Conversations with Jamie:
5. Calm
Kaylee and Simon strolled, arm in arm, around the back acre of the Frye homestead and enjoyed the crisp autumn air. Nearly full term, Kaylee was moving slowly, but they neither felt any need to hurry. Simon paused, seeming to stare at a white fence post and then swept his gaze around the surrounding grassland and across the wide yard back to the house. "You know," he said, "it's surprisingly beautiful here."
"Surprisingly?" Kaylee bristled.
"Hey," he said in a gently teasing tone, "you were the one who described your hometown as, and I quote, 'a two-bit spaceport on a backwater rock with more prairie than sky.'"
"Well... yeah, but only I get to say that."
"Fair enough," he conceded with a chuckle. "So how about... 'appealingly pastoral'?"
"Hmm." Kaylee considered. "Fine. You're forgiven." She patted his arm.
They continued their slow walk around the edge of the property.
"Băo bèi," Simon began again, "I think ... I think the past two weeks have been the most relaxing of my entire life."
"Me, too, sweetie."
"The baby's due in a week, and I should probably be terrified, but honestly, I feel ... I don't know ..."
"Like we was on honeymoon?"
He looked at her with a self-satisfied grin. "Yeah. Like that."
"'Course I suppose most honeymooners probably ain't staying with their folks and trying to keep their sexin' quiet." She winked at him.
He stopped, eyes wide with concern. "Your parents haven't heard … us?"
Kaylee waved a dismissive hand. "Nah. And wouldn't matter if they did. They're just happy about, well, everything: the baby, us being here, our marriage, and the fact they got a top-notch doctor in the family now."
"Well, I'm glad that's a selling point."
"Yeah, but more'n that, they know how happy you make me, and they can appreciate if you show it with … enthusiasm."
He pinked up a bit and said nothing. Kaylee never tired of seeing her man blush, and reached up to peck a kiss on his reddened cheek.
Simon paused their walk again to respond with a proper kiss on the lips. "I love you, Kaylee," he said.
"Well, I would hope so," she teased, patting her baby bulge.
Simon laughed, a glorious, free sound rolling over the wide prairie land.
Delighted in his joyful outburst, Kaylee kissed him and sighed happily. "Love you, too, Simon." They resumed their stroll, and she snuggled around his arm and leaned her head on his shoulder.
After the Lobachevsky's scare, Simon had insisted they be near reliable medical services for the birth, and to everyone's surprise, Mal had readily agreed. The Captain even detoured Serenity to Kaylee's homeworld of Zephyr and dropped them off with a promise to return as soon as Baby Frye-Tam graced the Verse. What started as care for Kaylee and the baby's health, however, had proven a boon to their new marriage as well. After the first few days of family greetings and reunions had passed, Kaylee and Simon had mostly just each other to keep their attention during their time at her family home. They were excited for the baby to come, but also just happy to share each other's company.
A question Kaylee had been nervous to ask him surfaced again in her mind, and she did not hesitate to ask it this time. "So, you been thinkin' at all about my folks' offer?"
Simon placed a hand over hers. "Yes, I have."
"And...?"
"And I must admit, it's a tempting notion."
"You really think so?"
"Well, the idea of raising our child somewhere other than a tramp freighter in frequent danger has a great deal of appeal. I mean, Zoe has certainly shown it can be done with Emma, but I know even she worries from time to time after our more ... exciting jobs."
Kaylee hated to admit it, but the same thoughts had occurred to her. She just nodded, and Simon continued as if he were ticking items off a list. "It would also be wonderful if she could get to know at least one set of grandparents."
Kaylee heard a faint but raw note of sarcasm in Simon's voice and offered a sympathetic squeeze on his arm. With barely a pause, he moved on to his next item. "And the hospital facilities here are surprisingly modern for a Rim world. I could definitely do some good work there."
"Y'know, you keep saying "surprisingly" as if it was some kinda compliment."
"I only meant that for a hospital this far from the Core, it is well equipped."
"Well, that's 'cause the Alliance built it after the war. The purplebellies blew the clinic we had before half to hell in the last year of the war – though they tried to blame the Independent Army for it. I'm guessin' someone in the bureaucracy got a case of the guilts and threw a heapa cash our way to rebuild it. Angel's Landing don't got much, but we do have a fine and shiny hospital." This time, the sarcasm was hers.
