Ch. 15 The confession
"I give up. The machined parts just feel wrong. I used to work with more manual tools. Pedal powered belts and such. I think the only powered tools I had access to were the drill and the lathe. I might have to get my own manual tools in here if I want to make more complicated weapons."
It was Saturday afternoon and Ruby had once again volunteered herself to help Jaune in the Beacons smithy. They were experimenting with making more delicate parts to test the limits of Jaune's semblance, but by this point Jaune had slumped over the workbench in defeat.
"Just a thought Jaune, but what happens when you make a weapon that is also a tool?"
"What do you mean?"
Jaune lifted his head from the workbench in intrigue.
"I mean if you make a scythe, does it teach you to reap wheat? Would a kitchen knife teach you to cook at all? If you made a smithing hammer would it teach you to work metal with it?"
"I don't know? Do you think it's worth a try?"
"You're a blacksmith, Jaune. Having a hammer in your Arsenal makes sense to me, even if it doesn't teach you anything."
"Ok, worth a try then… a hammer… I mean I could just make it to be simple but…"
"Oh I know, how about a variable mass gravity dust alloy?"
"A what?"
"Variable mass alloy, it's about 2% gravity dust. I came up with it based on Cobalt Fèvre's research. I made most of Crescent Rose out of it, so that I can change its weight mid swing. It's aura controlled so it takes a bit of getting used to but it also allows me to make it light, swing it really fast with my semblance and make it really heavy when it hits the grim. The speed stays the same and the momentum increases. The difference in energy is made up by the aura spent."
Jaune sat with a straight back hanging on Ruby's every word. He couldn't help but smile as Ruby sped through her explanation.
"Ruby! Ruby, slow down! Take a deep breath. I think I get it, but how did you even manage to do that? I thought the gravity dust just compressed the material."
"That's because the dust isn't stable when alloying and partially activates. When you add a stabilising agent into the alloy it works amazing."
"Ruby, did you figure this out on your own?"
"Yup!"
Jaune was a bit baffled by the revelation. After all this was something amazing, actually useful dust alloys didn't grow on trees and he knew just how much time and effort he spent on his own high dust alloy.
"And you didn't tell anyone?"
"Nobody wanted to listen. And those that would, didn't really understand. Dad's great and all but he isn't really a weapons guy."
"Ruby, you're amazing! This is groundbreaking. I think you should patent it and publish the findings."
"But you made your own alloy too! Plus I didn't come up with it, master Fèvre did. "
"Ruby, mine is next to useless to everyone but me. Plus Cobalt Fèvre considered his creation a failure. And your application is so different from his. Honestly…"
"But what if it was a fluke? What if master Fèvre gets angry with me? What if…"
"Ruby, that's your anxiety speaking. It wasn't a fluke, and I know for a fact that Cobalt Fèvre himself would be nothing but proud of you if he knew what you managed to do. Hell I'll even take you to visit him and show your work off, if it helps convince you to publish it."
"Really?"
"Really. Ruby I feel you don't hear this enough but you are amazing. You are smart, you are a prodigy huntress, you are pretty and cute and…."
The words left Jaunes mouth one after the other and before he could stop himself his true feelings were out in the open. He could feel his face heat up and turn redder than Ruby's cloak. If someone saw them at that moment they might note that the only thing redder than Jaune's face was Ruby's. Fortunately nobody else was there to witness the deafening silence between these two teenagers.
A full minute passed before Ruby managed to break the silence
"Do you… do you really think so?"
"I do, if I'm to be honest I think I've had a crush on you since just after initiation."
Though if he was to be honest with himself, the feeling has evolved over time to become so much more.
"Wh…why?"
"I don't know…"
Jaune stopped himself. It wasn't fair to Ruby to withhold his feelings.
"…actually that's a lie. Pretty much from the moment we met I thought we had so much in common. You are attractive Ruby, like really attractive, your body, your face, your eyes and your hair, I like all of them. Plus, you're so earnest in everything you do. You are smart, a great huntress and a great leader."
As he spoke the words came to him easier.
"You are everything I could want in a partner. In terms of Beacon, as a huntsman, as a weaponsmith and romantically. I…"
There it was, the last step. The proverbial leap into the unknown.
"I'm in love with you Ruby."
For a moment everything went still and the next thing Jaune knew, Ruby was gone, replaced by slowly falling rose petals.
He thought about what happened just now. Was telling her the right decision? He wasn't sure. On the other hand, had he not said anything, would that be any better? No, probably not.
Ruby had a chronically low self esteem. He hoped that showering her with compliments was the right thing to do. Even if it wasn't the best time for a love confession in the romantic sense, from a mental health perspective it was probably better to have those feelings out there. For both of them he hoped.
"I wonder if I should give her some space. Or would that be detrimental right now?"
He didn't know, he was just a blacksmith dammit. He sat there, behind the workbench for several minutes before taking out his scroll.
