Day 13 Prompt: "Secret rendezvous"

When Sasuke says he's not fit for it, he means it.

He's never been that guy. The guy who sweet talks the girl, the guy who flirts effortlessly, the guy who handles rejection well and yes, never gets rejected. Romance was never for him. He briefly wondered if he was aromantic like he'd heard Rin talking about one day when Kakashi brought her to his apartment to 'check on him'. He thinks it was really because he was bored of being in his own apartment and wanted an excuse to take a break from editing. The concept of being seriously involved with someone, romantically or sexually, never crossed his mind before. He figured he was just some straight cis-gender guy. But his lack of attraction to, well, anyone had him thinking about it.

Now his whole worldview is coming into question. Thought he'd be happy alone for the rest of his life. The Hyūga is quickly carving out a home in his heart, and the affection he's feeling for her isn't the same as what he feels for his mother or Naruto. It's more than that, it's that she's taking up space in his brain. Her little movements, her thoughtful words, her kind nature, her pretty face and her genuine demeanor. He never has to guess with her and he just feels comfortable. Again, it's putting him in this weird spot in life.

Sexual attraction was always an inevitability, he just didn't realize it would make him more of a beast than a man when it would finally come to a head. Kissing her just felt natural, and when she came back for more, it was probably the least level-headed he's been since he was just a dumb preteen accidentally watching a sex scene in a movie. Couldn't control the urge to pull her closer, wanted to hold her hand, wanted her pressed right into him and their mouths to connect.

Suddenly, there was a loud voice in his head, yelling at him to stop.

His senses flooded him and he realized he was acting like an animal. Felt like one, too, when he felt the need to run away to protect himself. Protect his own emotions.

Now he's sitting inside of Itachi's home, staring at two guinea pigs eagerly chowing down on several pieces of lettuce. One of them stops suddenly and looks up at him, chewing. Stares right at him as it opens its mouth, showing its buck teeth. Suddenly, it starts oinking, quietly. Sasuke is unsettled.

"What's the matter, sweetie?"

Sasuke squints at the guinea pig as it continues staring at him. His mother lays a new piece of lettuce in front of it, and it finally turns its attention from him in favor of food.

"Those things are strange," he says, flatly, finally looking up at his mother, who laughs.

"I think they're cute!" His mother chirps, reaching down to pet one of them with two fingers. He shakes his head. "Why did you come if you don't like them? I told you I was feeding your brother's guinea pigs while he's gone."

"Why do you always have to do it? Why doesn't he ever ask dad?" He's not sure why he's trying to pick a fight right now, it just slips out. His mom cocks her head and folds her arms.

"Itachi knows better than to trust your father with the life of a pet," she tells him, completely serious. "And you, for that matter."

"Harsh," he says with a sigh, looking away from her.

"You're snippy today," she says, quickly adding, "snippier than usual."

"I'm the normal level of snippy."

"Deflection is on point, too." She smirks down at him as he runs his fingers through his hair.

Sasuke actually really likes his mom. Enjoys her company. He blames that for why she knows him well enough to jab at him like this.

"What is it?" she questions, dropping the remnants of lettuce into the cage before strolling up to him. She crouches down on her heels so she's level with him. It's something she's always done; made sure she was on equal footing with him, even when he was just a snotty kid. She even reaches out to rest her hands on his knees and he lets out an exasperated sigh. "Tell me or don't. It's up to you."

"Why do you like dad?"

His mom blinks at him when he looks at her and he's not surprised at her discomfort. She pulls her hands back and crosses her wrists over one another on her stomach. She hums, softly, and looks up. "Do you know why Itachi has guinea pigs?"

"You got them for him?" Sasuke says, matter-of-a-factly.

"Your father did." Sasuke squints a bit at this, tilts his head. "He got Itachi his first pair, oh….nearly 25 years ago?"

"I thought you did," he says, frowning.

"No, it was all your father," she laughs, reaching out for one of the pigs. "He got you a pair, too."

"I remember having guinea pigs," he says, backing away as she cradles one of them to her chest. "I didn't like them, and you gave them to Itachi."

"Mhm," his mother hums agreement, letting the little pig crawl onto her shoulder. "Your father loved animals."

"What?" Sasuke scoffs, shaking his head.

"He was so tender with them," his mother tells him, looking at the guinea pig to let it sniff her nose. "He loved them but had no time for them. So he gave them to Itachi."

"This makes no sense." He waves a hand in front of him. "If that's true, why wouldn't Itachi trust dad with them?"

