Usopp made Kaya hide in the trees and spread spikes over the slope as first rays of light started throwing long shadows everywhere. He saw the big ship of the Black Cat Pirates sliding into view, spying the weird hypnotist backwards guy at the helm. Not facing him. It was so weird. Everything was also so surreal and scary he didn't know what to do with himself.
So he just fingered his pouches, the round metal balls ready for him to shoot with his trusty slingshot. He only had a few Gunpowder Stars… He wouldn't lead with those so Lead Stars it was.
"Usopp-san," Kaya whispered as she poked her head out of the bush she was hiding behind. "You don't have to do this. I can just-"
"No. Don't say that. I won't let you sacrifice yourself," he stated, voice quivering just a fraction because hiding with her sounded safe and he wanted to feel that. "I need to do this. Otherwise my home will…"
Kaya stayed silent. He didn't need to finish that sentence. The first pirates came to shore. She prayed Usopp's friends would get there in time.
Pounding feet and roaring yells. Usopp told himself the knocking at his knees was because the ground was shaking. He raised his weapon, steeling his spine, and opened his mouth.
"I- I h-ha-," he stopped to take a deep breath. "STOP RIGHT THERE!"
Miraculously, they slowed down to listen. Jango looked up with an impassive face. Usopp remembered him hypnotizing Luffy and Naruto and fought the shudder that overtook him. The 'briefing' the young ninja had held with the crew to put a plan together included what he thought they were facing and Jango was identified as the Number Two threat.
Kuro being Number One. And on the other side of the island with Straw Hat and his crew.
He gulped fearfully but continued with his task.
"RETREAT NOW, OR I'LL SICK MY ARMY OF A MI- HUNDRED MEN ON YOU!" he declared with finality, only remembering the impromptu lying lesson with Naruto when they were talking with Kaya, saying the lie was more believable if it was possible and proceeding to prove his point by poking Usopp's story full of holes.
Dead. Silence. Some pirates looked pale. Others skeptical and looking to their captain for orders. Then someone chuckled.
"Really now? A hundred? Under the command of someone like you?" he laughed.
Usopp, inexplicably, relaxed a little. This was like patching up the holes questioners made. Yeah, he was only telling a lie to Kaya at the mansion and she and Naruto were trying to pick it apart. Just that, no deadly swords in dangerous hands opposing him, nope.
"DON'T UNDERESTIMATE OUR LOYALTY TO THIS VILLAGE!" he roared. "YOUR TRUE LEADER, CAPTAIN KURO, HAS BEEN DEFEATED IN THE NIGHT! IF YOU DON'T WISH TO SUFFER THE SAME FATE, LEAVE THIS ISLAND AND NEVER RETURN!"
That made them quiet down. Usopp was sweating, wondering if he did it right by bringing up their illustrious former captain. Whom Luffy was keeping busy at the moment. 'Defeated in the night' hopefully wasn't an exaggeration. Otherwise they were all dead meat.
What's that Naruto said? The best lies are centered around truth?
His words seemed to be correct if the men's uncertain or gaping faces were any indication.
"What was that?" Jango asked. "Captain Kuro, defeated?"
"That's impossible!"
"OUTRAGEOUS!"
"But- But if he's telling the truth…"
"Calm down, man. Captain Kuro is too strong!"
Usopp felt himself shaking as he realized that some truths might not be the best to base a lie on. Especially if the truth was too unbelievable to believe. He took his slingshot and quickly loaded it, aiming. His hands were steady now even if his insides were twisted up so badly he felt he might vibrate out of his skin.
"LEAVE! WE HAVE WEAPONS AIMED AT YOU! CHARGE AND YOU'LL BE SHOT DOWN!"
His voice would be hoarse after this. If 'this' worked it'd be worth it. He could see the men hesitating. Jango looked up under the rim of his hat, heart shaped sunglasses flashing.
"Move forward, men. We need to defeat them, for Captain Kuro!"
The men looked fearful, realizing something. It was unlikely Captain Kuro was dead. If he saw them dawdling like this, though, because of a possible threat up the slope in the woods… it was likely they would all die.
With that, they all yelled as one and started charging.
A few steps forward and some in the back relaxed because nothing had happened. But then the first ones started yelling and falling and the man on top of the hill was flinging projectiles at them so fast they didn't have time to react. It was like the front was being shot at with invisible things. They slowed down.
