Lucien blows out a sigh as Vassa leaves to fulfill her duty as a firebird, knowing it pains her to have to leave, to have to be cursed this way. Jurian had become very attached to the pretty queen, but he was doing his best to avoid the attraction. As for Tamlin, well, he had been holed up in his room every time he was here.

The rebuilding of the Spring Court was going slowly, but with Lucien and Tamlin working together to get more workers and supplies rolled in, it had begun to speed up if only a bit. Lucien had kept to his promise and was helping his friend rebuild the Spring Court Manor. A home that he could one day truly feel comfortable living in, without all the past trauma and bad memories haunting him.

Lucien winnows them to the Spring Court and they pass through the village on their way to where the Manor would be rebuilt. A longer route which allows the Faes to see their High Lord trying to make things right and wanting the best for them. Despite knowing the less convoluted story of how the destruction came to be, it was still taking a while for them to warm up to him again. Something Tamlin fully understood and was willing to deal with.

Many of the single, unmated Fae women from the lower village stop to swoon over the two men, though Lucien can't help the smirk that appears on his face when they direct their attention towards him. Plus, he could have sworn the makings of a smile almost adorned Tamlin's.

"You've been very quiet lately."

"I don't have much to speak of."

"This is a good thing, you know. A new start. Aside from the human queens and Koschei, we are under no threat, and I'm sure they'll be handled soon enough. You're finally out from under...the heaviness of it all."

"I'm sorry", Tamlin mutters. "I know it's been a long while and I have owed you that for quite some time now. Some days I simply find it harder to speak than others. I'm trying to figure things out. I'm trying not to let myself go that far down again. It—it's not easy. But you've always deserved an apology. I'll probably act like a brute in the future at some point too, as it seems I was bred that way."

Lucien nods slowly as they walk down the path. "I know...all of that. It's good to hear you vocalize it though. Self-awareness is good. I told you, you've seen me go through this before. I'm not going to lie and say coming back from it will be quick or easy. It never is. Being willing to try makes all the difference. And that doesn't mean you won't get angry or frustrated or upset, everyone does. But you—you react explosively, Tam. You always have."

"I don't know how not to. It takes over me like a rapid poison. It's my father. Every part of him I never wanted. Every part of him I cowered from, and every part I thought I could escape from. Yet it still found its way into my veins, my very being. Turned me into the beast I vowed I'd never be. I never wanted to be, and I have very little control when it comes out to play. Like I have a one-inch leash dipped in oil. Nearly impossible to hold on to that ounce of control. Beron was—is...horrific. He was horrific for what he did to you and what he continues to do to everyone."

Tamlin's head raises to look at Lucien, his mechanical eye glimmering in the sun. "But you don't have an ounce of that evil male within you. Not one single evil fiber, Lucien. You were free from him the moment I took you in, and then you were terrorized by a new version of my father—me. I have his evil tainting my very blood. I can feel it, and no matter how hard I fight it, how hard I try to do the right thing all the time, it never turns out right."

Lucien can't help but empathize. "You may have his blood, but you're not him, Tam. Yeah, okay, you've done some horrible things. But they weren't with evil intent, as you said. Which doesn't make them good but...it doesn't make them evil either. There has to be a way to tame your shapeshifter abilities. It's one of the hardest powers to control, everyone knows that. It comes with the anger and the beast-like attitude, and the gruffness of your voice. But those things don't make you inherently evil. You do try to make up for those bad moments."

"They shouldn't happen in the first place."

"No...but...there must be some sort of training you can do to learn to control it better. In Ve—in other Courts, they have specialists."

Tamlin's jaw ticks and Lucien glances at his knuckles, luckily no sign of claws at the near mention of Velaris. "I can't be near a specialist. Lucien, look what I had done to you when you tried to help me whatever number of times. If I can attack you, my beast would tear apart a specialist. We both know that. Therefore that leaves me with no choice but to go back to being a hermit unless there's something threatening the Courts that forces me into a meeting with those assholes."

"That is no type of existence to lead, Tamlin."

"Again, what choice do I have? I've already proven I can't love. I can't be protective without being possessive. I can't do anything good without the rest of Prythian always thinking the worst of me. For fuck sake, I—I was the one person willing to spy on Hybern. To infiltrate their ranks with a false sense of loyalty, and the rest of Prythian was convinced I was actually an ally to him. Me. A fucking ally to the King of Hybern. After knowing what I had endured at the hands of my father and Amarantha and the fact that he was friendly with them. How could she—they think...I wasn't good enough for her but I would never—", his breaths become ragged and he clenches his jaw.

Lucien squeezes Tamlin's shoulder, still holding resentment for the way Feyre could have believed the bullshit of Tamlin being an ally. After Tamlin had divulged all his emotional secrets to her when they had been in love. The way she turned her back on all those she had initially wanted to be kind to within the Spring Court, who had nothing to do with their issues, and then turned Tamlin into the equivalent of Hybern. He can see why she had a right to be upset, but she did not have a right to ruin innocent lives in her quest for petty revenge. She got it by leaving for good.

"Everything that happened was shit. Everything. I know it seems like everything is against you, but you will prove yourself again. One day, you will. And they'll have no choice but to respect you for it. There isn't one High Lord who doesn't have something bad in their pasts. Not one, and they would be complete hypocrites to unfairly cast you out."

"Do you forget that Rhysand can mindfuck whoever he wants? I wouldn't be surprised if he had a hold over all the other High Lords for his own gain. How else did his family hide a gigantic city for thousands of years? And why is there nobody questioning how he thought he had the right to hide land?"

"Rhysand may not be the most admirable male, I know that, you know that. But I don't think even he would have the energy to have a hold over their minds all the time, not to mention that it's technically against Prythian law to take their autonomy away to sway decisions. He may be a prick, but he's very politically astute."

Tamlin rolls his eyes and a short growl rumbles from his lips.

"I have some work to do there this weekend, so I won't be at the Manor."

"Work?"

"Yes."

"Confidential emissary work?"

There's a bit of a pause. "Yes."

"Liar."

"What?"

"You just want to go see your mate since Feyre has her convinced she's comfy in the castle enjoying being a lowly gardener."

Lucien growls this time. "That's my mate you're talking about. Watch it."

"She's an Archeron."

"I'm aware."

"They're too good for anything but the Night Court. She hasn't even begun to accept you, and you still try."

"She's my mate."

"You're setting yourself up for heartbreak and failure, Lucien. Elain won't even speak more than what, three words to you? As I said, she's an Archeron. They're too good for anything outside the Night Court. Including a fated mate. I bet those oversized bats are making her plenty welcome..."

Lucien punches him clear and hard across the face, knocking him to the ground, before taking a deep breath and shaking out his hand. Tamlin snorts and gets up slowly, wiping the blood from his nose.

"You can be furious all you want at me, or at that situation. But it's been what? Over a year and she still refuses to speak to you. You're pissed because you think I'm right."

Lucien's lip twitches in anger, his veins glowing faintly with the fire he keeps at bay. "I won't let that oversized bat steal my mate from me, but it will be her choice if she wants to reject me. But she hasn't."

"That would consist of speaking to you." Tamlin dodges another punch casually and grips Lucien's shoulder. "Just be aware. That's all. They have a penchant for the bats...let's just hope something sways in your favor."

Lucien sighs deeply, releasing the tension in his nerves, but is still peeved. "I can't give up. I'll keep visiting until she speaks to me. Whether it be a rejection or an actual conversation, I'm going to keep visiting and keep trying. Mates are sacred. And I never believed I'd get one."

"I truly hope it works out for you, Lucien. But excuse me if I'm wary of all of them."