I was an angry cunt and dangerous. I once again put my studies on hiatus and went off to do gigs. Oh my God, what a focused rage or a good fucking feeling gives. We got a lot of gigs planned and one Sark's facility. Oh that this would go down. Brutus, Lucy, Jim, Neil, Lance. Leroy, Yvette. Rick, Liam. Bobby, Harper. Me and ten of my trusted traders. We would do it and again put one of Sark's facilities out of commission. There were casualties, but not that many, so we agreed that I would go to the rescue again Brutus, Jim, Neill, and Leroy would be the breakers Lucy and Lance, the collectors, Rick and Liam, then move whoever I could to safety. Harper was our driver and Bobby was my backup. I would have two floors to go and the victims were about 20-30 but it would be a tolerable number. We had everything ready and everyone had their gear in place. We got near the facility and I was signaled to go in. Again, I had checked earlier with the drone to make sure the victims could be found and everything was clear.

I went in and these were shapeshifters. The first was a large blond man who appeared to be sedated and in strong restraints. Well, they weren't so strong that I couldn't break them, I unhooked all the hoses and wires. put my hand in front of his mouth again and squeezed his ear, the man opened his golden eyes and looked at me for a moment. I said "I'm here to save you, believe it or not, I'm a flea. I will give you my blood soon and it will help a lot. " I bit my wrist open and let the man lick it. Soon he caught me and gave me a good drink, he took a deep breath and said "I'm Curran, the lion. How can I ever help you?" I smiled and directed the man to the transporters. I moved on to the next shifter. Same thing. After I had gotten everyone free shots rang out and I asked into the microphone " What's the situation, where's the shootout?" Nobody answered right away. After a while, Harper said, " Everyone who was rescued is safe but there are a lot of people here." I said to Harper " Get out of here, get the people to safety, we'll be fine. Come back then."

I knew that our safety point was pretty close and no one would get there. I said into the microphone "It's the flea, I just gave the order to take the rescued away, and now we just have to wait for a ride, back off if you can, I'm on my way," I was just about to go out the front door when I heard a shot behind me and turned to look. Bobby was lying on the ground with a bullet hole in the middle of his forehead. Oh fuck. I ran off and found shelter outside. I saw the shooter and fired at him. I saw Lance dragging one of my team members behind him. They tried to hide, but a shot rang out and Lance fell and never got up. I shot the shooter every chance I got.

I moved to the next location and saw Brutus, who was up against one wall. I went over to him and smelled the blood. The bullet had hit the armhole in the vest and was now somewhere in Brutus' stomach. I knew that my blood alone wouldn't help if I couldn't get the bullet out, because even if my blood healed, the bullet could still move and kill Brutus. I said to Brutus. "I have to try and dig that bullet out. You won't make it otherwise. " Brutus looked at me and said " Don't bother. " then he sighed and his eyes glazed over and I could no longer hear a heartbeat. oh fuck. I ran over to Lance and saw that he had tried to save Lucy, who was coughing weakly. Lucy's neck was bloody and again I had to watch a friend of mine die at my hands. Why couldn't my blood help, why did I have to be too late? Lucy could have survived if I had come to her immediately. Rick ran out one door and again I was too late when the shooter on the roof killed another Flea. I couldn't get the guy off the roof, he was too well protected. Sark came out and he had Liam in his grip. He yelled "Surrender and maybe one of your team will survive to join you. " I watched as the guards dragged the other two dead men out. Liam made some moves to try and get Sark down and Sark shot Liam. All except Harper. I ran into the woods because I saw Sark holding a tranquilizer gun and I wasn't about to give in to the prey.

I ran into the woods and got away because this was also part of the plan. The escape routes. I arrived at the safe house at dawn and stripped off my gear. I was alone because Harper had taken the gang elsewhere and had a family. I took a shower and updated my group. Dead. I put the money payments in place and thought, I want to always remember everyone, we should have one of those secret plaques where every lost flea from now on is recorded. We had had very few deaths so far and I hoped this gig wouldn't start a new trend. I felt so fucking alone and wished there was someone to talk to. Then it hit me.

I had learned over the year that I had someone. And it was a very bad thing to learn at least in my life because I didn't have anyone now. When I needed one. Now would have been a very good time to go into the arms and just be there, but no. my life. I'm shown something wonderful, something perfect and then I get to taste it. And then when I need it, they take it away from me. It's a weakness and I can't afford them because I need to have my focus completely on me and not dream of lying on Salvatore's lap on the couch. I think there are other females lying there already. They probably fuck in the master bedrooms. I stayed in the safe house for a day and then I left for Atlanta. I went to a stone shop and bought a beautiful slab of granite. I had already bought the carving tools earlier and carved the slab, all of whom had died in the Fleas. The slab was big because I knew those nine wouldn't be the only losses, as awful as that philosophy seems, I just hoped the slab would last for decades.

