Ginny felt her heart skip a beat as she saw her friend for the first time in six years. She had changed so much… It was obvious after so many years.
In the aftermath of the war, Ginny remembered seeing Hermione leave with a childlike face. She'd lost weight from hunting horcruxes, fighting and not to mention the general stress of being on the run during a war had taken on her. Her hair had become dry, weathered and too long for Hermione's liking. Her eyes had seemed to inhabit the traumatic ghosts from her past.
At the time… That was the difference.
Ginny had expected anything but to find her friend in such a post-war state, far less worse. Her stomach dropped as she realised how deluded Hermione had been. She felt her heart clench in her chest as she remembered all the letters she had ignored. Her throat went dry as she met Hermione's gaze.
It was… She didn't know how to describe it. She saw so much pain in her eyes that she had to stop herself from swooning. It was striking, disturbing, distressing.
Hermione was no longer the same person and Ginny didn't need to hear her voice or make conversation with her to know it.
The features of her face were hard, weathered and ringed by the exhausting days that had kept them apart for so many years. Hermione wasn't as thin as she had been after the war, clearly. She had put on weight, enough so that her cheeks stood out in the same way as when she was eleven and her hips gave shape to her figure. Her hair shone under the porch lights, braided, and looked more resplendent than ever. Her eyes…
They were the only thing that hadn't changed. They held the same horrors, the same tears and the same endless nights of nightmares.
Ginny saw her friend pursing her lips as Harry gave her a brief hug. Her gaze never left Ginny's. They stared at each other, as if the world around them didn't exist. Ginny felt nauseous under those hard, judgmental eyes.
Was it anger? She couldn't tell.
"Granger," Theo greeted her with a nod.
That was enough to snap Ginny out of her lethargy. She stared at the man who had welcomed her into his home the past two months and stared after him as he entered Hermione's house. She was alone now. For the first time since she had stayed with Harry and Nott, she was on her own.
oOo
5 November 2005,
"Ginny!" Harry exclaimed as he ran up and met her, as she had just landed.
She had just come back from the Burrow, where she had spent a few nights before going to France.
She hugged her friend and buried her face in his neck, holding back tears. She felt as if she had finally found someone who would support and understand her for the first time since her return to England.
Seeing her parents again had been no picnic, not to mention Ron and Lavender who had come to dinner twice in five days. Her mother had reproached her for being away so long and her father had merely nodded silently in agreement with his wife's pivotal words.
She hadn't recognised them, she had cried every night in the little bed of her adolescence.
"Harry," she sobbed, falling against him. "I've missed you so, so much. I should never have gone away for so long."
"You're here now. Everything will be alright, Gin', I promise."
"I'm sorry, so sorry," she repeated like a litany.
"I don't blame you. It'll be alright."
oOo
Harry turned to her before entering the living room. He gave her an encouraging smile that warmed her heart for a moment.
Ginny slid her eyes back to Hermione, who hadn't stopped staring at her.
"Hi," she murmured with uncertainty.
Hermione blinked several times and Ginny noticed that she was clenching her jaws. She was as stressed as she was. However, Ginny had no way of knowing if it was due to the same reasons.
"You'd better come inside. It's cold," Hermione merely said before turning away and following the boys inside.
Ginny swallowed, frozen in place.
So that was it? That would be it? Did she deserve nothing more?
Probably not, she thought bitterly before finally crossing the threshold of the house.
She slowly took off her jacket and hung it on the coat hooks, where the capes of the other four guests were already hanging. She would be the last to enter the living room and surely the only one not accompanied by the hostess.
She closed her eyes for a few seconds to try and regain her composure. She had to put on a good show. For Harry's sake, so as not to ruin his evening. Harry, who had promised to send Theo or Ginny home if they became even mildly uncomfortable. And who had spent several meals telling them that they didn't have to go. She had felt so weak under his protective gaze, so incapable and yet so loved.
It was considerably different to how Astoria made her feel. She remembered all of the times Astoria had encouraged her to do things despite her reluctance. All of the times Ginny was pushed to meet people and attend parties she didn't care about, when she would have preferred to spend the time in bed with her fiancée.
Her fiancée… Thinking about that title left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Ginny remembered the morning she spent crying in their India flat when she received a letter from Astoria—who had abandoned her without looking back—returning the ring she'd given her.
Their last meeting had been at the home of their Bombay friend, Gori, who had invited them both without telling them after learning that they were no longer together. Astoria hadn't stayed long, just long enough for Ginny to run after her to try and have a chat.
oOo
22nd October 2005,
"Ria! Ria, wait! Please!"
