Secrets of the Platypus – part 2

Even as they entered the elevator Carl still didn't reveal where they were going.

The building had only three floors, two of which were office rooms and one a cafeteria. But Carl didn't press any of the buttons. Instead, he pulled out an ID card, pressed it against the panel, and a new set of buttons appeared below just like magic. Vanessa watched the light descend until it passed the ground floor and reached the basement.

"And this is where we keep all the cool stuff!"

The doors opened and they entered what appeared to be an underground parking lot, or rather a large, well-lit garage. Cars of all kinds, from those reminiscent of the Roaring Twenties to ones that seemed to be brought straight from the future, were lined up side by side, and several interns in oil-stained coveralls were bustling about. Various sonic jets and giant mechs with animal characteristics filled the rest of the room. The horn of the rhinoceros almost scraped the ceiling, and the alligator's tail stretched to the back wall.

"All of our vehicles and weapons, regardless of type or era of origin use the same type of energy," Carl said stopping in front of a display unit crammed with what appeared to be blue lava lamps.

"Hey, they're like that Pizzazzium-thing Dad wanted!" Vanessa said.

"Yeah, it's a really rare substance. We call it Chemical Z or Shadow Light because even though it emits a faint glow it helps us remain virtually undetectable. Thanks to it our vehicles never show up on radar and weapons are easy to hide. I think you can only imagine what would happen if it got into the wrong hands."

"Hmm, I guess that's the kind of thing the Great White didn't want me to know about," Vanessa said on their way back to the elevator. "Are you sure this is the best place to start? Aren't you worried that I might turn on you? We barely even know each other."

"Well, if Agent P trusts you, then so do I," Carl said as he pressed the next button.

"And Monty?"

"I wouldn't trust a word he says," said Carl bluntly. "Speaking of which... Here are the junior and apprentice training rooms, as well as various sports facilities for the rest of the agents."

They had stepped into a hallway lined with doors hiding classrooms not so much different from Vanessa's high school, but also gyms and aerobics, swimming pools, and dojos which were mostly deserted at the moment.

They found Monty in one of the weight rooms, hitting a punching bag. He turned to greet them and the bag smacked him in the shoulder, sending him down to Vanessa's feet.

"Hi!" Monty said, clumsily waving at her.

Vanessa shook her head and helped him up.

"I usually find you in the gym," Carl mentioned.

"I know. Agent P said I need to practice outside my comfort zone. He's been sent on quite a few solo missions lately. They usually take him till the end of the day and then he stops by to check on me."

"Oh, then maybe we shouldn't keep you," Vanessa said.

"Nah, it's okay. Actually, he's pretty chill when we're not on the field. I wouldn't want to miss on my girlfriend's first tour anyway," Monty said playfully booping her nose and making Carl wrinkle his in discomfort. "Ah, I remember when Dad first brought me here, only I didn't have access to all of this until now."

"Monty is at a bit of a disadvantage because he skipped the junior initiation program," Carl explained.

"The what?"

"Each year about five to ten fourteen-year-olds are selected from different parts of the world," said Monty, "but only those who have already proven they have outstanding qualities, whether physical or intellectual, only the best of the best! After graduating, some are taken under the wing of already accomplished field agents, others become scientists and inventors in the Research Department, and the rest usually end up in office work, although they are also sometimes sent out into the field on missions with minor stakes."

"And I thought high school was demanding," said Vanessa.

"Well, there's the High School without a Cool Acronym. It's for people who know about OWCA's existence but rarely get involved after graduation unless we need someone from the inside. I had no initial training except for the acrobatics classes Dad enrolled me in. That's why Agent P thinks it's important I catch up."

Monty pushed another button, and before the elevator doors could properly open, the ground beneath their feet began to rumble.

"Vanessa, welcome to the extreme training level!"

Monty took her hand and pulled her to a circuit of motorcycles jumping over dirt dunes, ramps and even through rings entirely made of fire.

"You know, this place is a lot bigger on the inside," she remarked.

"I know, isn't it great?"

"This is where the obstacle courses are, but it's also where we test the new vehicles," added Carl.

Some of the obstacles also involved lasers or real sharks and crocodiles, and Monty mentioned something about a Paintball field where they sometimes tested actual weapons.

"Is there more?" Vanessa asked as the elevator descended further underground.

"Actually that's what I wanted to show you," Carl said. "Introducing the Research Department without a Cool Acronym, or RDWCA for short!"

Vanessa stepped onto a shiny floor and before she could ask what was up with the used fire extinguishers piled by the door, a loud bang shook the room and several fire alarms went off at the same moment.

"Oh, not this again!" Carl grunted and bolted in the direction of the noise.

They passed through a giant sliding metal door and entered a spacious laboratory where several people in white coats were scrambling about, trying to put out the flames around what appeared to be a tanning bed connected to a huge metal box by several semi-transparent tubes.

"This is the third failed attempt this week to improve the Copy Paste-inator," said Carl, "well, at least no one got fried this time."

"Wait, the Copy Paste-inator?" Vanessa glanced around, and sure enough, she could recognize the Freez-inator as well as the Melt-Inator 6-5000, the Devaporator and the Termite Control Helmet, and even the Chicken Replace-inator. Almost all of her father's inventions seemed to be stored there in various stages of reassembly. "I don't get it."