Simon was silent for nearly a minute, and she could almost hear his brain shuffle through this new tidbit of information.
"The biggest question," he finally said "is whether we could be safe here. It's been over a year since the Alliance updated any warrants, so maybe they just aren't looking anymore – at least, not like they used to. Your parents sound certain they can trust the community here to shield us, and maybe they can. And I've already got a new identity here, thanks to you."
Kaylee stifled a giggle but was unable to suppress a grin. "Yeah, I think 'Doctor Frye' suits you."
"Well, it is certainly safer than a fugitive's name," he rejoined and trailed off.
"But the hospital is a good one," he said a few moments later, in a voice that sounded more resigned than enthusiastic, and went silent again.
Kaylee waited another minute, until they reached the house, when she faced him and asked, "And River?"
Simon looked down and then off towards the scrub-covered hills outside of town. "River is doing as well as I can hope at this point. I would miss her, of course, but she loves piloting Serenity and... Well, she'll do just fine without me." He turned up the corners of his mouth in a small smile and returned his gaze to Kaylee. "And I'm sure she would come visit her little niece whenever she could. She's almost as excited about the baby as I am."
Kaylee looked a long moment at her husband. She was not sure he was being fully honest – with her or himself – but she did not call him on it. Instead, she smiled back and leaned on his arm as he helped her up the steps to the porch.
He started heading inside, but Kaylee resisted with a gentle pull. "Let's stay out here a mite longer," she said, gesturing toward the bench beside the backdoor.
She could see his hesitation, but he nodded and pulled a blanket off the seat. "Here," he said, "wrap this around you, and I'll get us some tea."
"Shiny."
He helped her and her enormous belly settle on the bench, pecked a kiss on her head, and then disappeared into the house. Moments later, Kaylee could hear him and her mother talking in the kitchen just inside. She drew the blanket closer around her and looked out over the backyard.
She sighed as she regarded her old home. So much had changed since she had lived here. She had been back two times since signing on to Serenity, but not since Simon had come on board. And thank God for that, she thought, else that Operative might've... She shook her head to dash away that sickening notion.
Grandpa's property – no, she reminded herself, Momma and Daddy's property now – used to be the last house at the edge of the port-town. Now, there were twenty or thirty homes out beyond on the hill side, even starting to climb the foothills into Allen's Valley.
The trees that used to border the Crenshaw's place on the town side were all gone but for a pair of hardy oaks, the rest replaced by metal sheds on their neighbor's side of the fence. Momma had mentioned the last couple of winters had been particularly harsh, with a heating oil shortage to boot.
About half-mile beyond the Crenshaw's, she could just make out the top floor of the hospital – comfortingly close – and she knew another mile beyond that, though she could not make them out from here, lay the docks, where she'd spent so much time before joining Serenity. As she watched, a big freighter was just coming in to land, disappearing below the town skyline, which boasted many more buildings of multiple stories than she remembered. Angel's Landing was surely growing.
Kaylee turned her attention back to her family's small plot of land, and at least that was assuringly familiar. The white picket fence wanted a bit of repair and a fresh coat of paint, but not a post was missing. Momma's vegetable garden was rampant with produce this year, with squash vines threatening to overtake all the dirt on the lee side of the house, and the evergreen tree in the back corner was bigger than ever. If she closed her eyes, she could picture herself climbing that tree back as a girl...
"Momma, look at me!"
Kaylee followed Jamie's excited voice and found her child fifteen feet up the evergreen tree. Kaylee bit back her motherly instinct to run over and insist her daughter get down this instant! Jamie was not in any danger, and stood well-balanced on a thick branch, her arm wrapped firmly around the trunk. Her dark hair was done up in pig-tails and her clothes were a full-size too small. At age nine, Jamie embodied every bit of tom-boyishness her mother had shown at that age, but with a considered carefulness that young, wild Kaylee had never displayed. As she walked towards the tree, Kaylee gave her child a big smile and told her with genuine pride, "Good job, Jamie!"
"I can see the port from here!" Jamie called down, pointing off that way.
