"How can we measure the power we wield except in the eyes of the other?"

Joyce Carol Oates

It was the sound of dishes piling up on the infirmary trolley that had woken Severus from his slumber. It wasn't even 7 a.m. and Lily had already raided half of the Great Hall's buffet. Severus watched her furiously heaping plates of toast and jars of jam beside his bed, laughing inwardly at the absurdity of the situation. Between his position, half-sitting up in bed because of the pile of cushions that kept his back straight, and the food piling up around him, he felt like some kind of deity receiving offerings at the foot of his throne. More seriously though, what was Lily going to do with all this? He would never manage to eat more than two slices of bread with his small appetite and Lily knew this. Besides, after the night he'd had, it was sleep he needed, not food.

"Are you aware that the infirmary is also serviced by house elves and I just have to ask for breakfast to be brought to me?"

Lily's head poked out from behind the trolley, her green eyes staring at Severus through the curved gap of the metal handles. "Are you aware that, knowing you, I know you won't do it, and so I went to a lot of trouble to make sure you ate something?"

Severus didn't answer right away, watching her first as she held his gaze without blinking. Ah, Lily. Terrible Lily. With her wild child's face and her bad temper. He had to admit that he had grumbled a little when she'd woken him up but he was happy that she was there. After all the troubles he'd gone through, to see her taking care of him meant the world to him.

He refrained from telling her that, though.

"You're such a tyrant, you know that?"

"If you don't have anything more intelligent to say," Lily replied as she straightened up to come to sit on his bed, "I suggest you occupy your mouth with a piece of toast. Here, I got some ham, in case you want to eat salty, and some gooseberry jam too. I know it's your favorite. Wait, I'll make you one of each so that you can eat a full breakfast."

"Thank you, but I don't need any assistance."

Again, this was completely untrue, Severus was willing to roll down all the stairs in the astronomy tower so Lily would continue to take care of him like this. She knew this very well, by the way. With a smile on her face, she pushed her long hair back behind her shoulders, then rolled up her sleeves and worked on spreading butter on one of the toasts before placing the slice of ham on top, making sure that nothing stuck out from the edges. Severus would have laughed at this ridiculous thoroughness if he wasn't sure he would have done the exact same thing. He and Lily shared the same fastidious, almost maniacal nature. One of the countless reasons they loved each other so much.

Lily held out the finely garnished toast in the direction of Severus' mouth before pulling it back when he tried to grab it, insisting on keeping it in her hand. The Slytherin chuckled before arching an eyebrow. Well, now she was going a bit too far.

"Seriously, what did you take me for? A pigeon? Do you think I'm going to peck at your hand? I know I have a concussion, but I think I'm still capable of feeding myself."

He tried to grab the toast again but Lily raised it even higher. "Your hands are covered in bandages. If you take this toast, you'll get them embedded with crumbs, which means Madam Pomfrey will be forced to change them. And since she's in a foul mood this morning, you're going to get blasted."

Unfortunately, in addition to the desire to always do the right thing, they also shared the same stubbornness.

"Firstly," Snape replied as he held out his left hand towards Lily, who in turn leaned away slightly, "Madam Pomfrey has to redo my bandages today. Secondly," he insisted, pretending to still want to reach Lily only to quickly switch hands and grab the toast, causing the redhead to cry out in outrage as an avalanche of crumbs spilled onto the sheets. "Ha! Even if it was the case, I'd be willing to face an army of Madam Pomfreys to save my dignity!"

Sitting in the middle of the crumbs, Lily first gave him a sulky look before answering casually, "What dignity?"

Snape let out a falsely exasperated sigh, "Lily..."

"Sev..." She had done it again to perfection, even mimicking his position in bed, with his head pointing too high because of his neck brace and his back immobilized by his corset.

"Oh?" Severus marveled with a smile. "You're like that, are you? You make fun of the disabled?"

"Only when it's you," Lily retorted. "At the same time, it's not complicated, you look like an old mummy. Only your long nose sticks out of the bandages."

She had said this while patting the tip of his nose affectionately with her finger. Severus hurriedly put his toast on his lap to bring his hands in front of his face, miming a cone starting from his nose. "It's for aerodynamics."

