Gwyn shifts nervously from foot to foot as she waits for Azriel to arrive to pick her up for dinner. She has so much to tell him and none of it is lighthearted conversation. A nervous knot forms in her stomach and she nearly feels nauseous, wondering if he will in fact reject her once he knows the entire truth of the matter. Yes, he was not a legitimate child, but that is not comparable to Gwyn's biology. She is quite a few things and neither are very great except for her High Fae genes.

She had worn a pale teal sundress which makes her eyes stand out and her coppery red hair glimmer in contrast. Her nerves are jittery, and she wants to run away, deep into the comfort of the library. But she doesn't. She's not that kind of female anymore. She is a warrior. A Carynthian. A Valkyrie. Nothing can take her down. Not again. She can get through this. She will endure. He's her mate, he'll understand...hopefully.

Just as her thoughts threaten to overtake her into panic, a large whoosh of wind blows her hair back and flutters her dress. Azriel's lean but broadly muscled form looms over her, wings widened in all their gigantic glory. She wonders for the millionth time since she met him how his back doesn't always hurt, as they must be fairly heavy.

"Azriel", she breathes out, staring up at him in awe.

"Gwyneth", he murmurs, bowing his head politely and holding out a hand. "Shall we?"

She nods, her voice stolen from her at how gorgeous he looks, his body haloed by the moonlight.

He smiles shyly and moves closer. "Um...I will have to hold you, to fly down...to the restaurant."

Gwyn's cheeks turn red as apples and she swallows hard, nodding her permission as she takes his hand, stroking her thumb over a couple of the scars. He flinches and pulls it back out of habit.

"I-I'm sorry, d-did I hurt you?", she gasps lightly.

Azriel meets her eyes and shakes his head. "No. You didn't hurt me. I am sorry, I'm...it's a bad habit. It's not your fault, I promise."

"Okay. I understand having certain qualms about yourself that aren't your favorite. I feel that way too...about many things about myself. All we can do is try to like ourselves more by working on those bad feelings and turning them into positive ones. It is very difficult, but I know it can happen because I went through one of the hardest things when I left the library that first time", she whispers softly. "I became a Valkyrie because I realized that I had to prove to myself that I was worthy of being something more than just another female in hiding. I'm young and I have my entire life, and I—I don't want to be that my entire existence."

Azriel nods and gazes into her eyes, looking up at the moonlight then back into her big, teal eyes, sparkling with the light of a thousand stars. He holds both his hands out and gently takes hers, sucking in a breath. "My hands...remind me of when I was in an anguished state. They remind me of pain, helplessness, and being alone. The scars were a way to make me as ugly on the outside as they believed me to be on the inside."

Gwyn's eyes tear up and she shakes her head. "Well, they did not succeed. You are the most handsome male I've ever come across, and your hands do not take away from that. I noticed you pull them away earlier too, but I didn't want to pry." She walks further onto the balcony and pulls him along with her to look over Velaris.

Azriel shields her from the wind with his left wing and she smiles cutely. Gwyn strokes small circles on the top of his hand, glancing up at him and he gives her a weak, nervous smile in return.

"Your hands are strong, able, and handsome like the rest of you. They signal the strength you possess and the trials you have overcome with your willpower. They are as beautiful as your soul, Azriel. Quite like mine; damaged by others, but not irreparable. However, yours was always flawless from where I stand."

"Gwyn I—"

"I don't want to hear you tearing yourself down. I look at you and I see my savior. I see a fighter, a warrior. I see a male who would go to the ends of the universe to slay demons for his family. I see a gentle soul and a strong will. I see the male that I have been fated to. The male that I have admired and cared for and who has run through my thoughts for years. I see the male who deserves to be loved as much as he loves. I see someone who is flawed in similar ways that I am flawed, and who is still worthy."

A few tears fall down Azriel's face at her words, never having been told anything like that before. "Gwyn..."

"I know I need to talk about my truths and I know that it will take time and energy and effort for us to get to the point where we can be normal mates, if—if you decide that's what you want, but...I want more than anything for us to try. I want more than anything to be worth it for you too."

Azriel cups her face and brushes the pads of his thumbs over the sprinkles of freckles on her cheeks, gently placing her forehead on hers. "Gwyneth Berdara, I would be honored to try with you, if you will try with me."

She sniffles and nods, leaning into his touch and stroking his tears away from his cheeks. "Now that I've told you what I needed you to know and to hear, and it won't be the last time I affirm how great you are...let's go and grab some dinner hm?"

Her stomach grumbles a bit and Azriel can't help but let out a soft laugh, his shadows swirling around them happily, whispering noises of glee to him. "I agree. And I'm hungry too. I'm going to lift you up now, okay?"

