bulged. "We just figured out something very important about stories, actually," he said, eyeing the man with awe. Their society is completely correct! Storytellers are the most powerful of all people! Life itself is a story. How could we not have figured this out. He asked the man to sit with them and, along with Orochimaru, explained the role of stories in forming personalities and traumas. The man wrote furiously at the same time as Kakashi held Orochimaru back. They managed to finish eventually.

"Great story!" the man exclaimed while massaging his hand. Kakashi nodded. Indeed, it is a great big story. I hope this man doesn't get burnt out the way Orochimaru did.

Orochimaru smirked. "Speaking of how great it is, you're not going to believe what has been happening to me over the past two weeks…"

The man probably needed a similar span of recovery time for his hand when he finished writing that down. He nodded vigorously. "Lightbringers bond in close way. They bring power through."

"Has Purple told you what we learned about demons?" Orochimaru asked. "That they are living illusions, specifically."

"Many stories. Yes."

"Do they lack a bond with the gods?"

"Many new stories are coming," the man replied. "Be dark ones the power that is bring? Be dark ones sprung from great beings, or wells of greatness? Be world-souls? Many, many new stories."

"World-souls?" Orochimaru looked ready to strain his soul again. "No, I mustn't ask about that. I've only just recovered."

"Speaking of what Purple learned about demons, what do you think of me? Is it possible that I could be newly created?" Kakashi asked.

The storyteller peered at him. "You be a new story. Story finished is story left. Was at all times."

"It would be impossible for me to exist and my story not to?" Kakashi looked down. "If that's true, then if I was a normal demon previously, but lost my memories for some unknown reason, then at the precise moment where my original's mind ceased to exist my actual being would have ceased to exist too. That would be impossible if my being was physical; when a soul leaves, its former body doesn't vanish from reality. But now that I know that demons aren't physical, but rather just illusions… That makes sense. How could an illusion possibly exist without a mind to create and control it? You're right. I must be newly created, no matter what happened."

Orochimaru waved a hand. "We always knew your former self was dead in some sense of the word. What interests me more is the fact that you seem to be the first new demon in…well…the entire history of existence. That indicates that demons are population-limited; there must be a certain number of them at all times. Why? And who decided what the number was? I am getting even more skeptical of the idea that demons are separate from all divine influence than I was already, if that is possible. I find one of those new stories he mentioned plausible and intriguing. The one about how demons might be divine power made manifest. The only thing that hypothesis wouldn't explain is why you can't see it…"

"Don't hurt yourself," Kakashi reminded him. To the strange man, he said, "I was just curious. It's not actually all that important. I have greater priorities right now. But thank you." The man nodded. Using his non-writing hand, he picked up his book and writing utensils. Kakashi sent him back.

"You go about declaring all this not important after I recover my curiosity," Orochimaru hissed.

"Hey, I truly do have greater priorities right now. I didn't tell him anything about your priorities."

"Ah, yes. Preparing for your new life as a family man."

.

Orochimaru was referring to a new series of discussions they'd been having recently. After discovering the role of telling stories in healing, Kakashi naturally insisted that Orochimaru try it. Orochimaru gamely gave it his best shot. But something seemed to be wrong. His anger wouldn't abate no matter how many stories he told of the various injustices committed against him. They speculated that those injustices might in some way be ongoing. Kakashi wondered if, since the plants were so beneficial, having someone or something new to take care of might help uncover what the injustices were. Orochimaru snorted and said pups would be hassle enough to take care of. He branded Kakashi with a new reputation as a child-hungry proponent of large families.

Since wolf packs were technically large extended families, Kakashi didn't mind this. In order to take Orochimaru's mind off of having his curiosity thwarted, Kakashi metaphorically rolled over and exposed his belly, allowing the snake to tease him. Orochimaru told him, "I dread what you'll actually be like after they arrive. If you try to make me swoon with cuteness, I don't care how many children are watching, I'll punch you."

"Mah, don't worry, I'll restrain myself." Kakashi put on his most infuriating face. "So, will they have permission to call you Mom?"

"Hell to the fuck no. I am staying out of your fur-laden offspring's business. Do you really want a snake around small, helpless mammals?"

And so on. Kakashi was discovering for the first time how much fun exchanging teases could be. He had never been able to participate in this activity before because any tease, no matter how obviously facetious, triggered his various mental problems. He felt like he had discovered a whole new world. I should have talked about it before. I had him right there. I knew back in Konoha that he wouldn't share anything I told him in our meetings with anyone. Why didn't I tell him? Perhaps he had been actually, legitimately, damaged back then, not ready to share the story. If only Orochimaru could have stuck around for a few more years!

Orochimaru stopped midstride. They were in a hallway of his secret base, not anywhere important. Kakashi waited for him to speak. The snake, strangely, had trouble speaking. He seemed confused, unable to put his thoughts in order. He was normally so orderly. It must be something really important.

"That said," Orochimaru eventually murmured, "I do find your interactions with your wolf mate…interesting. You enjoy it. A lot. Being with your own kind."

"Well, you've known that joy too."

"Not exactly." Orochimaru hissed softly. "I was without conscience, without any soft impulses, at the time. You and her…adore each other. I don't really know what it's like to adore anyone. Who adores me back, I mean."

Kakashi could feel his companion hinting around something that could not be stated outright. His tail began to wag. "Have you discovered a nice lady anaconda in the woods around here?"

"Not an anaconda," Orochimaru replied.

"And you didn't tell me? How could you? I must meet her!" It was hard not to tease Orochimaru into oblivion. It was very hard. I can do it!

"Of course," Orochimaru replied smoothly. "She's just settling in. I'm sure she would be curious about you."

Yes! I did it! "When?"

