A/N: We're baaack!

I said I'd wait for the DLC and I did.

So let's get the disclaimer out the way. SPOILERS FOR RUIN.

Now my computer is just about broken, but its still good for typing...for now. Working my way back to longer chapters for these.

With my fifteen year anniversary on this site finally here, I find myself reflecting on the little things in life. What was once a lazy pastime meant for me and a few friends really grew and evolved over time. There are days when I look back on the last fifteen years here and I wonder if anyone will remember me; if I made an impact, despite never making a single cent on any of these stories. Some days were happier than others, and some stories I enjoyed writing WAY too much; to the point where I'd stay up all night working on them.

And of course, there are times when I look to the future and wonder what will become of things when I'm gone.

Of course, I try not to dwell on the latter overmuch; I'm still alive and still writing. In an ideal world, I'd like to keep doing so for as long as I can. But old age is catching up to me and these days, the world is filled with so much madness and death. Feels like everyone's lost their minds sometimes. Even before that, so many friends and fellow writers I once knew are gone, now. Will I still be here in twenty years? Ten? Five? Its a chilling thought. But for now, I'm still here, still writing.

So here we go. The fate of this story depends on you, the reader. Your feedback determines the fate of this tale, and many others.

As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. They're tributes to legends far greater than I.

I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild world, one word at a time.

Time and feedback will determine if this remains a story. Simple as that.

In other words...its up to YOU, the reader. Do let me know~!

"Hear that, Monty?

That's the sound of CONTENT.

Also the sound of your death. Funny how that works."

~?

Whack-a-Gator

Sometimes Roxy wondered if she was going mad.

If this was all some crazy fever dream she'd wake up from at any given moment. Being human was one thing, but being human also meant she felt things, things like pain...and other stuff she didn't understand. Her eyes ached and she closed them, rubbing at her lids. Weird. Why would her eyes hurt? Her vision was blurry. She scowled but the feeling persisted.

A hand settled on her shoulder. "You gotta blink. Your eyes are dry.

Did she? Blinking had always been a function when she was an animatronic, but it was just something she did. It had never been vital before.

Was that why her eyes hurt?

She tried blinking, but the awful scratchy feeling persisted. "I don't like this. Fix it."

Naruto snorted. She glared at him for it, and must've looked pitiful; because he took pity on her.

"Here." he tilted her chin up and she let him -not like she had any choice- hold something over her eyes. "Hold still, now...

"Touchy bastard."

He scoffed in return. "Wild wolf."

Something wet hit her irritated orbs, eliciting a flinch from her.

Yah!?" she yelped and squirmed in his grasp, but he held fast. "What the heck are those?! Quit it! They feel weird!"

Naruto most assuredly did not; he locked one arm around her waist. She went absolutely berserk, scratching and clawing at him, driving elbows into his side, knees into his legs, all in vain. May as well have punched a red brick wall for all the good it did her. Her held her tight and kept applying those weird drop-things until he finished.

Finally, he let her go.

The very moment he did She squirmed away and glared bloody red daggers at him. "What was that?!"

"They're just eyedrops, silly. Humans use them all the time. That's what you wanted, right?" he stowed the vial in his pouch. "Relief?"

Her heart bleated. What she wanted? She wanted more than relief. Relief was fleeting. Transient. Temporary at best.

She wanted to be happy! To be number one! To be loved!

...what I wanted, huh?" She shoved the moment of weakness down and looked to Chica, even now watching her humanized counterpart tear through another box of pizza with gusto. Hard to believe she'd been trying to peck his eyes out only a few hours ago. "Is that how you calmed her down? By giving her what she wanted?"

"More or less." The wayward whiskered warrior offer her a shrug. "There's not a single problem in this world that can't be solved with good drink and some stodgy food."

Roxanned planted a fist on her hip -still strange that she could feel it- and glared his way. "And how would you know...?"

"God, remember?" he tapped his forehead. This ain't my first rodeo, ya know. Speaking of which, you good?"

Was she? Roxanne wasn't sure. She felt better, but she was still more than a little sulky. Being human was...a rollercoaster ride. Yeah, that was the best term she could think of. She'd always been emotional before, but having a flesh-and-bloody body had cranked the dial right up to ten for her. Sometimes she liked it. Most times she didn't. Her head hurt, her heart was beating so damn fast, and she kept finding her gaze drawn to this utterly exasperating blond.

She missed Cassie.

Cassie would've been able to help her sort this out.

Wait, wait, wait a damn hopscotch minute. Who was Cassie?

"Roxy?"

"M'fine." she looked away with a glower, idly rubbing at her eyes. "I'm the best."

"Damn right you are. Have another slice of pizza." he gave her back a pat, making her jump. "In fact, have a whole pie."

That...sounded like a very good idea right about now. Better than moping at least.

"Oi, Chica!" She stomped over. "Mind sharing some of that?

