Chapter 8

When Joshua lowered his gun, he turned around to look. There was no one near him. He did not see the shadow but somehow, he felt as if someone, no not someone, Jeremy had been nearby and touched him somehow.

"Jeremy, where are you?" He thought as he looked around. Something was off, or was he dreaming? Joshua could not tell, but he saw many men pouring out from the trees and around the compound. Suddenly he noticed Jason and Candy coming out from behind the walls. He saw Matilda and Pilar. He looked for Sheila. She was on the ground, and it looked like she had been shot! Before he could go to her, Jason came up to him.

"Joshua, I am so glad to see you!" said Jason. Joshua looked at Jason as if he was in a dream. He saw Candy coming to give him a hug and then she left to take care of the children. Matilda stepped up and looked at him and approved of what she saw.

"Joshua, I am so glad you did what you did! If you hadn't who knows if any of us would have been alive!" Matilda said as she went to direct her spies and the rangers. Pilar came up to him and shyly gave him a little hug. She looked up to him and looked in his eyes. The bluest eyes she had ever seen. Then Matilda called her for a debriefing.

"Joshua, are you okay?" Jason asked as he took his brother over to a table to sit. Joshua was looking around and then he saw him. His baby brother, not such a baby brother any more. He got up and ran toward Jeremy and they both hugged. And then Jason joined them, and they went off to sit with each other and talk about the events.

"Jeremy, did you check in on Candy and the children?" Joshua asked.

"Yes, I did. I told her I had to see you and Jason and then we could spend the rest of the time together. I sure missed you, Josh!" Jeremy said with tears in his eyes. The brothers sat and just looked at each other, glad to be alive and be with each other.

One of the rangers needed Joshua to identify the body. So, he came over to look at her. He stopped in shock and saw that her face was not as beautiful as he had once thought. He bent down to look more closely and found a woman who looked haggard and old before her time. He wondered what she had done to look that way in death. He saw the bullet hole. He did not remember hearing the shot or seeing her go down. He did not remember if he had fired the shot. Jason stood next to his brother and did not tell him that it was his bullet that had brought her down. Jason knew that it would take time for Joshua to process it. He would be there for Josh when he finally realized what happened.

"Yes!" Joshua choked on the word. He was in some way elated that she was gone, but in another he grieved for her loss. He had been 'tied' to her with what he thought was love but maybe it was just infatuation. He did not know. He would have to think about it later. So much to think about, he suddenly felt very tired and sat down and leaned against his older brother who held him like he did when they were young after their mom had gone.

Jeremy had gone over to see that Candy and the children were okay. Pilar was with them.

"Jeremy, Pilar would like to accompany us back to Seattle. Would that be, okay?"

"I thought she was part of Matilda's spy network, what does Matilda say?"

"She says…" Matilda came from behind Jeremy: "She says, yes. Pilar has earned the time off and I think someone will need help in healing from this and she will be the perfect person to help."
Jeremy looked at Matilda and then at Candy and said:
"Who is going to need help?"

"Your brother of course!" Candy said as she held on to Melanie Rose. Jeremy looked at Candy and Matilda and then at his brothers and said:

"Well, it's the brothers' who will help to pick up the pieces!" Candy, Matilda and even Pilar looked at him and smiled.

"Yes, the brothers do help pick up the pieces but there are things that only he and Pilar will be able to talk about and that is very important!" Matilda said as she left them to think about things and went over to finish the paperwork. Jeremy was still looking at Matilda and thinking about what she said. He looked at Pilar and thought about her involvement. Jason was standing and heard the entire conversation and before Jeremy could speak, he said to Pilar:
"Miss Esparza, you are welcome to join us in Seattle. We will be grateful for your help with Joshua!" Jeremy looked at Jason and then saw Joshua coming toward them. Jason did not want anyone to say anything to Joshua just yet. So, he made sure they were to keep their mouth shut but Pilar went over to Joshua and took him by the hand and brought him closer to his family.

"Joshua, would you mind if I came to Seattle with you? He looked at her and said:

"Pilar, I can't promise to be what I think you are hoping for, but I would be glad to have you as a friend and accompany us. You are very good with the children!" He said with a semi smile on his face.

Jason and Jeremy helped their brother gather anything he wanted or needed from the cabin. There wasn't much that he really cared about anymore, except maybe a small picture of Sheila. He had really loved her, so he wanted to remember her in some way. Jeremy and Jason said nothing. When he had gathered everything from the cabin he wanted. He got into the wagon with Candy, Pilar, and the children while Jason and Jeremy drove the wagon away. He watched it slowly disappear. A few years out of his life he hoped he could forget.

Back in town the sheriff had a group of deputies to help clean up the farm and take those who were still alive to prison. Sheila would be buried on the farm in the little cemetery near where her mother and the rest of her family were buried.

"Jason, can we stop for a minute?" Joshua asked. Jason stopped.

"What do you need Josh?" Jason asked.

"Just a little time to look once more!"

"Take all the time you need brother. I am glad you are back!" Jason said as he stopped the wagon, and everyone waited for Joshua to come to some sort of peace with his past. It would be a temporary peace though, just like all traumatic events in one's life sometimes it takes a while to be at peace with oneself and to forgive oneself as well. Joshua was just at the beginning of this journey through grief and forgiveness. It would take some time for him to accept what happened, and to move forward. But that is for another story.

Everyone made it back to Seattle and they continued their logging operations. Candy and Jeremy's children grew up. Jason and Matilda would see each other and visit each other at times as well. Pilar helped Candy and then went to work for Lottie, who had expanded her s. on to a restaurant as the City was beginning to expand and more people were coming.

Joshua was happy to throw himself into logging again and he and Pilar would sometimes take walks and talk about what had happened back in Montana. Life was beginning to have a rhythm and meaning for Joshua. He had family and love, and that is the best healer of all. The love of his family, his brothers, sister-in-law, and friends who surrounded him and helped him.