Chapter 5. Trust

Content warning: Strong language, including profanity involving religion, which may be upsetting to the reader.

—-

It was quite interesting getting back to base with Steve leading the rescued PoWs. All the way there, first on foot, then picked up in trucks apparently sent by General Phillips, Bucky couldn't get over the changes in his friend. The guy was bigger than him now. Although Steve hadn't come right out to say what happened, he admitted to being involved in an experiment that transformed him into the muscular man who had single-handedly rescued 163 men, by Dugan's head count. It almost made what happened to Bucky in the factory worth it, even though he just wanted to forget about it, forget about the pain, the machine, and the annoying little man with the whining voice.

"Sarge, what did that doctor give you?" asked Dugan, at one point. "You could barely walk when they dragged you out of the cell."

"Drop it," he said to the corporal. "It must have been medicine because I felt better a couple of days later."

"Then why didn't they bring you back to the cells?" persisted the big man, trying to understand why Barnes seemed bothered.

"I said drop it," repeated Barnes with an edge to his voice. "That's an order. Nothing happened to me, okay? Nothing."

Even as he said it Bucky knew it wasn't true. Something had changed in him from the moment that Dr. Zola began injecting him with the blue liquid. It burned as it coursed through his system, filling him with a sensation of fire that felt like it was engulfing him, but there was no doubt that his broken ribs had begun healing by the next day. The cough, and bloody phlegm that he brought up before was gone within hours. Then they put him in that machine, with parts that covered the left side of his face, sending even more pain through his head as they turned it on and off repeatedly. Each time they turned it off they would ask him one thing.

"What is your name?"

He would answer with the same response, the only one that prisoners of war were obligated to say. "Barnes, James Buchanan, Sergeant, serial number 32557038."

Over and over again they would go through the same question and response routine, interspersed by the machine being placed over his head and the electrical charge applied to him, producing a piercing pain that sliced through his whole body. Only at night did he get any respite, when they would unshackle him from the treatment bed, drag him to another cell, with only a bucket in the corner for him to shit and piss into. Shortly after being dumped in the cell, the door would open and a plate of food placed on the floor for him, disgusting food that he wolfed down because he was so damn hungry. Intense hunger that he was feeling now.

The sound of cheering interrupted his thoughts, and he looked up to see they were entering the base camp, with hundreds of soldiers lining the roadway where they entered. As they piled out of the trucks and marched towards the centre of the camp, Steve looked back at him and grinned, gesturing with his head to follow. He led Bucky and the others over to where a dour faced senior officer stood, General Phillips, presumably. Even though Steve wasn't in uniform he saluted the general. The man just shook his head slightly as he gazed at Rogers and the others, his eyes resting on Barnes just a moment longer than the others.

"Captain, report," he said.

"Mission successful, sir," replied Steve. "163 rescued. One HYDRA base destroyed. Several tanks taken into custody, along with numerous HYDRA weapons and several power components, just like we expected."

Steve took something out of his pocket and showed the general. A dark-haired man with a moustache, his expensive suit seeming out of place in the rough environment, immediately stepped up, looking at the item with interest, before glancing at the general. With a start Bucky realized it was Howard Stark, the billionaire. He was standing less than 10 feet away from one of the richest men in the world.

"Go ahead, Stark," said the general. "Start your analysis of it." He looked at Rogers again. "Get the men to medical, get them fed, and we'll transport you to England to begin training your unit, Captain Rogers. Good work."

The general left with Stark, leaving behind a stunning brunette who walked up to Steve with a smile on her face. Bucky raked his eyes over her figure, wondering who she was then she opened her mouth and the most delicious British accent spilled from her lips.

"You're late," she said, smirking in an alluring manner to the blond soldier.

"We had to walk a long way before the rendezvous with the trucks," grinned Steve. He looked past her, as if he was looking for someone. "It went almost exactly like Grant said."

She smiled. "He's around here somewhere." Briefly, she looked at Barnes, raising his hopes for a moment then focused back on Steve, giving him a look that Bucky recognized all too well as something that he always used to get. "I'll see you later, Captain."

Steve turned back to the others. "Those of you with injuries get to the medical tent," he ordered. "Everyone else can pick up some clean clothes, hit the showers then the mess tent." He looked at Bucky. "Come on, I'll walk you to the medical tent."

"I'm fine," protested the dark-haired man, "really, I'm okay."

"Sergeant, I do outrank you," smiled Steve. "Consider it an order."