"You'll never take me alive!"

"I ain't trying to fight, ya ditzy bird! Now share!

She was so preoccupied with Chica that she never noticed Naruto slipping away.

(.0.0.0.)

Something was wrong.

Monty felt it in his bones, or, well, what passed for bones.

Well, he was an animatronic, so he didn't have bones, but still. You got the point.

He'd had this awful nagging feeling for the last few minutes, one that had only grown stronger as he stormed through the Pizzaplex. He couldn't find that damn Kid anywhere, and Freddy was nowhere to be seen. Damned bear. Maybe he should've broken him, too. Yeah, then he'd be the lead, he'd be top gator around-

A bloodcurdling shriek pierced the air.

On the security bots fell from the ceiling and struck the floor ahead of him. It struck the ground, stretched an arm out toward him, eyes imploring him for aid. As if he'd give it. Before he could even cotemplete stomping on its head A clawed hand latched onto its wheels and dragged it screaming back into the darkness.

"Montyyyyy~!" a voice crooned from the shadows. "Where are you, Monty...? Come out, come out, wherever you are...

His nerve broke.

Nope! Not messing with that, no sir, no thank you, no sireee! All kinds of nope!

"Now, now, you can't run away. This has been a long time coming. You're next on my list you see, and I've never been one to leave things unfinished." the shadows crept closer. "So ya like being a bully, do ya? You like being scary. Alright. Lets get scary."

Movement behind him.

He whirled and raked his claws across their face.

A horned man bearing blue eyes and whiskered cheeks grinned back at him with a bloody visage. The wounds healed even as he looked on.

"That's it? You're nothing special after all." He tutted softly, raised a hand...and snapped his fingers. "Lights out."

With an awful keening whine, the world plunged into darkness.

Monty stumbled back, reeling.

"We are gathered here today for a funeral." his voice seemed to fill every corner of the room, swelling from the floor, rising from the ceiling, bounding off the very walls themselves. "Care to guess whose? "

Something slammed into his chest. Metal shattered, sending him sprawling.

"I'm not going to stop with shattering you." Another blow rocked him back on his heels before a third dashed him against a wall. "I'm going to break you, boil you, and bake you. In a word, you're going to be be a Ruin of your former self. And then you will die. I wish I could say its nothing personal but it is. This is very personal. After all, there can be no success with without failure. But you know all about that, don't you. And I know what you did to Bonnie...

Monty bridled. Damn dirty rabbit, haunting him even now. Yeah, he'd smashed him. So what? "He was holding me back."

"Sure he was. But what does that make you, failure?"

Monty clutched at his head. "I ain't a failure!"

Laughter answered. "You are. Take it from someone who knows."

"LIKE HELL I AM!"

"Failure."

"Stop."

Failure.

"I said stop!"

Failure.

"STOP DAMN YOU!" he whirled, claws rending empty air. "Show yerself!"

No one there.

"Ya know, I thought about saving you," the stranger's voice echoed in the ether, "But there's nothing left to save, is there? You've become too corrupt. Even giving you a human body wouldn't change anything. I'd have to completely reboot you, scoop out your personality and make you someone else. But then you wouldn't be you." a soft tutting noise echoed directly behind him. "You're a bully through and through. And so we'll start with the legs."

The world went sideways with an awful crack.

His body struck the ground and his shades went flying.

Against his better judgement, he looked down and saw his ruined torso. "What are you?!"

"A fixer." came the answer. "I fix problems. Errors. Mistakes, if you will. You're all three of those. Arm."

He felt a boot bash down, taking his rightmost limb.

"Aaaargh!"

"Sometimes one can fix problems by talking." A light snapped on behind him. He glimpsed a hand, revealing an image of Roxy further out. "Sometimes one can help by treating someone to a meal." Another palm swept out, and sure enough another light arose in the dark, indicating Chica. "And sometimes...his hands came together with a sharp pop, making the gator flinch. You can help by pulling up weeds. Care to guess what you are?"

A light on the left, a light on the right, yet no hope in sight

"That's right. We're going to play whack a gator."

A hand closed around his throat.

Blue eyes filled his vision.

"Tag. You're it."

A/N: Buh-Bye, Monty.

Shaking off the rust, don't mind me.

As ever, the Embers rule persists. If folks don't like this? Well...I'll not continue it. So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do! That's no joke. I don't have days off anymore -two jobs will do that to you- and I'm working myself to the bone.

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?

Hope you enjoy the previews!

(Previews!)

"Oh, so you can mimic my voice. Great, great. No, really, that's something. Lets see if you can mimic THIS."

A fist thundered up under its chin.

"Seems we have ourselves a peeping Tom. Or Tina in this case?" He looked over his shoulder. "Bad bunny. Scoot. Before I tan your hide...

Nope, nope, nope!

"Hello, Cassie! You're late for your party. Right this way. All your friends are waiting...

R&R~!