"Ugh, I can't do this Lucien", Elain whines softly, her face flushed beautifully and her light brunette hair clinging to her face from sweat.

He chuckles in his deep baritone and goes over to her, pulling a red ribbon out of his pocket and carefully pulling her hair away from her face. His fingertips brush her cheeks as he does so.

Elain's face flushes deeper. He side-steps her once he's finished and catches her gaze. "What?"

"Th-thank you."

"My pleasure", he replies and bows overdramatically, flashing a handsome grin before straightening up again. "I know you can do this Elain. You simply need to focus. Harness your fae strength and speed. When you see a trout, go for it. I notice that you seem to always second guess yourself and hesitate. Don't. You will learn and grow and know your own power. I told you, you are more than you let yourself believe. You need to believe in yourself", he murmurs, his face dangerously close to hers. Undertones of sandalwood, blood orange, and musk reach her nose, radiating off of his body with his natural warmth, which, despite being sweaty, still brings her entire being comfort.

"And I'm not just talking about fishing either. You have so much strength, will, warmth, kindness, and yes, power, within you. You just need to take the plunge and open yourself up. If you stumble or fall along the way, I'll catch you. As I mentioned, I've been there, I went through a lot of time where I despised even breathing, being here. It is okay to have hitches along the way. Nobody is perfect, and nobody is okay all of the time."

Elain shies away from his gaze, glancing down at the ground. Lucien very carefully takes her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tipping her face back towards his. His natural eye burns with restrained fire as he looks deep into hers, seeming to see straight through to her very soul as her breath catches in her throat.

"Lucien", she breathes out in a hushed whisper, every nerve in her body quivering and thrumming at his touch, needing him to be closer.

"Elain", he murmurs, his voice an octave deeper than it had been even moments ago.

Her body visible shudders as she places her river-dampened hands on his chest. It's smoldering with heat as if there is a fire raging just beneath his golden skin, like he is the very sun from the sky.

This time his breath catches and his throat bobs, looking from her eyes to her lips, his metal eye whirring softly. Words go unspoken for what seems like forever as they still, their bond simmering between them. Pulled so tight she thinks she might go absolutely crazy if one of them doesn't say something soon.

Lucien sucks in a breath. "I—"

"We—"

He smirks playfully and enticingly. "I like your start better. Go on", he chides.

"We should um...keep trying before it gets dark. I want to say I caught at least one fish with my hands."

"Is that really what you wanted to say, little mate?"

Elain shudders again, her face tilting forward, closer to his touch. "No", she admits.

"Tell me then, what's truthfully on your mind?"

Chewing on her lip, she nods softly, and he takes his fingers away from her chin. She immediately misses his touch.

"We are both imperfect, you're right. But maybe we can be perfectly imperfect...together. We got a bad start, and things have been rough and patchy. But I'm glad you persevered and never gave up on me. You really are a good male, Lucien Vanserra."

He smiles boyishly and blushes faintly, flattered. "Thank you, Elain."

"And speaking of imperfections, I think some of them can be beautiful", she says softly, reaching up and very lightly trailing her thumb down the lower part of his scar, beneath his left eye. "You are a gorgeous male, Lucien. Your unfortunate ordeal has not taken away from that. In my opinion, the gold of this eye only enhances your natural handsomeness. It's cruel beauty in the most regal way. Plus, the gold does go with your entire aesthetic", she smiles, that thumb stroking across the rigid bump of where his skin scarred over.

"I think if I ever saw you with two natural eyes, I'd be shocked. You would look much different, and a lot less intimidating. But you're intimidating in the best way. The way that proves you survived something not many others would. That you were still standing and still fighting, and you went back again to this horrific, disgusting, vile creature that did this to you, to fight for your home. And in that way, you are a hero. Feyre may have lifted the curse since that was her destiny, but you also fought and didn't stop fighting. You stood up for what was just and right. You helped her and aided her so that she could succeed. Therefore, you did as much as you possibly could do as well. And I have deep respect for you for that."

Lucien shudders at her touch and bows his head, leaning into her touch as she cups his cheek. "My mate", he murmurs. "I am sorry that you got paired with such a broken misfit."

