Emerie stares at him in disbelief, swallowing hard. She goes to say something, but nothing comes out of her mouth. However, her mind is running a mile a minute.

"Is she even ready for this? Why now? Why him? Why, why, why...?"

Balthazar clears his throat and steps back shyly, giving her room to breathe, yet still staring into her eyes. "Don't be afraid, or worried, or...horrified. I don't expect anything from you, nor are you obligated to want me in that way, Emerie", he whispers, shock still upon his features as well.

Taking a deep breath, she clears her mind and looks at the male before her. The male that has shown her nothing but kindness, understanding, and, despite being unconscious at the time—safety. Moving close to him again, she reaches up and takes his face between her hands, her big brown eyes wide, yet determined.

"I am not afraid of you. Nor am I horrified. I'm not even very worried, at least not of you. I—I am a damaged person, Bal..."

"I know who you are, Emerie. While I may not have years or even months of time of knowing you under my belt, I believe I know your heart. And I definitely know your strength, your courage, your kindness, and your empathy."

Brushing her thumbs along his cheekbones, she allows a soft smile to come to her face. "Did you know I never thought this would happen to me?"

"Did you know that I never expected it to happen to me either?"

She chuckles and drops her hand, only to pick up his larger ones in her small ones, watching as she interlaces their fingers before looking back into his eyes. "Mate", she whispers.

Balthazar turns a shy shade of red and swallows hard. "Mate", he murmurs, gently leaning down to place his forehead on hers.

"Thank you. For allowing me to say it first. Usually, a male can hardly contain it from spilling from his lips."

"It was very difficult to hold in", he chuckles deeply. "But I pride myself on being controlled and aware. And I know you didn't want to hear it from me until you were ready. You wanted to process it first to prepare yourself."

Emerie smiles and lightly nuzzles his nose with hers. "Maybe you haven't known me for years or months, but it certainly feels like you have. That's exactly how I felt. You just seem to know."

"As I said, I pride myself on awareness. I like to be in tune with both myself and others. How they're feeling, how they think, and what their desires are. You must remember, I enjoy politics over violence. The biggest part of politics is the verbal and emotional relations between people. I find we only take a hundred steps back when we either scream at one another or refuse to speak. Discussions have to be had. Hard ones, difficult, horrifying, and sometimes depressing ones. But they need to be had or no progress will ever be made. At least not for Illyria. So I like to live my life that way too. Deciphering individuals for who they are on the inside, long before making a judgment based on the outside."

Emerie tears up and squeezes his hands. "You are one incredible male, Bal."

"Lucky for me, the Mother mated me to a female who is beautiful both on the inside and the outside."

Eagerly tossing her arms around his neck, Emerie sniffs and settles into his gentle hold, realizing that she has truly been blessed by the Mother, after all her trauma. That she deserves this male. And he deserves her.

"You're not so bad yourself you know", she chuckles through a soft cry.

"Phew! That's good to know, I was really worried there", he laughs. "Hey, why are you crying?"

"Happy tears, I'm happy. I'm actually very very happy. However unexpected, I-I don't think the Mother could've chosen anyone better for me than you."

"Em...", he blushes, placing a soft kiss upon her cheek.

"I mean it. And I know there are parts of me that are damaged, both on the inside and the outside. But I'm constantly evolving and working on it.

"I told you; you are gorgeous on the inside and outside. Nothing will change my mind about that. Not your wings, not your trauma, and not your past. I want to be able to make all of those more bearable for you."

"You already do. I know this was our first date and that it's wild in and of itself that this revelation has come to light right now, but in just one evening you've singlehandedly made all of those things feel a bit lighter within me. Made them a bit more bearable. Thank you,"

"No need to thank me. I mean it, I'm simply doing what any good male should for his female, or any female really."

Emerie grins and kisses his hand. "You're the cutest."

"I'm not cute", he pouts. I'm a big Illyrian soldier."

