Chapter VI Dine & Dive
"Hey, it's just the park isn't the best place to have man talks, alright? We are both celebrities, I thought you could understand me!"
The dining room was adorned with exquisite chandeliers casting a warm glow upon the space, with opulent sculptures and paintings covering every corner of the space-making the silence after Hades' guilt-tripping welcome even worst.
A long, ebony table stretched out, dressed in pristine white linen, and Hades sat in the main seat, while Jafar and Frollo sat by his sides. In the centre, a silver plate of diced cheese sat untouched-the plate was ridiculously too far to reach for a three-men breakfast meeting, Jafar thought to himself. Scarlet sipper goblets stood tall next to them, their crimson hue reflecting the golden light from the ceiling, yearning for laughter and clinking to fill the void.
What was that line from that famous song from Eagles' again? "And I was thinking to myself, 'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'," Jafar thought.
"Anyway, hey Mr Nerf Gun, I haven't learned your name," Hades grabbed a piece of diced cheese from his plate, turned to Frollo's side, "So...do you mind a bit introduction to yourself? Or you don't mind if I call you 'Mr Nerf Gun' 'til the end of the world?"
"I actually do not care what you call me, as long as I know you're talking to me."
"Don't care at all? Like Mr Nerf Gun, Mr Unfun, Mr Uncool, Mr I-Hate-Everything-In-This-World...they are all fine for you?" Hades chomped on diced cheese with his mouth wide open, talking with his mouth full while he chewed, like table manners were the furthest thing in his world.
"...Claude Frollo." Frollo seemed to be annoyed by Hades a bit, which was new in Jafar's eyes, "I don't know what else would you like to know from me."
"Oh, there are many things about a new person, Mr Frollo. Like what's one's habits, what's one's dreams, what's one's favourite bands, whether they read 'interesting' fanfics on AO3 or not, what's one's ideal ways to die..." Hades counted with his fingers, as now he seemed to just name a shopping list of things popping up in his mind like streams of bubbles.
"Oh, there are many things about new people, I know." Frollo started counting as well, eyes flickering with a hint of brutality, "They all have a brain, a heart, a respiratory system, and some arteries and veins within. Putting a bullet in one of these places would be a nice and painless way to go. But it might be too boring for your taste."
"You do love jokes about murder and suicide, don't you?" Hades lowered his raspy voice, how Frollo nonchalantly talked about brutal stuff scared him, and he did not want to let Frollo see through his fear for the man.
"You had it coming, as you're the one mentioning 'what's one's ideal way to die' as one of the things you would like to know in an introduction."
"Oh, come on-" Hades got frustrated at how Frollo kept throwing comebacks like a professional tennis player. He smashed his fists on the desk, and Jafar was then splashed with the split wine from his own goblet.
"All right, all right, no murder and suicidal jokes served with breakfast," Frollo waved his hand slightly, he did seem a bit apologetic here, "Say something light-hearted, Mr Hades, I won't interrupt."
"You little fun-killer psychopath..." Hades placed his hand on his forehead, "Ahahaha, 'killer', ain't I right? Look, man, I know life is harsh and unfair, but if every single word spat from your mouth is all a brick to build your murder jokes, please seek some professional help."
Hades noticed a dark look fall across Frollo's face in a blink of an eye. He truly spooked Hades, as he was the man who brought a gun into the studio just because he heard his dormmate screaming.
"Fine, fine, I am not condensing you, I just...I am just concerned about your well-being, ok? Hehe..." Hades giggled awkwardly, as he just wanted to lighten the situation a bit.
"Anyway, let's switch our topic-do you feel accustomed to your dormmate? How long have you lived together? Do his snorts awake you in the middle of the night? Do his non-existent survival skills bother you? Do his streaming and filming make you feel less lonely a bit?" Hades asked. He tried his best to sound genuine, even if he couldn't tell whether Frollo's words were the same.
Then it was just silence. Hades and Jafar awaited Frollo's response, even those opulent sculptures and paintings seemed like they were eager for Frollo's words. All they could get for a few seconds were only Frollo's subtle flinches on his face.
"...You should have asked the question to Jafar." Frollo finally replied. Hades was not sure whether he mistook Frollo's intentions, as he sensed deep remorse in Frollo's whisper. Hades then turned his sight to Jafar, but Jafar just shrugged like he did not care.
"It would be nice if you could come to my stream one day, you know?" Jafar said, even though he was on the brink of bursting into tears, he still held on, "I will be grateful, and fans miss you so badly."
"Nah, I am retired-"
"You can do a 'Meme Review' stream with Frollo and me, reconsider it." Jafar interrupted. Then he took a huge chug of his scarlet sipper, as he just craved to wash his tangling thoughts away.
"You don't mind me in your stream?" Frollo asked, "And what's 'meme'?"
"You don't have to know for now, and I don't mind you at all if we do a 'Meme Review'." Jafar nodded, using the napkin with golden edging to wipe his mouth.
"Anyway, Hades, reconsider it." Jafar then looked into Hades' blinking eyes, "I won't block your damn alt account, you can answer me with it."