"I take you as you are. Just as you take me as I am. You may have scars on the outside, but I have matching scars on the inside. Twin flames. This is why I believe the Cauldron matched us. We both hail from families that are shattered and brutal. We both believe ourselves to be unworthy, and in turn, we are worthy of one another."

Lucien's eye becomes misty and he looks at her lovingly. "I've never given myself the time or opportunity to feel everything I should have been feeling. I locked it away inside of me with that control I hold so fierce and tightly to. I've never...allowed it to make an appearance. Vulnerability. I tell myself I'm different than everyone else. Tamlin, Rhysand, Azriel, even my brother Eris whom I know isn't as savage as he seems. But I'm really not different than them at all. I do what most other fae males do: lock away everything. Every broken tiny shard inside of me. Lock it away until you're numb. Because it's worse to let yourself be vulnerable with someone, to trust them so wholly, only to have them use it against you", he mutters. "I've seen that. Feyre is my friend, but I saw what she did to Tamlin. I am not saying he wasn't at fault. Their downfall was the fault of them both. Mutual ignorance. But I saw Feyre use the vulnerability he entrusted her with when they were in love to make him look like a monster, and that I was never and will never be alright with. And...you're my mate, Elain but—"

Elain swallows and drops her hand, clasping his hand between her smaller ones. "But I'm an Archeron. I'm her sister. You're afraid I'd do that to you."

"I don't like that there is a small part of me that is wary. You are my mate, I don't want to feel that way. I think it's a coping mechanism to be wary of everybody at this point. You have to realize, Tamlin and Feyre—if you had seen them back then, they were truly in love. Hell, she came back to free our Court and him. Maybe it was different because they weren't mates. But he has as much trauma and pain in his past as I do. It's eerie how similar our stories are. As I said, it's his story to tell, and I'm not a liberty to say, but...he didn't—doesn't-give up his heart freely. And so then he did, only to her. When she took her leave from him and Spring, she could have left it at that. He was already heartbroken and he knew he coped in the wrong way, he admitted his fault. When we finally realized she was of her own mind—we would have let her be if we had known. All she had to do was prove it to us because we cared about her safety and wellbeing, especially after Amarantha. But she took his vulnerability-his weakness- and his privacy, and she twisted it to ravage the entire Court. It's been two years and we are still rebuilding, Elain. I've forgiven her because she was also in a dark place but forgiving and forgetting are two different things. You haven't seen the state of his Court. It's finally looking up, but that was not okay. Half his residents are still dwelling in Summer, and the rest were killed in the civil insurrection. I clearly don't have a court to destroy, as I am a member of the Band of Exiles. Individuals who don't belong anywhere, who move around Prythian with no real home. But I want to trust you with all I am. I want to have you to lean on and to be the one you can lean on. Equals."

Elain swallows and takes a breath, walking over to the riverbed again, dipping her feet. "I don't know the entire story, but I'm glad I have your side of it too. I'm sorry that innocents were harmed. I'll apologize for her, for that. Even if she is still full of resentment toward that place. You are right. They should not have been dragged into it. As for me and you...I am not my little sister. I know I've done a lot wrong, and I am at fault for my own inaction. Maybe if Nesta and I weren't her sisters, she would have been put-off by us as much as Tamlin. I was a part of how Nesta was treated badly as well, and I realized recently that all of that was wrong too. Rhysand is the High lord, and...I guess I wanted to belong somewhere, anywhere. So in the process of wanting that, I turned against my big sister, and Feyre convinced us both to listen to her husband, even knowing how much he despised Nesta. I am still making amends with Nesta for that betrayal. So though I have yet to meet him, I can at least understand beating yourself up for your missteps like Tamlin.

As for Feyre...she...she's been through so much to find happiness, and I think that though she is happy, there is still a lot of anger within her, a lot of resentment for what she had to endure, not only in Spring with Tamlin, but as a child with myself and Nesta. She carried the burden of our family for years and she was so young. This is why she clings to control. Any bit she can get because she's terrified of anything being stripped away from her again. Like she's living a dream.

But as for me, I am committed to being my own person and making my own decisions now. Feyre and Nesta belong here in the Night Court. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful and Velaris will always be a kind of home to me because my sisters reside here. But I just don't feel like I belong here. And I think it's because I'm your mate, and you don't belong here. Not long term."