She giggles and nods. "A big, adorable Illyrian soldier."

"Oh my gods", he mumbles, blushing.

"See!? Case and point!", she laughs.

"You are more adorable than me, Em."

"Hard disagree."

"Oh, uh, hard agree", he laughs, spinning her around. She squeals and laughs as he gently sets her back on her feet. "Now, shall we grab something to eat? Or do you want to fly around some more?"

"Hmm, how about we fly around for a little bit longer until it gets too dark, and then we can go to that fish and chip shop. You'll love it."

"I'm sure I will love it if you say I will, darling."

"Darling?", she asks softly.

He bites his lip and gives her a boyish smile. "Just...trying it out. Does it bother you?"

"No...I quite like it."

"Then let's go, darling!", he beams and scoops her up, diving down the mountain as Emerie's squeals and giggles of happiness echo from the peaks.

.

.

.

Mor saunters into the main area of the River House, wine glass in hand, red dress showing off her legs despite the chill. She takes a seat at the end of the long sofa, draping her arm over the side of it casually. Amren gives her a once over and something in her expression changes but only slightly—as if she already inherently knew something was weighing on the blonde.

Cassian and Nesta are chatting in the corner, Lucien is sitting near the fireplace with Elain in his lap as he probably whispers sweet nothings to her, and Azriel is observing the room looking stoic as ever, most likely annoyed that his mate was still at work. Rhys and Feyre are on the other end of the sofa, crooning over little Nyx per usual.

After waiting a few moments, and blowing out a silent sigh, she decides to swallow her pride and pull up her big girl panties. It was time to tell them and pray they would understand in some way. She tosses Azriel a worried glance and he inclines his head with a small, encouraging smile. At least she doesn't have to worry about backlash from what she did to him. In a way, it was much better to have told him once he had found a mate. It just so happened to pass that way and she couldn't have been more grateful for that.

Even still—an uncomfortable knot forms in her stomach and she wonders how everyone else will react. Especially her cousin. Her blood. She had lied about this huge part of herself for so long that she wonders if he will see it as a betrayal. If they all will. And then there's Cassian who makes a joke of everything—no. She needs to stop thinking and just do it. She's got this.

Sucking in a breath, she places her wine glass down on the table and stands up, her nerves thrumming inside her. Clearing her throat loudly in the center of the room, all eyes slowly move to her quizzically.

"I uh...I need to talk to you all, or rather, I need to get something off my chest that has been brewing in it for—for a very very very long time and I think it's time that I earn my title. Because I haven't. I haven't been truthful with all of you." She glances at Feyre, whose eyes are wide. She hands Nyx to Rhys and moves over to Mor, gripping her hand.

"You're doing the right thing", she whispers before resuming her seat, encouraging her to continue with a nod. Rhys looks between them, concerned.

Mor continues. "I want to start by telling you that I hadn't told anybody for the last...five hundred years or so. None of you were told explicitly and you should have been", she says softly, looking over at Azriel. "Despite it being very personal to me, I wronged many of you by keeping it to myself, and by some of my actions to keep it a secret. I will forever be guilty of that. As of right now, the only people I have told recently are Feyre and Azriel. Feyre, because and it was during the war when I was feeling particularly nostalgic in the worst ways and she has quickly become my favorite cousin", she smirks slightly at Rhys before her face becomes guilt-ridden again. "And Az, because I owed him that personal moment when I spoke my truth."

She shifts on her feet and sighs softly. "I hope you can all accept me as well as forgive me for the deception I've been flaunting. But...", she looks around the room into the eyes of her friends and family, one by one. "Oh gods", she murmurs, taking another breath.

"It's okay, Mor. We are your family", Feyre tells her. "Go on."

"I—I've been in the closet for centuries. I prefer females", she says timidly. "Romantically. I—I suppose I'm physically bisexual, but as for real love, I prefer females. At least that is my experience. During the last major war, I was in love with a human woman. I loved her deeply. But yeah...that's my giant secret."