'Ruby, I understand if you need space right now. I'll sleep in the storage room by the forge tonight. Feel free to come and find me if you want to talk. Otherwise, see you tomorrow.'
Jaune wrote those two sentences on his scroll and was just about to send it when something within him told him to add something.
'I love you.'
It took Jaune longer than he'd ever admit to press send. Doubt swirled in his mind.
"Is this too much, am I being too pushy? Wasn't the whole point of the message to give her space?"
Eventually he was muttering these thoughts out loud.
"Well maybe it will help to have my feelings black on white, and the damage is done already anyway so to speak."
Eventually he managed to stop his doubts and start focusing on what he would do that evening. The majority of his equipment was still in his room and he didn't want to go back there just yet.
Eventually he settled on writing another text message. This time to Ren.
'Ren, could you please bring me my backpack, it's by my bed. I'm at the forge. Be discreet please, I'll explain once you get here.'
The bag had all of Jaune's camping gear. The same stuff he slept in before Beacon started.
A few agonising minutes later Ren had arrived, Janune's bag over one shoulder.
Jaune took the backpack and motioned for Ren to follow him into the storage room.
Jaune slowly unpacked his sleeping mat and unscrewed the cap to let it inflate. He worked in silence much like his silent friend who patiently waited for an explanation.
"I had a talk with Ruby. I… I said something and she ran off. I think she needs time to process it without me being there… I… yeah."
"What was it that you told her?"
"That I'm… that I'm in love with her."
"Ah… I see. Do you… think she feels the same?"
"I don't know. I'd like to think so, but the likely answer is no. I'd like to think that one day she will. But she deserves to know how I feel about her. You know how little self esteem she has, I just hope it helps to know that I think the world of her. I just hope I didn't ruin everything."
Ren simply nodded in silence.
"We have no classes tomorrow so I figured I would give her all the space that I can before I return to the team."
"What if she doesn't want to be alone?"
"Well… I hoped you guys would be there for her."
"Don't get me wrong Jaune, we'll try our best to be. I meant that Nora and I are possibly not the best people to speak on the topic of romance with. What with our "will they won't they" relationship."
"Right… I didn't think you were quite that self aware…"
"We have been around each other for long enough to know the other's feelings on the topic. I am also aware that Nora is afraid to let go of our childhood in fear of our relationship changing. And to a degree so am I. I have long since made the decision to move on in our relationship only when Nora is ready to do so."
"And until then you'll stay as you've always been… you know, you say you're not the best people to speak to about love, but I think you're wrong. I know you will both be there for Ruby to talk to if she wants."
"And if she wants to talk to you instead?"
"Then I'll be right here, waiting for her."
"Good…"
Jaune stood there as Ren left the room. Frankly he was nowhere near as calm as he appeared to be when talking to Ren. He was a bundle of nerves, and every minute he did nothing felt ten times as long.
He needed to do something. To take his mind off of things he could do nothing about. So he went back to where he left his things when he was talking with Ruby. He took out his sketchbook and started drawing the only thing he knew how to draw - weapons.
=O=O=O=
Ruby was sitting on her bed, huddled in a blanket. Her scroll buzzed at some point, she paid it no mind. She was vaguely aware that Ren had entered the room, took Jaunes bag and then left, but that wasn't what was on the forefront of her mind.
She was going over their conversation in her head over and over. But no matter what she did the memory always ended with her running away. A part of her hated herself for doing that. For probably the first time ever someone was interested in her. Not her sister, not the teacher's daughter, but her, Ruby Rose the person. And what did she do? Run away from the attention, just like she always did. She wished so hard she had just stayed, faced the words, then and there.
But what would she say? Could she just accept that? She didn't think about Jaune like that… right?
She wanted to talk to her sister about this… but she was also scared to do so. What would Yang do if she knew… Something impulsive no doubt. Somehow Ruby couldn't imagine that ending well.
"Ruby?"
It was Nora. Ruby didn't even notice her entering the room. Ruby sniffled. She hadn't even realised she had tears streaming down her face.
"Hey Nora… I…"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Ruby tried to hide her face, hide her emotions and put up a strong facade of a team leader.
"... I'm fine really. I just…"
"Ruby, I know what happened."
"How did…"
"Jaune told Ren to get him his camping gear and Ren made him spill the beans."
"Camping gear?"
"He's trying to give you space for now. Didn't he tell you?"
"I… I kinda ran away…"
"What about your scroll?"
Ruby took her scroll out of her pocket and opened it.
One unread message from Jaune.
Ruby held her thumb over the message for a second but didn't open it.
"I… don't know if I can handle it."
"You should read it… I don't think it'll make things any worse."
Ruby sniffled again and opened the message
'Ruby, I understand if you need space right now. I'll sleep in the storage room by the forge tonight. Feel free to come and find me if you want to talk. Otherwise, see you tomorrow. I love you.'