"That is possible. I prefer sunnier courts. Spring, Autumn if I weren't hunted there, even the human lands where you're from."

Lucien joins her but walks into the river, setting his sights on the flowing water to catch sight of a trout.

"Isn't there a Day Court, too?"

Lucien chuckles. "Yes."

"Have you ever stayed there? I'd assume it's quite sunny."

"I've been there on business, though I've never stayed there overnight, no."

"Feyre tried teaching me about the Courts and all the High Lords. Let me think...Day Court. Is that Heelin?", Elain ponders out loud.

He laughs. "Very close. Helion. And he does have the power to heal", he chuckles.

"Right. Helion. You have the power to heal too, so is that also an Autumn power?"

Lucien furrows his brow a bit. "Uhh, not usually, no. But I don't know too much about my mother's family. She was adopted actually. She is High Fae, but as a baby, she was left near an Autumn Court river. Her parents found her there when fishing actually. She's the one who taught me. She learned from her adoptive father how to fish with her hands. It was when I was very young, and ever since, I'd practiced myself after Beron got even more controlling. Her parents loved her, but they messed up by making her marry Beron. I think she was pregnant with Eris and so...that had to happen. But anyway, I'm thinking maybe one of my biological grandparents hailed from the Day Court, hence my healing power. Either way, I'm a mutt in every sense of the word, it's a wonder that I'm not a shapeshifter too", he scoffs jokingly.

"Well, you'd be the prettiest mutt I'd ever see", she murmurs, blushing as he looks up at her. She flashes him a flirty grin then casts her gaze back down at the water.

"You flatter me, mate. But don't let Tamlin hear you say that", he laughs jokingly.

"I hope I do flatter you. And I forgot Tamlin was a shapeshifter. Oops. You're probably still prettier."

Lucien smirks to himself as a shimmer catches his eye. He lunges at high speed and grabs the slick, squirming body of the trout, holding it up in victory. "Ha! Got ya."

Elain pouts. "That's your sixth one!"

"Yes, it is. I have had centuries of practice, Elain."

"Still", she pouts, huffing and sitting down on the nearest boulder.

"Here. Maybe I can help you? If you'd like. Come here."

"Okay", she blushes, walking over to him.

He takes her hand and gently pulls her in front of him. "Just lean down like this and keep your eyes peeled for any little flash of movement or flicker of iridescent light, that's usually their scales."

She nods, intently, focusing on the water, and leans down. Lucien drapes an arm around her before she feels the warmth of his body pressed against the back of hers, leaning over with her as if they are melded together as one.

A few minutes go by in silence as she sees a flicker. That's when she lunges with abandon, using her own fae speed, and feels her hands close over something slimy, right before she loses her balance and squeals, falling over into the rush of the stream. However, she does not for one moment loosen her grip. Lucien gasps in worry and grabs the back of her overalls, hauling her upright again, Elain dripping wet but with a huge grin on her face. "I got one! I finally got one!", she squeals, holding up her trout in victory as if it's a large trophy. "Lucien did you see that!? I did it myself!"

He laughs and grins brightly, hauling her into his chest and spinning her around in excitement. "You did it, Elain! I knew you could!"

She giggles and pants, coming down from her adrenaline high as he sets her down. She carefully lets the fish back into the river before turning and hugging Lucien tightly. "Thank you, thank you."

"I didn't do anything. You did", he chuckles.

"You had confidence in me. You believed in me. Thank you."

"I always will, Elain."

That's when it snaps within her. The realization that yes, Lucien Vanserra was the perfect choice for her as a mate. That the Cauldron was not wrong as she had initially thought in her early, bitter days. He's perfect for her, and she for him. Grabbing his face, she pulls him into a kiss neither of them quite expected, but one that was needed.

Lucien responds to her lips eagerly, stroking his tongue against the seam of her mouth before she opens for him and moans, their tongues dancing together and reveling in each other's taste as he lifts her off her feet to match his height.

Elain shivers both in pleasure and with the chill of her soaked body. Lucien senses her discomfort and pulls away softly, his breaths coming fast. "You're cold."