Lily burst out laughing, "You're so stupid! Come on, eat your toast! You need strength! I'll make you another one in the meantime. And maybe with this, you'd like..."

She glanced around, looking for something in the pile of food she had stacked on the cart then frowned. "Uh... I didn't take it?"

"What? What didn't you take?" Severus asked.

Lily didn't answer him. She instead tucked a rebellious lock of hair back behind her ear and then leaned over to the cart to observe its contents before smacking her forehead with a discomfited look on her face. "Ah, I'm so stupid! I forgot the tea!"

"It's not like there's a shortage of tea here," Severus laughed. "We can just ask the nurse."

Lily let out a frustrated sigh. "The point was to bring everything here so we wouldn't have to ask for anything... Like when we have lunch together during the vacations..." Her eyes wandered over the sheets of the bed as she mindlessly fiddled with her hair, wrapping her strands around her fingers to create ephemeral curls. "I... I know it sounds stupid but, last night, it was the only thing that helped me sleep... I was thinking about the brunch we had at my house. I wanted to do the same thing again. I wanted to make you forget that you were in the infirmary. I had it all planned out in my head... I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to feel useful..."

Sighing again, Lily moved away from Severus to sit on the edge of the bed. She was playing with her bracelets now, trying to switch their order by passing them over each other without untying them. Delicately, she tightened the least worn one, a cord adorned with green faux plastic pearls that Severus had given her for her last birthday.

Severus watched her do so, hesitating to respond. He already knew where this conversation was going to lead. "Look at all you've brought me, it's already perfect. You're not useless. Besides-"

"Last night I was useless," Lily cut him off.

She was looking at her robe now, contemplating the crumbs that had fallen on it when Severus had snatched the toast from her hands. Most of them had clung to the pilling already on the fabric. Like her best friend, Lily bought her uniforms secondhand, and the one she wore seemed to have seen better days. Looking glum, she began to rip them out one by one before giving up because of the sheer number of them, instead just shaking her clothes.

"What are you talking about?" Severus finally managed to say. "You're already the only one who came to help me in potions class. And when I fell, you stayed with me the whole time," He tried to help her by dusting her shoulder, but the girl's head came to rest on his bandaged hand.

"Last night I stayed with you, but I didn't do anything," Lily insisted." I was useless... I don't know if you remember what happened after you fell but... You were on the ground, bleeding, and I couldn't... I couldn't get near you..."

She buried her head in her hands before curling up on herself under the mortified look of her best friend. He hated seeing her like this. Lily had always had a phobia of blood. Severus knew that. He could never blame her.

Despite his corset and neck brace, Severus did his best to turn toward his best friend. While he couldn't bend over enough to hug her, he did manage to reach the top of her head, gently stroking her hair. "I remember that it was you who sent the others for help and that it was you who told Mary what to do. You didn't abandon me, Lily. I know very well that you can't stand the sight of blood. Yet you stayed as close as possible and didn't even pass out."

Smiling, he shook his shoulder. "Hey, you didn't pass out. Isn't that a first time?"

Lily didn't answer right away, shaking her head a little before churning out a small, "Yah."

"Well, you see," Severus continued, "it was a colossal effort already. Maybe by hurting myself in every possible and unimaginable way, I'll help you conquer all your fears!"

With her face still between her knees, Lily let out a muffled grunt. "Don't even joke about it. You almost died twice in one day. I'm freaking out for you."

"I'm freaking out too," Severus admitted, "but I have faith that things will get better and I'll finally be left alone this year. I've taken the lead."

"What did you do?" Lily straightened up before turning to Severus, who moved away from her to get a better look at her face. She must have been holding back tears because her eyes had reddened. Her cheeks were also covered in large red patches, almost making her freckles disappear in places. Severus contemplated them before running his thumb over them to check for tear tracks and Lily let him before finally grabbing his wrist. Still sullen, she inspected the bandages around his fingers and readjusted one of them.

"I didn't cry," she said simply. "I just rubbed my eyes."

"Usually when you pull that face, it's because you want to."

