Matthew Bellamy is going to take part on next 'Big Brother VIP' on one condition: a blond, leathery, vain condition...
Notes:Hellooo, I'm afraid you're probably sick of me and my crazy fics, I chose something funny (at least I hope so) and crazy, of course:
Prompt used:
"Are you serious? You're not kidding me, are you?" by Jerem Marsh
"The time is nothing running out" by VallyrockEfp
He can feel everything but doesn't dare open his eyes by Clau Albertini
Sexy Fan in love by Ecate Efp
Photo album by Artemis Karpusi Vargas
Also this story is for the lovely Crystal PinkFloydMuser6011 who gave me the idea and showed me a bit of interview I'm going to mention here 3
Disclaimer: this is more fake than a 600$ note!
We are f***ing f***ed!
Matthew is going fast, very fast, perhaps as fast as he has ever done in his life.
Maybe only when he heard their 'Muscle Museum' on the radio for the very first time and stormed out of the house to catch up with Dom and was quick enough to play the song to his best friend on the same radio station right in its final part.
The difference is that that time Matt had raced on his bike, through the impassable alleys ofTeignmouth; now he's hurtling through the glittering streets of Los Angeles aboard hisTesla, just an anonymous car, not to draw attention!
And this time it's not a song he has to share with Dominic.
He parks rather easily, thankful there are no fans around as he wouldn't have time for them, breaking that news to his beloved comes first.
Dom has already seen him coming through his window and is preparing to welcome him.
"Matt, can you tell me what happened? You seemed so agitated on the phone..." he tries to understand something more, letting him enter.
"ThelledmetocipateBitherVition!" Matthew communicates… perhaps in a slightly too frantic way.
Dominic gives yet another proof of a patience he has had with him for more than thirty years now.
"Matteh, can you sit down, accept a glass of water, calm down for a moment and repeat it to me, this time in human language and not in Bellamish?"
Matthew nods, sits down, accepts the glass of water that Dom hands him, drinks it all, takes a deep breath and then tries again.
"They called me from a certain editorial staff, to let me participate in Big Bwother, the next Vip Edition!" The frontman succeeds in the titanic enterprise.
Dominic leaps to his feet on the couch, all excited.
"Butsostic!Thyottallmealltheingsmerasnthow!"
Matthew looks at him amused, arching an eyebrow.
"Are you talking Howardian?" He teases him, before surprising him. "The difference is that I understand it and so, yes, I know it's so fantastic and of course I'll tell you all the things that the cameras don't show."
Dominic calms down, sitting back up.
He smiles at his beloved but in his indecipherably colored eyes there is a shadow of disappointment and perhaps subtle envy that Matthew does not miss to notice.
And he can't wait to dispel that shadow.
"You know, Dommeh, it may well be that I won't tell you anything..."
"What does it mean?"
"I said I would only participate on one condition…"
"Bells, listen to me, forget the fireworks displays in the House! They will never let you do them..." Dominic tries to dissuade him.
"No, it's not that. I told them I would never go there… without you." he reveals with a big smile.
Not as big as the one Dom is showing him, who then jumps on his neck.
"Are you serious? You're not kidding me, are you?"
"I never could, baby, how could I never go through such an adventure without you, love?" Matt leans over him for a long, demanding kiss. "So about all the gossip hidden from cameras, you can find out all by yourself." resumes the conversation when they separate.
"Have you told Elle yet?" investigates Dom.
"Yes and she has responded surprisingly well. She keeps making Instagram stories where she drops little clues," the frontman chuckles. "Are you going to tell Stacie?"
"What day is today?" replies the drummer with another question.
"March 29…" the frontman mutters perplexed.
"Well, she and I haven't argued for at least two months, I'd say it's time!" Dom decides, making him smile.
"I can't believe it, you and I at Big Brother VIP!" Dom can't wait anymore. "Think of all the clothes I'll show off, no, wait, I don't have enough, I have to fix it now!" he gets alarmed, about to leave the house, just as he is dressed, that is to say in Bermuda shorts and hooded sweatshirt.
And it is precisely by that hood that Matthew pulls him, before he can run away.
"Stop there, tiger! We don't have to go to the House now; we'll go there at the end of the tour, you'll have plenty of time for shopping and anywhere in the world."
"Paris, Milan!" daydreams Dom.
"I see this as a great opportunity to spread all my conspiracy theories, open people's eyes and…"
"Think about when my mother will come to the studio," the drummer's mind is already traveling.
