Azriel paces back in forth in the hallway, his rough hands nervously wringing one another as he gets more and more anxious by the second. Eris. It had to be Eris. Why the fuck did his sweet Gwyn's father have to be Eris?

Just as he is about to storm back into the living area, he sees a familiar head of copper hair turn the corner and an encouraging smile grace his mate's lips. Azriel rushes over to her and scoops her into his arms, burying his nose in her neck lovingly. "I was worried."

"You don't have to worry, Az. I know you two have never gotten along, and it has to do with Mor and that history, but now you know he never did anything nefarious. He wouldn't hurt me. It was actually a nice conversation. He's my father, and not liking the outcome won't change it. Please will you try to at least be neutral? For me?"

Az breathes her in deeply and nods, pressing a kiss against the side of her neck. "I'll try my best. For you, mate."

Gwyn grins and cups his face in her hands, kissing his lips lovingly. "I love you, shadowsinger. And he won't sway me against that either. You're my mate, my perfect equal. Always."

"I love you too, priestess", he winks.

They make their goodbyes to the Inner Circle and winnow back to the House of Wind library balcony; the one nearest her bedroom. Az strokes his fingers over the top of her smooth hand. His heart always aches when he drops her off at the library, wishing the construction of their home was already complete so he wouldn't have to spend another night away from her.

Gwyn notes his solemn expression and strokes her thumb over his cheek. "I had a most lovely evening, Az. You're a good dancer. I'm quite clumsy in dancing...I think I make a better warrior than dancer, despite my flowing dress which makes me feel like a princess."

"You're a princess to me", he murmurs, pulling her close into his arms. "Actually, more of a Queen in my eyes."

Gwyn giggles softly and strokes the lapel of his suit. "You clean up very nicely, you know", she teases.

"I don't mind a good suit when it's necessary. Though I do prefer casual clothing."

"Well, you look very regal and handsome tonight."

'Just tonight?", he smirks.

She chuckles. "Every night, but especially all dolled up. I don't know, your eyes have been shining a bit brighter today. I'd almost say you love a good celebration if I didn't know you were so introverted."

"Maybe I just enjoy a good celebration when I have a gorgeous female on my arm. A gorgeous female who happens to be my Cauldron-blessed mate."

Pushing up on her tip-toes, Gwyn kisses him soundly. Azriel leans down to make her more comfortable, tenderly holding her against him as they claim each other's mouths with fervor. They pull away after a moment and Gwyn hugs him tightly.

"Hey, Az?"

"Yes, Gwyn?"

"What would you say if I wanted to try spending the night with you?", she whispers.

His molten hazel eyes widen as he pulls away a few inches to look into her teal ones. "What?"

"I-I want to spend the night with you. Coming back to my room here in the library every night...it...it doesn't quite feel like home anymore because I end up missing you. Because you aren't here. Not only does the bond yearn for you close to me, but I do too. It's become less of a home without you being close. So I was wondering if I could try spending the night in your arms", she asks, blushing profusely.

Azriel stares into her eyes lovingly, in awe of this female and her gentleness. "Gwyn, you know the moment you are ready, I am ready. That goes for anything. There is nothing more I'd want than to hold you in my arms all night. I truly mean that. I've spent...gods, my whole existence just wishing and praying that one day I'd have someone to hold who I could love and who would love me back and—and you are the biggest gift to me."

Gwyn tears up imagining his loneliness. She knows the type of horrible thoughts that run through his head about himself when he's feeling down and realizes those thoughts have most likely plagued him forever, his trauma from childhood bringing about a feeling of unworthiness.

"You are a gift to me too, Az. Our bond has changed me for the better. Believe me. There are still days where I wonder how I could possibly be good enough to be yours."

Az shakes his head and cups her face, his thumbs tracing her cheekbones. She lifts her hands and places them over his, stroking the scarred skin gently.

"I—How could you possibly think that you aren't good enough for me? Gwyn if anyone is unworthy in this bond, it's me."

"Shh", she hushes him, nuzzling his nose. "I don't want to hear that, hm? I'd like to go to your room and hold you. I'd like to be cozy and content with your company. I don't want you to be self-loathing. I love you and I adore you, and you are perfect to me and for me. I am lucky you're mine, Azriel Erebus. I really am. Now. Let me go and collect some pj's and I'll be right back, hm?"