Lily's hand tightened on his. "Or that I'm upset," she replied in a matter-of-fact manner, "And right now I'm very upset. Because of Potter. That's who you're talking about, right? That guy's a public menace! And he's really coming after you! What did you do? Did you contact a lawyer?"

"A lawyer?" laughed Severus, "What for? I thought about it overnight and it would be pointless, we both fell off the stair gate. He didn't just push me. Potter is an asshole but not a murderer. Either way, he shouldn't be a problem for me anymore. Last night I made a deal."

"A deal?" Lily repeated with a raised eyebrow, "With who? Potter?"

Severus did not answer and simply and simply pointed to the row of beds facing them. Lying full length against Lupin, his feet sticking off of the mattress, Black slept deeply. A loud snore escaped him from time to time and echoed throughout the infirmary. It was a miracle that it didn't wake Severus during the night.

In fact, the more he thought about the night he had spent with the two Marauders, the more surreal it seemed. So absurd that when he had opened his eyes this morning, he had been convinced that he had just had a nightmare. Then his eyes had landed on Black's stupid face and he'd realized that everything he remembered was true. This was his reality now. A reality as bizarre as it was stupid that he would have to adapt to.

That said, considering the feat he had accomplished last night, he was doing pretty well for the moment.

Lily followed Severus' gesture and glared at the other Gryffindor as well before turning her head back to her best friend in confusion. "What? Did you make a deal with that idiot?"

"With that big idiot, yeah," Severus sneered, "and, trust me, with what happened yesterday and the information I now have in my possession, it's all the Marauders who are going to get off my back!"

Flabbergasted, Lily glanced at Sirius again. "But what exactly did you do? You tell me that like something crazy happened!" Her features suddenly contracted into a small, suspicious pout. "I hope you didn't break the rules. I know that's his specialty. You didn't do anything illegal, did you?"

If Severus didn't nod, he didn't contradict her either, and the two looked at each other in silence. The Slytherin did his best to keep from smiling, reveling in Lily's expression as she continued to stare at him, her face growing redder and her lips so pursed that they were beginning to disappear.

"You did something illegal!" she finally shouted, her hand dropping Severus' to smack him on the shoulder. "And with that idiot too! You're so stupid!"

Severus would have laughed, but Lily's blow, though unintentional, had reignited his burns. He suddenly pulled away from her with a grimace, folding his arms against his chest. "Ha! Don't do that! I'm burned all over, I remind you!"

"Oh sorry!" exclaimed Lily, her anger immediately gone. She reflexively tried to touch him, but at the last moment put her hands against her chest for fear of making the situation worse. "Sorry, I didn't think I was going to hurt you! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…" Severus reassured her as he continued to protect his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I just need some rest. I spent part of the night carrying around a dead weight, so it must have rubbed my bandages on my burns. Plus, I fell out of bed and now my back is all messed up..."

"What do you mean? What the hell did you do last night?" Lily asked with an adorable frown, clearly frustrated that she was still not understanding the situation. "I.. Wait a minute, make yourself comfortable. Come on, let's lie down... Get back on your pillows..."

She helped Severus get comfortable on the pile of cushions that filled the bed and then climbed the mountain of bedding herself to sit beside him. The feather pillows settled under their weight, causing their bodies to slide against each other, and Lily's head soon found itself resting close to the Slytherin's.

"Well, I guess we can't say Madam Pomfrey is stingy with pillows... My butt isn't even touching the mattress..." she breathed with a smile, "Anyway, you have a nice view from up there... Pretty panorama..."

There was a silence, and though Severus couldn't turn his head because of his neck brace, he knew Lily was watching him. The wool of her cloak was sticking to his Infirmary gown, creating a wave of heat over half of his body. It wasn't the first time they had been this close. In fact, they had always been the tactile kind. How many days had they spent side by side watching the sky or just reading while lying in Lily's bed? How many times had they curled up together in his own house to face the only working heater? From an outside perspective, the situation was no different than usual.

Yet Severus felt that their relationship was changing.