"Or I can fully explain the meaning of my songs, take one and do the complete analysis, vivisect it, one a day..." continues the frontman, trying to ignore him.
"Or my sister…she would write me a letter so beautiful it would make me cry rivers of tears as soon as they read it on the air…or maybe they would send me new pictures of Floyd and I would cry all over again…"
"Yeah, Dom, sure, whatever you want," Matt agrees, a little annoyed. "Imagine when I will be on air all over the States to spread my theories on HAARP, Drones, AI, the Metaverse, the second law of…"
Matt shuts up, seeing the other saddened.
"And now what are you thinking about?"
"I've been eliminated and have to leave the House!"
"But if we still have to go there!"
"It doesn't matter, my mind is racing," Dom retorts, before glaring at him. "And anyway it was you who sent me to the nomination!"
"But… it's only in your head!" Matt looks at him shocked. "I would never do that."
"Well, but in my head you did and I don't think I'll forgive you, not for today at least." continues to glare at him Dominic, getting up from the sofa. "Stay here as long as you like, you know the exit anyway, but I'm going to my room because at the moment I can't even stand the sight of you."
- But what the bloody hell happened in the last forty seconds?- Matthew wonders, dazed.
The next day Matt finds Dominic in an excellent mood, as if nothing had happened, nothing apart from that wonderful news, which however must be communicated, which is why Matt has come to pick up Dom.
"Bloody hell, Bells, you're not in the video of 'The Dark Side', do you want to go a little slower?" yells Dom.
"There is already Chris who will try to kill us when we tell him, we might as well anticipate our deaths!" replies Matthew, without downshifting a single gear.
Contrary to the pessimistic predictions of both, they reach Wolstenholme/Ball house unharmed.
They dedicate the proper time and attention to the adorable babies and then the beautiful and always smiling Caris takes the children away with her, leaving the three friends free to talk.
"At the end of the tour we will participate in Big Brother VIP!" Matt and Dom say in a chorus that they trained hard, not so much to synchronize, but to be able to explain the concept without resulting in supersonic speeds.
"Forget it!" snaps Chris. "I will never come with you to do such sodding bullshit!"
"Ehmm, Chrissy, I don't know how to tell you..." Dom mutters, embarrassed.
"Eliminating that 'Chrissy' would already be a step forward," the bassist looks at him, pissed off. "Tell me what?"
"That by 'we' we meant Dom and I, the invitation is not extended to you as well..." Matt clarifies.
"Oh." Chris frowns, maybe… disappointed?
"But only because we know how much you care about your privacy!" Dom runs for cover, but the youngest of the three doesn't buy it.
"Oh yeah, sure. Many thanks for the thoughtful thought!" he snorts, a little insulted. "If all three of us had gone at least I could have kept an eye on you, but like this... I really don't think it's a good idea," he strokes his chin, a bit shaggy. "It seems to me a useless, senseless, crazy, imprudent and above all risky thing."
Matthew moves the chair closer to him, looking him straight in the eyes.
"Big boy, you know, don't you, that nothing you say can ever change our minds?" he asks in a tone so calm that a hermit would envy him.
"Believe me, I have at least thirty years of this awareness!" the bassist rolls his eyes in resignation.
"And by the way, Chris, it's not as alarming as you imagine. I'm sure this will only do good for Muse's image. I'll tell you what, perhaps it will make us known by even more people who will start listening to our music and…"
"No, Dom, you didn't understand anything. It's not the image of Muse that I'm worried about, but for you two: you risk exposing yourselves too much. I know you, I know what you are like."
"But what do you think? That I am going to make out with Dom in front of all the other contestants in prime time?" replies Matt, a little piqued.
Luckily there is Dominic who acts as a peacemaker.
"Don't worry, Chris, Matt and I will be very well behaved, we have enviable self-control."
"The same self-control that has been leading you to grope his thigh for at least a quarter of an hour?" puts him in trouble Chris, prickly. "You're almost sitting on each other's lap!"
"But it's different.. Because we're here with you, and you know that..." the drummer defends himself.
"And we're not making out anyway!" points out the frontman.
"I don't know, guys, I predict only trouble. I guess that since the first episode I'm going to vote to eliminate you, before it's too late!"
"Don't you dare!" growl the two lovers, in another perfect unison.
"Let's talk about important stuff… who tells Anderson?" Matthew returns to the crucial questions and it is difficult to understand which of the three has the most worried expression.