"Because Itachi doesn't trust him." She laughs as she sets the guinea pig back in. "Itachi is nervous he'll give them a hamster ball that will break their back, or the wrong type of food. He loves him, but cannot trust him."

"Why tell me this?" he asks, pressing his palm to his forehead. His mother overshares too often, but this feels intentional.

"Because it's what I liked about him."

"That he likes guinea pigs?"

"That he had a softer side," his mother says, flatly. "He has a caring side."

Sasuke frowns at his own feet because he doesn't think that's enough.

"He cared. He was sweet to me and made me laugh. He had a vision and worked his way from the bottom. He kept going, no matter what. Even when everyone was against him, told him he was wasting his time. He was driven, and even then, he still supported me."

"With what? Food share?"

"Yes, food share." Sasuke thinks about all of the times he joined his mom on a truck driven by some scraggly man, going around the neighborhood to pick up donated food. All to bring back to the local shelter for battered women and their children. "Your father spent his first big payout on a minivan for me, so I could go around the neighborhood. With you and your brother."

Sasuke sighs, deeply. He doesn't want to fight with his mother but also does want to push the boundaries. "You like dad because he likes guinea pigs, worked hard, and gave you money to drive a minivan around town for food for the poor?"

Mikoto laughs while tucking a piece of hay into the pig's pink plastic hut. "Yes, basically."

"He wasn't smart? Thoughtful? Nice? Smart?" Sasuke's irritated now.

"Well," Mikoto laughs harder now, patting the hut, "he was all of those things to some extent. Those just weren't what pulled me in."

"Seriously?"

"Any person can be funny, kind, and smart," she retorts, folding her arms. "Anyone. It's the little things you have to look at. What do they think about, well, political issues? Religion? Aliens? X-Files? Jersey Shore?"

"Jersey Shore?!"

"About the seasons and their favorite holidays," Mikoto says, not acknowledging his outburst. "What color do they like to wear? What is their favorite type of music? Where would they go in the world if given the opportunity? What do they want to be when they grow up?"

"When they grow up—"

"It's those things." She interrupts him back, again. It quiets him, the way she says it so seriously, stepping right in front of him. He's gotten to his feet now, towering his own mother, but he still feels so small in front of her, like that little boy with his mama. "Those are the things you need to pay attention to."

Sasuke purses his lips as he looks at his mother, wishing he didn't feel so emotional right now. It feels so silly, but he does. He's not even surprised when she grabs him by the shoulders and forces him down into a hug. He just lets her. Let his bad feelings seep into her because she's always been good at absorbing them.

"It's what moms are for," she whispers against him as if reading his mind. He thinks about how Hinata once told him she doesn't have a mom.

That sits in his stomach heavier than he thought it would.

It's the next day, Monday. Snow has subsided to just a sprinkle, the buses are operable. He's not sure whether he's happy or upset by that. Upset because usually, it's a great excuse for him to just lay in bed and try (and fail) to sleep in on a weekday. Happy because…it gives him a chance to make things right.

So, he's tentatively happy.

Gets to work, goes through the same grueling routine. A little nod from Jūgo, side eye from a tired Shikamaru, a big thumbs up from Lee who's already on the phone. Everyone else tries not to look at him because he's not worth interacting with to most people.

Usually, he's pleased when work goes by fast, but noon hits far sooner than normal and the anxiety in his gut feels overwhelming. He drags his feet as he makes his way up the stairs to the food court. He doesn't even know what he's going to say.

Sorry for kissing you.

Sorry for running away.

Sorry for being a freak.

Maybe that's all he is, is a freak. One who thought he might in fact be a romantic, but is instead just an awkward mess of emotions and gross feelings.

He stands in the entryway of the food court, looking for her. It's a toss-up on who arrives first, but he was trying to be a little slower to make sure she got here first. She's not here, but he thinks maybe that's a good thing. To catch her before she gets food because it's kind of a weird conversation to have over food. So he just steps off to the side and waits.

Waits, and waits, until his lunch break is just about over. It's been 45 minutes and she hasn't shown her face, and he realizes he really did mess up.

Like, really bad.

Hinata isn't the kind of person to just blow him off. She would have texted him or sent him a message on Discord. Of course, they'd had no contact since last night. Why should she give him the grace of being let down gently?

Still, he feels irritated.

All he's trying to do is the right thing.

The rest of the day is slow, because of course it is, when all he wants to do is go home and depression sleep.