He didn't really have a logical explanation for this theory. It was more of a gut instinct than anything else. It had started during the summer vacations, when a girl had spoken to him at the box office of the cinema where he worked. A girl of his age, visiting her grandparents, who had slipped him some compliments. Convinced that she'd made fun of him, Severus had complained to Lily. She hadn't said anything, limiting herself to a frown before changing the subject, but it seemed to Severus that her behavior had changed since then. He could sense it in the way she kept moving closer to him, the way she kept pressing her head against his whenever she could, grabbing his hand to caress his bony wrists. As if the situation had made her think, had given birth in her a new desire.

Perhaps a whole new path was open to him.

And that terrified him.

Of course, it wasn't as if he had never dreamed of taking such a step. How many times had he caught himself hoping for more from their relationship? Always with the same shame, the same feeling of imposture that washed over him. Lily was his best friend. For a long time, she had even been his only friend. He had built himself with her. On her, even. Like a city hanging on a cliff. Her leaving him would be like the ground from under him disappearing, sending him falling down. What would happen if he tried to take the plunge only to find out he was wrong? Worse, what if Lily really loved him but their relationship failed? If the change he'd always hoped for destroyed their relationship, eroded their foundation, what would be left of them?

What would be left of him?

"Are you deep in thought or do you just like to blow me off?"

Severus blinked and suddenly came to his senses as he heard Lily's voice. Her little hand waved in front of his eyes, trying to get his attention. The sun's rays reflected off the cheap jewelry she wore on her wrist, with the one Severus had given her for her birthday glowing in the middle. The beads were made of plastic half-spheres glued together, creating a subtle joining line. Unfortunately, when sunlight shone through the bracelet, this line became more visible, creating a thick shadow that went all around the bracelet.

"Hello, Earth calling Sev!" Lily insisted, "What are you doing to me now? Are you brain-dead? Did your concussion finish you off?"

Severus laughed lightly before reaching out to gently grasp Lily's wrist as he continued to study the bracelet. "Sorry. I was thinking I could have found something better. One day I'll get you a nice gift."

Lily stopped fidgeting and looked at the beads in turn. She straightened up to appear in Severus' line of sight, her red hair framing the Slytherin's face as she leaned over him, smiling fondly. "I wear it every day, Sev. It's already a nice gift."

Again, Severus didn't respond, his eyes wandering to the freckles that dotted his best friend's cheeks before he finally dared to meet her gaze. Lily's big green eyes covered him with a tenderness he didn't know how to respond to. Which provoked in him a sudden rise of panic. Although he had tried to show her all the forms of affection that he knew, he felt like he was teetering on the edge of his limits when Lily fixed him like that. As if she suddenly spoke a new language.

He had never experienced this level of love before. How to react? How to love fully when all his life he had only been loved halfway? "Not loved, not lovable," his father would sometimes tell him. His mother would nod or protest depending on her moods. When had he done wrong? Severus didn't know. But it had kept him from growing. He may have seemed mature in many ways, but unfortunately, his parents had left him with a heart still in the building.

He just didn't have the tools to withstand the pressure.

"Last night, Lupin went crazy and took me hostage with my own wand so we would go see Dumbledore. Filch caught us and I started arguing with him while Lupin was having an anxiety attack. Finally, Black joined us and knocked the caretaker out by punching him in the face. Instead of turning him in, I helped him erase Filch's memories and we left him in the hallway to return to the infirmary. After that, we made a pact: I keep my mouth shut and the Marauders leave me alone."

He had said this in one breath while fleeing from Lily's gaze. He had preferred to keep the fact that Lupin was a werewolf under wraps so as not to panic Lily any further, but he could already feel the storm brewing. Was he losing out by turning an intimate scene with Lily into an argument? Probably. But at least he could handle this kind of situation.

Anxiously, he looked up at Lily again, but the redhead wasn't really paying attention to him anymore. She was simply staring into space, eyebrows furrowed, as she tried to digest all the information he had just unpacked for her.

"You did...what?" she finally asked as she straightened up. "You did... what?" she had repeated the last word in a strangled voice, her face suddenly red and her eyes filled with fury.