"Getting there", she pants softly. "You were helping significantly though, I must say."

He smiles handsomely and pecks her lips softly, an electric pulse shooting down to her toes. He strokes his hands down her arms slowly and his palms have a faint golden glow before she realizes she is suddenly dry again.

"Are you just going to be healing me all day every day from my own clumsiness for the rest of eternity?"

Lucien smiles brightly. "If that's what I must do, I'd be glad to. In fact, I'm just giddy that you're thinking of an eternity with me, Miss Elain."

Elain turns red and gives him a cheeky look. "Yeah, I'm just as shocked as you are, Lord Lucien."

"Oi", he laughs. "I think we should begin making our way back. The sun is beginning to set", he motions to the darkening sky.

"The colors are beautiful."

"Just as you are."

"Oh wow, I set myself up for that one", she giggles.

He smirks and nods. "That you did, and I must say, I'm really enjoying this bantering side of you."

"Maybe you just bring it out of me, fox boy."

"Ohhh you did not."

"I did."

She squeals as she runs away, shoes in hand. Lucien grabs his tunic and boots and runs after her grabbing her around the waist with his free arm. She laughs hard and tilts her head back on his shoulder. Lucien laughs along and nuzzles her neck. "Got you."

"Yeah, yeah, you did", she continues to giggle. "Though it's hardly fair, you know how to tap into your powers naturally and I don't!"

"Mhh that is true. You'll just have to learn. I'll help you practice. But not now. It's getting chilly and you're in short sleeves."

"I have you. You...radiate warmth. Like a space heater", she murmurs, nuzzling his chest.

Lucien shivers at her intimate touch and grasps her hand with his free one. "Come, Elain, we have a bit to go until we are back at the House."

She nods and follows him, holding his hand and watching the hues of blue, pink, yellow, and orange stretch across the dusky sky.

Halfway back to the River House, the last of the sun's rays seem to catch on a tree as she looks around. That's when she gasps. "Lucien!"

"What? What's wrong?", he drops his belonging and looks around as if on alert.

"Oh, gods, no, nothing is wrong, I'm sorry I worried you. Just—look. An apple tree!"

She rushes over and climbs the first few branches, Lucien raising an eyebrow and looking impressed. "My little gardener is a tree-climber. Never imagined that. Not with all your pretty dresses."

Elain smirks. "When I was little I used to get scolded and punished for it." Her smile fades. "My mother used to call me the prettiest, said I needed to be a presentable girl so I could become a desirable woman for a rich husband. So they could marry me off, most likely for status. I wasn't allowed to wear pants or do anything she deemed masculine, like having my hands in the dirt or climbing the big oak tree that was in our back yard at the time. But I loved it. Whenever I had the chance to steal away and read a book among the branches, I would. Nesta always knew, but she wouldn't tell. I-I know she often got punished for not watching me or for allowing me...I never thanked her for that. Our grandmother was particularly cruel to her. Our mother as well. She took the brunt of all of it for me. We did not have good childhoods, and our mother's categorizing of us essentially made us grow up so...broken...separated. We were never the kind of sisters who had the chance to be best friends."

She looks sad and leans back against the trunk, her legs swinging a bit. "I suppose whether our mother lived or died, Feyre would have had it bad...she would have been cruelly picked apart by my mother, or how things did fall into place-the cards she had been dealt by my mother's forced promise. She knew that Feyre was my father's favorite, so she was the only one allowed to have more freedom over her actions at the time. She was able to be more boyish. I was so jealous...but years ago I realized that we all had it horribly, just different variations of horrible. Feyre didn't have too much to do with our mother, so she knew she was cold, but never saw her cruelty. Until she made Feyre promise to carry our family, to take care of us when she was only eleven. That's why she learned how to hunt, and as a young adolescent, she provided when our father's leg was shattered and we became poverty-stricken. Nesta and I... as I said before, we should have protected her. She's our baby sister, we should have—", her breaths shake.