Amren smirks slightly. "Girl, I've been waiting for you to come out with it."

Cassian howls a laugh and goes over to her, hugging her tightly. "That's why you never wanted to do me again! Ha, I knew there was nothing wrong with me! If there was, Nesta certainly wouldn't always be sc—unph" He grunts as Nesta punches him in the gut.

Nesta and Mor still aren't on the best terms but Nesta squeezes her arm gently in support.

Lucien smiles. "It's brave to become your true self when at times you think the light at the tunnel will never come. I'm happy for you, Morrigan." She smiles and inclines her head. "Thank you, Lucien.

Elain hugs her too. "We're proud of you, Mor. We can celebrate over dinner tonight. Nuala and Cerridwen are making a big feast since everyone is here."

"That sounds lovely, Elain."

Azriel comes over and hugs her. "I hope you feel that the weight has lifted", he murmurs and smiles sweetly.

"Thank you", she sniffs. "And again...the things I did—if I ever broke your heart by my ignorance, I'm so sorry Az."

"Shh, water under the bridge, Morrigan. We are okay now. I wasn't exactly in the right for pining so long in silence either. We're good."

Mor nods and smiles, squeezing his shoulder in gratitude. As Azriel steps away, she swallows hard, seeing Rhys staring at her as if he had never seen her before once in his entire life.

"Rhys...", she says quietly.

Rhys stands up and hugs her closely. "I'm glad you can be yourself now, and you know I fully accept you regardless. You're my cousin and I love you. I'm proud of you."

Tears come to her eyes and she nods, her head on his shoulder. "Thank you."

He nods and pulls away to look at her. "However, I am completely and utterly shattered that you thought you had to hide from me. Out of everybody, me? I'm your family. I'm your blood. I'm your fucking cousin, Mor", he grinds out, inner anger mixed with hurt in his deep voice. "I can't believe I wasn't the first person you went to, and I can't pretend not to be pissed off about that. Azriel...I get that in a way. But Feyre? She's my wife and I love her, and I know you two get along. But how the hell could you both keep this from me? How could you distrust me so much for so long, Mor?" Darkness begins to emanate slightly from where his wings would be and it plumes around the room, dimming it.

Feyre hops up and grabs his arm. "Rhys."

He clenches his jaw and looks hurt, unable to believe that he had never truly known the only blood family he had for five hundred years.

"Rhys", Feyre says more firmly. "Breathe."

He takes a shaking breath and reigns in his power, the darkness fading away. He then turns to her. The hurt in his eyes makes her reel back slightly, but she claps his hands. "It wasn't my secret to tell, Rhys. I wasn't going to out her. Not to you, not to anybody until she was ready. That was not an option, I wouldn't do that to her."

"I know that. I know. That's not—I..." He growls in frustration and runs a hand through his hair. "Five hundred years, Mor", he mutters.

She bites her lip. "I know, Rhys. I was a coward, okay? And I did things that hurt Azriel, hurt Cassian, hurt Nesta eventually. Because I was so adamant that people not know, that I would play the part of the handsy seductress. I would play the part because it's all I've known how to be since I claimed my body back from feeling owned by my parents. It felt like I had to be that way to prove myself. To prove I belonged to no one and that I can't be controlled. Sex gave...gives...me a sense of freedom to choose for myself. I chose men because it was easier than to have a stigma around me yet again, and I enjoy the physical in that aspect but...I didn't know any other way to be. And as time went by and kept going by it got harder and harder to tell you."

"You're not a coward, and I understand why you wanted freedom without stigma. I just wish you always knew that you could trust me with anything."

"In a way, I did. But it just got harder to say it. And the entire time I hid my relationship with Andromache...I thought about it. I thought about telling everyone. But I couldn't because I would have been putting her in danger. Which I wouldn't do."

"Andromache", he states. "Andromache? She was your love? Her army battled with us."