Severus remained silent, both frightened and fascinated by the sight before him. Sometimes Lily reminded him a little of his mother, but he knew that if he ever told her, the girl would spiral into an existential crisis. Few people wanted to be like Eileen Snape, with her fiery temper and changeable moods. Her love that seemed to come and go depending on her blood alcohol level. Of course, Lily was nothing like her mother in that last respect, but Severus recognized in both women the same sensitivity, exacerbated to the point of disabling, that they tried to hide under sudden fits of anger. This did not stop him from loving Lily, on the contrary. And although it had taken him a long time to decipher her, he also loved his mother.

"You're... You're completely stupid!" shouted Lily again, "Do you realize how much trouble you've gotten yourself into? You... You are not like them! We are not like them! We can't do whatever we want, break all the rules, and never suffer any real fallout! Black can do anything he likes, he can even get expelled, he'll always have his family to support him! The same goes for Potter! They don't know what it's like to have to work, whether it's at school or during the summer vacations to pay for their school supplies, to have to sweat blood to save money in hope to continue their studies! They don't know what it's like to have to put pressure on themselves constantly to try to get a scholarship! They don't care! Even if they were the worst students in the world, they would still find a way to end up in a high position! I'm sure they'd even manage to avoid Azkaban if they ever got caught screwing up! But that's not the case with us! We're... We're nothing. My parents are deep in debt and yours can barely keep a roof over their heads. They all work in a crappy factory in a crappy town out in the middle of nowhere. They can't help us. Worse, we'll have to help them. And, when they'll be gone, we'll have to pay for them..." she paused for breath, staring at Severus almost pleadingly as she leaned back into him, "We're on our own, Sev. You know that, right? If you let their nonsense carry you away, you're the one who's going to get the blame in the end. Not them. You're aiming for an academy of excellence, Severus. You're destined to work with the Ministry. They'll never accept you if they hear about this. So, please, stay away from them. Stay with me. Let's do what we've always done. Just you and me against the world."

Severus stared at her in amazement, not really knowing how to respond. What to say to such a statement? He'd expected Lily to yell at him, not to give him such a fair shake. She was right, he had taken a reckless risk last night. Even if he had managed to turn the situation to his advantage, he had to be careful. The Marauders were vicious enough to take him down with them if the situation got out of hand. He and Lily had plans to take up a flat after Hogwarts. He couldn't let her down.

"Just you and me against the world…" Severus repeated quietly, "I'm so sorry I did that to you..."

Lily took her head in her hands and massaged her temples. "Don't do it again, please. It wore me out. It's a good thing you didn't get caught. Besides, you're lucky, Peeves claims he did it."

"Peeves?" asked Severus in disbelief, "What does Peeves have to do with this? What exactly is he saying?"

Lily shrugged. "Oh, he just turned up in the Great Hall bragging about knocking the caretaker down and when the teachers asked him questions, he distracted them by levitating buns and throwing them in the faces of the first years before running off. Nothing unusual there... They'll probably believe him. It benefits us..."

It benefited them, yes. And there was nothing unusual about it either. Peeves loved to boast and had been at war with the caretaker since he arrived. Yet Severus found the news somewhat disturbing. What if Peeves had caught them last night? "Do you think that-"

"Miss Evans," Madam Pomfrey cut them off as she stormed into the infirmary, clearly in a bad mood, "I remind you that visitors are not allowed to sit in the beds in the infirmary. This is a matter of hygiene. If you want to sit next to your friend, take a seat. It's not as if there's a shortage of them."

Lily leapt from the mattress at her words, her cheeks flushing as she hurriedly pulled one of the metal chairs towards her. "Excuse me, Madam Pomfrey! I won't do it again!"

The nurse continued to grumble, "And let me remind you that the infirmary is also connected to the kitchens so there's no need to bring in food! Look at that! It looks like an all-you-can-eat buffet!" With a pinched face, she walked up the row of beds until she stopped in front of Black's. "He's still asleep," she muttered, putting her hands on her hips, "When I came by earlier, he was already here. Has he been here all night? Mister Snape, do you know when he arrived?"

