"Elain, I've got to go in about in about an hour", Lucien mumbles on her lips, tugging her closer despite his words.

Elain tangles her fingers in his hair and smiles softly on his lips. "Mhh, I don't like when you go, but our promise for tonight hopefully assures that you'll be back."

She gazes at him with her big, brown doe eyes. They sparkle mischievously and Lucien swallows hard, absolutely adoring this new side of Elain. The one that's out of her shell and happy. Being the one that was chosen by the Cauldron to make her happy is the biggest gift he ever could have been given.

"Elain, I am a mated male. You are mine and I am yours. There is not one version of us where I wouldn't return until I've been slain. You are my everything now. One that I have been waiting centuries for. My saving grace."

"Don't say that", she whispers. "Don't even entertain the thought that you'd ever be killed. I'd protect you. I know my family doesn't believe I have a strong, fighter-like bone in my entire being, but they tend to forget that I am the one who stabbed the King of Hybern through the damn throat to protect Nesta. I may not prefer violence, but I have no qualms about becoming murderous when my loved ones are in danger. Not now that I've grown. We are equals, which means that as much as you protect me, I protect you as well. Whether it be bodily, or simply in name and honor."

Lucien tugs her against him and claims her mouth, hungrily and desperately, earning a squeak of surprise and a hum of approval as she returns the kiss just as fervently. "Elain", he murmurs breathily.

"Lucien", she whispers against him.

"I will be home tonight. I won't let you down." He pecks her lips again sensually before kissing her forehead. "And I know how fierce you can be. I don't feed into that silly idea that you are weak or fragile. Kindness and gentleness is not a weakness, it's a strength in and of itself too."

She wraps her arms around him and lies her head on his chest. "It may be crazy, but I'm nervous."

"For tonight?"

"Yes..."

"My sweet, you know there is nothing I would do if you weren't ready."

"I know that, Lucien." Her eyes meet his again. "It's just—", she swallows hard. "What if I am not good enough?"

He scoffs lightly. "There is no possibility of that happening."

"You don't know that. I-I've only...I mean—with Graysen", she grimaces a bit.

"I'm well aware, Elain."

"I've never been good enough for anything in my life", she admits. "I've never been the hero like Feyre or the warrior like Nesta. And as a kid...I was either sucked into my mother's ploy to trade me for wealth, or I was kept on a tight leash while being ignored." She takes a deep breath and nuzzles his chest. "I wasn't always this rigid and frilly."

"I don't believe that bullshit about you never being good enough. It's the people around you that made you feel that way, it's not the truth. And you know that I already know you're not some dress-up doll, I've seen you get your hands dirty."

Elain intertwines their fingers and nods weakly. "I witnessed and went through a lot as a kid. Compared to Nesta it was nothing, and then Feyre...I've—I've been a shell for a very long time trying to cope. I'm still not one hundred percent sure who I am, Lucien. I'm figuring it out. Myself, my powers, my...fae-ness."

Lucien tips her chin with his free hand and nuzzles his nose on hers lovingly. "And I will help you find yourself. I will support you and cheer you on, my sweet."

Her eyes flutter closed. "You've quickly become my rock, Lucien. I wish I gave you a chance sooner. I'm sorry. I guess that was just another mistake or undershot on my part."

"No, we went at our own pace and that's okay. We ended up where we were supposed to, hm? With one another." He gently pulls her over to her bed and sits, patting the space next to him.

She sits and leans on his side. "I've been having flashbacks of my childhood. Things I wished I could forget. Probably due to my powers."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Stroking his hand, her eyes tear up a bit. "I'm sure that's not what you'd like to be doing when you've got to go in an hour."

"Elain."

"I know", she sighs. "I know, you love me and you'd do anything for me."

"Exactly", he smiles and presses a kiss to her cheek. "I really do love you."

"I love you too."

"So talk to me. It helps to get things off your chest."

"Right. Well..." she starts. "Let me show you", she whispers. "My powers are growing, and I think if I concentrate, I can show you."

Lucien bows his head to her and closes his eyes, innate trust in his mate.

She takes a breath and places her fingertips to Lucien's temples as they glow a luminous gold.

{ Dirt and dust scuffs up small white flats, staining the sides brown as little seven-year-old Elain clutches her book to her chest. Looking around cautiously, she makes her way over to her favorite large tree in the back of their Manor and begins to climb with onlyslight difficulty. Getting close to the top, she finds her favorite thick branch and swings her legs over it, leaning against the trunk, swinging her small legs happily as she opens her schoolbook to finish in peace. Her long waist-length braid hangs down her back tied with pink satin weaved through the strands.