That's pretty much how he spends his days for the next two weeks. Ignores all of Naruto's texts and Discord messages, his brother's emails, knocks on his door that he knows have to be Kakashi. All in the name of making sure he's 'okay'. And honestly, he's not okay. He feels like the most pathetic person on this planet. He kisses a girl, runs away, and spends the rest of his life in bed. That is Sasuke Uchiha's legacy.

It's not until Saturday morning when he's woken up to a call, which jolts him awake because he's used to everyone using text communication with him now. He finally must speak to someone verbally. 'Mom' flashes across the screen and he groans, rubs his face, and flops backward. Begrudgingly, he slides the accept-call button across the screen.

"Mom," he grumbles, raspy with exhaustion as he flips onto his side and brings his comforter up to his chin.

"Dear, I need you to go to lunch with me." Before he can respond, she tells him she will pick him up at 11 and that she'll see him soon.

Click.

Just the thing he needs. His mother questioning him about what's going on in his life and for him to have to come up with something other than being in bed all day or playing video games to distract himself. He dare not reveal to her that he's been nothing but a lump in his bed outside of work, lest he be berated about being in his twenties and making the most out of it.

He lays in bed for the next several hours, switching between scrolling through depressing news articles, funny memes, and short-form videos. Feels his eye twitch every time it glances at the time in the top right corner. He doesn't want to think about the fact he needs to get up in about 20 minutes and make himself presentable. He loves his mom and she's never been the type to give him shit for coming to see her in a t-shirt and jeans, but his dad always did, so it's just instinctive to avoid some conflict.

It's a given that she's probably not with his dad, so he rolls out of bed around 10:30, brushes his teeth and hair, changes his clothes, and gathers his stuff. Even grabs the little cat-shaped bookmark he saw on Lee's desk that he swiped for her. He figures it'll make her smile and in turn, he can feel less bad about the failure of a son he is.

Before he leaves, he grabs a coat like his mom ingrained into him so long ago, as well as the scarf she crocheted him a few years ago. He wears it because she's delighted to see it, but also because it's actually pretty comfortable and feels heavy on his shoulders, rather than some thin piece of cloth on his cheeks and neck. He treks down to the lobby and already see's her car waiting for him in the drop-off area.

"You're wearing it!" she chirps happily, like always, as he climbs into the passenger seat. He just lets out an amused puff of air, praying that their time together won't end up with him feeling guilty as she clutches her heart at the idea her son is in some sort of pain.

Their small talk proceeds as normal as she drives him to his unknown location. Eventually, they stop at this café he's pretty sure he's heard Hinata say she enjoys.

"A cafe?" Sasuke asks, glancing at her. "This isn't really a lunch spot."

"They have those little sandwiches," she says back to him, shutting off the car. "I like a good croissant."

Since he was a kid, he's felt like his mom speaks in riddles. He doesn't even question it anymore as he exits the car. He steps next to his mom and approaches the diner, but not before—

"Hey you two!"

Sasuke freezes.

Shisui approaches with Hinata in tow.

"Oh, what a lovely surprise."

This is not a lovely surprise.

Hinata mimics him from beside Shisui.

Shisui could be a little annoying and too pushy for his own good, but Sasuke's always respected him. Obviously, he felt like he could even trust him in most situations. It's why he ends up crashing on his couch so often. Often, it felt like Shisui was the more relaxed older brother that Sasuke lacked in Itachi. Must be why it feels like a dagger slicing right into his back, now.

His senses snap back to him. His nostrils flare as he rejoins his mom's side, glaring right at Shisui. "Aren't you a little old to be dating someone in their 20's?"

"D-date?" Hinata squeaks out from behind Shisui, whose jaw drops before he bellows out an obnoxious laugh.

"You're completely right!" Shisui thumbs back to point at Hinata. "I was just giving Hinata my thanks."

"Your thanks?" Sasuke asks, suspiciously.

"Oh, you know how Itachi always harps about collecting data," he continues, waving a hand in front of him. "Thought I'd ask Hinata some questions about, you know, eyewear! Since she is an optometrist and all."

"I'm actually not—"

"So I was gonna chat about it with her over coffee!"

Sasuke blinks as he glances from Shisui to Hinata, who is looking down at her feet, and he realizes what's going on. He steps in front of his mother, back to the other two, leans in and asks, agitatedly, "did you talk to Shisui?"