"Let's just say he'll find out for himself when it's done and so we all three can go on living as long as possible?" dares to suggest Chris.
Matthew gives him a big smile.
"Big boy, are you or aren't you our super genius best friend?"
MONTHS LATER
The first episode of Big Brother VIP runs rather quietly, mostly made up of the various competitors who progressively enter the House and their reactions.
Matt and Dom must go in separately, when only the last five contestants are missing. Dom is the first to enter, but Matt crosses him in the corridor, away from the cameramen.
"So... did you bring lemons and tequila?" Matt approaches him, pointing to his suitcase.
"Huh?" Dom looks at him confused.
"But how? Don't you remember that interview we had in Muse's early days?"
"It's not like I can remember all the interviews we had!" replies Dominic, a bit brusque.
"Oh well, yeah… you're right…" Matt mutters, a little disappointed.
"Rather, tell me, was it difficult to put it in your suitcase?"
This time it's the frontman who looks at him confused.
"What?"
"Well, the chaos you wanted to bring…" Dom winks.
A smile lights up his companion's face again.
"But then you do remember!"
It must also be said that the editorial staff recommended to the two musicians that they pretend not to know of each other's presence at all.
And when Dom sees Matt enter the house it's all about walking towards him and shouting 'Nooo, I don't believe it, what are you doing here?'
And Matt who is equally surprised replies with a 'But are you there too?'
As if that weren't enough, the presenter also intervenes, in connection from the studios.
"Matthew, Dominic, did you really know nothing about this?" She asks them.
Once again the two respond in unison.
"Absolutely nothing!"
- Well. If this is the degree of difficulty in lying we can easily go on for three months.- Dominic thinks, satisfied.
The first week is a continuous settle down by everyone.
The list of participants includes athletes, dancers, showgirls, actors and actresses, a writer, two influencers and a singer from a band practically unknown to Matt and Dom, but which is very successful among the very young kids.
Dominic has a natural predisposition to get along with everyone, Matthew also does his best, but with two characters in the House the mission is impossible for him: one is Roger, a young small businessman whose only talent is to have inherited the family business; the other, whose name he never remembers if it is Sharon or Karen, so when in doubt he calls her Karion, which enrages her a lot, is a girl as beautiful - tall, slender, blonde, sea green eyes - as unbearable, who boasts to everyone that she is a prestigious actress, when at most she has appeared in a couple of commercials.
But perhaps it's not so much that that irritates him as the fact that she's been blatantly flirting with Dominic since day one.
"Sharon, stop it, I'm engaged, you know," Dominic, who remembers her name properly, makes her desist at the umpteenth shameless advance she makes at him.
"Oh well, but I'm not jealous!" says the mare's nest, with a laugh as pleasant as nails scratching a blackboard. "Besides, your girlfriend isn't here!"
- But my boyfriend is here and judging by the way he's glaring at you, if you don't quit it, I'm afraid this will become the first Reality TV show with Crime included! -
There is something that prevents Matthew from continuing to throw daggers with his eyes to her and this something is Rachel, one of the influencers, who sits on his same sofa.
"You know, when I saw you both here I couldn't believe it, it seemed like a dream: you and Dominic, here, together!" The young girl exclaims enthusiastically, twirling a strand of her long black curls.
He smiles at her cordially.
"Are you a fan?"
"Of course, for at least two years, I have been to a lot of your concerts." she pleases him with her answer. "But beyond Muse, I'm really a fan of you two!"
Matthew smiles again, but this time more embarrassed.
"You are so beautiful! Together, I mean."
- Dammit, no, I don't like where this is going…- the guitarist begins to fidget.
"The way you always try to be in close contact, the way you talk to each other, how you look at each other, how you are accomplices…"
"But nooo, that's because we've been friends for a really, really long time..."
"So? You have also been friends with Chris and Tom for a very long time and yet it doesn't seem to me that you behave in the same way with them..." the shrewd influencer does not seem to eat the leaf, scrutinizing him with her dark eyes. "Some fans, quite a lot, have been talking about it for years and by now you too have legitimized it, too, the Be..."
"Better if I run to the Confessional, I have something to say!" Matt interrupts her, before it's too late, disappearing.
The monologue he gives in the Confessional, pointing out how certain arguments are out of place, considering that Dom is in a serious relationship, not to mention himself who is a married man, is such a lethal weapon that it is the poor Rachel who pays the price of the first elimination.
