"I need to head back to Suna. We've been tipped off that the Akatsuki are making a big move. We believe that Gaara is being targeted."
Kankuro had been distracted – his mind far away as he drove. Shikamaru had accepted the silence, assuming that Kankuro needed time to gather his thoughts… either that or he was taking him off somewhere for torture and disposal. Afterall, he hadn't forgotten what he had learned of Kankuro's special skill set, and there were the events of the night before...
Shikamaru was just glad that the long silent drive had ended with Kankuro pulling over to park and just talk. The car windows fogged, further blurring the view through the rain covered glass. It was as hard to see out the glass as it was to believe the next words that came out of Kankuro's mouth.
"I need you to watch out for Temari. She… she's going to need someone to watch her back. Things are getting… more complicated," he shifted uncomfortably before continuing, "I need someone I can trust, and you're the closest thing I've got here."
The words echoed in his head. They sounded painfully familiar. Hauntingly familiar.
This could have been a prime time to interrogate Kankuro, but he found his words falling to the wayside as he worked to steady his breathing and stay in control. Shikamaru stared hard, trying to focus on counting the rhythmic sweeps of the wipers across the windshield.
"Come on, Nara," an oblivious Kankuro started drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, impatient for a response. "I've seen you with your friends – I know you can be a stand up guy. I just need someone I can trust to look out for her. I know she won't look out for herself!"
Shikamaru found the distraction he needed to pull from his spiral, "You've seen?"
Confused, Kankuro turned to him, "What?"
"When have you seen me with my friends?"
"Do you think I wouldn't watch you and learn everything about you until I knew you could be trusted?! I would bet that you did the same for us. And they say you're a genius…"
Shikamaru glared as he pulled out a cigarette, pausing briefly to rub his thumb over the well worn lighter before striking. "I have never said I was a genius."
Kankuro rolled his eyes, "Ugh, that's not the point? Anyway, Temari trusts you for some unknown reason. So I'm asking if I can trust you to look out for Temari when I'm gone?"
Shikamaru shut his eyes in thought. Another responsibility. Another weight. But then thoughts of Temari pushed into his mind, and he knew that Kankuro didn't need to ask. It would've happened, regardless.
He exhaled smoke, "Alright."
Kankuro grinned, "Keep this up and I might actually start to like you, Nara."
Shikamaru resisted the urge to blow his next puff of smoke right into Kankuro's face.
"Shikamaru?! I didn't expect you to be here so late…" Temari's wide eyes stared at him from behind the desk.
"Couldn't sleep. I didn't expect you'd be in my office."
When Kankuro dropped him back at his car in the parking lot of The Sound, he had gone home. He laid in bed, his mind cycling through everything he knew about the case. He felt so damn close. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep until he went through Asuma's file again.
So, here he was. In his office with the plan to grab the file so he could attempt to sleep for the night.
And then, here she was.
"I needed a drink… and some space to think. I share an apartment with Kankuro and we… he's... this was the only place that I could think of where I could be alone and also had alcohol. I didn't think you'd mind…" she waved her free hand before adding, "... and your locks are terrible."
"So I'm told." Shikamaru took in her flushed face and a glass of scotch in her hand.
"Mind turning the light off again?"
"Watching the lightning?"
She nodded. He clicked the light off and stood still as his eyes adjusted to the darkness and she swiveled the chair back to stare out the window behind the desk.
A flash of light followed by a low rumble. The storm in all its glory flashed outside the window.
But he found himself staring at her. Her hair fell about her shoulders. Waves still present from whatever style she had worn earlier. She wore a dark dress that scooped low enough that he noted her exposed pale collar bones before she had turned. Her makeup remained though her lips slightly less bright than usual. The glass in her hand was marked in stolen red where her lips had pressed against the rim.
He wasn't sure how much she'd drank up to this point, but it was enough to make her movements and gestures a little more loose and her words a little louder. He might have found it entertaining, if it weren't for the melancholy that paired with it. It felt out of place on a woman so often tough and self-assured.
She glanced at him again over her shoulder, their eyes met and he felt his body tense as he fought the urge to move towards her, compelled to move to her by the sheer dejection found in them.
Before he lost the resolve that kept him grounded, lightning flashed in the distance again causing their eyes to break as their attention diverted to the out the window. The low rumble was barely audible in the dark and quiet office. Together they quietly stared across the darkened city streets to the horizon where the far off storm streaked the sky with light. Framed by the windowsill and pulled blinds, it all seemed so removed, merely a show that played for them across the night sky.
Shikamaru was the first to speak again, "You want me to go, and let you go back to your thinking?"
"No… not really. How about you join me for a drink instead?"
Shikamaru nodded, "Sure." He moved through the office to stand beside her, half leaning on the desk and towering over her while she turned and pulled a glass from his desk drawer and poured him a snit of scotch. She commandeered his desk so easily. It was her desk now, and she knew what contents lay in each drawer.
