Entering the House of Wind, Azriel's face immediately scrunches and his shadows open up all of the windows.

"Cauldron boil me, it reeks in here!", he groans.

Nesta saunters out into the foyer in a navy blue silken robe, grinning from ear to ear. Cass follows closely behind wearing only the siphons on his hands and pants.

"Hello, brother", Cass laughs, flying over to him and nearly tackling him in a hug.

"Ugh, you're sweaty, get off."

Cassian laughs and extends a hand to Nesta and brings it to his lips, kissing it. "It's not sweat, it's water. We just enjoyed a long, hot shower and—"

"You are like rabbits, I swear. I do not need the details."

Nesta smirks and shrugs. "Aww Az, the details may turn you on."

Azriel shudders, trying to get the mental image out of his head, though if he's honest, she isn't wrong. "Not interested, thank you. Not to mention I was training not too long ago, and my session was crudely interrupted by certain someones", he cringes to express his disgust. "The dining table? Really? You better bleach the fucking shit out of that thing, or I am never staying here again."

Nesta rolls her eyes and goes into the kitchen, asking the house for some tea. It obliges. "You forget that my house is one of my friends, Azriel. It knows when to self-clean. Like a certain bod—"

"Nope. I'm leaving. Goodbye and good night.."

Cassian howls with laughter and pulls Nesta close, his nose buried into the crook of her neck as she amusedly sips her tea. Azriel takes to the sky once again, running a scarred hand through his hair as a depressing thought crosses his mind. Everywhere he goes, he is surrounded with love, but none is reserved solely for him. There is no designated home for him to escape from the doting couples. As he had told Elain before, he isn't quite sure where he fits in; he never was.

Going back to the River House, he sneaks in and makes his way to his bedroom. Closing and securing the door, he strips down to his underwear and lies on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Mor was off in Vallahan for another leg of her soul-searching vacation and Amren was in the Summer Court; a weekend stay with Varian. Lucien's scent lingered in the halls, but it was faded enough to know that he had left already, and Azriel certainly wasn't ready to go down a rabbit hole with Elain. He had been avoiding her for months anyway; ever since Rhys had given him the High Lord order to stay away from her. Something he could be severely punished for if he broke. Something he believes Rhys nor Feyre would have any issue dishing out a punishment for either.

Taking in the silence as his shadows twirl around him contentedly, he allows his eyes to close and his mind to drift. Maybe Gwyn was right. Maybe being so secretive and too guarded all the time was hindering his relationships. Make no mistake, he was a master at his job and could be cold-hearted and downright vicious when the need arose, but did he have to let that simmer and linger the way he does? Probably not, but life had always been easier that way. He's a smooth-talker in his own right but he could ever be as open and aloof as Cassian, or as suave and dignified as Rhys.

He was just...Azriel, the Shadowsinger. Azriel, the brother. Azriel, the Lord of Darkness. Azriel, the unwanted Illyrian bastard unfit for love. As much as Cassian hates where he came from, and hates being labeled a bastard in his own right, he was always liked by the people of Velaris. A friendly chat or a polite gesture was not far from the constant day to day comings and goings for his brother. For Azriel, he had to learn how to survive in the dark, to thrive there, to survive there. His shadows became one with him and continue to be. As helpful as they can be, they have a habit of putting people off, so friendly chats were rare and polite gestures included people of Velaris trying very hard to look at his face, rather than his scars or his shadows. While the three brothers had always been a unit, Azriel was still the odd one out.

Keeping his eyes closed he allows a few tears to slip down the sides of his face, dissipating into the fabric of his pillow. As it was, he had truly thought he was in love with Elain. But it's becoming clearer to him that maybe he was just desperate for someone to really look at him. To see him. Not his shadows, not his title. Him. Elain was the first one to do so, and maybe that's why he had clung so hard. Because it was just a scrap of everything he had secretly wanted and needed, but can never have. He started out unwanted and will end up unwanted. He won't get the happily ever after that came naturally for his brothers.