A few hours after the breakfast, Hades stood at the edge of his swimming pool, a distorted figure in front of him had no words for his problems either.
So he decided to dive in.
He plunged into the crystalline depths, searching for the lost solace beneath the water's embrace. Each splashing rhymed, like the old saying: "Life never repeats itself but it rhymes". The warm water enveloped him like a sanctuary, shielding him from the tumultuous outside world.
Swimming is a sequence of continuous cycles of movements-striking his arms, emerging from the depths, gasping for air, and diving back into the water. It was a vicious cycle in order to escape from reality. Illusion, disillusion, dream, and sober...they burst like bubbles, one by one, changing their faces as the theatre clown alters his makeup.
There was never an end.
After the swimming session, Hades dried himself with the towel, changed into a bathrobe and sat in his home cinema. He put one of the VHS tapes of the old American sketch comedy "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" into his VCR. All he wanted to hear were those laugh tracks and all he wanted to see were those nonsensical sequences.
"Oh no, I don't think we could get Mr Nixon to stand still for 'sock it to me'." The female replied to the call-in in the studio, and then the camera cut to an utterly confused President Nixon. He turned to the camera and said: "Sock it to me?!"
"Ahahaha, yeah sock it to you, you crook! Too afraid to face your own impeachment, huh?" Hades chewed on his Cheetos, laughing at the Nixon cameo as the soundtrack for a commercial time played.
Crook. Hades froze for a few seconds to think to himself. What a word for those who dance like demon monkeys in the spotlight, manipulating people's emotions and attention just for more pennies, isn't it?
Suddenly, a phone call snapped Hades out of his own thoughts.
He reached for his phone. Seeing the numbers, he couldn't help but yell "Oh no!"
But then he combed his hair with his fingers, murmuring to himself "It's okay, Hades, you have to chill now, it's just a call from that ungrateful bastard… not a big deal, he just calls you for either your money or your money. Smile and shake his hands…"
"Hello, my lovely brother Zeus, how's your day?" Hades picked up the phone and answered.
"Hey Hades...about that lawsuit..." the husky voice from the other side of the phone said.
"No, I WON'T ever take further responsibility for your actions!" Hades roared to the phone, "Got your thingy in places where it doesn't belong? GOOD, so then you will realize your actions have CONSEQUENCE!"
"Uh, I mean, Hades...man, that lawyer you introduced to me...he is hard to work with, you know?" Zeus ignored the protest from Hades, "Could you help me to find another one? I don't like my lawyer treating me like I were 6."
"Hey, you do realize YouTubers are not some international conglomerates which have enough lawyers to make a full baseball team, right?" Hades sounded irritated, "I paid that lawyer just so you can harm this society more, I don't want to pay more to indulge you to harm another poor lawyer's soul, ok?"
"...OK, but I still think since you're retired and all, you can still find another lawyer..."
"I RETIRED FOR YOU!" Hades finally combusted with his rage and resentment, his echoes filled the empty home cinema, loud and clear, "I have to retire from a career I love, just so I could protect you further! How will social media react if they know you are my brother and I were still active on the platform? Those on the Internet will PREY on anything juicy about the lawsuit like packs of sharks sense a drip of blood! How stupid are you to realize it?"
"Hey, brother, if you don't want to help me-"
"I SACRIFICE FOR YOU! What have you ever done for me once?" Hades' voice was as raucous as ever, "You know what? I will let you know now-I started the career of Youtubers just to escape you, damn it!"
Hades hung up the phone and smashed it on the desk. He couldn't take it anymore, he needed something stronger to drown his nightmare, not this tame "Laugh-In" VHS.
He stood up and turned off the VCR, stepping towards the stereo system in his home cinema. He plugged in, and the LED lighting of the stereo system was lit, illuminating Hades' face with dazzling colours. LED changed its colours from scarlet, copper, golden, emerald, azure, to violet.
The electric sound of the hip-hop song trembled the ground of his mansion, but there was only Hades left to hear, to feel, to dive in the wave of the music. The mixture of horns and sirens drowned the listener into the deep depression, lurking under the surface of loud, energetic music.
So he decided to dive in, alone.
He sat in front of the speaker of the stereo system, the speaker dome in his back formed a halo on his towered blue hair. His hands laced behind his head, sweat streamed down his face, as the speaker emitted:
"Belly covered up t-shirt red tiger
Drool down the lip striped saber-toothed slimmer
Dribble spit tip scale dirty dogma
Puppy love blocked shaka twa ménage
Ninja, ninja, vanish m.o. creep
Naughty fucking freaks and busting techniques
East west battle best turn your bones to ashes
Send 'em to the kin w/ the symbol on the package
Grow the fascination larger than it ever was
Walls kicked over Berlin snap cameras
Gallagher Petey G sledgehammer family
Dabble w/ insanity granted me the amnesty
I learned my lesson messing up my life is not the way to wreck it check the sm58
Replace the vibe behind your face piece
Bass beats your basics plus me it's the combination
Known to defeat the beast and his gatekeeper
digital animal freaking folks
digital animal freaking folks..."