"Okay", she whispers shyly, still gasping quietly when he scoops her into his arms, her own immediately snaking around his neck carefully.

He leaps off the balcony and she gasps more sharply, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment.

"Are you alright, Gwyn?"

"I—I'm okay, I just don't like the taking off, dipping thing...makes my stomach drop."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." He straightens out and widens his wingspan so they catch the wind more smoothly, gliding softly down towards the center of Velaris. "Is this better?"

Her eyes open and glance up at him, her breath hitching at just how utterly beautiful he looks as he flies. So serene and graceful, but also brutally gorgeous. Not to mention the warmth coming off of his solidly muscled chest that she was graced with during training a few times. "Much." She smiles when his shadows wind around her like a cushion and she believes she feels a brush of one of them against her cheek.

He lands firmly yet gracefully on his feet but continues to cradle her close to his chest for a moment before placing her down on her feet. "There we are", he says softly, not truly wanting to let go. "I meant to tell you when I arrived at the library, you look stunning."

Gwyn's face turns red again, but she smiles cutely. "Thank you. You look dapper yourself. A very different look from the Illyrian leathers or the training leathers or the armor. Still have your hand siphons though. They look good with your blue shirt."

Azriel grins, flattered. "The siphons are fairly permanent. It reigns in my power like a power bank, storing it for when I do need it. Without them, I may lose myself to the shadows, the powers of darkness I possess..."

Gwyn takes his hand and inspects one of the glowing, bright blue gems. "Blue is a good color on you. As for the darkness, I'd never want to lose you to it. I agree that it's best for you to be in control of it, and them", she says, motioning to his small wisps of shadows swirling around them, "rather than it controlling you. But...if it ever did become overwhelming and you were ever without your siphons for any reason, I would help you overcome it."

Azriel stares at this female. This wonderfully small, brilliant, incredible female. His female, and is astounded by her bravery and her big heart. "Gwyn, I don't think you—"

"Don't, Az. Don't underestimate me, you know what I've been through and what I've accomplished. I think I can speak for myself when I say that I can do the things I set my mind to doing. I also have powers that would offset some of yours, I believe."

He lets out a breath and nods. "You are right. I apologize. I shouldn't underestimate you based on stature or beauty, and I shouldn't assume to know your power when I do not."

Gwyn blushes shyly and a piece of hair falls into her face. He immediately reaches but stops his hand partially there.

"May I?"

She nods and smiles as he carefully brushes it behind her ear.

"Sometimes you can just...make those gestures. You don't have to ask me about everything. I know that because of what happened to me, and how you were the one who found me, that you are very gentle and considerate but I'm...I'm not breakable, Azriel. Not anymore. I won't fall apart under a soft touch, I promise."

He blushes and clears his throat, nodding. "I probably seem a bit foolish."

"No, it's kind and considerate. I just wanted you to know; that I'm okay. Around you, like this. You feel like a safety net. I'm not scared or wary of you. I couldn't be. You've always treated me with respect. And now that we are fated mates, my feelings of safety and security with you make much more sense. Even back then."

He smiles at her and brings her knuckles to his lips, giving them a gentle kiss, his shadows as well as the butterflies in his stomach loving the way her face flushes so easily with his touch or words. "You are safe with me, Gwyneth. Always."

She grins in return and giggles. "C'mon, let's grab our table."

Taking her hand shyly, he tosses her a charming half-smile and leads her into the restaurant. He had chosen something much nicer than Rita's. Plus, that place is usually a decibel too loud for being able to hear anyone's voice, never mind way too crowded.

"Wow", Gwyn breathes. "I've never been here. It's so pretty and...expensive looking."

"Don't worry about that, ok? I just want you to enjoy yourself. I even got us a corner booth so we wouldn't be surrounded by others. You are braving the city slowly but surely, and I didn't want you to feel panicked. I think that's one of the things we have in common, though. Too many people are overwhelming."

"And that's coming from an Illyrian who has successfully fought two wars", she retorts.

"Well, war is different. You have to think of strategy and your hatred for the enemy. You don't have time to feel. You don't have the luxury of vulnerabilities. One mistake and your life is cut down."

Gwyn shudders a bit, feeling the frigid darkness rattle through their bond from his reminiscing. Her hand tightens in his, her fingers lacing between his own.

"Sorry", he mumbles.

"Some things we don't forget", she whispers. "That's okay. You don't have to apologize for your feelings."

Azriel glances at her and sees the genuine care in her eyes. "You are a remarkable female, Gwyneth Berdara. Wise beyond your years."