Turning into his pillow, he clings tightly to the second one, wishing it was someone he could let in, someone he could love, someone he could hold and kiss and make love to. Someone that was all for him, as he was all for them, however terrible it would be for them to be saddled with him. He just wants an unafraid female, a tender touch, a light to tame his shadows, and the constant whispers of loathing in his head.

His wings wrap around him and he breathes into the fabric, hunger gnawing at him, but the pain in his heart worse.

Rhys mind links him and asks if he's home, despite not wanting to deal with anyone he replies in the affirmative.

"Would you be able to watch Nyx for a bit? I want to take Feyre out for dinner. If you have plans, we can ask someone else."

"It's fine. I can handle it."

Closing his mental barrier he takes a deep breath, dresses, and fixes his hair before going to the nursery and scooping up a bouncing Nyx, who is giggling and holding his chubby hands out.

Azriel can't help but smile at his nephew before placing a kiss to his head and carrying him down to the kitchen.

"Let's get something to eat, how does that sound, little one?"

.

.

Tamlin sighs into the mirror on top of his small vanity at the Band of Exiles Manor. Grabbing the shears, he chops off a good few inches of his blonde locks, the ends of which had become tangled and unmanageable. In five centuries he had never let it grow past his shoulders and once the extra weight fell to the ground he couldn't help but let out a content sigh.

Brushing it out, he sits in front of the mirror, looking at the sharp points of his cheekbones. Still too gaunt. Still too skinny. But what is there really to live for, to try for? He told Lucien he's been eating, but it's been a couple of days.

Propping his head on his elbows, he can feel his breaths becoming ragged and his beast simmering under the surface. He stays that way for a while, trying to clear his mind, to contain his power. He lets himself drift, listening to the chirps of the birds outside the window to calm himself.

Moments later, he hears a soft, yet confident voice come from behind him. He goes rigid at the sound because he would know that voice anywhere in a thousand universes and through all of time and space.

Standing up quickly and whipping around, his eyes land on the petite, raven-haired, violet-eyed Illyrian female. He stumbles a bit and blinks, drinking in the sight of her before him again after all these centuries. His breaths come quick, and his eyes fill with tears as quickly as they ever had. She seems to have a faint violet and silver aura around her.

"Hello, Tamlin my love."

Tears flow freely from his eyes, his voice clogged within his throat. "N—Nova", he chokes out. "How—you—"

"Shh, my sweet", she murmurs, moving over to him and cupping his face in her hands, her eyes glittering with a thousand stars.

"I love you", he whispers brokenly. "I love you. I need you. I'm so sorry."

Her wings flutter behind her as she leans up on her tiptoes, pressing her soft lips to his, lingering there as they soak up the feel of being together once again.

"Are you here? Tell me you're here" he begs through a sob, lips trailing over her cheek as his tears drip to the floor.

She gazes into his green eyes longingly. "Only for the moment, darling."

"Come back to me, mate."

"Tam", she breathes. "I can't. But I can tell you that everything will be okay, that you need to keep going. There are good things in your future. If you can't believe in yourself, at least believe in me. Believe that I wouldn't tell you that unless it was true."

"No", he sobs. "No, you—you're the only good thing I've ever truly had. I let you get taken from me. I—I wasn't strong enough", he breaks down.

Nova strokes his cheeks with her thumbs, coaxing him to meet her eyes again. "You were not responsible, Tam. The only one responsible was Serlan. You can't go on thinking this, it's time to tell the truth."

"Rhys", he groans, sniffling. "There is no way...it's far too late."

"No, it's not. It's not too late. It's never too late for the truth to come out."

"I know too much. He won't want to hear it, Nova."

"Maybe not. But he'll have to hear it."

Tamlin shakes his head weakly. "He won't allow me anywhere near them."

Nova presses a kiss to each cheek, his nose, then his lips. "Start with the starlight pool. Nobody knows about it but Feyre and Lucien, hm?"