Jango lifted his hypnosis ring. Usopp felt his eyes drawn to it, scared, and abruptly closed them.
He wasn't getting hypnotized!
A sound of something whizzing through the air. No phrases. No talking. Just a whiz and…
Something big slammed into his side and- warm. Weird liquid? On his arm. Usopp's eyes snapped open as he fell to the side, Kaya's form hugging him from the middle. The whizzing sound was past him and a glint of silver flew back to where it came from like a boomerang.
He braced himself on one arm, landing with a thump. Pain flared. And not from the side he landed, but the bicep of his other arm. It had a long, quite deep cut just under his shoulder. His eyes widened as it dripped red on Kaya's beige coat.
"K- Kaya!" he yelped.
She lifted her head, revealing scared dark brown eyes. They landed on his wound and, to his horror, started watering. Then her expression hardened and she rose up, taking a gun out of nowhere and aiming it at the pirate horde that had stopped with their comrades downed and writhing in pain on the ground.
"Don't MOVE! Or I'll shoot!" she threatened, voice trembling just slightly.
Usopp felt his heart stop at the sight. He ignored the pain, rising up to his feet, trying not to think about where the apparently bladed hypnosis tool would have landed if he'd stayed still.
He fumbled with his slingshot pulling it back and pulling at his wound in the same movement, stepping right next to Kaya.
The pirates were looking at them weirdly.
"...Charge, men! The army is a lie! Get the girl, she's the one whose fortune Captain Kuro wants!" Jango yelled orders.
The men looked at their downed comrades who dug spikes out of their footwear and places where they dug into their skin. They looked at the ground, noticing them littering the slope for the first time.
"Straight ahead, boys!" one yelled. "Watch your step!"
"I KNEW he was lying!"
Kaya had started shaking. Usopp gulped. This was not going well.
Just then, a kid jumped from the trees. The two gasped, realizing who it was in an instant. A bright grin cut across his whiskered cheeks as he landed, bringing his fingers to a familiar cross form.
"WHO'RE YOU CALLING A LIE, HUH!?" Naruto screamed as around fifty of him poofed to existence.
The mass of yellow-brown-black yelled a war cry as it descended on the surprised and fumbling group of attackers. Some cried out as they were struck by fists, feet, or a blade and flung into the ground or walls. Naruto didn't look it but he was pretty strong, especially for a kid. The shadow clones had his full weight and muscle mass as chakra. Some got hit and popped out of existence but many of them downed one or two opponents before that.
It was enough to decimate the entire force, leaving them groaning on the ground and fourteen Narutos standing above them.
Jango was staring at the sight, impassive but sweating. One of his eyebrows ticked with stress.
"You're strong. We just have to be stronger. Men!" he lifted the pendulum, heads turning towards him. "When I say 'one, two, Jango' you'll be healed and much stronger than before!"
"Oh, no you don't!" Narutos charged forward, blocking eyesight and lunged from too many directions.
"One," Jango dodged the first seven hits, still waving the pendulum. "Two. Jango!"
Only around twenty pirates rose from the ground, Naruto's clones having blocked the rest from seeing and some too injured to rise anyway.
...Some of Naruto's clones yelled 'kai'. Naruto himself had closed his eyes. But he felt the connection to some of his clones flood with an angry frenzy. He knew how sticky that genjutsu was and couldn't blame them for not being able to shake it off wholly.
Wait, he could use this!
Three clones grinned at each other as they realized the same, stopping from fighting the hypnosis. He had eight left. They roared at the charging and equally strengthened pirates, blitzing into the frey like madmen and knocking people left and right, getting proofed in return.
The result was nine left on Black Cat Pirates side, five left on Naruto's. His wounds were bleeding again and he panted heavily.
Just then his crew arrived at the top of the hill, arguing with each other and Merry.
Seemingly about the slightly squirming, very tied up form of a black butler that hung over Zoro's shoulder.
"Cap- CAPTAIN KURO!?" the pirates yelled as they realized.
"No way! The long nosed guy was telling the truth!?"
"I can't believe this!"
Jango was definitely sweating now, "Impossible!"
The Black Cat Pirates froze as their former captain lifted his head to stare at them with soulless black eyes. Zoro bonked his head with the hilt of Wado Ichimonji. He fell limp.
"Naruto, get up here and actually rest!" Nami yelled from the top.