"I grew up fairly quickly. It was the only way to move forward."

"I understand that all too well."

Azriel slides into the booth, wide enough for his wings to settle, and lets go of her hand so she can slide in across from him. Sitting down, she reaches across and slowly places her hand on his, playing with his fingers as she watches the sweet blush rise to his tan cheeks.

"I know you do."

He allows her touch, their fingers brushing together. "So I've been telling myself that I should have realized sooner. I feel absolutely foolish, I mean—I am the Spymaster", he mumbles, sounding a bit defeated and annoyed.

Gwyn can't help but giggle at his boyish pout. "Azriel, we were—are—both heavily guarded individuals. Mate bonds are tricky like that. Plus, I like to believe that they make themselves known at the right time. It's not something you could sneak up on or know previously. You are a brilliant spymaster, and not knowing has nothing to do with your merit."

"I appreciate that."

She nods and is quiet for a moment, taking in their surroundings as a waiter comes up and takes their orders. She holds her head high and doesn't even stutter for her first time in a crowded place in a very long while.

Azriel gives her hand a squeeze. "I realize that maybe this was a bit too much, but you held your own and even that small victory deserves to be celebrated in the mind's eye."

Taking a breath, she meets his eye, hers filled with determination, the day they had been when she and Emerie had won the Rite and she had declared him ''her new ribbon'. "No...it was time. I'm glad you asked me. Small steps towards a bigger goal. This was just another step that needed to be done, and I'm glad I get to be in your company while I achieve it. However small of a step it may be."

"Well then, I am proud to be a witness."

"Always so formal", she quips, teasing him slightly. "I know that it's been...well, let's just say forever for me and probably a while for you since...um...well, you've probably dated...", she trails off shyly.

"Not in quite a long while, though I must be honest and tell you I have mingled with women from time to time..."

"Right, I figured as much. But since I'm your mate, and also your friend and someone who really cares about you, you don't have to keep your professionalism and poise when you speak to me all the time. I'm not an emissary or a business opportunity, or a mission. I'm-more than that. I hope."

You are, and I'm sorry. As I said, it's been a long while. I am so used to either working, being around my family which sort of counts as work, or spending time alone. I haven't made a habit of loosely chatting most days, so my speech may come off as rigid and I apologize. I have never really said this aloud to anyone, but...being considered less, and being treated worthlessly or horrifically as a child makes you develop survival skills, including the correct way to speak to others to avoid conflict. So my go-to has always just been to withdraw and be alone."

"You're not alone anymore", she tells him softly. "I know we just found out and that we haven't really connected too deeply yet. But we are connected, and as I said, I do care about you very much. You can lean on me as much as you've been there for me to lean on."

Azriel takes a breath and laces their fingers together. "I'm afraid that if I let my guard down too much...if I become the real me, the Azriel nobody is used to except my brothers, that you won't like him as much as my cool, calculating, suave-talking version."

"I think that's ridiculous. Nobody can keep up a guise all day and all night. I've seen glimpses of the male you are underneath the title. Just as you had said in the library. We don't need titles between us, right? With me, in private, you don't need to be a spymaster or even a shadowsinger", she notes, watching his shadows settle around them as if they are listening sleepily, dense like heavy fog but respectful to never cross their vision. "You only have to be you, Azriel. Az. A friend and a mate. A male with a past who has feelings and sadness that comes with them. A male who could possibly be happy about finding his mate after waiting centuries. Someone who shouldn't have to hide anything he's feeling from said mate, knowing that she's been through stuff too and would ever think of judging you for them. And I can assure you with one hundred percent certainty that I will like him much more that the rigid, working Azriel."

He blushes and swallows thickly, taking a breath and nodding. "Alright. I will do my best to be more open with you. It may not come so easily to me, however."

"Nothing will be forced, just fluid. I promise", she smiles sweetly.

Az returns her smile and strokes the top of her hand tenderly, only pulling away from her touch when their food is brought over to them. They eat in comfortable silence for a few beats before he pipes up again. So...you told me earlier in the library that you had...secrets. Things you never told anyone, not even Nesta and Emerie."

Gwyn blows out a sigh and looks at her hands nervously. "I don't know if you'll want to remain my mate once I tell you, but honesty is important and you have displayed that."

"Gwyn, I can't imagine what's got you so terribly worried."

"Well, I know of your work. I know of some of the monsters you've battled and of the evil you have faced. Wh—what if some of that evil taints me? Then what would you say?"

"I would say that there isn't one single cell of evil in your body. I think I know you well enough to know you are one of the kindest, and most caring females I've ever had the good fortune of meeting."