"Yes", Mor affirms, tearing up. "After the war, I let her go home. But once the treaty was in place and the wall went up, I realized I made a mistake and I didn't want to let her go, but it was too late." Tears drip down her face, muddled with mascara. "When the wall began to crumble, I snuck to where I knew she was living. She was married to a man, and she had children. She was aged", she whispers. "She died eventually. But then when we all went to meet with the current Queens...gods, Rhys, her spirit lived on in Demetra. It was so potent it was like she was there with me, like she was telling me she remembered me in a way and it took everything in me not to react like a puddle. And then they killed her in Velaris during the attack", her lip trembles, and more tears fall. "It was like she left me all over again. And this time I won't ever get to feel her spirit again."

Rhys's face softens and he glances at Feyre before embracing Mor once again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so upset. I had no idea you went through that alone, Mor. I just really wish you had known you could lean on us, that's all."

"I know, I'm sorry too."

"You don't have to be...it-it's your life and it had to be on your time and your terms."

She nods, out of words to speak for what feels like forever. Drawing in a breath, she pulls away and grabs a napkin, blotting her eyes.

Conversation soon starts back up around the room and everything seems to settle within herself. She feels unobscured and free of her own prison, finally.

.

.

.

"Wow, you know I'd never been to a beach before?", Briar muses, her feet adoring the feel of the soft sandy shores of Adriata.

"Never?", Cresseida gasps, her sun-kissed dark skin seeming to glow in the sunshine.

"Never. My mother worked herself to the bone and I was so busy with my schooling. We didn't have much time for trips. But despite that, she always made sure I was fed, comfortable, and safe."

Cresseida smiles empathetically. "She sounds like a good fe—woman."

"She was. I don't think I've seen anywhere this beautiful", she breathes out as she takes in the view of the blue-green water and the vivid colors of the coral.

"I live here, and even I agree", she giggles.

"Don't get me wrong, the Winter Court was gorgeous with all the fresh fallen snow, but I'm not one for the cold", Briar chuckles. "But it was really nice to have newfound family in Viviane and Kallias, and Vianna too. I suppose if all goes well, maybe I'll have friends in every court."

"You're very likable, so I'm sure I will. I hope you won't be going to Autumn though. Knowing Lucien, he wouldn't put you or himself in danger like that."

"Yeah, I've heard some of his horror story. It's awful. I'd imagine the Court is gorgeous too, so it sucks that the High Lord is so terrible."

"That it is. It's not the only Court with a bad High Lord..."

Briar swallows and looks at her hands. "I've heard the stories of much of what transpired. I usually dislike stories, as you only really get one point of view. You never really know the full situation until you have both sides."

"But Tamlin is known to be—"

"To be angry. And vile. And bitter. I have heard. But isn't everybody angry sometimes? Hasn't everyone here in Prythian gone through enough in centuries that they could tear themselves apart at one point or another? I have, and my human life was very short compared to all of you. Just because someone is less equipped to handle tragedy or trauma, does not make them any less of a person. And just because someone makes a horrible mistake because of that hurt, doesn't make them unworthy of being looked at as someone with feelings. I learned that early, because my mother and I were poor, as I've told you. There were ill middle-classmen who would help us out, and there were healthy rich who would not. There had been people who wished for death but could keep on with their lives, and there were those whose minds could not handle the toll poverty cast upon their body and they chose to take their own life. You are not good or evil by your born ability to cope. Therefore, as I told Viviane, I will consider everybody's opinions and tread lightly, but I will not put someone down whom I have not gotten the chance to formally know myself. Because until then, other opinions are mere rumors to me. I hope that makes sense. So I cannot in good conscience label him bad just because everyone else has. Not until I've seen it myself."

Cresseida looks at her stunned. "Wow...I-I guess I never looked at things that way. You're very wise for your age."