"Very early this morning, it seems to me," Severus replied calmly despite Lily's muffled grunt, "He woke me up when he dragged his bed. But no, he didn't spend the night here."

The nurse didn't seem convinced. She must have known the Gryffindor well by this point in time. She finally grabbed his shoulder, shaking him vigorously to wake him up. "Mister Black! Get up! Look at me! How long have you been here? I hope you haven't spent the night here! You know that's against the rules, don't you?"

Severus had thought her action cruel at the time, but Black's face was worth it. The Gryffindor had sat up with a start, his eyes still glued shut by fatigue and his brown hair flattened on his cheek by the pillow. Mouth open, he looked the nurse up and down before muttering with difficulty, "Damn... Is that... Is that you? Ah... It's just that... No, no... I've... I got up very early... I couldn't sleep..."

The nurse's expression didn't change and she remained planted in front of Black to gauge him. "I know you're very invested in your friend's health problems," she finally said, "But you're not allowed to hang around the halls at night, let alone come here. If I find out you're making nighttime visits to him, I'll take points off your house. Is that understood?"

Still looking sleepy, Black absentmindedly nodded. "Clear as day, yes..."

Again, his answer didn't seem to satisfy Madam Pomfrey, but she didn't press the issue. " Do me a favor and keep quiet, everyone. If there's any trouble, ring the bell. I must prepare some new potions to cure Mister Lupin."

"How is he?" Black asked hastily as he turned to Lupin. The latter seemed to be sound asleep, his face paler than usual and his eyes blackened by fatigue. His fragility at this moment was contrary to everything that had happened yesterday. Where did the Herculean strength he had used against Severus come from? The Slytherin did not know. He still found it hard to believe that Lupin, usually so inconspicuous, could have posed such a threat. He could still see the fury in Lupin's eyes as he clasped his hands around his neck brace as if someone else had taken possession of him. Sure, he'd made a deal with Black, but Severus wondered if it was wise to allow a werewolf to hang out with other students if he was capable of such violence, conscious or not.

"He is better, but he is still weak," replied the nurse, her face softening at the sight of Lupin. "His fever is still high and he's caught a cold. It mustn't go to his lungs. I'm going to give him several treatments to revive him a little. In the meantime, keep quiet." She turned on her heel and walked out of the infirmary, leaving them alone.

Black rubbed his eyes and yawned loudly. He placed his feet on the floor one after the other before slowly rising to stretch and Severus wondered how the Blacks could have given birth to such a large and stupid child. Everything about him seemed too long: his legs, his torso, his arms. His mouth and eyes were huge too, making his expressions almost cartoonish. Though that didn't stop him from being handsome, like all members of his family. Still, there was an excess about Black, whether it was in his strength, his overly large movements, or the often theatrical way he expressed himself that made Severus uncomfortable to the point of often irritating him.

"Ah, I'm knackered..." complained Black, stretching his arms back to contract his back, "I'm aching all over..." He sniffed mightily before raising his head, "Hey, it smells like toast here." He turned towards the cart full of food and whistled in admiration, "Wow! What's all this? Good thing I'm starving!"

"I'm the one who brought it back," Lily replied dryly, glaring at him, "For Severus."

"Like he's going to eat all that," Black replied with a smile. He knelt in front of the cart and began rummaging through the dishes. After grabbing a piece of toast, he spread it with butter and jam and began to eat it standing in front of the bed. "Too bad there's no tea, I'm so thirsty."

Lily's face turned livid and she crossed her arms before tucking her chin in and settling back in her chair. Severus straightened up in his bed in response, scowling at Black, "She's not the maid, Black. If you want breakfast that badly, I suggest you go to the Great Hall. Besides, we're not supposed to talk to each other anymore, I remind you."

His last sentence made the Gryffindor raise an eyebrow. Looking suddenly annoyed, he swallowed a large mouthful of his toast before asking, "Does she know?"

"If I know something, she knows it too," Severus merely replied.

"And I want you to keep your end of the bargain, Black," Lily scolded in turn. "So you'd better leave us alone. Besides, I'm a prefect now. I won't hesitate to take points off if I see you anywhere near him."