"And yet, it still does reside within me."

"Tell me."

Gwyn raises her eyes back to his amber ones, her bright sea blue orbs watery with tears. "I don't want you to reject me, because I've truly fallen for you more with each passing day, and for once I have the chance at a relatively usual future. One I never thought I'd ever get the chance to have. And having all these parts of me...buried deep down, as dormant as I can make them to seem like a normal high fae..."

Azriel moves his plate and reaches his hand out, taking her smaller one in his again and giving it a small squeeze. "Gwyneth, you will never know how accepting I can be unless you tell me. You told me that you would never judge me for my feelings. Please, let me allow you the same courtesy and tell you that I will never judge you for anything you cannot help either."

A tear drips down her face and he strokes it away. "You have my full confidentiality if you need it."

She nods and brings his knuckles to her lips, kissing them tenderly. "You're right. I know you're right."

"So here it goes...I had told Nesta that my grandmother was a water nymph, and I'm sure that's what she told you and Cassian, right?"

"Right."

"That was a half-truth. Literally."

Az furrow his brow a bit. "Alright."

Gwyn nibbles her lip before continuing. "My grandmother was a water nymph, but truthfully she was half water nymph. She was the product of a water nymph being seduced by...um..."

Azriel looks at her, waiting inquisitively.

Her hand tightens its hold on his slightly. "By a lightsinger", she whispers shakily.

Azriel's eyes widen slightly in disbelief. He had battled lightsingers and had nearly been dragged to his death by one as an adolescent when he was full of hormones. He knows firsthand how evil and sadistic they are, and yet, how gorgeous and sweet they appear to their victims at first.

"I've heard stories about your past...through the library grapevine. You and the rest of the Inner Circle make quite good talking points. But...", she swallows hard and looks at their hands, her voice getting smaller.

"That—that makes me one-fourth lightsinger, along with my one-fourth nymph", she whispers brokenly. "That makes me one-fourth evil, Az", she meets his gaze, and tears fill her eyes.

Azriel swallows hard and his hand twitches slightly. When she goes to pull her hand away out of hurt, he grabs it gently but firmly. He takes a slow, even breath before responding. "No. You are not evil, Gwyn. You are only what you make yourself. If I succumbed to the darkness inside of me ages ago, I would be a monster. I would not be as put together as I am today. I would not be strategic, I would have become the darkness that people have feared me to be in the rumors. But I'm not. I am not that darkness, I molded the darkness and the shadows which used to terrify me, into an ally I can use to work with me as a part of my power, a part of myself. Just as you have molded that part of yourself to work with who you are at heart. I know with every truth in this world and in every fiber of my being that you're not evil."

Tears fall down her face quietly and she sniffles. "Earlier, in the library...wh—when I started to glow when I laughed...I saw it luring you closer to me. Making you feel fabricated emotions against your will without you suspecting. I saw the evil, always veiled in pure white, bursting from me. I see it every time I do something someone could be drawn to. I see it every single time I sing, how I entrance the whole temple without wanting to or meaning to, so all they can do is drift to the sound before it takes over their minds and their thoughts", her voice trembles. "And that vivid white glow of it-it's undeniable where the power comes from within me. The only difference is that anyone who has had an encounter with a lightsinger has either only seen its murky glow underwater, or they have not lived to talk about it."

Azriel laces their fingers together and leans forward, his face inches from hers. "Gwyn, you entrance me with or without that glow."

He smiles as a bloom of pink takes over her face the way he loves.

"Is that the truth?"

"Always. I would be a hypocrite to carry a dagger named truth-teller if I were known to wield mostly lies."

Gwyn smiles softly and takes a shuddering breath, "That's not all. I know that you know about my twin, Catrin."

"I do. And I wish she were here to celebrate your accomplishments with you, Gwyn. I am so sorry."

"You didn't hurt her, it's not your fault, Az."

"I should have acted faster."

"Shh", Gwyn tsks and places a finger to his lips. "You did everything you could. I know because I was there, and I felt how much you cared."

Azriel looks into her eyes, a moment of clarity making them gleam. "You knew", he murmurs, hushed.

"I suspected. But I was much too traumatized and hurt and absolutely crushed from losing my family that I didn't have the capacity to care back then, Az. When I saw you again for the first time—there was always a small little nagging inside my chest that made me intrigued by you, that made me want to know you, want to care. But it was pure speculation because it seemed through our dark times, it was stifled."