"It's not as if we snakes live according to a schedule. Why not now?"

Orochimaru led the way to her last known general location, then gave Kakashi the lead in tracking her down. They ended up heading back in the direction of their base. "She's moving quickly," Orochimaru said. "I suspected that she intended to overwinter in my convenient underground shelter. Cold-blooded creatures don't usually race for a distant goal, though. We like to move slower, linger near known safe spots. It's not safe to be too adventurous when your ability to move depends on the weather."

"Either she feels quite safe out in the open with you around, or she has a good reason to hurry to a lasting shelter," Kakashi guessed.

"She has a wound on her tail."

They found the female snake hiding among low-growing plants. Her solid black coloring blended in surprisingly well with the dead plants and open earth. Their stems broke up her outline, making her hard to spot. Kakashi recognized her instantly by scent. He stopped and let Orochimaru approach her first. Orochimaru's whole body language changed. He moved in a way that Kakashi had never seen before, slowing all his movements and blending them together until he seemed to be slithering on two legs. Kakashi had learned the basics of how to weave back and forth, but this method of walking was something else. The snake lifted her head up and flicked out her tongue, opening her mouth slightly. Orochimaru knelt in front of her and wove his upper body back and forth while tilting his head at various angles, making a show of examining her back. When they had fully confirmed each other's identities, she slithered towards him, over his knees. She paused and flicked her tongue out some more.

Kakashi woofed softly and dropped to all fours. He approached her like a curious wolf, sniffing at her from a safe distance, prepared to evade a strike. She hissed.

Orochimaru raised his left hand, touched the far side of her head. "No. He is friendly," he told her.

The rest of her body coiled up, enormous masses of solid black muscle bunching in defense. She hissed again, then fell dangerously silent. Kakashi whined and lay down. Why is she afraid of me?

"He will not harm you," Orochimaru told her. Slowly, he worked his way out from under her. He slid up to Kakashi and began to run his hands all over Kakashi's body. He started by using his hands, then his face, then his whole entire body. Kakashi blushed and thanked the universe that there were no humans around to see this. Orochimaru finished by wrapping his arms around Kakashi's waist, hissing softly, then letting go and returning to the female snake.

She uncoiled slightly, relaxing. Kakashi remained where he was, not moving a muscle. "Come," Orochimaru whispered to her. It took her some time to realize what he meant, but she eventually caught on that he was heading in the direction of shelter and followed. Kakashi walked at her side, staying within her sight range at all times. She moved slowly, stopping at one point. Orochimaru gestured to Kakashi. Together, they pressed against her from both sides, warming her. She followed the rest of the way and eagerly slithered inside when Orochimaru opened the door. She curled up right inside, in the hall.

Kakashi couldn't resist one tease. Just one. "Haha, looks like your girlfriend's moving in before mine," he said while leaning against Orochimaru's arm.

Orochimaru hissed. "She is not my girlfriend." Under his breath, he added, "Yet." Kakashi felt his soul jerk. He didn't mean to let that slip out. I should ignore it. Kakashi stepped away, stretched, and asked his companion to find or make a suitable home for her that was not the forest room. Orochimaru agreed to.

The rest of the day was spent lightly. The female snake eventually began to move around again. Orochimaru opened a door for her. Like the other rooms in this base, its floor was bare stone. The room was no different from any others. According to him, she liked it perfectly well. She dozed for a long while. Orochimaru covertly examined her tail and reported that the wounds were consistent with canine teeth. It looked like she had been harassed, not attacked with intent to kill. Kakashi promised to visit his mate's pack the next day. See how they reacted to her scent.

He was a little jealous when he picked up signs that Orochimaru desired to curl up with her overnight. It's just my wolf half, upset about sleeping alone. He encouraged his mate to spend as much time with their new houseguest as was desired and slept in the forest room. His wolf side stopped complaining so much.

He dreamed about, of all things, a snake made of metal. The metal snake looked him right in the eye, then opened its mouth and drowned him in liquid concrete. He struggled, panicking, aware that he could not escape and he was going to suffocate and die. But then he realized the concrete was really quicksand, which meant it was functionally water, and swam to the top. He climbed out of the pit onto a rounded metal vehicle of some kind, bright red with four black wheels made of some material that he didn't fully recognize. He opened its door and climbed inside, into an enormous dark room. A basement, by the smell of it. Feet shuffled toward him from the darkness. A lot of feet. Close and getting closer. He raised one hand, snapped his fingers, and -

Haha! Victory! The shuffling feet stopped shuffling and started walking normally. They belonged to shadowy figures who crowded around him, congratulating him on figuring out the game. Kakashi recognized them as friends and allies, though he had no idea who they were and saw nothing about them but vague dark shapes. In his dream, he enjoyed the company of others, unknown but nonetheless comforting. In reality, he thumped his tail. He had no complaints at all anymore. He felt perfectly comfortable.

.

A/N: Writing the first part of this chapter led to exactly what Orochimaru experienced. A super burst of motivation, such joy at having learned a truth about the world, strong desire to find out how to propose it as a new theory to the scientific community. Then - burnout. In my case, thank the gods, it was light. Just a strong tired feeling inside, but I was still functional. And now? Nothing. I reread the first part of the chapter, and it hardly seems consequential or important at all. *sigh*

Hopefully I feel better after some sleep. I shouldn't have started this on the last possible day. I knew it was going to be an important chapter.

Why is Orochimaru getting a snake girlfriend after a very abrupt transition to talking about a topic they've barely referenced before? Because I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to need these journal stories. I might wrap up my life and become ready to just live it without analyzing it through writing in the next few months. So I'd better get cracking on the plot stuff I want to happen. Who knows how many more chapters I have left in this one.

Well, see you all next month. Maybe before then.