Kaylee followed Jamie's finger and although she saw only the Crenshaw's hedge of poplars, she knew what Jamie was seeing, having stood herself on that branch many a time, gazing longingly at the ships landing and launching. The war had not yet reached Zephyr when Kaylee was Jamie's age, but the activity in the port had ramped up considerably in the wake of it. It had not been long after that Kaylee stood on that bough and waited and watched for her oldest brother James to return from the front.
"He never made it back, did he?"
Kaylee startled at Jamie's sympathetic voice, suddenly right next to her. She turned in surprise to her daughter, now fourteen and with hair flowing like molasses in waves down to her waist. Jamie gently put a hand to her mother's face and wiped away a tear Kaylee did not know was there.
"You loved him so much," Jamie said. "Best big brother ever."
Kaylee managed a happy smile of remembrance. "Yeah, he was." She closed her eyes and dispelled the old hurt by thinking of happier memories. "But your Uncle Caleb made it home, right after. He and Ruthie got a place just the mouth of Allen's Valley now." Kaylee nodded in the direction of the hills.
Jamie gave her mother a quick hug and took her hand. She led them over to the vegetable garden, and they picked a couple late summer squash to take in for dinner.
They were walking back to the house, when Jamie stopped her mother with a hand on her arm. Kaylee watched as Jamie turned a slow circle, looking at the yard, the town, the hills. Jamie seemed to age four years in the time she turned the circle. "Momma, it's so beautiful here."
"Yeah, it surely is, sweetie." Kaylee beamed at her daughter's love for her home. "It was a great place to grow up."
"I love visiting here, too." Jamie lifted her face to the sky, closed her eyes, and took a long, deep breath.
Suddenly, Jamie's eyes flashed open, and she snapped her head back down. Kaylee saw alarm and surprise and concern in her face. Jamie flailed her arms a moment, and then grasped Kaylee's elbow with one hand and the front of her mother's shirt with the other. Her eyes shut with a grimace of pain. "I'm sorry about this, Momma!" she hissed out through gritted teeth.
"Jamie!" Kaylee tried in mounting terror to understand what was hurting her child, and held Jamie's arms as the girl contorted. Then Kaylee felt an implosion in her gut and screamed.
Kaylee awoke gasping. A pain flared in her belly as if a giant hand had grabbed hold of her innards and twisted. The pain was sharper and broader than when she got shot. "Simon!" she cried out – just as her husband appeared through the door with two steaming mugs in his hands.
Simon quickly set the mugs on the porch and placed a hand on her belly, gently probing. "Contractions?"
"Feels like," she bit out. "I've had twinges all day, but this was big. Real big."
"Just breathe, băo bèi, like we practiced."
She panted in the way she had felt so ridiculous while learning, but both Simon and Zoe had insisted would help. And it did. The breathing gave her focus until the pain subsided.
Simon disappeared back into the house, returning soon with his med kit and her mother and father. As Momma held Kaylee's hand and Daddy stroked her hair, Simon used his sensors to confirm what she already knew: the baby was coming.
"But my waters ain't broke," Kaylee said.
"The amniotic sac doesn't always rupture before labor starts," Simon explained.
They waited another thirty minutes to confirm the contractions would continue – which they did, quite painfully.
"There is still plenty of time," Simon assured her, but he bundled her up in the family truck, just the same, and Daddy drove them both to Landing's shiny new hospital. Momma promised to follow as soon as the evening's roast came out of the oven.
. . . . . . . . .
"You weren't kiddin', Simon," Kaylee groused seven hours later. "Plenty of time, to be sure." She, Simon, and her momma had taken up residence in one of the hospital's two small birthing rooms, along with a small bank of instruments. Daddy had a big project the next day he could not afford to let slide and had, at his daughter's insistence, gone home to sleep. Kaylee lay in the bed, her momma by her side, as Simon reviewed charts and sensor readings across the room. Simon wasn't her primary – as he called Doctor Osumare, the hospital's head obstetrician – but he just could not keep from being a physician. Kaylee loved seeing him in his element, so confident with the staff, but sometimes she just wanted her husband.
"These things take time, sweetie," Momma told her in a calming voice. "Particular the first one."