She takes a drawn out breath as he looks at her, adoration and guilt in his hazel eyes, some of his dark hair sweeping down from his forehead in front of them. Gwyn reaches forward slowly and tenderly strokes the tendrils away from his eyes. "Anyway, my sister...she and I were born, as I mentioned, with different features. Along with the High Fae attributes, like our ears and more humanlike features, we have features of the other creatures whose blood runs through our veins. Catrin had the dark black hair, dark eyes, and slightly webbed hands, and she was as pale as the moonlight. She resembled our water nymph side, even in Fae form. Whereas I have the bright eyes and the glow of our lightsinger side. However, we both carry powers from each side of our lineage. She glowed as well, and we both had nymph forms. Well, I still do, I just...when we were young, we would swim for hours and hours, just talking and singing our siren songs. We were young and foolish and we used to think it was hilarious when it would draw men near. Catrin was always very extroverted, whereas I'm much more reserved naturally. She would always make plans with the men we would lure. Of course, making sure they were unmated and such", she scoffs softly.

"It was a foolish thing to do, and I'd tell her that. Our mother would tell her that too on the rare occasion she joined us for a swim. Cat would always come up with some snarky remark like 'at least we aren't totally taking after our ancestors or we'd be killing them instead of dating them'. She was always so bold and brash, but I secretly envied that about her. However, I have not enjoyed a swim without her. I have not used that form since I lost her."

Azriel's face falls and he wonders what she means by 'form', but doesn't want to press an already emotional moment. Instead, he tries to lighten her heart, which he can feel is heavy at the moment. "I'm sorry. I have a feeling she would have gotten along well with Cassian."

Gwyn giggles quietly and nods. "Yeah, he does remind me of her sometimes. That's why I was never very wary of him. He's cheery, snarky, and...good. I'd be lying if I don't tell you a part of the reason I had kept showing up for training was because I'd imagine Cat laughing at his antics. They would have been great friends."

"I like that you took comfort in that, and I wholeheartedly agree." Realizing they are both finished with their meals, Azriel pays the bill and slips out of his seat, holding out a hand to her. She nods politely and takes it, thanking him for dinner as they walk outside into the heart of Velaris, residents sprinkled around still, but mostly at the taverns.

He squeezes her hand lightly and looks at her softly. "Would you like to walk, or would you rather return home? I know that going to dinner was a milestone for you, and it wasn't the easiest to relax."

"Was I that obvious?", she chuckles shyly, biting her lip.

"To me. But it's alright. I know crowds still...affect you. They aren't exactly my favorite thing either."

Gwyn hugs his arm gently and leans her head on his bicep. "They do most of the time, but I will never heal completely unless I brave them sometimes. I think braving others has to be easier than braving Ramiel. So I keep that in my mind. Also, I accepted your dinner invite because I wanted to, Az. Not because I had to", she blushes.

He blushes slightly as well as they stroll slowly by the shops, smiling as she stops at Emerie's to peer at her window display. "I'm honored you did."

"I'm honored that you're honored", she grins teasingly, giving him an amusedly pointed look.

"I'm doing the professional speak again, aren't I? You have that look."

Gwyn bursts out in giggles and smiles brightly. "Yes, you were. But in your defense, your politeness is also very dignified, so there isn't much difference. You caught all that from a look? I'm impressed by your ability to know me so quickly."

"Well, I hope this doesn't come off as creepy, but I've watched you while training. And I've heard you speak with your friends. I've seen the way you interact. I like the different glints in your eye and the different smiles you wear. Your face is very expressive of your thoughts and feelings, and I enjoy that a lot because my working days are filled with coldness and steely eyes."

"Ugh", she groans, covering her face with her hands. Azriel carefully moves them away.

"I mean it, Gwyn. Y—you are beautiful. Every expression is enjoyable to differentiate, and I especially like the way your freckles appear to dance upon your skin when you laugh or speak. More and more every day, you captivate me."

Gwyn stares up at him, her eyes reflecting the moonlight like an oceanic pool. "I-I'm not as poetic as you, Azriel but...I feel the same about you."

"Your words are incomparable right now to the way you're looking at me", he whispers lowly, his voice seeming to vibrate through her bones.

Gwyn swallows hard and chews on her lower lip, her vision trailing across his facial features and catching on his perfectly plump lips. "Az...", he whispers breathily.

"Hm...?"

"C-Can I try something?", she murmurs, barely audibly, their noses nearly touching as he had leaned down slightly to hear her better.

He sucks in a soft breath and nods, not trusting his voice, but being aware and folding his hands behind his back to ease any extra nervousness she may feel.

Gwyn tucks her hair behind her ears and slowly slides her fingertips along his jaw and his cheeks, resting to cradle his face. That's when she moves ever so slowly towards him, her eyes drifting closed.