For the second week Matthew unleashes an ace up his sleeve or rather in his suitcase: a photo album containing shots from the most important and significant concerts.
He shows it to all the participants, getting that to be the main topic of the evening, also interspersed with many questions from those contenders and with the anecdotes that he and Dominic in turn tell.
"You were so young here!" comments Kevin, one of the actors, pointing to one of the photos.
"I think so, it was 1999 and if I'm not mistaken it's a concert we did at Dusseldorf , at the end of that year!" Dom clarifies.
"Dusseldorf, Dusseldorf… what is it that reminds me.." Matthew mutters, torturing his hair. "Oh yeah, Dom, those sexy fans in love with you and me, do you remember?"
"Oh.. the twins! You're right, that's where we met them!"
"Huh? Sexy twins? This is where things get interesting, tell us more..." prods Roger, very intrigued by the topic.
Now the hour is late, there is the right audience for certain stories.
"We had this concert at Dusseldorf and backstage we found these two girls who immediately got noticed, not so much because they were really very beautiful, petite but with all the curves in the right place, doe eyes, sensual mouths…. But because they were practically identical, one the mirror of the other!" begins to tell Dom.
"To accentuate it they were also dressed identically, in a way that really left very little to the imagination," Matt alludes. "Homozygous twins. The only thing that distinguished them was their hair: both with bobs, but one brunette and the other blonde." continues Matt
"Chris no, because he was born practically engaged, but back to those days Matt and I had as much fun as possible and we invited those girls to our hotel room, the same, for the record."
"Yeah, but we were in two different beds and we started having sex with them, several times, each with his own girlfriend, because the brunette said she was madly in love with Dom and the blonde with me," recalls Matt.
"At every break the girls asked to go to the bathroom to clean up and we went on like this all night… those girls really knew how to do it!" chuckles Dom.
- I certainly can't begin to say that rather than paying attention to the girls we had slept with, Matt looked at each other, more often than we wanted to admit... probably wondering what it would have been like to be in the girls' place... curiosity that we would then have satisfied a few months later, making it a constant certainty, even today and probably for as long as we live. - Dom gets lost in his considerations, while Matt arrives at the most salient moment of that anecdote.
"Before leaving our room, the twins revealed to us that every time they went to the bathroom they exchanged what were actually wigs, because they were both redheads with short hair. So, both of them took turns having sex with me and Dom, without both of us realizing it… I don't want to go into too much detail but… let's just say they were really identical even in bed!" Matthew chuckles at the memory. "They screwed us pretty good, in every sense of the meaning, and honestly I think it's the sexiest thing a fan could do to us!"
"Ah, but... don't you still have the number of these fiery twins?" asks Simon, the writer. "It would be interesting material for a future book…"
"Yes, of course: a porn!" Charlie, the only remaining influencer, makes fun of him, causing everyone to laugh.
The worst thing Matt feared happened, okay not the worst but one of the worst ever: Dom ended up in the nomination and it was Roger who sent him to, for the simple reason that he likes Sharon and wants to eliminate what he considers a dangerous distraction.
Needless to say, Matthew was in a foul mood all week, always one step away from a furious argument with Roger, if the other contestants hadn't stopped him.
All the women of the House, on the other hand, were busy comforting Dominic, prey to the anxiety of having to leave the program halfway through.
On the evening of the verdict, it is revealed that the public has chosen to save Dominic and instead send away Sharon, the other nominee.
Matthew rejoices like a Hooligan, jumping on the sofa, to then make a very eloquent gesture to Rogers, promptly censored by the editorial staff, as well as a few seconds after he started dedicating 'You f***ing motherf***er' to him.
"Ehmm.. Matt, no, even less… can't you just be happy that I'm still here?" Dom tries to calm him down and is successful.
The episode ends in the best way with a surprise direct elimination that sees Roger packing his bags.
The next day, Matt finally succeeds in his main intention, because he spent most of the day talking about the HAARP project. , of Freemasonry and Artificial Intelligence, as well as to analyze a couple of his texts.
That evening, however, Dominic has different plans, which may not elevate those contenders culturally, but will certainly entertain them.
"Tequila Bum Bum Night?" he offers to everyone, after shutting himself up in the kitchen to prepare everything he needs.
And after five or six shots, the results are not long in coming.
"The time is nothing running out!" Matt prompts everyone to sing, not quite in tune.