She can vaguely hear stern shouts through the slightly open window at the top of the house, followed by cries and pleas that she can't quite make out. Knitting her brow, she tries harder to focus on the words on the page, trying not to let the anxiety and fear run through her over the possibility that she could be caught there and punished by their mother.

Glancing over to the drive, she wonders when Father will get home. It's been over a week this time, and she is beginning to miss him. Though she doesn't spend much time with him, the home is usually calmer when he's there. Which isn't too often. However, he always brings her and Nesta and little Feyre gifts when he returns. Something she always looks forward to.

She nibbles her lower lip lightly and tries again to focus on her book, attempting to block out the yelps and whimpers coming from their grandmother's room quickly becoming fruitless. Leaning deeper against the rough bark, tears spring to her eyes, trying not to think of her sister's cries. She may not know exactly what goes on in that room, but she knows by the cries that it can't be anything good.

Needing to get her reading done, she floats her eyes over the words on the pages, barely registering what she's supposed to. After turning a few pages, their house becomes silent again and she breathes a bit easier. That is until she hears her name. Her muscles lock up in fear and she looks around, her shoulders sagging in relief when she sees her big sister Nesta at the base of the tree beneath her, her arms hugging her body, but a bitter look on her face.

"El!', she scolds in a shouting whisper. "Elain, come down from there at once! Hurry."

It's always best to do as her big sister says, so Elain scrambles down the branches, almost slipping twice but catching herself before dropping down onto her feet and facing nine-year-old Nesta.

"Nes, I was just reading", she whines.

"Stop your whining, you know Mother hates that. You're lucky I'm the one who found you here." Glancing down at Elain's shoes, Nesta's eyes go cloudy. "Your shoes! Elain, you know better", she bites out.

"I'm sorry, Nes", she whispers sadly.

Nesta sighs and grabs her arms gently. "Come, we have to clean you up before she notices. Hurry."

"Okay", she replies, allowing herself to be ushered to their large washroom. Nesta grunts as she lifts Elain onto the counter, tears stinging her eyes from the pain. Grabbing a washcloth, she makes quick work of soap and water, washing all the dust and scuffs off of Elain's shoes as quickly as she can. Elain watches her and folds her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry, Nessie", she whispers sadly.

Nesta sighs and glances up at her, gently pinching her cheek. "It's not me you have to be sorry to, El. You know how upset Mummy gets when you're messy. She'd take your toys away and my books. I don't want either of us to lose anything."

"Okay, Nes."

Nesta swallows and wipes her eyes. "There. All clean. Now wash your hands and scrub under your fingernails."

Elain nods and hops off the counter with help, washing her hands as instructed. Nesta takes a shaky breath and hugs her from behind. "I'm not mad at you, El. Okay?"

Elain smiles cutely. "I'm not mad at you too, Nes."

"Good." Nesta kisses her cheek and helps her dry her hands. "Now, you need to finish your reading. How about we go sit at the desk and try, hm?"

"Okay."

As they come out of the washroom, their mother is there. Her classic sneer is on her face and her red-heeled foot is tapping on the tile annoyedly.

"Nesta Archeron", she states bitingly.

Nesta immediately slumps a bit and hesitantly meets her eyes. "Yes, Mother?"

"Grandmother said you were very rude to her today. That she had to teach you a lesson. Is that true?"

Nesta's lip twitches, wanting to yell the truth but in lieu of being punished more, she holds her tongue. "Yes, Mother."

"Did you learn your lesson?" She grabs Nesta's hair and pulls it up hard. Nesta lets out a whimper and stands up taller to compensate for the pain. "You do not slump. You know better. You're not some worthless peasant. You stand up straight and carry yourself with grace."

"Yes, Mother."

"Good." She finally lets go of her hair and fusses with Nesta's collar and smooths the shoulders of her dress, stepping back and assessing her look. "At least your hair stayed mostly pinned today", she mutters. "I suppose you'll do eventually. Your looks will get better with age, hopefully. You'll score a rich husband one day, Nesta. As long as you act gracefully and learn how to woo a man, he will fall for you. We will just pray your looks get better. Those cheeks will have to get thinner and you'll have to purse your lips. But once you have nice cheekbones and learn how to pout properly you'll improve."

"Yes, Mother."

"And you, Miss Elain", she directs her attention to her middle daughter, grabbing her face in her hand. "You and your stunning beauty will be a real catch. You will keep our status strong and obtain a very very elite man. My little beauty. Twirl."