Azriel nods and sniffs, taking a breath. He slowly drops his hands from her face and his bright eyes follow her as she tosses him a smile over her shoulder, disappearing into the hall towards her room as he waits patiently for her to return.

He stretches his neck and flexes his wings tiredly, all the socializing in the Winter Court draining his energy and making his muscles ache. Within a few minutes, Gwyn returns in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, making her look even smaller than usual. He can't help the chuckle that escapes him.

"What?", he pouts. "Does it look that bad? I just figured we should be comfortable..."

"No, no, I'm sorry. It does look comfortable. You just look er—smaller than you already are."

Gwyn groans. "That's it, I'm changing again."

"No, hey, Gwyn", Azriel says, gently pulling her close and kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry. Come, let's go back to the House, ok?"

"Fine", she huffs softly, wrapping her arms around his neck. He smiles and lifts her into his arms as he dips back out onto the balcony and flies up to the House of Wind level, dropping back onto his feet.

"Here we are", he murmurs, kissing her cheek as he sets her down. Her hand slips into his, her fingers intertwining with his.

"Lead the way, mate", she grins cutely. He blushes and squeezes her hand softly, leading her into the House of Wind; through the kitchen and down the hall, eventually pulling her into his bedroom.

She had seen it before, but this time she is in awe. Not only is it so very 'Azriel', but it all around smells like him. Strongly. Like a crisp frost with a hint of pine. Another new thing courtesy of the mate bond.

Seeing him look a bit shy and out of his depth, Gwyn hugs his middle softly. "I like how your room not only has your utter vibe, but it also has your scent. It's comforting and dark, but in a soothing way. Like how it feels to look at the starry night sky." She rests her chin on his chest and looks up at him, her teal eyes gleaming with adoration and it takes everything inside of him not to cry with just how grateful he is for her. His shadows dart out and play within the strands of her hair and wind around her legs playfully, making him blush more.

Giggling softly as she feels their soft brush, she gives Az a squeeze. "I adore you and love you, too. All of you, I guess."

Az contains his flattered side-smile and nuzzles his face into her neck, holding her close. "It's been a long evening. I must be getting old, as I ache all over from the effort of socializing. Not to mention all the dancing we did. I'm in pretty good shape as a warrior though. I'm shocked you aren't sore too."

Gwyn runs her fingers through his hair soothingly and closes her eyes, bringing her face to nuzzle his neck as well. "I am, but I'm more of an ambivert. It doesn't drain me as quickly as it does you, Az. I understand. Why don't you go change. I'm sure that suit is starting to get a bit uncomfortable, no matter how good it looks on you. I'll be here."

He nods slowly and slips the suit coat off, shimmying it off of his wings. Gwyn chuckles.

"You know, I always wondered how in Cauldron's name you got dressed and undressed with those wings."

He snorts a bit. "Dressing is a bit harder than undressing, admittedly. There are small bindings around the base of my wings, like flaps. They're hard to notice unless you look closely. Not the easiest to maneuver, but it's not like I have a choice."

"Is there um—can I help you then?", she asks, her cheeks turning a bright red. "Just...you said you were a bit achy so I'm sure you don't want to reach for the snaps or whatever..."

Azriel raises an eyebrow a bit but clears his throat. "Sure, if you're curious." He sits down on the edge of the bed, his back to her in his formal white button-down. She sits and moves close to his wings, almost scared to touch around them.

"Don't be scared, Gwyn. I'm not that fragile, I promise. My wings are strong. They need to be, to fly", he chuckles deeply.

She lets out a breath and nods. "Right, sorry. I-I just don't want to hurt you. I know wings are er, very sensitive."

"Yes, they are", he says softly. "But it's okay."

Gwyn nods slowly and looks closely, seeing the bindings of the fabric around the base of his wings. Reaching forward, she nimbly undoes them and pulls the fabric away from the skin of his back. He smiles and unbuttons his cuffs then the front of his shirt, slipping it off in what looks like tatters.

"That looks...very complicated to put back together. Is that how all your shirts look?"

"Formal ones, yes. But t-shirts just have wing slats with two simple bindings near the top. They are generally looser and not as stiff anyway."

"What about your armor? Sorry. I guess I've just never really thought of it."

"It's alright. It's a good question. My armor is designed for Illyrians. It's infused with Fae magic to conform to my body, so when I attach the front plates of the armor to my chest, the scales extend until they cover me, and they naturally go around my wings. Cassian's are the same."

"Wow", she murmurs. "That sounds cool."