"Anyway, what's done is done. But after everything with Feyre getting taken away by Tamlin, and us finally having money to thrive again, but then getting sucked back into Prythian's war and being turned Fae, I haven't had time to figure out who I am without someone standing over me and punishing me for the things I enjoy. All I know is that I'm free now. And I'm finally beginning to do things that I want to do, that I've never been allowed to do. Even the simple things, like wearing pants or climbing a tree, or fishing with my bare hands while my feet are in the mud", she smiles softly. "I hate being defined by my looks. But my entire life that's all I've ever known. 'Be quiet and sit pretty, Elain. Be a good girl and show them your dress, Elain. Don't frown, Elain, you'll ruin your pretty face.' I hated it, and I still do. Because when people only see you for beauty, or if you're generally quiet, they have this automatic assumption that you're stupid. I'm not stupid, Lucien. I am adventurous, even if it took some coaxing because I was afraid of being judged again. I am sarcastic and funny when I want to be. I love reading just as much as Nesta, and writing too. Dancing on occasion. I love to bake. And Garden, obviously. And I adore the outdoors. I also like dressing up when there is a special event."

Lucien stares up at her intensely, loving this female more and more with every word from her lips. He can't help but fall for her resilience. "Wow."

"Wh-what?", she blushes, biting her lip and noticing the blazing heat in his stare.

"Just—you. You're as amazing as I thought you were."

Elain's face turns redder and she picks two apples from the tree. "Am I really?"

"Absolutely."

Pulling her lower lip between her teeth shyly, she tosses him one of the apples. He catches it and chuckles, taking a bite. Elain smiles shyly, it only widening by the second, waiting for him to realize.

Lucien glances at her, biting her lip and grinning brightly. He crinkled his brow before it dawns on him and he looks at the apple, gasping. "Elain."

"Yes, Lucien?"

"Uhh, there's...there's something you should know about the mate bond. When a female—"

"I already do know, Lucien."

He gapes up at her, dumbfounded. "Wait, y-you do?"

"Yes, Lucien. Feyre told me."

"About...about the food thing?"

"Yes, Lucien", she begins to giggle.

"S-so this means...that you're—", he looks from the apple to his mate, his heart feeling like it will burst from his chest.

"Yes, Lucien", she murmurs and climbs down from the tree, taking a small bite of her own apple. Once she reaches him she pulls him close by his belt loops and wraps her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to hers, his scent filling her, and the lingering taste of apple on his tongue feeling like home.

Lucien wraps his arms around her and dips down, kissing her deeper, more insistently, making her moan into his mouth. Before he can lose the very last thread of self-control he had, not to push her against that damned tree, he pulls away from her lips and stares into her eyes. "I-I need you to say it. Or I won't believe it."

Elain beams up at him and strokes his cheek. "I, Elain Archeron, hereby accept our mating bond, Lucien Vanserra."

He tears up and is speechless. Another feat only Elain could succeed in.

She kisses his cheek. "I thought I would make it formal for some flair. I know you have an air for the dramatic. Though I should have added in a flourishing curtsy as well." She smirks and steps back, holding eye contact as she curtsies to him. "I am now your Lady, my Lord", she says dramatically.

She expects him to laugh or to have some funny response, but instead what he does is completely unexpected. This tall, beautiful, kind, and jokester of a male sinks to his knees and cries. He cries into his hands, sobs wracking his lean, muscled body.

"L-Lucien...", she whispers, making her way over to him and placing a hand on his bare back, the warmth seeping into her palm.

Lucien sobs, embarrassment washing over him, but knowing that she accepted him and their bond was something he had forced himself to accept would never happen. Because how could a female so gorgeous and so sweet want a male like him? As shattered and whose face was ravaged.

"Lucien", she whispers again, shuffling closer to him, on her knees now, as darkness descends upon the forest. She gently removes his hands from his handsome face and wraps her arms around him tightly. "I am here. I want this. I want you. If you'll still have me."

Tears flow down his cheeks as he tugs her close to him, his breaths coming in short gasps. "I will", his voice cracks, deep and rasping. "I had convinced myself that it would never happen. That I-I was undeserving."

"You are not undeserving. You are worthy of me, and I of you. You are incredible. Strong, powerful, kind, loving, funny, generous, and gorgeous", she tells him, kissing his cheek. "As you are. Nothing more, nothing less."

"As you are", he murmurs softly into her neck, his dreams finally being answered in none other than Velaris, the City of Dreamers.