"But no, it doeesn't goo like that!" giggles Jessica, one of the actresses, while she is busy exchanging effusions with Kevin, because, perhaps thanks to the high alcohol content, she has succumbed to the charm of her colleague.
"When he's drunk Maaatt tends to mangle all the songs!" chuckles Dominic, not exactly lucid as well, holding the seventh shot in his hand.
"Sssuperhoolive mass blaaack!" another attempt is made by an increasingly tipsy Matt, who swallowed his seventh shot with too much enthusiasm.
Everyone looks at him confused. Everyone except Dom.
"I think he's trying to sing" Supermaaaassive Black Hole '!" He clarifies for everyone.
"Joy youuuuu peeeeace and theeee miiiiiiind all in myyyyyy giiiiive!" Matt yells laughing, even letting out a few hiccups between words.
"Ehhmm noooo, don't look at meeee, this time I didn't even get it!" laughs Dominic.
The time is getting later and the bottles of Tequila more and more empty, until it's time to go to sleep.
Too inebriated to remember their predicament, Matt follows Dom into his bed.
"Doommeeeh we've been in here for almost two months and we've been doing gweeeeat," Matt chuckles, sliding under the covers with him.
"Yeah, nobody suspects of meee and yoouu..." Dom smiles placidly.
"Even if I'm missing something… after all, what is it? Six, seven weeks that we can't touch? I'd say it's an unsustainable duration…" whispers Matthew.
"Uns-Uns-Unsustain-Unsustainable…" replies Dom, with a somewhat robotic voice.
Up to here in the eyes of the observers they can still seem like two drunk people muttering meaningless things.
"If you also start singing, however, you become even more iwwesistible..."
"If yaa find me irresistible when I sing .. ya're drunk as shit, Bells!" Dom mocks him.
Up to here they may seem like two friends making fun of each other.
Matt gets so close that his mouth is now on Dom's ear.
"If we keep quiet, no one will notice..." he whispers, making him jump.
"Matt.. no... you can't.." he whispers, in the same way.
"You're right.. So, cuddle yourself a bit? Tendew cuddles betweeen best fwiends.." Matt insists.
"Yeah.. cuddling is so innocent.." Dom approves, clinging more to him.
Matt, however, begins to caress his face and neck, with a hand that slips under his shirt, his tongue enters his ear, with his lips sucking the lobe.
After all, there is the blanket that protects them and in the eyes of the observer they can still seem friends with a considerable degree of intimacy.
Dominic can feel everything but doesn't dare open his eyes until Matthew's lips are on his.
At first the blond smiles, granting him access which the other insistently asks for, a pity that they have moved too much and the sheet is no longer covering their faces.
Dominic finally seems to realize what they are doing and decides that his eyes should be opened.
He separates instantly from Matt, looking terrified and only then does either the frontman understand what happened, gasping and putting his hands in his hair.
"Oh shit, Dom! We are f***ing f***ed!"
The hangover effect vanished from the shock and s now Matthew has resumed saying the lyrics of their songs correctly.
****************** (At the same time)
Rachel, the influencer and the first contestant to leave the show, is at home watching every juicy shot the night cameras have to offer.
The girl is so happy that she's not even pissed off with Matt for eliminating her.
"I knew those two love each other!" She exclaims excitedly, ready to launch a live broadcast with her reactions.
There is another person who for six weeks now, contrary to his habits regarding TV programs, has never missed an episode of the ' Big Brother VIP '.
And that person answers to the name of Chris Wolstenholme.
He gets up from the sofa, puts on the first jacket he can find and rushes to his car, taking a solemn oath, in the middle of the night.
"Matt, Dom, wait for me, now I'm coming to kill you and I'm doing it as a personal favor, because if Anderson finds you before me, it will be even worse!"
THE END
Notes:Some notes:
In my previous stories I always pictured Tom (Kirk, I looove that man!) as their manager and maybe somehow he was, but in this WOTP era I guess some roles changed and now it's only Dom Anderson the main one
About the Sharon character (totally invented, as every single thing in this story, lol), Karion reminds to 'carrion' so, of course she must be pissed off and Matt (remember, evil Matt is evil) does that on purpose lol
About the memories of the sexy fans, when they say they used to make love to girls in the very same room, this is my personal headcanon that also can be found on my old minilong 'Make me dream your dreams' along with the fight issues explained in 'Teach me Dwums!' … let's say that 'MMDD' is my collection of headcanons lol
One more thing: thanks for reading