The brunette stopped, without turning to face Ginny, who was short of breath as she tried to catch up to her. Astoria was visibly closed off, not ready to have whatever conversation Ginny was about to start.
"Ria, I–"
She laughed ironically and shook her head.
"You fooled me, didn't you?" Astoria cut her off with a glare. "You thought that by pretending to be Gori you'd have a chance to talk to me! Have you sunk that low for me, Weasley?"
Ginny recoiled, her eyes immediately filling with tears. Her heart ached in her chest, so much so that she was tempted to check whether streams of blood were flowing out of it.
She couldn't believe Astoria's words were so harsh. She couldn't believe that this woman, whom she loved so much and thought was so perfect, could be so… so mean. She couldn't believe that everything had fallen apart so quickly, so easily.
"I swear I did no such thing," Ginny breathed quietly to stop herself from sobbing loudly.
"Are you so desperate that you'd go to such extremes? I pity you," Astoria spat.
She didn't recognise her. This couldn't be the woman she had wanted to marry.
"Get out of my life," the brunette added, glaring at her in disgust. "I don't want to see you again. You've disappointed me so much. I didn't think you'd be willing to betray me."
And with that, Astoria disaparrated.
oOo
Two months later, Ginny still hadn't gotten over it. She just… hadn't understood. And she still didn't. Everything had happened so fast that she hadn't had time to see it all happen.
"Gin'? You coming?"
Harry's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She was still standing in the entrance hall, facing the small group of people sitting on the old sofas in the living room. They were all in front of the fireplace, staring at her, waiting for an answer.
She swallowed.
"Yes, I'm coming," she mumbled as she finally made her way towards them.
Soon, too soon perhaps, the conversations resumed and Ginny found herself sitting in an armchair, alone, between Theo and Draco. Pansy and Harry were chatting happily, but they didn't seem to notice the redhead's discomfort.
She hardly dared to look up from the glass of pumpkin juice wedged in her hands. The thought of meeting the eyes of the others made her heart beat faster. So she contented herself with observing the living room for the very first time.
Pansy, Draco and Blaise were sitting on a large sofa, just opposite the fireplace, to Ginny's right. To her left, Theodore and Harry were pressed up against each other, opposite the single armchair where Hermione was sitting.
The hearth of the fireplace and its heart were made of old dark red bricks and the flames tickled them. The walls were covered with beige wallpaper printed with climbing roses that had aged minimally, the vibrant colours only a little faded. A few electric candles had been lit all over the room, including about ten at the foot of the Christmas tree. It was rather well decorated and that almost made Ginny smile.
She remembered all the times Hermione had criticised the one in the Burrow without being able to stop herself.
And just as she was about to point it out to her friend, happy to find a subject to talk about, Blaise interrupted her, as if he had read her mind.
"You were definitely right to put up a tree here, Pans'," he said, nodding towards it. "The living room clearly lacked atmosphere."
Ginny's throat tightened as she saw Hermione blush.
"I didn't really feel like it," she heard her whisper as Pansy retorted something to her husband.
Ginny remained silent, unable to think of anything to say. Her willpower was gone.
"I used to like the living room back then too," Theo interjected before sipping his glass of wine.
He had selected it from the cellar of the manor. Ginny remembered that he had also chosen a good bottle for the evening of her arrival at his house.
oOo
5 October 2005, twenty-one o'clock,
"I'll be right back," Harry said.
He wiped his mouth and left the table, heading for the exit. Ginny watched him, her heart pounding. She was alone with Theodore for the first time since her arrival. And she didn't like the idea.
She had sensed immediately that her best friend's husband hadn't taken the same forgiving and welcoming attitude towards her. He seemed angry, without showing it openly.
When she turned her eyes towards him, she knew from the hard look in his eyes that he was thinking the same thing. They were alone.
Silence fell. Heavy. Pesky. Awkward. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. It wasn't good stress. It was nothing like the stress she felt before every match, before every important moment in her life. It was harmful, destructive stress.
She ate with her head down, no longer daring to look at him. She could feel him watching her, as if the weight of his eyes were crushing her skull.
"This bottle is three years old," he said suddenly in a conversational tone.
She looked up at him, intrigued.
"Can you believe it? This wine was bottled the year you decided to abandon all your friends."
A weight fell on her stomach and she felt the blood leave her face. Theo's gaze was so hard it was almost palpable.
"What did you think? That everyone would welcome you back with open arms?"
Her eyes filled with tears and she couldn't control it.
"I–"
"Don't make excuses, Weasley. You don't have any and you don't deserve to be forgiven. For Merlin's sake, you abandoned them all as if they were worthless to you!" he exclaimed, banging his fist on the table.
She gasped and a sob escaped her lips.