It was true that Lily had been appointed prefect at the beginning of the school year. It suited her. Severus hoped that in their seventh year, she would end up Head Girl. She deserved it.

Black was about to reply when a groan was heard behind them. Lupin had just opened his eyes. His face exhausted, he looked around until he laid eyes on his friend. "Si... Sirius..."

"Remus!" Black dropped his toast to rush towards him, "Remus! Are you alright? How are you feeling? Don't worry I'm here now! I'm here, okay?" He passed one of his hands behind Lupin's neck to help him lift his head and breathe better. "Take your time, take a deep breath. Madam Pomfrey is preparing your medicine..."

"Is Remus awake?" It was Peter Pettigrew who had just asked that question. He had entered the infirmary followed by small cakes, cups, and a teapot floating in the air. He offered Severus and Lily an awkward smile before taking his place beside Black. "I've brought breakfast... Where's James? Didn't he come?"

"No," Black harshly replied before turning his attention back to Lupin, "Remus, do you want anything? Do you want to eat? Drink?"

Lupin nodded with difficulty before he uttered in a hoarse voice. "Drink."

"He wants to drink!" barked Black to Peter, "Quick, give him some tea!"

Peter hurriedly filled a cup which Sirius almost snatched from his hands to bring to Remus' lips, continuing to hold his head to help him drink. "Here, here you go. Be careful, it's hot... I'm here now. You've got nothing to worry about. I'm here..."

It was amazing, the way Black, who usually took up all the available space without a care in the world, suddenly managed to curl up on himself. Severus watched him cower in front of Lupin, diminishing everything about himself, his size, his strength, his voice, to bring himself down to his friend's level, to make himself accepted. The way he stared at Lupin's lips as he spoke, watching him drink as if his own life depended on it, swallowing with him. The way he stroked the base of his neck with his thumb, surely thinking no one could see him. He suddenly exuded a candor that reminded Severus of the one he'd shown when he was with Lily. With an almost painful desire to love and be loved in return.

It suddenly dawned on him.

Sirius Black was in love with Remus Lupin.

An uncontrolled chuckle passed through Severus' lips, followed by another and soon he could not help but burst out laughing. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes as he brought a hand to his chest. He felt like he was delusional but each new glance at Black seemed to confirm his suspicions. If it was true, it was really extraordinary! Black in love with Lupin! It was the best joke of the year and it had only just begun! Oh, Severus couldn't wait to see the outcome, really! He was willing to be strangled as many times as necessary by Lupin if he gave that idiot a knockback in return!

"What's the matter?" asked Lily worriedly as she leaned towards him, "Why are you laughing all of a sudden? Are you okay?"

Severus struggled to answer her. He laughed so hard that his body ached, his corset pressing against his ribs as he couldn't help but bend over, carried away in his outburst. Wiping his eyes, he finally managed to articulate, "I think... Ha... I'll tell you about it later... You'll see... You... You'll find it incredibly funny too!"

Still completely astonished at the revelation, he wanted to discreetly show Lily how Black was groping Lupin's neck, but she had frozen. Severus followed her gaze reflexively, turning towards the entrance before suddenly losing his smile.

With his hair in a mess and his broom in his hand, James Potter stood at the door of the infirmary.

"James!" exclaimed Peter as he stood up, "Come here! Remus is here and he's woken up!"

Potter didn't answer. He didn't even give him a glance. He remained motionless, grim-faced, his eyes fixed on Severus. He seemed to have sucked all the joy out of the room like a Dementor, and the Slytherin swallowed hard. What did he want from him? Hadn't he had enough after what had happened yesterday? Hadn't the fight with him been enough? What did he intend to do? Drag him back down the stairs and push him off the railing again?

Without removing his gaze from Severus, Potter walked towards him with heavy, torturous steps, his hand so tight on the handle of his broom that it turned white. Before he could reach him, however, Lily jumped from her chair to stop him in his path, putting herself between the two boys. "James! If you take one more step in his direction, I swear on Merlin, you'll have to deal with me first and you won't like it!"

