Chapter 8

Ain't We Got Fun

The streets were glittering with red and blue lights. The bustle of medics and officers surrounded her and Noah as they stood in front of their apartment building. The air was cool, but not cold. She dropped the blanket they had given her onto the street as if she hadn't felt it. As if time stopped and nothing mattered. Olivia held onto Noah, who seemed more like a man than a boy at this moment. He had his one hand holding onto her tight grip and his other hand on her back reassuring her. He held her together, suddenly finding himself taking over the guardian position as he bravely pulled her shaking from the horrific murder in their front foyer. They watched the body bag roll past them. It was a scene Olivia had witnessed a thousand times, but this time it took her to an exceptionally dark place. Flashes of the blonde girl, Amelia, as a child, tied up next to her while William Lewis mocking Olivia as he forced the gun into her hand. Into her mouth. Into her soul. The deep burning cut in the back of her brain that she thought she had healed now spilled open like dark blood behind her eyes.

"Mom?," Noah softly tugged at her hand. He'd never seen her so shaken.

He pulled her away from the ambulance toward Fin's car.

"Come on, Mom. You're okay, Mom. You're okay."

Rollins jogged from the apartment over to the blue Sedan. She too was having flashbacks from the sight of the girl. She immediately recognized Amelia and it took her breath away.

"Liv," She stopped suddenly. She wanted to hug Olivia, but could see she was out of it. "Liv?"

"I…don't know…how," she muttered, holding back tears and rubbing her forehead. Lost in the haze or her exhaustion and the stress of it all.

"Don't think about it right now."

"Don't think about it! Ha! How am I supposed to do that!," She yelled and pulled herself from the car.

"Liv, don't do this to yourself. We need to get you and Noah out of here, so I'm going to put you in an unmarked van and we'll find you a place for the night. Should we call Kathleen or get you a hotel? Which-"

"Elliot…" she started in and then stopped herself, realizing Elliot was not at all able to handle any of this mentally and she needed to protect Noah ",I…need to call Elliot…my phone is…in there."

"It's okay. You can have mine," Rollins said and then led her back to the car.

"I guess…a hotel…would be fine."

Sargent Bell knocked on Elliot's hospital door.

"Come in," he muttered from the corner of the room.

He was out of bed looking up at the morning news.

"Oh, hey now, look at you up and about. Brought you some bagels," she attempted to smile but it faded at the site of his panicked face.

He turned quickly ", Where's Liv?"

"I…don't know. Hasn't Liv been here with you?"

Iona's brow furrowed with concern. She wasn't sure if he was about to have one of his mental outbursts or if he was truly upset for good reason, but she could feel the anxiety pouring off of his entire body.

"Why don't you sit," she started.

"She hasn't been answering her phone, and that," he said pointing at the headline story. "A woman was murdered in Liv's neighborhood."

He started to limp around the room to search for clothing in his bags.

"She hasn't called me back," He started to say. His weak voice sounding childlike. It matched his fragile demeanor. "I have to get out of here."

Iona touched his arm to calm him. "Elliot, hey, I'll find her. You can't leave yet. You-"

He pushed her and almost fell over his bad leg.

"No, I can, and I will."

He started ripping his IV off of his arm, and Iona grabbed his hand. "Elliot," she hushed. "Stop. You can't just leave. I haven't heard anything about this story. You shouldn't be watching the news anyway. It's all garbage."

Elliot started sobbing, due to his brain injury and Iona watched as the unfettered stubborn macho man she knew shrank into his bed like a withered flower. "I just need her. I need her now. And those horrible nurses won't let me out of here! They just take my blood and poke me."

Iona was in shock by the way he was acting. She rubbed his shoulder awkwardly and soothed him with her very limited motherly instincts. "I will find her. Okay. Shhh…just sit back down."

"Thank you," he sniffed and then pushed his wet face into the sleeve of her expensive blouse.

"Let me see your phone," she cringed at his snot and tears on her sleeve. "Maybe something is wrong with your signal."

He pulled himself together and tossed her his phone.

She flipped through the call list. "This is saying you have a bunch of missed calls from a 610 number."

"I don't know anyone from that number. I don't know what that is. Iona," he grabbed her hand seriously. "I know I've got to heal. My head is…it's not always right, but it's good enough. It's clear. You have to get me out of here. I can't be here."

"No, Elliot," she scolded his and then ignored his groans while she searched his phone.

"Bell…, please. It's been 3 weeks, I can't sit in this bed anymore. The nurse doesn't even take me to the bathroom. She just watches now. I can be doing this at my own house, in my own bed!"

"Elliot, stop, I can't discharge you."

She listened to the messages and Olivia's voice was the first to be heard. "It's me. I'm not going to make it over there tonight. Don't be worried. I'm okay. Everyone is okay. I will explain in person soon. Call me back in the morning. I love you. So much."

Iona now listened to Olivia sob through her goodbye and she scrunched up her face and clicked the phone off.

"What," Elliot said, noticing her face.

"Nothing, I'll go see what I can find out. Why don't you try calling again after I leave."

"Oh…are you leaving," he quivered.

"Eh…yeah," she was staring at him like he was pathetic and she was uncertain how to react, like at any moment he could snap back into the olde Elliot and say 'I got yeah', and they would laugh it off. But instead she backed to the door and said goodbye.

"I'll…be back."

Iona turned and saw his nurse putting on rubber gloves next to the door in the hallway. "Damn. I didn't realize what I was walking into."

"Yeah," the nurse smiled. "He's got a fine ass."