"Why did you let me come, then?" she replied, her eyes full of sadness and anger at the same time.
She couldn't bear anyone being angry with her like that. It brought back too many bad memories. Her memory was full of arguments with Astoria, of times when Astoria had shouted at her, repeated horrors and reproached her for stupid things.
"For him," Theo replied coldly. "Only for him. Because I know he cares about you, even if I don't understand why."
"He's my best friend."
He laughed ironically and shook his head. He raised his glass of wine to his lips and glared at her resentfully.
"If he was, you wouldn't have abandoned him to his fate all these years."
"I–"
Ginny was silent and lowered her head, a solitary tear running down her cheek.
"I didn't realise any of this," she whispered. "I was in my bubble, with Ri… with Astoria. I thought it was a way of getting better, of mourning. I thought I was entitled to it."
"And the others had to deal with the rest? You had your good life and they had to struggle?"
"I never thought of it that way!" she exclaimed, tears in her eyes. "You're being unfair because you're angry! I managed as best I could, but I was suffocating in England! I couldn't take it any more! You should know that I always fight for others. I was the first to support your relationship!"
She saw him clench his jaws before he looked away from her to his plate.
"If I'd known… If I'd known all this, if I'd known the consequences of our trip, I'd never have left."
She furiously wiped away a traitorous tear and stood up, scraping her chair on the wooden floor.
"I'm off to bed. I'm in no state to argue with you. Tell Harry that–"
"Tell me what?" the latter interjected, suddenly entering the room. "What's going on?"
He had just noticed Ginny's condition, which made her heart clench. He had lost the happy smile he had worn since the beginning of the meal.
"It's alright," she lied with a smile. "I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted."
"Are you sure?" Harry worried as he approached her. "Satine's made a pear tart for dessert. I'm sure you'll love it."
"That's very sweet, Harry, but… I assure you I need to go to sleep. I'd love to eat some tomorrow if there's any left."
She saw her friend's face fall, before he finally nodded. He kissed her cheek, wished her a good night and then let her go.
Ginny went to bed with a heavy heart that night.
oOo
Things had worked out in the end, but Ginny had done nothing about it. She suspected Harry had lectured his husband. He hadn't accused her of any more things.
They were far from close, but Theodore was respectful. He didn't direct any more cruel remarks toward her. They spent most of their days in different parts of the house. He stayed cloistered in his studio while she stayed in her room or went for a walk in the gardens. It was simple. It was relaxing.
She kept herself busy with books and cover letters for odd jobs in the nearest village. She knew she wouldn't last long doing nothing and, until she got a proper job, she needed something to keep her going.
She finally found a job as a sales assistant in the local bakery. She would start after the New Year. It would be her first time in a Muggle establishment and she had to admit being rather anxious about the idea.
"We should eat," Malfoy suggested suddenly.
She looked up at him and raised her eyebrows. It was the first time she'd heard him speak in… She didn't even know how long. Maybe even before the war, really.
She had dropped out of the conversation after Theo had opened his mouth, but now Ginny was fully concentrated.
The others nodded at Draco's proposal and all rose as one. Draco went into the kitchen as the guests settled around the table, which seemed to have been set by Hermione. This time, Ginny was sure of it. After all, she was the only one to fold napkins in the shape of flowers. She remembered seeing her do it for Christmas dinner the year her father had been attacked.
Draco soon placed the first dishes on the table and the conversations—mainly between Pansy, Blaise and Harry—resumed.
"My bill won't be passed until January. The Minister wants to wait a little longer."
"I thought you were free to do it whenever you wanted, now that you're a full Member?"
"That's what I thought too, Potter, except he's become a bit of a control freak. And believe me, I don't want to get on his bad side. Would you like some peas, Granger?" he then asked.
"She doesn't like them," Draco interjected.
Ginny couldn't help raising her eyebrows again at that. She couldn't believe it.
All eyes turned to the blonde, who merely blushed slightly and looked down at his own plate.
"You should have known," Draco merely mumbled.
Two sentences? She couldn't believe she'd heard so much coming out of his mouth. Harry had spoken to her at length about his difficulties in recovering from prison. She hadn't dared to expect as much.
"But… you didn't say anything when I brought some the other time," Harry said to Hermione with a frown.
"I–"
Hermione cleared her throat, blushing back as all eyes turned to her.
"I told you," she muttered. "But it doesn't matter, I can eat it."
She hastily retrieved the plate from Blaise's hands and helped herself to a huge spoonful of green vegetables.
Out of the corner of her eye, Ginny noticed that Malfoy had clenched his jaw and was frowning. She struggled to interpret this interaction. She felt lost.
What had been going on in this house all this time?