The ninja wrinkled his nose, glancing around at the trembling pirates, but complied and left his clones behind to knock out the rest of the downed crew. Luffy patted his head twice before literally picking him up from his scruff and throwing him at Merry. He yelped, surprised.
"Idiot! What if you'd made him worse!?" Merry griped, tightening up bandages from where he'd started to bleed as Kaya ripped some more of his very abused suit coat to patch up Usopp's cut.
Usopp was lying on the ground, a dazed look in his eyes as though he was struggling to believe what had just happened. He looked like he was close to weeping in relief. Both for their arrival and their survival.
He roused to begin a quiet argument about recklessness with Kaya. Naruto didn't think it'd go anywhere.
His attention drifted to his crew. Luffy was standing back and playing with Kuro's broken-beyond-repair glasses and laughing when the twisted up temples snapped back to hit his, well, temples. He blinked at that, chuckling for a moment too, before focusing on the slope.
Zoro had gone down with Nami. The navigator was facing the last nine standing while Zoro and the clones surrounded Jango.
Until Jango called reinforcements from the ship.
The… Nyaban Brothers?
"You're not gonna help?" Naruto asked Luffy.
"Zoro's annoyed he hasn't gotten to fight yet."
"Ah."
True to his Captain's words, the clones down the slope backed away to become Zoro's own cheering squad. Much to the swordsman's ire. Unfortunately, up the slope it was much harder to hear what was going on down there. Instead he was subjected to prodding and fussing from a nice sheep butler and watched Luffy poke their unconscious captive.
"Usopp! Clones! Stop flailing about and start helping me tie these people up!" Nami screeched, fuming as she took a rope out of nowhere.
Naruto looked at Usopp to see he was being hugged by Kaya and literally flailing. His clones were doing much the same as a commentator and cheering group. He wordlessly crossed his fingers and made six more clones, two of which ran off to get more rope. He asked Usopp if he had any hidden away in his belongings. The sharpshooter did have some. He got directions for his clones with a foxy grin, determined to do a prank on the unsuspecting teen's home.
By then Merry was done and went to talk with Kaya quietly as Usopp rose to help Nami. Luffy had gotten bored and joined Naruto's cheering squad, much to Zoro's ire as he got distracted enough for the catty brothers to steal a sheath.
He felt his grin transform into something softer. This was… fun. Good. Like he was someone he had always wanted to be. The one saving the day, with friends, and having fun while at it.
This was… good. He could get used to it.
A collective gasp sounded behind him.
"See? We told you Captain Usopp wasn't lying!"
His brow twitched, having a suspicion about this. The blond turned his head around to see what looked like the entire village gaping at the pirate ship and decimated crew, and what looked like a fighting ring down at the bottom. In the lead were the three kids Naruto had saved from their own stupidity just a bit ago.
"Wh- What's happened here!?"
The whole village looked to Kaya, Merry, and Naruto in askance.
This would take a while.
xXXx
Syrup Village hadn't looked this festive in a long time. Sure, there were holidays but they were usually spent more quietly. Exchanging gifts, listening to some speech or other, wishing people well and celebrating with family. Almost all of the people knew each other so birthdays and farewells seemed like more big a deal.
This time? This time the usually dull monotony of days had been broken by a thwarted attack. A three year plot was uncovered, the town liar had told the truth and defended them, and a small group of youngsters who insisted they were pirates had defeated the traitor and his plot.
Really, it was something out of a fairy tale! No wonder the village was throwing a party for their continuous survival and their saviors.
The Marines had been contacted and they would pick up the Black Cat Pirates within the day. Nami, Usopp, and Naruto's clones had done an excellent job at tying them up. The whole crew was mostly unconscious and stuffed in jail cells that hadn't seen a lot of use in the sleepy sort of town.
Luffy looked right at home in the eating competition while Zoro and Nami enjoyed good sake. Tamanegi, Piiman, and Ninjin were playing around and reenacting much of the battles that had gone on that day. Naruto had joined them, offering many different perspectives since his clones had been all over the place.
Zoro vs. the Nyaban Brothers was an awesome theateristic show that even the adults enjoyed seeing. Luffy had joined Naruto in cheering the swordsman on but then got in Jango's path and suddenly Naruto's clones had been very busy trying to keep their captain from getting hypnotized. Again. It was a very funny story now that it was told afterwards.