Ruby read the message twice and then once more. The first two times her mind got stuck on the first sentence. She ran away so she needed space… He said he understood, but did he really mean that? Or was he just saying that.
Only on the third reading did she fully grasp the whole message.
"Do you think he means that?"
"Mean what?"
"All of it? That he understands? That I can just come back and continue talking to him? That he…" her voice got stuck in her throat.
"Ruby, ask yourself this. Does he have any reason to lie to you?"
"I don't know! Maybe he's just… I don't know alright!"
"I think he means it. I think he means everything he told you today."
Ruby thought about it for a while.
"But what should I do?"
"Well, that depends. What do you want to do?"
Ruby sniffled again.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, do you want to start dating him? Do you want things to just stay as they are now? Do you want to do something else entirely about it?"
"I don't know Nora. That's the point. I'm not as brave as you. You just show your affection so easily, like you don't care what the world thinks."
"Wait, you think I'm brave? Ruby, what I have with Ren is… it took a long time for me to be comfortable with how things are now. We've been together for so long and we both know we have feelings for each other. But I'm afraid of our friendship changing. I'm actually really afraid of moving forward with our relationship."
"But… but you're so confident. So comfortable around him."
"And that took a long time of pushing the boundaries. Little by little. It works for us, because we know where we stand with each other, but it took a long time to get here."
"So what should I do?"
"Again, that depends, Ruby. If you want to have something like Ren and I do? Go for it, talk it out with Jaune, tell him you're not ready yet and ask if he's willing to work on this with you. If you want to just get the awkward stuff over with? Again, talk to him. If you don't want this kind of relationship with him? Talk to him. No matter what you decide, you'll need to talk to him."
"But I don't know what I want to do!"
"Then think about it, talk to me about it if you want. Or to Ren or anyone else you want. Jaune is giving you space to do exactly that. Even if you can't decide today, just get yourself together enough so that you two can work together in classes."
"I… No, I think I need to decide and deal with this today. We need to be able to work with each other tomorrow."
"There's our fearless leader! So what do you think about him?"
"I… what?"
"What do you think about Jaune? Do you find him attractive? Could you imagine dating him? You know, the kind of questions you need to answer to crack this case."
=O=O=O=
Some time had passed, but to Jaune it had already felt like an eternity. He had spent his time drawing, but his work felt uninspired. He eventually put away the very detailed drawing of a very basic sword. It was getting late.
Thinking he would try and get some shuteye instead. Alas that too wasn't to be. He couldn't sleep. He sat on the sleeping mat back to the wall, knees pulled up to his chest.
With nothing else to focus on his mind wandered back to Ruby. Did he make the right decision? Or did he ruin everything… By the gods what was he thinking! Confessing to his team leader? Putting her on the spot like that?
Jaune was struck by fear and guilt. He couldn't stomach the thought of Ruby hating him over this, yet he felt that she'd be justified and that it was all his fault.
"Jaune?"
For a moment Jaune thought he'd been imagining her voice. But when he looked towards the door there she stood. Still wearing her red and black skirt and red lace across her waist. He couldn't see her face, the red cloak she always wore hooded over her head.
"Ruby?"
Jaune's voice was hoarse, barely a whisper.
"Can we… talk?"
"Please…"
"Jaune, I… I don't think I love you. Not right now."
Jaune's heart sank. The brief pause after that statement was the lowest he ever felt. Being beaten down to an inch of his life and waking up in a hospital didn't even compare.
"But… I do like you."
Jaune's heart skipped a beat as Ruby continued.
"You are my partner and probably my first real friend and in the short time we've known each other you've become… one of the most important people in my life."
At this point Jaune stood up and approached Ruby.
"So does that mean…"
Jaune fell silent once more. He didn't know what he meant to say. But when he saw her face, eyes reddened from tears… He didn't dare hope.
"I don't know, Jaune. But I think… I think I want more. That I want to try and get closer to you. That I want to try and fall in love with you."
Her silver eyes glimmered with determination and Jaune realised that this was exactly the kind of expression that made him fall for her.
He laid a hand on her cheek and spoke in
a whisper.
"Ruby Rose, I want you to know that this earnestness is exactly why I'm in love with you."
And they shared their first chaste kiss.
=O=O=O=
Author's note:
This one... Yeah this is unapologetically the reason this fic exists. I wrote this one before finalizing chapters 1 and 2. It has gone through a few revisions since but the... let's say emotional core remained largely unchanged. If any of you had any doubts about what the romantic pairing here was, well here's your answer.
On a more personal note, I've passed my exams so hurray for me. Unfortunately this also means I'll have a harder time coercing my beta reader to read these on time, since I won't have physical access to him.
Anyway I hope you enjoyed the story so far and look forward to more in the next chapter: Ch. 16 Elated morning