"Punk," grinned Bucky.

After getting the reluctant patient into the tent Steve was called away but he only left when he got his friend's promise to allow them to treat his injuries. As soon as Steve was out of earshot Bucky stood up to leave.

"Sit down, Sergeant," said a voice from the side, that sounded all too familiar to him.

"Steve, seriously, I'm fine," said Bucky, getting irritated at everyone's insistence that he get checked out.

"Bullshit," said Steven Grant, placing himself directly in Bucky's way.

"What the hell?" Bucky looked at Grant in surprise. "Who are you?"

"Who do you think I am?" asked Grant.

"I want to say Steve Rogers but you're different than him, older, darker hair ... different."

"You'd be right and wrong," said the other man. "I am Steve Rogers but I'm not from this timeline. Here I'm Special Agent Steven Grant of Army CIC, and yes, I just used my middle name as my new last name. I'm also 39, and I'm here for you, Bucky."

Bucky leaned forward and sniffed close to Grant's mouth. "You're not drunk," he said. "What do you mean, you're here for me?"

Grant gestured to Bucky to sit then pulled a chair up and regarded this younger version of the man he left behind in 2023.

"You remember The Time Machine by H.G. Wells?" he asked. "He went to the future, then returned to the past, then to the future again, armed with books to teach them how to build a society?"

"Yeah, you trying to tell me you're from the future?" Steven didn't respond, just kept looking at Bucky. "You're serious. Jesus H. Christ, Steve. Why should I believe you?"

"Because Zola injected you with the serum, then put you in the memory suppression machine," he said bluntly, noticing Bucky's surly reaction. "I tried to talk General Phillips into not sending the 107th into Azzano because you being captured and having the super soldier process started on you by that mad scientist was what I knew would happen. In my timeline, that alone set in motion a future for you that I promised to prevent. I already failed the first part so now I need you to understand that you can't keep what they did to you under wraps. It's not going to go away, Bucky. The super soldier process can't be stopped but if you'll let me, I'll help you get through it with your mind and body intact."

Bucky was angry and shook his head in disbelief at this man assuming that he had been changed.

"I don't believe you," he replied defiantly. "Yeah, he gave me some sort of medicine and it cured my pneumonia and helped to heal ..." Steven was shaking his head in disagreement. "What? You saying it didn't heal me?"

"Oh, it did, most definitely," answered Steven. "But it did it by changing your body so that it heals itself. Tell me something. Are you hungry?" Bucky looked blankly at him. "God damn it, Bucky, answer me. Are you hungry, hungrier than you've ever been, right now?" He nodded. "Your metabolism has been ramped up. Your body will burn through food and booze so fast that you'll be hungry again in an hour and you will never get drunk again. Cut your hand."

Bucky looked at him blankly again, so Steven picked up a scalpel, grabbed Bucky's hand and nicked the palm slightly before the younger man could pull it away. With a cry Bucky tried to push Steven away but it was like pushing an immovable object, as the man was built like a thick tree.

"What did you do that for?" he asked. "Have you gone crazy?"

"Look at your hand," said Steven. "Look at it."

Grimacing while he shook his head Bucky opened his hand and was amazed to see that the cut had already stopped bleeding. He watched with a perverse fascination as the edges of the tiny cut came together in a matter of seconds. Steven put some rubbing alcohol on some cotton batting and wiped the blood off. It should have hurt like hell, but it didn't because the cut was healed, and a small red mark was the only evidence of it.

"How?" Bucky's voice was a whisper now and he looked up at Steven with an almost terrified look in his eyes. "I'll always be like this?"

"Yeah," replied the other man, calmly. "Your body has already changed, and nothing will change it back. You're like me and Steve Rogers now, but not quite the same. HYDRA's serum is different, just not as good. I already talked to the scientist who changed me and Steve. He's worried that your serum wasn't as pure, so I need a sample of your blood to send to him. It's not like HYDRA cared how it affected you as they just wanted you to be their puppet. I do know you were the only man they were successful with in my timeline."

"I don't want this," declared Bucky. "I'm no hero. You don't know what it's been like."

"Actually, I do know," said Steven, gentler in his tone. "I fought alongside you from this moment until early 1945 and was too blind then to see what you were going through with this war and the changes in your body. It frightened you and made you think you weren't human, yet you still fought with us, still protected your team. You are still human. Your body is different but you're the same good man, Bucky. We need you to help stop HYDRA before they ever get to the level they were in my timeline."