Simon looked up from the sensor readings to ask, more clinical than curious, "How long did labor last with your first child, Mrs. Frye?"
The woman rolled her eyes and complained to Kaylee, "Two weeks a pesterin' and still he calls me Mrs. Frye. You tell me he's smart, sweetie, but I gotta wonder some."
Simon blinked a couple times, and his face softened. "Sorry. Emily."
Momma smiled and winked at Kaylee before she turned her gaze to Simon. "Fifteen hours," she said.
Simon just nodded and returned to his readings, but Kaylee blanched. She was already so tired.
. . . . . . . . .
At the fifteen hour mark, Kaylee's sunny disposition was being sorely tested. "Ain't there nothin' you can do to hurry this along?" Kaylee part begged, part spat, as she irritably paced the birthing room with her mother by her side. Her waters had still not broke, and even though the contractions continued, she was still only partially dilated. After a night without real sleep, Kaylee's patience was worn thin.
Simon replied hesitantly, "Doctor Osumare indicated that piercing the amniotic sac could help move labor along –"
"Then let's do that!"
"...but she is inclined to let nature move at its own pace unless there are any danger signs. And I tend to agree. So far, things are moving as they should, even if they seem slow."
Kaylee paused her pacing to cast a dark look at Simon.
"I wish we could at least give you an epidural," he continued, his voice both strained and sympathetic, "but after the Lobachevsky's, you and the baby could be at risk with any such drugs they could administer here."
"It ain't the pain," Kaylee said as she resumed her steps. "It's the wait."
"It'll be just fine, sweetie," Momma comforted as she helped Kaylee walk. "Babies come in their own good time."
"And ain't it just my luck this one's goin' for a family record."
"How about your momma, Simon?" Momma asked genially. "How long did your own birth take?"
"My own? Ah... well... That's not really... Labor times are not necessarily hereditary."
"Less than fifteen, I'm guessin'?" Momma said drily. "So, how long then, Simon?"
Simon seemed to become interested in the sensor readings again. "My mother had more medical options on Osiris."
"How. Long." Kaylee asked, biting out each word.
Simon looked at Momma and then at Kaylee and then back at the readings. "Three hours," he finally said.
Kaylee let loose a string of cussing that she would later be grateful her daughter was not yet there to hear. Simon left the room, mumbling about finding Doctor Osumare.
. . . . . . . . .
Breaking her waters did indeed move the process forward some, but then things soon stalled again. Still no danger signs, but also frustratingly little progress. After thirty hours of relentless but unproductive labor, Kaylee could not keep tears from her eyes. The giant hand that had twisted her innards before seemed to rip those guts a bit more with each contraction, her back ached like someone had taken a hammer to her spine, and she was so utterly exhausted that she morbidly imagined only Death could give her enough rest. She had snatched a few short, unsatisfactory naps, but anxiety churned her brain, and even when she did drift off, another contraction shocked her awake. She had refused smoothers out of concern for the baby, but she had begun to think they could be worth the risk.
She had sent Momma home several hours before, to get some rest herself, so it was just her and Simon in the suite, except when the staff doctor periodically checked in. They had discussed early on about discharging her until things had gotten closer to the big moment, but even though labor had progressed achingly slowly, it had not stopped altogether. Besides, there were few other patients in the maternity ward that day, and no one was chasing them out. Kaylee also figured if they had tried, she would have bit somebody's head off – at least, she would have done some hours back, when she still had strength do so. Now, she just whimpered and wanted the whole business done.
Simon had managed to nap a few hours intermittently on the reclinable chair in the suite, but he looked pretty haggard when he enveloped her in his arms and rocked her gently. She had watched the doctor in Simon vie with the husband and father-to-be for hours, and she knew the man who held her now was wrestling with a decision. Even spent as she was, she felt the moment he made his choice in the stilling of his hands. He kissed her and smiled weakly. He sat back and carefully fingered-combed her hair away from her face. "I think we should take Doctor Osumare's suggestion," he said. "We should do the Caesarean section."
"Cut her out of me? Simon, you sure?"
He nodded confidently. "The baby's progress has stalled for over five hours, and you are just getting more tired. I'm worried you won't have the strength when it finally comes time to push." He shook his head once. "I mean, not that you aren't strong. You've just been at this so long..."