Elain twirls her dress and flashes her mother the smile she loves to see. It earns her a smile back and a pat on the head. "Now go finish your schoolwork. The cooks are working on dinner, and I want you both finished by the time it's ready."

"Yes, Mother."

"Yes, Mummy."

Nesta grabs Elain's hand and brings her to the work desk, handing her the schoolbook she needs. She can't help but glance back at their youngest sister, five-year-old Feyre, playing with her toys in the sitting room without a care in the world, her nanny sitting there to occupy her if she gets bored.

Nesta adjusts Elain's nightcap and tucks her in before shutting off the light and cracking the door before going across the hall, climbing into her own bed.

"Goodnight, Nessie!"

"Night, El", she mumbles back.

Elain pulls her plush bunny close, one of the gifts she received from her father, and her favorite plushie. She yawns and nuzzles her pillow, her eyes fluttering closed. But as she's about to fall asleep she hears quiet sobbing coming from the other room. Her eyes open and she turns on her side toward the noise.

Grabbing her bunny, she peeks outside of her room to either side of the hall. It was clear. Padding across the thin hall, she slips into Nesta's room and slowly makes her way over to her bed, placing her small hand on her sister's shoulder.

"Nessie?", she whispers. "Are you crying?"

Nesta goes a bit rigid and chokes out a sob. "No."

Elain climbs into her bed with her, cuddling close. Nesta hugs her close and cries weakly, tears rushing down her face. Elain stays quiet, having gotten quite used to this recently. At least she can help her sister fall asleep eventually by cuddling her, despite never really knowing why she cries so much.

Elain sighs after her mother leaves to go to the shop. They had their very long etiquette lesson and she was so tired of being prim and proper. Hearing a shout from upstairs, Elain looks towards the winding banister. She knows she isn't allowed up there while Nesta is having her own lessons, but she can't help but be curious as to why there I always so much shouting going on.

She slowly makes her way up the stairs, careful not to make any noise.

"Ellie! What're you doing?", a soft giggle comes from behind her.

Elain blows a piece of hair out of her face and turns to sit on the stair she is currently on, her baby sister Feyre staring up at her curiously with her big blue eyes. Blue eyes. Like Nesta. Elain was always jealous and saw her brown ones as plain and boring.

"I was just going to the restroom, Fey."

"Oh", her little mouth pouts. "Come play after?", she grins, her freckles seeming to dance on her chubby face.

Elain rolls her eyes but goes down and kisses her cheek. "Okay. I'll play after."

"Yay!", Feyre skips off to grab her toys, and Elain nibbles her lower lip. She knows lying is wrong, but she couldn't risk Feyre trying to sneak up there with her. She's too loud and giggly.

Making her way to the top of the stairs to the third level, she sneaks down the hallway as silently as possible, voices coming from the "big" room.

"I will shape you into a classy lady if it's the death of me, you little brat! Now try it again. I'm sick of your failure."

Getting to the threshold, Elain looks through the small crack in the door. Nesta is having her dance lessons at the moment. She sees her stumble a little bit with one of the fancy moves. Their grandmother gets up and hits her in the back hard with her cane. Elain covers her mouth hard to stop the gasp from escaping her. Nesta yells out in pain and lowers to her knees, covering her face as she gets three more whacks.

"Conditioning is important", her grandmother retorts. "If you don't get punished for getting it wrong, you'll never have the motivation to get it right. Now get up and stop weeping like a baby. Dear, God, I thought your etiquette lesson yesterday with the spiteful mouth on you was bad, but this is just as horrific. Keep it up and you'll be the most worthless female in the village."

Nesta trembles hard as she struggles to her feet. Elain notices dark red welts on her hand as well and tears in her eyes. "I-I can't."

"What did you say to me?"

Nesta chokes out. "I can't, grandmother. My muscles hurt."

"You insolent brat. I said get up. You will do what I say!" she gets up and grabs her cane and Nesta immediately tries to shield herself.

"Please, don't!"

"Then DANCE. Now. And do it right."

Tears rush down Elain's face and her body trembles in anger and sadness for her sister. She knew their grandmother was cold and distant, but she had never imagined this. Their mother knows about it too, which makes Elain's world crumble. She has absolutely no idea what to do. If she tries to stop it, will she be beaten too?

Her breaths come hard and uneven as she trembles in worry. Something inside her tells her that if she goes into that room and intervenes, she will only make it worse for Nesta. So against everything inside her small form, she slinks back down the stairs, wiping her tears with her sleeve and sniffling.