"That's what I've been meaning to tell you," Carl said. "Each Secret Agent assigned to an evil scientist is tasked with scanning each of their inventions so that our own scientists can reconstruct them in hopes of putting them to good use."

"Wait, so you're saying Perry's been doing this all this time and Dad had no idea?"

"Come on, Vanessa," Monty said. "Do you really think an agent of his caliber couldn't have turned him in from day one? Why do you think we let all these scientists roam free around Danville?"

"I don't think I ever thought about that," Vanessa said, running her finger over the helmet Perry once used to control her father, turning him into the coolest DJ and simultaneously saving her teenage reputation. "I thought he was just trying to help us."

"Who? Agent P?" Carl asked. "Well, every agent has the right to apprehend their scientist if they think he's gone too far. Major Monogram believes that Doofenshmirtz has crossed the line on several occasions, but Agent P has decided to give him another chance each time. Even the other agents began to wonder if the doctor's madness wasn't somehow contagious, but few would have dared to say it to his face."

Vanessa didn't know what to think. If her father had found out he would have felt used for sure, betrayed even. But she couldn't deny the fact that he had broken the law on several occasions. Whether he did it on purpose or not, his inventions had put countless lives at risk, including his own. Perry was just doing his job. He protected people, he even protected her Dad.

"Do you really think his inators can be used for good?" she asked in a hopeful voice as they returned to the elevator once the sprinklers had died down.

"Once we solve the self-destruct problem, I don't see why not," Carl said.

"There's two more levels," Vanessa noticed.

"Well, this one here's the hospital," said Monty, "but you wouldn't want to be there."

"And the last one is the energy room and it's with limited access," said Carl. "That's where we keep the power source that generates Chemical Z."

Monty leaned against the wall and slid his arm around Vanessa's shoulders, "Hey, have you seen the cafeteria yet? Don't know about you guys but I'm starved!"

"Oh, hang on," said Carl, checking his wrist communicator, "I've just received a notification from Major Monogram. Good news, looks like you already got an assignment, Vanessa. It's...oh."

"What?"

Perry paced his office back and forth, stopping every now and then to stare at a random piece of furniture. Vanessa was going to need a desk of her own, but he wasn't even sure if they had room for it. At that moment he felt his phone vibrating.

"Hi, where did you get this number?"

"Perry the Platypus is this how you greet your elders?" asked a raspy voice.

"I said hi, didn't I? This better be important."

"Vanessa just texted me. She said she was assigned as your new personal assistant. Is that true, Perry the Platypus?"

"Oh." Perry tightened his grip on the phone. "Listen, this wasn't my idea!"

"Oh, but I think it's a wonderful idea!" said Doofenshmirtz.

"You do?"

"Sure! Perry the Platypus you are the only person at OWCA I can really trust. I know you'll take good care of my little baby girl!"

"Oh, yes, of course, you have my word," Perry said and dropped to his usual serious voice, "I'll protect Vanessa with my life! And my afterlife if it comes to it."

"Wow, Perry the Platypus, I forgot how intense you can get sometimes. I mean, sheesh, talk about commitment..."

The door opened with a faint swish. "Okay, if that's all, I'll call you back," Perry said and threw his phone on one of the velvet armchairs.

"Wow, this office is almost fancier than Uncle Roger's!" was Vanessa's first reaction.

Perry winced. "Please don't say that."

"Isn't it great?" Monty asked, jumping into view. "Now we can always hang out. Just the three of us! Oh, and Carl too, I guess…"

Carl did not look amused.

"So where do we begin?"

Perry looked at Vanessa in surprise. "You mean... you're actually okay with this?"

Vanessa gave him a reassuring smile, "Of course. Monty's right, this is gonna be fun!"

"Well… alright then, you can sit wherever you want until we make the necessary arrangements."

Vanessa nodded. "So what do you want me to do first?"

"Well uh, you can, um..." Perry took a quick look around. "You can feed the fish," and he handed her the small container sitting on his desk.

Vanessa looked for a moment at the tiny fish swimming lazily, occasionally releasing bubbles that stuck to the glass surface.

"Seriously?"

"For now at least, sorry," Perry said, dropping his shoulders, "I don't usually give orders. I just follow them."

"That's sad," Vanessa said.

"Monty, weren't you supposed to be training?" Perry asked in genuine confusion.

"Yeah, I got hungry."

"Well, I guess you shouldn't train on an empty stomach. Do you want me to make you a sandwich?"

"Would I?"

"Guys!" Vanessa interrupted. "Perry, didn't you have anything more important to do?"

"I..." As if on cue, his wrist communicator started beeping, sending out his new coordinates, "Europe. This shouldn't be long. Maybe you can settle in until I get back."

"Oh great, look what you've done," Monty whined, watching Perry hurry out the door. "There goes my sandwich!"

Vanessa rolled her eyes then handed Monty a pile of papers.

"What are these for?" he asked.

"I don't think Perry will mind if we go ahead and tidy things up a little bit."

"Oh, fine," Monty said and sat down on the floor where they started sorting through old reports, "Not exactly how I imagined our first day as co-workers would go."