"I didn't tell Feyre the reason I had one."

"I know", she smiles beautifully, weaving her fingers through his golden hair and his lids droop with the nice sensation. "You've tidied your hair finally. It looks good, darling."

"I need you back, then you can tame my hair however you like."

"There is someone else for you now. She will be right for you, in the ways that I was."

"I don't want anyone else, I want you, Nova. I tried—I tried...love...I fell, not even for the curse, I truly loved her, that's why I wanted to save her... but she saved me...and then she broke off another shard of my will. We broke one another after—. And it's only gotten more complicated and confusing."

"Don't close your heart, Tam. It's your best quality. I know it's broken and bruised. I know that it doesn't act the stone that it was cursed to be. I promise you, your next love will be true. Don't be afraid of it. Don't shy away."

"All I want is you, my Princess of Night. Always you."

Nova hugs him closely and lies her head on his chest, comfort settling in the silence for the moment.

"Remember what I've said, Tamlin." She meets his peridot irises with her amethyst ones. "Remember."

"I remember everything when it comes to you, I always have, I always will. I love you. Those memories are as precious to me as the jewels within your eyes."

She flashes him a loving smile and meets his lips once more, this time deeper, with passion and yearning as if she never would again. Tamlin tugs her closer and returns it just as fervently, needing her close against him, tasting her on his lips, reveling in her warmth. With one last stroke of her tongue against his, she reluctantly puts space between them, leaving him stunned for a brief moment before he goes to reach for her once more, desperate to stay in this lovely wonderland that brought them together again.

Nova takes his hand and laces her fingers between his. "I love you. You can hold onto that, but you can also replace it. I'm not here anymore, my sweet. I want you to find your lifelong happiness. I want you to finally be able to let go of me. My death was never your fault, and I do not blame you." She uses her free hand to caress his cheek.

"Be glad of your aching heart, Tamlin. It means that despite the horrors you have lived and felt, you still have love to give, and that's a gift. I want happiness and love for you more than anything, and you need that. You deserve that. You've spent a lot of time thinking that you didn't deserve it. You continue to think these atrocities despite making amends for your mistakes. But you do deserve it. You just have to be brave enough. Brave enough to realize you're free, to realize you're able, to realize that heartache comes from a place of love. If you had never loved, the loss wouldn't hurt. That's okay. But when the right female comes along, you'll know. And she won't be lost; not like me, and not like Feyre. She will be your salvation and your reason to care about yourself again. So pick yourself up and use all that sweetness within you to open up to her. Just one more time, my love. This time fate won't let you down. I swear it." Her hand slips from his face and her other disentangles from his fingers.

He can't help but tear up again, her words like a solemn parting gift. "Nova", he breathes, desperately reaching for her but grasping nothing. "Nova! Please", he cries. "Please don't go", he pleads. "I love you, please don't leave me here", he chokes out.

She tears up softly. "I love you too. Remember what I said, Tam", she whispers and the violet and silver aura around her gets brighter, seeming to swallow her whole. Tamlin yells for her and tries to fight it away to no avail as his view of her is shielded. That's when it slowly begins to fade, taking her with it.

"No! Nova! Don't leave me here, please don't leave me here", he says through a strangled sob.

Suddenly he gasps sharply and feels his face pressed against the woodgrain of the vanity, his tears pooling beneath his cheek. Groaning, he pulls himself up and looks around, silence and sunlight the only things surrounding him. That's when he realizes he had fallen asleep, Maybe worse, as his stomach jabs at him, reminding him that he hadn't eaten in two days. Getting up from his seat he looks around the room desperately.

"Nova? Novalyn!", he shouts over and over, only silence answering in return. Falling to his knees, he buries his face into the palms of his hands and begins to sob uncontrollably as they rip from his chest.

A parting gift indeed. One last confrontation at the veil between unconsciousness and death, and she was truly gone forever.