Feyre bounces over to her, her slightly wavy hair flowing behind her. As the only one of them who gets to keep her hair down and roam free before schooling, Elain can't help but wish she was five again.

"Can you play dollies now?"

Elain sighs and looks at her baby sister. "I guess so."

Feyre pouts softly. "Are you sad?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Elain thinks for a minute. She knows she can't tell her the real reason because it will only scare her and she's little. "I just am."

"But why?"

"I don't know, okay? Let's just play." Elain takes Feyre's hand and leads her to the toy room. Feyre's nanny (the same woman who used to be hers too before school) smiles at them hand in hand as she tidies the room, leaving out what Feyre had most likely requested.

Their mother returned shortly after that with shopping bags. Elain knew it was more clothing and jewelry for herself, maybe a dress or two for her and Nesta.

That night, their father walks through the door. Feyre hops up and squeals, tackling his legs. "Daddy!" He scoops her up with one arm and peppers her in kisses. "There's my little Feyre. How are you, darling?"

"Good, daddy!"

He grins and places her back on her feet. Elain hugs his side. "Hi, daddy."

"Hey, El! I've got gifts, don't worry." He smiles and pats her head, looking over to Nesta standing at the doorway, stiff as a board.

"Nesta", he smiles. "How have you been, darling?"

"Welcome home, Father", she states, her eyes dull. Elin doesn't blame her for not being cheery after what she witnessed this morning.

Her father's eyes narrow a bit. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Father."

He goes over to her and gently tips her chin up to look into her eyes, his jaw clenching. "Is your mother home?"

"She's upstairs", Elain pipes up.

He nods and presses a kiss to Nesta's forehead. "You three stay here. I need a word with your mother and then I will come back down here and give you all your presents. How does that sound?"

"Presents!", Feyre squeals excitedly. Their father chuckles softly and looks back at Nesta, then to Elain.

"I have something different for you this time, Miss Elain." Leaning down, he kisses her cheek. "But I think you'll enjoy it."

"No plushie?", her face falls.

"No. Not this time. But I promise it's something exciting. Now. I'll be back", he says, making his way upstairs.

Nesta sits slowly, and Elain notices that she doesn't lean on the back of the chair, her back most likely still in pain. Feyre skips around energetically awaiting her gift.

"Aren't you excited that Daddy is home?", Elain asks Nesta.

Nesta looks out the window, avoiding her gaze. "Why? He's just going to leave again and again and again and again, Elain. My friend Clare's dad works in the village, and he's home all the time after work. Every day."

"Yeah, but our dad travels. It's exciting! One day I'm going to travel too. Right to the continent. I'll get to see all the vendors and merchants and goods as he does."

Nesta scoffs. "You won't be going anywhere, Elain. You'll be married to a man from the village and raising children of your own."

Elain's face falls. "Well, maybe I can travel with my family."

"Keep dreaming, El."

Their father and mother emerge down the stairs, angry looks on both of their faces. Nesta just rolls her eyes.

As Elain would learn from Nesta when they're older, as much as their father had tried to defend her from what her grandmother did, which is what he would do when their parents would argue, nothing ever changed because once he left, she'd be back to her abuse. Their mother too. It didn't help that they would usually make up by nightfall and then they retire to their bedroom for parents' time. Which clearly meant fornication, though they didn't know that at the time, clearly.

Their father changes his expression and grins, picking up his large satchel. "Alright, gifts time!", he exclaims. "For my lovely Nesta." He takes out a small velvet box and hands it to her, grinning.

Nesta opens it slowly. It's a beautiful platinum necklace that looks like small swirling flames, encrusted with two diamonds. She blushes and holds it between her fingers. "Thank you, father."

"You're a big girl now, I thought you'd enjoy your own jewelry. I saw that and I thought of you. You have a fire inside your soul as the eldest. You are strong and burn brightly. You are determined and intelligent."

She lets a small smile grace her face. "Thanks."

"For Ellie", he grins as Elain runs up to him happily. "My pretty flower." He reaches into his satchel and takes out ten packets of flower seeds. Elain takes them and her brow crinkles.

"They are flower seeds. You can grow your own pretty flowers, El."

Elain gasps and stares at the pictures of the beautiful flowers on the front of the packets, grinning. "Thanks, daddy!"

"Of course, sweetheart."

"And for my baby girl, Feyre", he chuckles as she tackles him and he lifts her onto his knee. She eagerly digs into his bag and pulls out a large coloring book and some markers.