"Ah…," Iona flinched in disgust. "I…had only noticed the emotional outbursts."

"Oh yeah," she cracked her gum. "The brain injury patients are always like that. Like wild babies. A handful. He hates me today, but by the time he's ready to leave, he'll want to take me home."

"Doubtful," she mumbled, and clicked her phone on. "Rollins, it's Sargent Bell. You seen Benson?"

Olivia and Noah were awakened by Fin and Velasco.

"Sorry Cap," Fin noticed she was exceptionally out of it.

"It's fine. I just fell asleep when the sun came up, " she yawned.

She then nodded for Noah to go to the other hotel room while they spoke.

"Amelia lives in Ohio now," Fin started. "Or…lived. She was a school teacher."

"I know. We exchange Christmas cards every year."

Fin nodded, he could tell she was on the verge of rage or revenge, and he tread lightly with basic facts. "She left for work around 5pm, and never came home. We have local units investigating cameras at the school, but it's a small town. We're hitting a lot of walls. Did you notice anything unusual? Anyone following you? Anything at all?"

"No and if I did I would have said something," she shook, getting frustrated.

"Okay, just need to ask."

"No. There was nobody, Fin. I would have noticed. Right. Surely if I were being followed, I would have noticed."

"Maybe," he softly nodded.

She let her head fall and then walked away to hide the tears starting to form. "How did he know?"

Fin looked at Velasco in confusion. "How did who know what?"

"Whoever is doing this? They knew things…nobody would know…about this case."

"Like what," Fin asked.

"The Vodka. The brand of the vodka. The gash on the lip…and forehead. The burns. Whoever did this knew every detail of that case before they did it. Amelia was in witness protection."

Velasco watched her waiver and then pushed a chair over for her to sit in. "So what are we thinking, Cap? An inside job? Who would have a grudge this big?"

They watched Olivia spiral in deep thought. "I…I don't know. Maybe someone I collared got out. Maybe start there. I want video foot and log in sheet for the file room. Someone was looking at these case files. Someone knew about…what happened…"

"Okay, we're on this. Velasco and Bruno are on it. You...need to stay put."

"You know I can't do that," she whispered.

"Yes, you can. Because we are on this," Fin repeated.

"Are you?," she angrily questioned him.

"What's that tone for? I haven't slept a full night in 3 weeks."

"Yeah, well neither have I. And if you'd have been on it, you would have checked the file room log in sheet and cameras before I had to ask. You would have known I was being followed."

Fin sat across from her astonished by her nasty accusation. "Ah, I'm gonna let you get a few more hours of sleep, and maybe we can have a redo, but I bust my ass for you."

"Yeah, but I can't be holding your hand anymore, Fin. I can't do it all anymore. I can't be everythizg anymore. The Captain and the mom and the wife, and keep my eyes open for psychopaths, and answer to everyone all at once, all of the time. It's so hard. And I can't do it anymore. I…eh…I'm sorry..I'm just so….tired of…it all."

Fin nodded for Velasco to leave.

"Hey, Cap. Trust us. Trust me. We're going to make this right again. We got DNA. Did I tell you that?"

"No," she sobbed. "Results."

"Should know any minute. And yea know…maybe it's time for that sabbatical until we fix this mess." He then pulled her in for a much needed hug.

"Sabbatical. How bad is the apartment?"

"I don't suggest you go alone or stay there. We couldn't tell if you were being robbed or if Elliot's move in boxes were just taking over. They're all over your house in small piles. That shit is chaotic. I don't think I could take it."

"It's fine. Elliot will be home soon and we can make that decision together. It's…I'm….ha…who am I kidding. Look at me. How did this happen? We were so happy."

"You're still happy," he corrected. "You just fell into some kind of bad luck. This too shall pass."

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. "I look like a homeless person."

"Naw. You just need a long nap, a shower, and some time to think about where you can move to,becasue right now, Elliot can't even be at home. You let your squad fix the rest of your mess, you hear me."

"Loud and clear, Sargent," she smiled.

Kathleen stood in her bathroom looking at the sink. Her heart beat hard. The muffled sounds of Eli watching a loud movie in the other room could be heard through the door. She had taken three pregnancy tests and they all came back positive.

"Shit. I'm such an idiot."

She quickly tossed them in the trash can and then immediately changed the bag so that Eli wouldn't see them in there.

The sound of guns and car chasing glared as she opened the bathroom door.

"Eli!," she yelled. "Turn that down. I can't even hear myself think."

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"And why don't you get a job or leave the house or get friends. You're always here," Kathleen raged.

"What?"

"You're always here!," she yelled.

He clicked the television off. "You wanted me here! What, now you don't!"

She leaned on the kitchen counter in front of her. "No..I do..I just…I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm the only one taking care of dad, and it's….not easy! I'm sorry. Can you go to the hospital tomorrow? I have a ton of meetings at work tomorrow and Maureen and Dickie are also not able to."

"Fine," he shrugged. "You could have just said that to me though. You didn't need to yell."

The next morning when he got to the hospital his father was nowhere to be found. The nurse at the front desk rushed around to the door.

"Sweetheart! He was discharged."

"Discharged? When?"

"This morning. It was very abrupt. Police came in, packed up all of his things and wheeled him out."

"Police? Was Liv…or my stepmom…his wife. Was she there?"

"No. I don't think so. I thought they would have called you."

"It's unlike them not to."

Eli dug for his phone and called Olivia. Instead of her warm calm voice, he got a dail ton and an operator. "The number you have dialed is no longer in service."