Kaylee raised her hand a few inches, but was too tired to keep it up and let it flop back in her lap. "I ain't disagreein', Simon. I been thinkin' just the same thing. But, a C-section?" She swallowed nervously. "When I was a kid, my oldest cousin Jessica died from infection after a C-section. You sure it's safe?"
"Yes, I'm sure. The facilities are good, the doctor is very experienced, and I'll be with you the whole time. The recovery will take longer, but since we're going to be staying here afterwards, you'll have plenty of –"
"We're stayin'?"
He blinked. "I thought... Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Well, I... I don't know yet... I haven't..." Kaylee darted her eyes around the room.
"Kaylee, it's okay. We don't need to discuss that now." Simon grabbed her hands, and she fought to bring her focus back to him. He still looked confident. "We just need to get you prepped to have our baby, okay?" he said and smiled. "Okay?"
She nodded, trying to feel as certain as he seemed to be. The notion of having the baby soon did sound very appealing. "Yeah, okay."
Simon kissed her and left the suite. He returned several minutes later with Doctor Osumare, a nurse, and a gurney.
They wheeled her, with Simon holding her hand the whole way, down a brightly-lit hallway into the operating room. A long period of preparation followed. Simon explained each step to her patiently and calmly, and by the time they were ready to start, she was nearly as relaxed as he was.
When the anesthesiologist administered the sedative, she went through the breathing exercises again.
Simon bent forward and kissed her temple. "It will all be fine, băo bèi," he whispered. "I promise."
As the drug took hold, a calmness passed over her. Kaylee smiled and began to nod back at Simon when sleep pulled her down.
Kaylee found herself gently swaying in her hammock in the engine room. The engine was not turning, but Serenity's familiar hum filled the room. She lolled there a long minute, basking in the calm and the warmth of her domain.
Gradually, she came aware there was another hum underneath the ship's steady thrum – a hum that carried a tune. When punctuations of metal pinging metal added to the tune, she lifted her head and saw Jamie rummaging on the workbench. Her brown-black hair was swept up into a bun, held by a mis-matched pair of chopsticks at the top of her head, and she wore a well-loved t-shirt over denim cut-offs. Over that, she wore an apron covering most of her front. She was the same age Kaylee had been when she joined Serenity's crew.
"Whatcha looking for, sweetie?" Kaylee asked as she pulled herself up to a sitting position mid-hammock.
Jamie straightened sharply, and turned around. "Oh, sorry, Momma. I didn't mean to wake you."
"No worries, sweetie. Is there something I can help you find?"
"Sure, yes. I – Oh!" Jamie darted forward and picked up a pipe wrench just under the hammock. "There it is." She narrowed her eyes and looked around. "Why would this be here?"
Kaylee smiled to herself. "Oh, well... I was workin' with that on the regulator when your daddy came by, and we … "
"Please don't finish that sentence, Momma. I beg you."
Kaylee laughed and tipped herself out of the hammock. "Now, what're you needin' the wrench for?"
Jamie started walking out as she answered with a marked acerbity in her voice, "Jayne."
"Huh?"
Kaylee walked fast to keep up with her taller daughter's long strides, following her to the galley. She watched in curious amusement as Jamie opened the wrench to its widest mouth and then used it to brute-force open a jar of flour. Kaylee laughed. "I see. The Big Guy was the last to use it, was he?"
"Yup," Jamie said. "Don't know why he feels the need to close lids like they have to survive an apocalypse."
"Finger-tight for Jayne is just tighter 'an most."
"Next time Uncle Jayne cooks, I'm asking Dad to numb the guy's fingers."
"He'll probably agree, after whatever kinda stew that was Jayne made last week. Anyway, be sure to put it back on my bench when you're done."
"Of course, Momma."
"What's for dinner?"
"Dad's favorite." She nodded towards a platter of actual chicken parts, stuffed with reasonable facsimiles of cheese and ham. "At least, a best-can-do version of Dad's favorite. I had to improvise a bit on his recipe. Of course, he usually improvises himself, as well."
"How in the Verse did you get chicken?"