"My imaginative little one. I know you like coloring."

Feyre squeals happily and throws her small arms around their father. He grins and cuddles her close.

Nesta sits at the desk, doing her homework quietly. She's barely spoken a word that day and had been walking more slowly than usual. Elain bites her lip and scoots closer to her.

"What is it, Elain?"

"You cry a lot", she whispers.

Nesta sets her jaw and raises her chin defiantly. "I'm fine."

"I hate grandmummy", Elain mutters.

Nesta's breathing speeds up a bit. "Don't you dare say that. Do you understand, Elain? Don't ever", she growls angrily.

Elain looks down. "Cuse she'll hit me...like you?"

Nesta's lip curls to keep it from trembling. "Elain Archeron how do you know about that?"

She swallows and raises her head slightly to meet Nesta's steely blue eyes with her warm brown ones. "I saw", she whispers. "Yesterday. I-I went to the bathroom and I heard you yelling so I peeked..."

"Oh, El", Nesta groans. "Don't you tell a soul. You don't want that happening to you."

Elain looks down at her hands again. "You're hurt?"

"I'll be just fine. I always am", she replies, squirming and groaning quietly in pain. }

"Oh, Elain", Lucien murmurs, pulling her close into his embrace. "It had to have been hard watching and knowing and never being able to tell."

He swallows and his mind wanders to Eris for the moment, wondering if he was just ignorant as a child. Eris was older than him and much more prone to getting a beating from Beron. When he did something wrong back then, Eris would usually take the fall for it. It doesn't take away everything his eldest brother has done since, however. He did watch his other brothers try to kill him and dragged Feyre by the hair. Though Eris is under Beron's thumb if he wants to take over one day.

Lucien strokes Elain's soft hair and kisses her lovingly. She eagerly kisses back and winds her arms around his neck, her fingers in his lush ruby hair.

"Mhh, Lucien."

"Yes, my sweet mate?"

She pulls back and stares at his face, her hands moving to cup his face. Lucien shies away slightly, always self-conscious about the jagged scar across the left side of his face, and the mechanical eye that resides there.

"Hey...don't shy away from me", she whispers. "I told you before, you are a gorgeous male. It's a sort of cruel beauty. It's a brutally intimidating thing. But it makes you look even stronger and a force to be reckoned with."

Lucien blushes a bit and looks away. Elain turns his gaze towards her again.

"Look at me. I'm not intimidated. But I'm secretly glad that some others are. It gives you...more sex appeal." She turns bright red and chews her lip shyly.

Lucien's russet eye glimmers. "You think so?"

"Oh, absolutely. Your look is so unique that it's...it's stunning. You are beautiful, Lucien Vanserra. Completely and wholly. Not only your outside look, but your heart too. I've learned that quickly."

Lucien's breath hitches in his throat as he tears up.

"I love you, Lucien. I'm yours. From now until our last days, mate."

He throws his arms around her waist and buries his face into her neck. "You have no idea how many centuries I've been waiting to be loved just once. You happened to me at the worst time in your life and at a troubling time in mine. You happened to me when it was least expected. I've never been so blessed than the day the Cauldron gifted us to one another, despite how long it took us to come to our senses and heal our own hearts from our losses."

Elain places her forehead on his and strokes his cheekbone, tracing his scar lightly. "I know you'll be home tonight. I've just heard the vulnerability in your voice and saw it in your gaze. You carry more love for me than I even deserve."

"No. I carry as much love for you as you need and as you deserve. The past is the past. For both of us. This is our fresh page. Our new chapters, together."

"Yes, it is", she breathes, her eyes wide and an alluring smile gracing her lips. "You'd better get going. Briar will be waiting for her lift to the Day Court."

He chuckles lightly. "That's true. Thesan is a nice kid, but...a bit rigid. I'm hoping she had a good time with Nuan, anyway.

Elain grins. "I have an idea."

"What is your idea, sweet mate?"

"Let me come with you."

"What?"

"Let me come with you. I want to meet Nuan. She's your friend. I want to know your friends, your allies. I want to be an active part of your personal circle. Please?"

"Well, since you said please", he snorts. "Of course you can come. I just never thought you'd enjoy winnowing all over.

"It's hard to get used to and it still makes me really dizzy. But there's nothing better than practice, right?"

"Right", he smirks. "Well, my love. Shall we?" Lucien gets up and bows in a dramatic flourish, holding out his hand. Elain giggles and stands up, taking his hand.

"Winnow away, mate."