"Thank you. And not for nothing, but as it stands, I haven't heard one soul who has spoken ill about him speak about how they could help him restore his Court. He has people here in Summer, and as lovely as it is, I'm sure they'd like to go home. How is he supposed to learn to be better when all that's been wrought upon him is hatred? Hatred won't allow anyone to bloom. It's not a motivator, it's a deterrent."

"Lucien is helping him restore Spring. It's going slowly but surely, last we heard."

Briar looks into Cresseida's dark brown eyes. "One soul out of how many in Prythian who could have gotten it done faster by working together. The Courts may be separated by a seasonal or solar plexus, but that does not mean Prythian isn't one continent. You—We're all Fae. I don't see why we can't all simply help each other in times of need. With all the different things I've been told, it just feels like everyone ignores problems except when it comes to a major war. War is one thing, but what about the battles and the hurdles? Vicious, murdering High Lords should be unanimously dealt with, Courts should have help when they need fixing, and High Courts need to be able to be civil with one another for big matters. The only person I've met who feels as I do is Lucien. He seems to be everywhere and know everyone and get along, even if he doesn't like one or two persons."

"Mother help me...you're glaring wisdom onto me like the sun right now. I suppose...when you are raised to keep everything orderly and contained by Courts, that's all you ever know and it's simply accepted as normal. It's the only way Prythian has ever thrived."

"It is thriving though? Or is it just surviving?"

Cresseida wiggles her toes in the water and shrugs softly. "I really don't know. I suppose we are only surviving right now."

Briar dips her feet as well and rests her chin on her knees. "I'm sorry if that was a lot of word vomit. When I get curious or pondery, I tend to start speaking and it all just tumbles out from my brain."

"No, it's okay. You made amazing points. And it's not for me to say but gods, you sound like an incredible adviser, despite only being fae for a short while."

"Thank you", she smiles. "When I was human I worked with children. But I was studying hard to be a social worker. Do you know what that is?"

Cress shakes her head.

"Well, in the mortal lands when a woman would fall pregnant who could not raise the child for whatever reason, she would give them over to an orphanage. They were like big houses for abandoned children. Anyway, social workers are people who try to match those children with families who want children and cannot conceive them. They also act as someone to lean on for the child. Like a healer, but...of the mind. In a way. We called them psychologists. Many of the social workers were also psychologists. They study how the brain works and how everyone reacts differently to things. I was studying to become one so I could one day be a social worker. But then my mother died, and I had no money at all for schooling, and well, now I'm here. But I still like helping people."

"Wow...all of that is crazy. I can't imagine a place where a child wouldn't be wanted. They're hard to conceive here, so all of them are a blessing. And all that learning...Fae are born with innate abilities so we don't have to worry about that."

"Well, not all the children were unwanted, they just couldn't be cared for. Money is scarce now, and food is even more scarce. I'm sure many have died of hunger..."

Cresseida nods slowly.

"I wish I could help, but as it is, I still have no money to give", she chuckles sheepishly.

"You'll make a name for yourself here, I can tell. You will be an asset, Briar."

"Thank you, Cresseida."

"Of course. Now speaking of hunger, how about we go in for some dinner? I think there will be lots of fresh crab", she grins.

"I'd like that", Briar responds, getting up and dusting the sand off of herself. "Hey, Cress?"

"Yes?"

"Do your workers catch lots of crab?"

"Oh, yes. Enough for the restaurants, fish markets, and private households. More than just crab too."

Nibbling on her lip, Briar appears to think. "Do you think there is any way we could bring some to the mortal villages? Maybe anonymously so they will eat it; I know many are avidly against fae still."

Cresseida wraps an arm around her. "That sounds very kind, Briar. I suppose we can ask Tarquin, but as you said, they hate Fae, and I'm not sure anyone would risk their life if a kindness would not be returned."

"What if I can find someone who could do the drop-offs?"

"Then I'd have you back when you speak with the High Lord about it."

Briar grins. "Thank you!"

"Don't thank me quite yet.", she laughs.