"What happens in 1945?" asked Bucky.

Steven sighed. Bucky would pick up on that, but he didn't want to say what just yet, not until his friend accepted the changes in him.

"Let's just say something happens to both Steve and you that I will do all I can to prevent. Just being truthful about what Zola did to you will be important because it will change how things happened before."

"They'll think I'm a freak."

"No, they've already noticed changes and just want to know so they can help," said Steven. "I'll be around and so will Steve to make sure you're kept on as part of the team. But you have to be truthful about the changes happening to you, starting here and now. Please, I'm begging you."

A nurse came in with a tray to treat Bucky's facial abrasions. She looked expectantly at Grant, and he stepped back as a doctor stepped inside the cubicle.

"Sergeant how are you doing? I'm Major Lambert. We understand you were treated by a doctor while you were a prisoner. Was anything out of the ordinary done to you?"

A whole range of emotions played over Bucky's face while Grant stood in the shadows. It was obvious he wasn't going to speak on behalf of the sergeant but wanted him to speak up on his own.

"Yes," said Bucky, sounding defeated. "I was tortured by a device that gave me electrical shocks that hurt like hell. They also injected me with a blue liquid, several vials at least but I wasn't always conscious so I can't tell you how much."

"We've had reports of a HYDRA doctor doing just that to other PoWs," said the doctor shaking his head. "Some kind of experimentation but you seem to be the first to survive the treatment. If you'll let me examine you and take some blood, we'll clean you up and let you get back to your unit. Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

Bucky looked at Grant again, the dilemma clear on his face. Then he lowered his eyes and sighed.

"I had broken ribs and they healed within a day, a chest infection that was cleared up in hours, and I'm always hungry, ravenous, in fact."

The doctor examined the abrasions on Bucky's face, asking him questions about how they came about, noting they were already healed. He listened to Bucky's heart and chest, tested his reflexes, then instructed the nurse to take a vial of blood, to be sent on the next transport to England in a cooler. Before he left the doctor looked at the sergeant with compassion.

"If you notice anything else changing about your body please come and tell me or Lt. Hay immediately," said the doctor. "We are the only two medical personnel here who are cleared to examine you. If anyone else who does not have clearance questions you about it, you are not to discuss it. Whatever was done to you was done without your consent and is to be considered a war crime. Special Agent Grant, may I speak to you privately?"

"Bucky, I'll be right back," said Steven, leaving with the doctor.

Bucky watched the nurse as she put a tourniquet on him and inserted the needle, pulling a blood sample out. She was very conscientious with the task but kept her face neutral. When she finished getting the blood, she put some cotton batting on the insertion spot and asked Bucky to hold it in place. After several seconds she checked it and just by her expression Bucky knew she had seen this before as it was already healed. As she turned to leave, he placed his hand on her arm.

"You were there, when they changed Steve Rogers, weren't you?" he asked.

"I'm not permitted to talk about it," she said, kindly. Then she looked him in the eye. "It will be alright, Sergeant. You're in friendly hands now."

She did smile calmly at him, so he let her go, but he still felt uneasy and wondered if he had just consigned himself to the status of a lab rat. Steven Grant returned shortly after, passing Lt. Hay on her way out.

"They were both part of Project Rebirth, the project that changed Steve and me," he said to Bucky's unasked question. "They were sent here when Steve arrived to rescue you, just to perform this examination. They'll be coming back to England with us and examining your blood in a secure laboratory there, along with Dr. Erskine. He's the head scientist of the experiment."

"So, I am a lab rat," said Bucky, voicing his fear.

"If you believe that about yourself then nothing I say will change that perception," said Steven. "You were an experiment to Dr. Zola, but Dr. Erskine, Major Lambert and the other doctors only want to make sure that what was done to you won't harm you. They're hoping to determine how much of the HYDRA serum is in you and whether the serum Dr. Erskine developed can counteract some of the side effects."

"Lab rat," repeated Bucky then he stood up and glared at Steven. "Can I get showered and eat now?"

Steven stepped aside so Bucky could leave. It had all seemed so easy when he made the decision to focus on preventing Bucky's transformation. Now that it had happened, he had to deal with Bucky's natural stubborn nature. Funny how when they were growing up that stubbornness seemed a lot more adaptable than it was looking right now.

To Bucky's credit he joined the others for a meal after he showered and changed into clean clothes. He confirmed that he had been examined by the doctor and declared fit to rejoin the unit. As Grant watched them from another table, he was joined briefly by Steve Rogers who looked over at the small group of men who had been captured with Bucky.