He studied the bottle, gauging by the amount in the bottle she'd already had several before he got there. He would guess she had probably arrived following her set at the club.
She handed him his glass before she fully turned again to watch out the window. Shikamaru took a drink and turned his head to watch as well.
Quiet minutes passed as they drank and stared into the dark, watching for the brief strikes of light before she spoke mostly to herself, "Worthless..."
Shikamaru's head turned to watch as she spoke, her eyes still focused far away. He didn't dare to ask who or what she was talking about.
"Can I tell you about my father?" She took a sip of her drink, both of them knowing the question was completely rhetorical. "He was a monster," she paused and shook her head in disagreement to her own words. She tried again, "It's not really that simple - or maybe it is, but just not for me?
"He had his business, his empire, his legacy. And we all had our place in it. Kankuro learned how to manipulate, torture, and blackmale - you probably already have learned that about him."
She hummed as she paused to take a drink, "He's really good at it too. And you've seen me with a gun…" she gave a humorless chuckle, "... I can assemble and disassemble a gun faster than anyone. Trained to kill a room full of people without a second thought."
Her voice trailed off as she shut her eyes tightly, "And then there was our brother Gaara…"
When she opened them again, she took another drink from her glass, "See, for my father it wasn't just about training us to serve in his organization. It's a dirty and corrupt world that we were born into… live in. I think, in his own way, he was also trying to protect us.
"Our family had a lot of enemies. If we showed any weakness, it would have been the end for us… any number of people would have jumped to exploit it. Survival is about being the biggest and scariest in a room full of monsters. I think that's why my father did what he did... to our youngest brother, Gaara. He was born premature and the weakest of us kids. But Dad ended up creating and molding Gaara into the most terrifying of us all. He became something completely different. A monster that strikes fear in other monsters."
Shikamaru's thoughts traced over how different – how bad things could have been if Asuma hadn't stepped in for him, Ino, and Choji. Asuma had played the pseudo parent when their own were busy trying to earn enough to keep a roof overhead and food on a table. Sure, they had gotten into trouble, but it could have been much worse.
He cleared his throat, "How old were you?"
"It started after our mother was killed when Gaara was about six… so I must have been nine. I think my father was doing the best that he could, and the only thing he knew how to do. Trying to protect us. But Gaara… the things he had Gaara do… the things that eventually Gaara seemed to enjoy..." Temari's voice broke off as her body gave an involuntary shiver, "I think my father even feared what Garra had become… what he made him, in the end.
"But, do you know what Kankuro and I did as we watched our sweet, tender, little brother be turned into a true horror… even feared by the likes of us?" She turned her eyes to Shikamaru. Daring him to answer.
He knew her answer, saw where this was going, but he couldn't get himself to say the words to her. She gave a doleful smile and her words became laced with self loathing, "Nothing. We did nothing but watch." Shikamaru broke eye contact to stare out the window, the pain in her eyes too recognizable.
"We knew it wasn't right, but we didn't even try to do anything to stop him… not that we really could have... but to not even try?" She paused briefly in thought, "Maybe Kankuro and I were the worst ones in the whole thing? We don't really have an excuse. If we banded together back then, or at any point, maybe we could have made a difference… but we'll never know..." she raised her drink to Shikamaru in a wry mock toast, "But, we can only move forward, right?" She polished off her glass.
She turned and poured more scotch, the amber liquid splashing in the glass. "Gaara changed after our father died… by some miracle. Nothing Kankuro or I did. He's a really good person now." Her face lit with a melancholy smile, "An actual, honest and good politician. Who knew those could exist? He's the one who pulled us all out of that hell - and it wasn't easy. I'm sure you know all about how he's set on cleaning up Suna's streets. He's going to be the next Mayor, but unlike father dearest, he's doing it the right way. But it's dangerous. Our father worked with the Akatsuki in the past, until they killed him, and now Gaara is working hard to bring them down. It's not going well. They want to kill him too, but this time Kankuro and I aren't just standing by and watching. Not this time… we promised…"
He should take away her drink, cut her off, and drive her home, but he would be an idiot not to confirm his suspicions - to get as much information from her as he could. He wanted to know. "You promised?"
She hummed, "We promised each other that we would do whatever it takes to protect Gaara this time. We failed him before, but no matter the cost, we won't fail him again. And that's why we're here in Konoha. And that's why Kankuro is leaving town tomorrow."
Shikamaru didn't want to look her in the eyes. Didn't want to share what Kankuro had said in the car. She was already laying herself so bare and she held so much weight that he couldn't add Kankuro's worry about leaving her behind. So he stayed quiet and feigned surprise with a raise of his eyebrows.
"I got a tip about the Akatsuki today. Back home Gaara's life is in danger. Things are escalating there with. Kankuro is going back to protect him, if he can, and I'm staying here. Because we need to keep moving forward to actually bring them down, if we're going to keep that promise. I mean, I know I'm still helping, but… I'm still so worthless and… being left behind. It feels like I'm just watching again."