Then there in Atlanta, I found the perfect place. Lake Lanier. I wandered around it for a while and then I found a good spot for our slab. It was hidden in a hole in the rock and I memorized it. I had gotten a large stone slab, where I had carved in cryptic language the names and dates of death of all the fleas that had died so far. Now there were nine more names. I hid the slab, hoping I wouldn't have to come back right away to add names. I was in Atlanta for a week and Adam called to say the females had been thrown out of the pack, Salvatore had wandered off somewhere and he was very sorry. When Adam asked me what I had done. I didn't tell him about the job. I'm never going to tell anybody about it.

I learned at that point that it's better to just be strong and not show your weaknesses because someone might take advantage of them. I had just told Magnum that the gig went a bit wrong and people were lost. He didn't ask any more questions because somehow I felt that Magnum knew what I was actually talking about. I didn't doubt that Adam knew too, but I didn't want to be comforted now. That time had passed.

I continued to chase incubus and succubus because I was told the farms were still being found and they had apparently not got my message. Within a week I spotted my shadow. I went into the alley and said in my head. " Come out, Salvatore, and don't sneak out there hiding." Damon walked into the alley and said "I was wrong about the women - don't worry we didn't use the main bedrooms. " Somehow that sentence broke my heart and I didn't even understand why. After a moment I understood. Because this was the Damon who had been with me in England and now he was openly admitting to fucking others

. I shouldn't make any assumptions, even if we had the most wonderful time in the world, Salvatore is a fuck machine. He is and always will be. I looked at Damon and said "I'm still not in the pack, so it doesn't matter to me. I'm in the middle of a job, if you can let me get back to work." Damon looked at me for a moment and said " Something has happened to you, you have a shell. Strong. But I can't see what because you've hidden it. Come on Mimi. Tell me. I can help. I looked at Damon for a moment and said " Just let it go." I walked past him and kept going. Some part of me screamed " You should have told Damon," that same part of me fervently hoped that Damon would walk right up to me and catch me and make me tell him. I walked for a while and when I looked back there was no one there. I was alone. As is best.

I went on with the gigs. The incubi would probably start getting the message soon. I had also added a new little thing here. We sold jewelry that allowed people to identify an incubus. We told the truth about them with the help of a couple of rescued people. Oh, yeah. Damon used to follow me from time to time, but now he never came to see me anymore, even though I went to the alley a couple of times to wait for him. It had been a month since the show and I still hadn't rejoined the pack. I was on my way to my car when the song played in the shop. Alice Cooper's Poison. I froze in place, and all I could do was shake in horror. When the song ended, I got into my car and gasped. It had been horrible. Sheer fear and terror all the time. no relief. But it was over.

When I went back to the hotel, Bran called and begged me to come back to the pack. I agreed because I couldn't stand to fight. We had made a lot of progress with incubus and succubus and it was showing in people's daily lives. people were daring to be out, to go to bars to meet others. Then I found out about the demons and decided to focus on them again. i wasn't personally killing them but for example, the Fae were contacting us because the demons were capturing them and eating or otherwise killing them. Fae is not easy to kill. I knew that myself and if there are such naughty demons out there, what's to stop them from coming after us? They'd have to be given a good show.

I planned several demonic attacks and set up a couple more groups for that purpose. I knew that Adam and Magnum were doing the flea business but they weren't part of the demon squad as I called it. Then another gig came up for us. In Texas. A big facility with over 100 Fae held captive. The division was in Nevada and we had limited time, so I decided to do the gig. I'd be a rescuer again, not a slayer. Yes, but I would bring my guns and daggers if need be. I'd fucking blow the fucking programming away. This was going to be a demanding gig and we planned it for two weeks. Then it was showtime. There must have been close to 30 of us at the gig and we went in.

Now the demons don't have surveillance cameras or armed guards. There were demons walking around the yard all the time. I let the exterminators clear a path for us to get in. The fae I started rescuing was very special. They were in human form chained to a bed and when I unchained them when I removed the shackles and the drugs, they became light energy. They were energy fae and very special. We released over 200 of them. They were very grateful and they would help wherever they could. This leader that I released told me " We are energy, if you ever need us, we will help. We don't mind if we change into another energy. We are always there no matter what our energy is. We are the swarm. We have shared memories and we are not individuals so much as a swarm." The transporters got the faes well all the way forward, but I had to pop that programming off pretty early on and Oh my god it hurt. I didn't care, no matter how hard my stomach hurt when I killed demons. Then the pain started to subside until it disappeared completely. These were tricky demons to kill and I got hit a couple myself.

We killed an estimated 500 demons, me closer to 100. I got a couple of demon blades and then one satan sliced through my body armor. The slash started at my right shoulder and ended around my left hip. I got a cover put on it and thought I'd take a better look at it at the base. Magnum had come along for the gig when we had a shortage of fleas and I noticed his worried, questioning look as I tied my vest back on. Magnum went in another car and I jumped in the other car. I was fucking happy with the whole gig. Nobody died except the bad guys, we saved a lot.