"That's them, the team I'll assemble?" he asked. Grant nodded. "Did Bucky confirm the treatment?"

"He did but he wasn't happy about admitting to it," said the older man. "You're going to have to watch him, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

"You're not coming back to England with us?"

"Yes, but I'm forming my own unit," said Grant. "I have some people to find before HYDRA conscripts them. They're not willing Nazis either. Just brilliant people forced into servitude." He looked at his younger self. "You'll do alright. Just ... if there is any mission involving a train, don't let Bucky on it. Make sure he sees Dr. Erskine in England. Drag him yourself if you have to."

"Just what exactly did they do to him in your timeline?" asked Steve.

Grant looked at him sadly but shook his head. "Need to know at this moment but you'll both be enlightened at some point. You remember what Dr. Erskine said about how the serum affects a man? Bucky's afraid right now. If I tell him too much, then his body will feed off that fear. We need him, Steve. We have to make sure they don't do this to anyone else either, which means we take HYDRA completely out well before the end of this decade."

Rogers left to sit with Bucky at the other table. Grant smiled, watching the other members of what would become the Howling Commandos poking fun at each other. It was good to see them again and he almost envied Steve Rogers for getting to work with them.

"That's the group, huh?" asked another voice as Corporal Rose sat next to him with his food tray. "Looks like a motley crew to me."

"They were," said Steven. "But they were good at their jobs and their different backgrounds meshed very well together. I would have loved to have had them in the future with me." He pushed his tray away, thinking of the SHIELD STRIKE team that betrayed him, determined to personally make sure all members of this new team could be trusted. "We'll be going to England on the transport with them but once we get there, we have a couple of people to see. They come highly recommended, but I want to meet them first before I decide. What about the ones you were looking into?"

"One of them is here on the base," replied Rose. "He was part of the group that was rescued. I'm pretty sure he'll be interested in some payback. The other is in a military prison in England." Grant frowned while Rose shrugged. "He's a thief by trade but we'll need him to get into secure places. There's no one else with his skills that I trust."

"Alright, let's go see the one still here," said Grant. "I'll have to get the general to okay his transfer."

Both men got up, leaving the mess tent, a motion that was noticed by Bucky and Steve. A deep sigh from Bucky drew Steve's attention.

"What?" he asked.

"I don't trust him," said Bucky.

Steve smirked. "He's me. What's not to trust?"

"He's not you, not the Steve I know. However long he was ... there ... changed him and I don't recognize him anymore."

"Bucky, he told me exactly where to find you," said Steve. "He's worried about you because in his time you were afraid to tell him or anyone what they did to you. Apparently, that meant assumptions were made that affected you. That's not a mistake I'm going to repeat."

"Did he tell you everything that happened to me in his time?" asked Bucky. "What was so bad that he felt compelled to return to the past? What is he trying to undo, especially with me?"

The last sentence was said with such vehemence that the others noticed and stopped talking, looking at Bucky and Steve questioningly.

"It's alright," said Steve, standing up and pulling Bucky with him. "He's just tired after everything that's gone down. We'll see you all at 08:00 tomorrow for transport to the airfield."

"Sure, Cap," replied Dum Dum, watching Bucky carefully. "Sarge, get some rest. We've got your back."

Bucky nodded and smiled slightly at the big man, then he and Steve headed out of the mess tent and towards Steve's tent. When they got inside, Steve looked out briefly to make sure no one was nearby then he pulled the flap closed and glared at his friend.

"What the hell has got into you?" he demanded. "He hasn't told us everything because right now it's need to know."

"But it's about me," hissed Bucky. "What did HYDRA do to me that was so terrible that a future version of you was willing to change the past by coming back? Him just being here has changed things. He's keeping a lot of secrets from us, and I don't like it."

It was true that Steve thought they could both be kept more in the loop but so far everything his double said would happen had happened. Maybe not exactly as Grant prepared him for but that could be because his presence in this past had changed things already. Grant had indicated that Bucky could be emotionally affected by the trauma of being experimented on and tortured. He called it something long and drawn out, post-traumatic stress disorder. Perhaps this was what was bothering Bucky more than anything. Never did Steve Rogers ever expect that he would be the one offering comfort to Bucky Barnes as it had always been the other way around. But he would do it; he would stand with Bucky anywhere, anytime and if that meant he had to help him deal with his issues, then so be it. Until the end of the line.