Azriel laughs gently and gets up, smiling at her. "I suppose it is. The scales act as a weapons repellent. As in, it would take a few good blows to pierce it."

She shudders. "I don't want that to ever happen to you."

"Nobody does, Gwyn."

"Right. I know...but, I love you, y'know?"

"I do know", he replies, flashing her a sexy smile. "I love you, too."

Her heart skips a beat in her chest as she realizes his full bare chest and abs are on display since she helped take his shirt off. She swallows hard as she stares.

Azriel clears his throat shyly. "Gwyn?"

"Hmm?", she blinks rapidly and looks up at his face.

He smirks softly. "You okay?"

Her entire face and neck flush pink in embarrassment. "Yes...I-I'm...I'm fine."

"I'm flattered. If you were wondering."

She bites her lip and turns redder, looking away. "I'm sorry, you just—you're...", she trails off then looks up at him again. "You're beyond gorgeous, Azriel."

Dipping his head, flattered, a pink tinge blooms on his own cheeks. "Thanks. As long as... never mind."

Gwyn looks him directly in the eye before she stands up and goes over to him. Her hands tremble slightly as she places her palms on his chest, gazing up at him. "All of you is gorgeous. Yes, even your hands. There will be no thinking that they diminish how handsome you are. That's absolutely not true." Stroking his shoulders, she slides her hands down his arms to clasp in his hands before bringing them to her lips and kissing both.

His breath hitches a bit, and he swallows hard. His hands flinch as if he desperately wants to pull them away, but she holds tight, kissing up the cars to his wrists.

"G-Gwyn..."

"You're beautiful", she affirms, looking up at him. "I promise you. I love you. I love you, Azriel. Scars and all."

Tears fill his eyes as he desperately tries to hold them back. "I know you say that, and while I appreciate it, it's still—it's difficult to hear and even more difficult to believe. But I am trying. I promise."

"I know", she whispers, pressing a soft kiss to his skin, over his heart.

Taking a shuddering breath he turns away and grabs sweatpants from his drawer. "Uhh...I should change in the washroom. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Gwyn smiles empathetically. "You can change here. I'm your mate, Az. I'm not going to run away because you change pants."

He blushes and nods, quickly ridding himself of the suit trousers. He has navy boxers underneath that she barely peeks at before he throws the sweatpants on. "Would you prefer I wear a shirt?"

"What do you usually do?"

"You don't want me to do what I usually do."

Gwyn turns red and wrings her hands. "Right. Um, you don't need a shirt if you don't usually wear one. Plus, I'd assume it's more comfortable to sleep without one on, with your wings and all. Which only brings up more questions. Does it hurt you to lie on your back with your wings there?"

Azriel chuckles lightly and joins her on his bed, squeezing her knee lovingly. "No, it doesn't hurt as long as I don't roll over onto one. You don't want an elbow digging into your wing, that's a bit painful. So when I do need to turn, I have to sit up and turn and sort of move them back behind me."

"That sounds inconvenient."

"Oh, it is. As much as I absolutely love flying and the freedom it gives me, I don't think I'll ever enjoy being Illyrian. And yeah, it's great to have wings to fly but when you try and do anything else, they get in the way. It's a pain. Not to mention how much they hurt in the winter from the bitter cold. Makes me jealous of Rhys in that way. He can just choose when to have them, it's not very fair."

"I can't imagine...I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"No, but...I don't like that you don't like being you. Because I adore you as you are."

Az flares his wings behind him and lies on his side, patting the space next to him on his bed. She crawls up and lies down, smiling at him. "I adore you too. You are resilient, strong, and beautiful. You make me feel whole and put together. You are the glue that keeps me from falling apart. You're the light to my darkness and the airiness to my heaviness. The fun to my brooding. Everything I could possibly need and more, Gwyneth Berdara. You came out of nowhere and caught me off guard with how determined you are, how incredible you are. And our mate bond came when I needed you most. I had just about given up thinking that I could ever possibly be happy, or that I even deserved to be. I thought watching my brothers would be my eternal punishment."

"Oh, Az", Gwyn tears up. "You have nothing, nothing to be punished for." She cups his face. "You hear me? You deserve every single happiness in this crazy world. And if I give you even an ounce of it, I'll be the happiest female alive."

He sniffs and leans into her touch, his eyes fluttering closed at her warmth. "You're the sole reason for any happiness I have, Gwyn. I was a shell before you ignited me."