"Aunt River traded a couple of her drawings for two chickens on our last stop dirtside."
"For a couple of pictures?"
Jamie shrugged. "Guess some ranchers like art."
"And her cute dimples, too, I'd bet." Kaylee moved around the prep table and started to chop carrots as her daughter prepped the chicken pieces. "Don't seem right, though, you cookin' dinner today."
"Why's that?"
Kaylee stopped chopping to raise a skeptical eyebrow. "You can'ta forgot?"
"Forgot what?"
"Just your birthday, is all."
Jamie gave her mother an amused look. "Momma, that's tomorrow."
"No, I was there. It was January 14."
Jamie shook her head and smiled. "You always get that wrong. I came January 15 at Oh-Oh-30. That's what Dad said, and he keeps the medical records."
Kaylee furrowed her brow and stared down at the knife in her hand as she tried to remember her first child's birth. Maybe she's right, she thought. "You certainly did make it a long day-and-a-half," she teased as she looked back up – to find that Jamie was gone. The chicken was gone, too, and the galley was dark. She looked up through the skylight windows, and the bright sunlight that had been there a moment before had given way to a starry night.
She set the knife down and drifted out into the common area. "Jamie?" she called. There was no answer.
But she did hear the tuneful humming again, this time echoing throughout the ship.
She followed the sound to the cargo bay, and found her daughter at the back, near the hatch to the infirmary. Jamie stood beside a wooden easel, with her left hand on her hip and her right curled around a flat board decorated with several washer-size spots of different colors. Her head tilted, Jamie gazed intently at the airlock end of the bay. She had aged up another half-decade since the kitchen.
As Kaylee watched, Jamie picked up a small brush, daubed it in a greenish dot, and applied it in short strokes to a board perched on the easel. The girl looked quickly again around the painting and then back to the canvas, adding several more strokes.
Kaylee smiled in delight and trotted down the stairs, to come up behind Jamie. "Whatcha paint–?"
Kaylee gasped softly.
Jamie had rendered the interior of Serenity's cargo bay in minute detail – and then gone beyond, adding ferns and berry bushes and brightly-colored flowers Kaylee had only ever seen on the Cortex. Vines of ivy cascaded down from the high catwalks, and a pair of tall palm trees stood sentinel at the back of the bay. She could almost feel a warm dampness on her skin and smell the loam of soil, as if she actually stood in the jungle setting Jamie had painted. The scene put Kaylee in mind of what she had imagined when her Sunday school teachers had described Eden. At the center, between the palms, the airlock doors were open, and although the space beyond was unpainted, it seemed to emit a glow from without that infused the entire painting with light.
"It's amazin'," Kaylee breathed, taking in every inch of the canvas.
Jamie beamed. "It's what I see when I close my eyes."
Kaylee gave a misty look to the painter. "Really?"
"Yeah." Jamie's eyes twinkled. "Of course, the idea first came to mind when the humidity control broke last month."
Kaylee playfully smacked her daughter's arm. "Don't be mean."
Jamie laughed and turned back to add a few more strokes to the painting's edge.
"Why the empty in the middle, though?" Kaylee asked.
Jamie carefully placed the pallette and brush on a nearby table, and wrapped her arm around her mother's shoulders as they both took in the painting. "That is The Exit," Jamie said, the capital letters clear in her voice. "It's Possibilities and Adventures and the Future."
They regarded the work a bit longer, and then Jamie turned to face her mother. She smiled, her face a mix of excitement, nerves, and wistfulness. "It's time now. No more delaying, Momma." Jamie leaned forward and gave her mother a reverential kiss on the forehead, and the world blurred.
"Doctor Frye, she's comin' 'round now."
Kaylee heard a voice at the edge of her mind, and would not have made anything of it except the name caught her attention. Who was...? Oh, right. She grinned. Yeah, she decided, I'd like to see Simon now. She slowly lifted her lids.
She was back in the birthing suite, with stars winking through the window. Doctor Osumare stood next to the bed with a kind expression. "Welcome back, Ms. Frye. How're you feeling?"
"I'm fine," she replied automatically. Then, she thought about it. Her hand snaked to her belly, expecting to find bandaging, but encountered bare skin. "There's no cut? What happened?"