Needless to say, four tag teaming Naruto clones plus Luffy was too much. Jango had been down for the count fast and Naruto felt vindicated for putting the one who framed him in jail. Luffy had gotten a punch in just for that. It felt weird to be defended. He was used to doing the defending.
"Nami-san, are you hurt at all?" Kaya asked after she moved on from treating a reluctant Zoro who had had to put his sake bottle down for treatment.
The lady had had Merry get some real medical supplies from the town doctor and came to assist the man in patching the fighters up. Naruto had been first to go. Much to their surprise his wounds had substantially healed already and only needed very few stitches. They wouldn't scar. That the boy knew both from experience and the doctor's say so.
"I'm perfectly fine!" Nami smiled, lifting her small glass a little. "Would you like some?"
"I don't drink, though the offer is appreciated," the mansion owner replied kindly.
"Then you'll have to settle with a verbal thank you for your gift," the thief winked and took a small sip of the liquid.
Kaya and Merry were too kind and gave the pirates a nice little Caravel called the Going Merry. Luffy had gotten a kick out of exploring and Naruto followed suit, snickering all the while. Zoro and Nami kind of turned around in a 'I don't want to know' gesture once they both started laughing.
"No, no! The ship is my thanks to you for saving me!"
The two ladies engaged in pleasant conversation after that. Nami probably enquired about the big boat's capacities in the waters and if there were any quirks she should know of. Kaya had to drag Merry into the conversation too with him being the main carer of the caravel.
Somehow, Usopp himself wasn't really anywhere to be seen.
Until- "NARUTO, WHERE DID YOU PUT MY STUFF!"
The man broke into a coughing fit after shouting, face twisted halfway between anger and ouch. Naruto felt a grin sneak on his face.
"Right where they need to be!"
Usopp had marched right up to him to grab and lift the stupid prankster off his feet… if it wasn't for his arm he would've. As of now he just glared at the offending bandages and seethed at Naruto.
"And that is?" he growled.
"Your room," the ninja replied, grin unwavering.
The young man let out a gurgling noise made grabby hands at his throat, except right after he had to wince and grab at his bicep.
"YOU- cough, cough- I need to pack!" he rasped out.
A hand landed on Naruto's head. The blond didn't bother to check who, already knowing by the slightly stretched stomach that bumped his arm and the signature laugh from above his head.
"Naruto packed for you!"
"Wait, wha- I didn't tell you I was leaving, did I? And that doesn't explain where it all is!"
Around that point the village had started circulating what Usopp was saying and crowding happened all around them. Many murmurs of 'he's leaving?' and 'following his father' went about.
"On our ship!" Luffy and Naruto chorused, grinning at Usopp's flabbergasted expression.
"But- But- I'm going off to become… a…," Usopp blinked as he realized what he was saying, "...pirate?"
"Yeah! You're coming with us!" the Captain of the crew cheered.
A few cheers erupted around them from the village. People patted Usopp's back and told the pirates to take care of him, Nami and Zoro demanding to know when that had been decided but not minding at all. Actually, they now knew that if they'd listened in on what Naruto and Luffy were talking about while exploring the ship it would've been this.
By now Usopp had a wondering look in his eyes and a little bit of tears too.
"I'll be the Captain, right?" he laughed and grinned a little incredulously.
"BAKA USOPP!" three kids kicked the man's knees making him fall with an abrupt yelp.
Luffy just laughed at his groaning form as his little pretend crew berated him, "No way! I'm the Captain!"
Naruto looked around at villagers whispering about and gathering quick gifts and trinkets into a sneakily circulating traveller's backpack. He smirked. It was a good thing he thought to take the prank this far. Usopp's house had had a lot of stuff, and he'd have had to carry the spontaneous gift on top of that.
His crew mates had gathered together and interacted naturally, all pitching in on conversation and teasing and laughing. Telling Luffy off for eating so much of the village's food. Usopp looked to be right at home.
Heh. Even if he didn't have his old precious people right then, Naruto was steadily gathering new ones.
Life was looking good!
xXXx
I've got this on Ao3 too and there's a tag that says 'Slow to Update'. It's proved to be accurate. I don't have a schedule and everything, or almost everything, I write is just for fun. The main reason I publish is because if I like it, someone else might like it too. Thanks for checking out this silly fic of mine!