Shikamaru swirled the amber liquid in his glass, "And here you told me before that you were doing this for vengeance for your father's death."
She smiled ruefully, "Oh, yeah… here's the really messed up part. That might not have been the full truth, but I do, somehow, still love my father, and I do want to kill those that are responsible for his death. I know it's not the case for Kankuro or Gaara, but I still love our father... even after everything he put us through. Everything he did… I'm the real monster for that."
"It's not that unexpected… he was still your father."
"You say that, but you don't even know half the shit he did. He wasn't the loving – take you for ice cream – teach you to ride bike – kind of father." Her eyes turned to him before she continued, "You wanna know what happened to the first, the only guy that ever kissed me?"
Shikamaru held her gaze. A part of him hated that he wanted to know, and he would keep listening as long as she kept talking. He was sure she would regret it tomorrow. It almost felt like a violation to listen so closely as she lay herself bare, but listening to spilled secrets was his livelihood. He never claimed he was the chivalrous type.
"Daimaru… he worked for my dad – a member of the organization, just an underling… a soldier. He liked me so much. Liked me as I am…" her hand waved over herself, "...all blunt, brash, brutal, and cruel…
"He would do anything for me – even once claimed he'd come back from the dead for me. I warned him time and time again that he would be smart to stay away from me, but he never listened. He wasn't like other guys. He didn't care who my father or brothers were. He wasn't scared. He wanted me. I can't say I loved him, but he liked to flirt with me, and I liked it too. Then one day we kissed. It was fun and stupid and reckless and…
"Apparently someone saw us, and my father found out. Next thing you know, Daimaru gets sent by daddy dearest to do some mob shit, and he never comes back. Something happened and no one will talk about it. No one will talk to me, let alone look at me, anymore. And Rasa, my father, says that's the way it should be… and so that's how it is.
"Daimaru was gone. I became known as a death sentence… but maybe they aren't wrong. I am someone who can kill without a second thought. It's easy for me, and things don't go well for men who sniff around me," Temari cleared her throat, and stared intently out the windows at the storm as a low rumble answered a flash of lightning.
"The men at The Sound don't seem too worried."
She smiled, "They don't know who I really am. Those idiots think I'm an empty headed whore, cause I let them. They flirt with death and have no idea."
"I know who you are." He stared into her eyes. The memory of her smiling face spattered in Tayuya's blood flashed in his mind. Maybe he was as crazy as Daimaru?
"Do you?" She pushed up from the chair and turned to him, propelling herself up and into his space. Her head tilted to the side as her eyes as she assessed him closely. "Tell me, just who am I, Nara?"
She was so close for the second time in the past two days. He would swear lightning struck as he felt electricity course through him as he smelled her and felt the brush of her skirt on his pants. He felt his self restraint pull tight.
"You're a strong, smart, and terrifying woman." He could almost hear a snap as his hands moved of their own accord. One wrapping around her waist and pulling her into his body and the other laced into the back of her hair to help guide their lips together in a crushing kiss.
Her eyes closed as her arms wrapped around him. He greedily pressed his tongue into her mouth, wanting to explore every part of her. He wanted everything he saw, everything he felt, as she pulled herself into him.
It was a loud crash and flash of lightning that brought him back to his senses. The taste of scotch on her lips and tongue stopped him as he remembered the events that brought them here. She wasn't herself, and he was crossing all sorts of lines. He needed to stop.
Back in control, he forced his treacherous hands to pull her body away from his. Temari's mouth was slightly open, her eyes still half lidded, as she tried to lean back into his embrace to continue.
Shikamaru held onto her shoulders, using every last bit of his willpower to keep her at arm's length.
Her eyes opened wide and forehead scrunched in confusion, "Huh?"
This was a mistake in a moment of weakness - going any further would only complicate things and she was inebriated. She wouldn't want something like this with him if she was sober.
Shikamaru cleared his throat, "Now that you've kissed two men, and we can test your theory on you being a death sentence."
She stepped backwards, pulling from his light grip and her arms crossing to close herself off once again, "Is that it?"
He hated himself at this moment, "What else?"
"Yeah… then I guess we'll see." She turned for the door, "It's late and I should be getting home."
"Let me drive you." He sat his barely sipped glass of scotch on the desk.
She paused before answering, "Sure."
In the car, he tried to read her blank look as she stared out the window. Silence filled the car with the exception of the sound of the rain and swipe of the windshield wipers on the glass.
And when he made it home after, he spent a sleepless night burning with a memory of a kiss that he was unsure she would remember come the light of day. But the question that troubled him the most - did he want her to?
Author's Note: Look at us finally getting some answers!
I suggest checking out the song "The Rain" by Melody Gardot. The feel of that song really fits for this chapter and it's a beautiful melancholy piece.
This is actually a chapter that has been living in my head since I started writing this story. I hope I did it some justice, and that you enjoyed it in all its melodramatic glory.
Special thanks to those who comment!