"I could say the same for you, Az. You saved me", she whispers. "In my darkest hour, you swooped in and rescued me. And then when you took time out of your day to give me extra dagger lessons and sparring sessions...you had a big hand in bringing me back to life too. It was a gigantic job", she says softly. "I was a shell too. For a long time. There are still parts of me that I've kept hidden...since my sister died. Parts of me that I don't feel that I am worthy of enjoying without her", she chokes up. "Parts of me that I've refused to be for so long that if I indulged I think I'd feel as if I was betraying her. I know it sounds ridiculous because she was the best sister in the world and the intelligent part of me knows she would never fault me for wanting to experience it again but—I don't know how I can without her."

Azriel pulls her close softly and kisses the top of her head as he cuddles her into his arms and chest. Gwyn clings to him and takes deep breaths.

"You know I'm part nymph...", she whispers.

"Yes, I do."

"But you don't know that I have another form. I can shift into my nymph form", she admits. "Catrin and I loved swimming so much. We had so much fun, and it was so freeing. We would race or just relax in the water...she was the better swimmer, as she had the slightly webbed hands for it. Regardless, it was nice and I loved it so much."

Azriel strokes her hair gently. "You haven't gone swimming since she died, have you?", he murmurs.

She shakes her head and sniffles, a couple of tears falling down her cheeks. "I've tried to get over it and force myself to. But every time I go near the river, I freeze up and I cry, and I can't stop thinking of her and how she doesn't get to live and enjoy it. Then my guilt eats up any courage I had going there."

"I'm so sorry, that must be so hard, Gwyn."

"She was my everything. My twin sister, my best friend, my guardian. It doesn't feel right to swim without her", she cries weakly.

He brushes his lips across her forehead and rubs circles on her back soothingly. "You'll get there. Slowly but surely. Just like with Ramiel. I believe in you, and I know you. You have the resolve and the drive to get past this grief. You are the rock on which the surf crashes, remember? Nothing will break you. You will break this wall. You have the ability to—to leave Catrin with peace. I may not have known her, but I'm assuming she loved you as much as I do, so I know she wouldn't want you to be so hurt and torn up because of this. She would want you to be happy and to live your life to the fullest and enjoy every moment. Because that's what I would want if anything happened to me."

Gwyn cries into his chest and hugs him close. "I'll need your help. Y-You helped me get through training most days. I know this seems stupid and not as big of a deal in comparison but I completely freeze. Maybe if you're there with me...I don't want you to be freaked out by my appearance when I shift though, either." She hangs her head sadly.

Az places two fingers under her chin lightly and tips her gaze up to his. "Gwyneth Berdara, there is not one single thing that could scare me away from you. Not one. I know what nymphs look like, and even without seeing you in that form, I know you must be breathtaking." He places his forehead on hers. "You're you, Gwyn. You're my mate. My world. In any form and in any life. I promise you."

"How are you so wonderful?", she murmurs as he strokes the tears from her face.

"Because my mate shares some of her wonderfulness with me, I suppose. And she has an unlimited source of it."

"Oh, hush", she sniffs, blushing.

"Ah, it's true."

"Azzzz."

He smiles and Gwyn nuzzles his nose. "I love you. I'm glad we make each other feel better about ourselves."

"Well, mates are equals. Most likely in the good and the bad. But we will fix each other, and we will encourage each other and we will overcome whatever has to be overcome together."

"Together", she agrees, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him passionately.

"Mmph...mmm", he hums against her lips, holding her close as he returns the kiss with equal passion. They pull away moments later, equally breathless.

Az strokes her freckled and flushed cheek, his eyes a bright amber. "Perfect", he murmurs.

"So are you", she returns.

He leans in and kisses her cheek softly. "We should get some sleep. Don't worry, I won't go anywhere until you wake, I promise."

She yawns and blushes. "That's very sweet of you."

"I'm setting a precedent for the rest of our life. It's important." Grabbing the blanket, he pulls it over them and spoons her into his bare chest.

"Mmh, I like the sound of that", she mumbles, her eyes drooping closed.

"Good." Azriel strokes her hair lightly until she's completely asleep, a serene look on her face.

He can't help but watch over her for a while, not wanting to take his eyes off her, but his eyes slowly begin to droop as well. Keeping a gentle hold on her, he finally allows his head to hit the pillow and he falls into a deep slumber, holding his perfect mate in his arms.