Doctor Osumare smiled warmly, her crinkling eyes adding a few more wrinkles to her face. "You were quite a surprising patient, my dear. But I'll let your husband give you the details." She gestured behind herself, to reveal Simon coming towards the bed, holding a small blanket-wrapped bundle in his arms.
Simon had the happiest smile on his face she had ever seen. "I think you might want to meet someone first," he said and carefully laid the bundle in her arms. "Say hello to Miss Jaimalyn Mei Frye-Tam."
Their daughter had a short fuzz of black hair and a tiny jutting chin, just like her daddy. Her nose came to a pert point a bit like River's. Her face had Momma's heart-shape, and her eyes looked a soft shade of brown, almost like Kaylee's own. As Kaylee watched, the baby's hands quested out, and Kaylee offered a finger to catch one. Jamie pulled her mother's finger towards her with a gentle pressure. Strong hands, Kaylee could tell, the hands of a mechanic.
Kaylee teared up and whispered, "She's amazing."
Simon perched next to her on the bed and encircled both her and their baby in his arms. "She is that. She's..."
"Perfect." Kaylee watched in awe while Jamie's big eyes wandered. Kaylee knew they could not focus yet, but she could not help but think that Jamie was looking for something. Or for someone.
After so many months dreaming about conversations with her daughter, Kaylee half-expected Jamie to start chattering, impossible as it would be for a newborn to speak. Or was it? Kaylee wondered.
Can you hear me? Kaylee thought to her daughter. Jamie stilled and seemed to stare up at her mother – just for a moment – and then went back to eyeballing the world. Maybe she'd paused in merely a random moment of quiet. But maybe she'd heard something.
And maybe it did not matter just then. Her daughter was here in her arms, at last, whole and safe. "Perfect," Kaylee said again.
"Exactly," Simon said. "Perfect." He had a catch in his voice. "And so is her mother." He kissed on Kaylee on the head and pulled his family in closer.
Kaylee glanced at him. "Was everything okay?"
Simon chuckled. "Oh, more than okay. The birth went..." he shook his head and laughed again. "Well, it went surprisingly well – and I mean that in the best way possible."
"What happened?"
"Just after the anesthesiologist put you under, you had a major contraction. Doctor Osumare waited a few minutes before starting the incision, to time the interval between contractions. Two minutes later, you had another big contraction and became fully dilated. At that point, she set aside the scalpel, and we just watched. Within ten minutes, you had three more contractions, and the baby started to crown. We stopped the anesthetic, and in a couple minutes you were just cogent enough to take the Doctor's coaching – though I'm guessing you don't remember. Three minutes later, you pushed her out." Simon nodded his head towards the obstetrician. "With a little help from Doctor Osumare, of course."
"It's the damnedest thing I ever saw," the obstetrician said from the foot of the bed. "And I've helped birth a lot of babies in the past thirty years. Your little girl there seemed to be waiting for something. Like a switch turned on, and she just up and finally decided she was ready to come out." Doctor Osumare tapped Kaylee's foot. "You rest easy now. We should be able to discharge you in a couple days." She smiled at her and nodded at Simon. "Doctor... Frye." She winked and left the room.
Kaylee lowered her voice. "Does she know?"
Simon offered a chagrined half-smile and nodded. "She asked to review my credentials, and I had to explain something of why contacting Osiris MedAcad would be dangerous to us. But it's okay," he added off Kaylee's concerned look. "I trust her. She won't turn me in, and she agreed to vouch for me to the hospital board. I should be able to start here just as soon as you two can spare me." He gently rubbed the hand holding their daughter.
Kaylee looked back at Jamie and took in a long breath. "So you've decided you want to stay?" she said, avoiding her husband's eye.
"Kaylee, I thought..." Simon shifted his seat on the bed to look directly at her. "Băo bèi, what's going on?"
Kaylee kept her eyes on the baby, who had fallen back asleep, lips pursed in a small pucker. "I thought I wanted to stay. Have Momma and Daddy help us raise Jamie. Give her a stable home planetside, just like I had. Like we both had."
"But you've changed your mind."
"I think I have."
"What brought this on?"