"You know we like to have tea together," his mother tells him so very nonchalantly, hands clasped in front of her just as Shisui slaps a hand on his back.

"But you know what, I probably conned the poor girl into it." Here it comes. "Why don't you two just have coffee together? I'll take your mom off your hands."

"Seriously—"

"Wonderful, I've been dying to talk about last week's Bachelor." She immediately peels away from Sasuke to join Shisui and they're gone, leaving Hinata standing behind him.

"I'm sorry," she says, quietly, "I didn't realize this was some sort of scheme."

"Me neither," he sighs, knowing he should have known. If there's one thing he can count on from his mother, it's that she'll infer things and try to fix his problems, even if he's never mentioned one in the first place. Asking her why she even likes his father was the big mistake.

Now here they are, trapped in another awkward situation.

"I'll leave you be."

Without thinking, he calls for her to wait. Slowly turns around to see her staring up at him, big eyes looking so incredibly worried and goddamnit if he doesn't feel even worse than before. Never in his life has getting his point across been so difficult. Sasuke's always been able to tell someone to leave him alone, get over themselves, talk candidly. But this feels so much more important, now.

"I'm sorry."

That's it?

"I'm sorry for being a freak."

"You're not a freak…" she says it with such soft sincerity, he almost believes her. Swallows that lump in his throat as she steps towards him. "I just thought…there was something…I assumed…"

"There is something," he says, quickly, to make sure he gets it out. "There is something."

"Something," she repeats back, her hands twisting together against themselves. "Between us?"

"Yeah." It's so cold and he says it so breathy, the air coming out of his mouth fogs up. He steps towards her like she did to him, closing that distance. "I'm just scared of it."

"Of me?" He scoffs on instinct and wishes he had better control over that.

"Of course not." He shakes his head. "I don't really know how to describe it, I – just, I don't think I've ever…really…" He groans, throws a hand over his face because he feels like such an idiot stumbling over his words, trying to talk about his emotions, and he's nowhere near prepared to do so. He resents his mother and Shisui for doing this to him. "I don't know how to be like this."

"Uhm…" she hums, tilting her head so that her hair falls over her shoulder. "You mean, f-feeling…feeling…"

"Feeling really strongly," he blurts out, completely out of character, but something about Hinata makes him this way. "About another person."

Even in the frigid temperatures, her cheeks turn pink and he's unsure if that's a good thing. Novels and movies tell him it is. So he takes another step forward. "I feel strongly about you."

When she averts her eyes, he takes another bold move and reaches out with one hand to cup her cheek. Even through his gloves, it's cold, and he almost wants to take the gloves off so he can feel her skin. It gives him the reaction he sought: her looking up at him with blown-wide eyes, lips parted, sucking in shaky breaths. She's clearly trying to control her intake of air with the long breaths she exhales, right between them. When her fingers reach up to lace around his wrist, he sincerely believes he's never felt nicer in his life. Ever.

Then she catches him off guard, with such simple words.

"Do you want more?"

Feels like his breath is taken away. She still looks nervous, but she manages to say the words with such confidence, clearly asking for a straight answer. Their faces are so close together.

Is he fit for it?

"I want more," he whispers, able to see the warmth of his breath brush against her lips. Her grip on his wrist tightens.

And God, does he think he wants more. She's so open and vulnerable to him with her bolder-than-normal movements, her other hand reaching up to grip at his jacket, propelling him to wrap an arm around her middle. Now they're pressed together, like the other night, but it feels right this time. Establishing in clear, plain words how they're feeling.

She thinks there's something there, and so does he.

He wants more. All he needs to know…

"I do, too." It's barely a breath from her blue lips, but it sucks him right in. He presses his to hers, to warm them.

It doesn't feel as hot and heavy as it did that night. It doesn't feel urgent or pushy from either of them.

It feels patient. Like they're giving each other room to figure the other out. Rather than harsh, it's light; gentle with one another. He knows he's being gentle with her, and he can feel it back from her.

It feels right, really right, this time.

When they pull from one another, their eyes immediately open to look at each other. Their breathing is a little heavier, but more even than before, and they're able to focus.

So, he asks her.

"Can I take you back to your place?"

"Yes."

It's so immediate, he feels all his confidence get a nice, good boost.

Then, she says, looking a little deflated, "but I drove here…"

He almost sinks into his own self-deprivation but recovers quickly because of that boost he just got. "I always wondered what it's like in your rich girl's car."

The giggle that leaves her is pretty, and he wants to hear it again, and again, and again.