Potter paused briefly and stared at the redhead before simply walking around her. Still silent, he moved closer to the bed and Severus tried to guess from his gait what he was going to say to hurt him. A taunt? A defiant remark? Potter was never short of imagination when it came to putting him down. Ah, he was good at clowning around at Severus' expense to make his little friends giggle. The Gryffindors were the first to boast of being the best, the bravest. How brave was it to gang up on the same victim? Severus didn't know. At least the Slytherins weren't hypocrites. They assumed their cruelty.

James parted his lips and Severus expected him to lash out at him. Yet the Gryffindor simply closed his mouth again, merely pulling a red velvet purse from his pocket and twisting it between his fingers, his face tense. What was he thinking? Compared to Black, he had always been hard to read. Ever since their first year, he'd been content to display the same anger when they saw each other. That dull fury that closed his features, that gave off that black aura around him that continued to impress Severus despite the years.

"You think you're special but you're not." That was what Severus had said to him on the train when they'd first met. It was clear that he had been wrong. When Potter was around, everything became more complex. James Potter, the rich kid, the pureblood born to draw crowds, to feel the sun shine on his face. James Potter with his witty features and his impetuous nature, his charisma that made everything forgivable. Severus had despised him at first. Then he had hated him, envied him to the point of excess, fascination. Only James's anger for him gave him respite. He had found a selfish, almost guilty pleasure in Potter's desperate need to humiliate him. Because it meant that Potter saw something in him that Severus himself did not. If James only sought to impose his dominance on him, then he was worth it, wasn't he? Severus knew that the rage the Gryffindor showed towards him went beyond mere adolescent pettiness. It went beyond the frustration James might feel for Lily. The self-esteem wound he had suffered in the carriage. There was something more to it and Severus liked it. He would never admit it, not to Lily, not to anyone else because he was so ashamed of it, but deep down, James' hatred made him feel wanted.

That didn't stop Severus from trying to end the fight. From wanting peace. Lily was right, if he continued to mess with the Marauders, he would end up the loser in the end. But Severus knew that while he would benefit from Potter's distance, he would also end up missing him.

God, what was he saying? Maybe his mother was right after all. The reason Severus attracted so much unhappiness was because he liked to wallow in it.

"I'm sorry."

It took Severus a few seconds to realize the words that had just come out of James' mouth. They were unnervingly banal, but spoken in such a sinister voice. Yesterday, too, he had slipped him some kind words, in just the right tone this time, when Mulciber had shoved him and Severus had wavered in pain. How it had frightened him when James had shouted his name. It had moved him too. But, as a result, it had scared him even more. He wasn't used to this gentleness and his animal instincts had screamed at him not to let it happen. Rightly so, since his blood had ended up spilling on the castle floor. And to think that James had played his little act to make Lily believe that he cared about his fate...

No, this time Severus wouldn't be fooled.

"Is that all you have to say? I don't care about your excuses." Severus had to counter. He had to show James that he wasn't a dupe anymore. That nothing he could say or do would have any effect on him. Yet it was hard to look at him with disdain when he saw James' face, so tense it looked painful.

The Gryffindor's tongue flicked nervously over his lips and he clutched the velvet purse to his chest, his fingers digging into the fabric until it distorted. What was in it? If James was holding on to it so tightly it had to be something precious, right?

"What am I supposed to say?" James' voice rose with the same harshness, making Severus jump, "I don't want..." Perhaps he was speaking so abruptly because his throat was knotted. He seemed to be struggling to express himself, "I don't want..."

Behind James, Lily was looking between the two boys with wide eyes, obviously as bewildered by the situation as he was.

The velvet purse tapped against Severus' arm. James had swung his hand towards him with surprising speed and his fingers crushed his shoulder until Severus whimpered.

"I don't want you to disappear."

James's eyes showed no emotion, like two dark pools. Two puddles Severus was ready to jump into with both feet.

If Eileen Snape found out, she would probably laugh at him, "Irredeemable. Like me."

Here's another big chapter that takes us a little further into the story! This is Severus' first POV and I hope you like his way of thinking. Even though the differences between the POVs are slight, I'm trying to give each character their own specific tone.