"I just... I been seeing her on Serenity. Seeing her have a life – an amazing life – on Serenity." Kaylee finally looked up to face her husband. "I think she belongs there, just as much as I do."
Simon stared intently at her, searching her face, and then dropped his gaze to the bed. She heard him sigh.
Kaylee started speaking quickly. "Simon, I know this sounds like I just wanna take her back to Serenity because I wanna go back. And I know you've got a good opportunity here, and I hate takin' that away from you. But you're needed on Serenity, too." She shifted the baby fully onto her left arm and reached out with her right to touch Simon's knee. "I promise you I am as scared about this idea as you are. Everything you said before – 'bout the danger out in the black, 'bout knowing her grandparents – that's all true. And we can come back here often as we can, to visit them. And if things get too bad, we can still come back permanent. But," she squeezed his knee and leaned in, "I honestly think she wants to be out there, 'spite it all."
"She told you that, did she?" Simon said, meeting her eyes again. He put a slight emphasis on "told," but his voice was merely curious.
She gave him a small coaxing grin. "I think so. I don't think I'm just being selfish and putting what I want on her. I think she really wants to live on Serenity."
Simon laughed and shook his head. "I don't think you could be selfish about anything if you tried, băo bèi." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, gently at first, but then deepening, reminding her of the connection between them, of what had started this family.
When he sat back, she whispered, "Does that mean you're okay with going back?"
He grasped her free hand and held it to his heart. "It means we are a family, and we need to be together." He shook his head again, a signal of resignation. "It seems all the women in my life insist on living on a rusting bucket of bolts out in the black, and I am not going to be able to convince them otherwise." There was a smile on his lips and a sparkle in his eyes.
Kaylee squelched her automatic hackles at Simon's teasing insult to her beloved ship. "You'll see," she said. "Jamie'll love it there, and it'll work out just fine. I know it will."
"Well, if you believe it, it must be true," he said, still grinning. "And truth be told, it may be best we go back, as well. Tempting as the position here might be, it's still risky. This hospital is the largest on Zephyr and brings in patients from all over the planet – and with the port, half the system, as well. I can't do my job if I am worrying that someone might recognize me and turn me in. Maybe someday, when the warrants are lifted..."
"I'm sorry it won't work out for you."
He shook his head. "It's alright." He shifted back to sit beside her and gathered Kaylee and Jamie into his arms again. "If I'm honest," he said softly, "I want to go back myself. I've gotten used to the old girl." He lay his head on hers and hugged them all closer. "Serenity is where my family is, so she's home."
Kaylee pressed a grateful kiss to Simon's cheek and burrowed her face into his neck. "Thank you, Simon," she breathed.
After another moment, she looked back to her daughter. She took a long breath to enjoy her growing family, and marveled again at the small child in her arms.
. . . . . . . . .
Kaylee's folks came in soon after to meet and adore their newest grandchild, but Simon shooed them out after a few minutes, to give Kaylee some much-needed rest. They promised to return later that morning with Kaylee's brothers and sister-in-law, and maybe some cousins as well. Simon left himself to go contact Serenity with the good news – both of the newest crewmember and their imminent return to the ship. Through it all, Kaylee held Jamie close, and when they were alone, she snuggled down beside her daughter.
She tried to stay awake and just watch the baby sleep, but the exertions of the past two days caught up with her, and she soon fell into a deep slumber herself. She did not dream, but she did not need to. It might be awhile, but she knew there would be countless more conversations with her daughter in the years to come.
~ END ~
Notes:
I have taken a few liberties with Kaylee's labor experience for the sake of the narrative, but most of the key elements (late breaking of the amniotic sac, long and slow labor, physician-assisted birth with a mother under anesthetic) have medical precedent. And while there can be real reasons not to allow an epidural or spinal block, the Lobachevsky's provided a convenient excuse and a call-back to the previous chapter. Mainly, I needed a reason to delay Kaylee's finally sleeping and having a last "conversation" with her daughter in utero before the birth.
This story, and this chapter in particular, took much inspiration from an episode of Northern Exposure in which a pregnant Shellie Tambeau "speaks" to her unborn baby at various stages of the girl's life; as it happens, that child's name was Miranda.
Feedback is very welcome. Thank you very much for reading!