Heavy panting and grumbles resound through the room. Vassa shifts, feeling radiating heat at her back as her eyes slip open. Jurian begins to move around a bit, moaning in pain, before he begins to thrash. "No…no make it stop...stop it…stop…stop!", he mumbles loudly.

Vassa sits up and pulls the sheet up to her chest, furrowing her brows.

"Jurian", she whispers in shock, leaning over to shake his shoulder tenderly. He still doesn't wake.

"Jurian!", she says louder, scooting closer and rousing him harder. "Juri!"

He gasps and yells out, flinching away from her as his eyes shoot open, wild and searching in the darkness. "No!", he shouts, jumping out of bed, sheets barely entangled around his waist.

"Jurian, it's me. It's me. It's Vassa", she says softly, reaching her hand out to him.

He pants hard and blinks, turning on a light. "Fuck", he mutters, running his hands over his face. "Vassa...I-I'm sorry."

"Shh...come here", she whispers, holding her arms out.

A lump forms in his throat and he crawls back into bed. Vassa moves close and wraps her arms around him tightly, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. "You don't always have to be strong. Nobody can be. It's not possible. You've been here for me on my bad days, so let me be here for your bad days."

Pulling back, she rests her forehead on his. "I promise I won't let anyone know that the tough general cries sometimes", she smiles beautifully. "But to me, that just makes you human. Which is a beautiful thing to be. Something that I took advantage of, and I wish I hadn't. I hope that this curse can be broken, by if it can't at least I have these nights with you. I don't want to be anywhere else anymore."

Jurian settles into her arms and rests his head on her chest, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay", she says soothingly, stroking his hair. "You seemed really...scared or, I dunno, disgusted."

"I was scared and disgusted the whole time. Hundreds of years stuck in the ring", he whispers. "It was...horrific."

Vassa looks down at him and dips her head, pressing her lips to his. He kisses back slowly and hums softly before they separate.

"It's not easy for me to talk to, and I'd rather not. I know you're here for me but I—you don't need to hear about those terrible things."

Vassa looks at him with a soft, empathetic look, yet her cerulean eyes remain determined. "I'm not breakable just because I'm a woman, Jurian. As I keep reminding you, I am a—"

"A queen. I know", he says softly, bringing her tanned knuckles to his lips. "You have seen many terrible things and been through many terrible things too. It's just that...I don't know if I will ever get out of this hole I'm trapped in. It feels like the darkness is going to swallow me whole every day. Like, everything great that we have right now will get torn away from me like everything else good I've ever lived in my life. Happiness doesn't seek me out, so when it does, I know the other shoe is soon to drop. And as much as I believed I was in love with Miryam back then...I realize now that she was what I thought I needed, but I was clinging to any scrap of love I could get. History has a habit of repeating itself and I think even the Fae do that when it comes to love. Tamlin and Feyre come to mind. And I—I don't want to be presumptuous, but I think you are the one I was truly meant for. If I had died my natural death and had never been tortured and taken and broken and trapped by Amarantha...I would never have lived long enough to meet you. The fact that I did...", he pauses and takes a breath. "I think I was truly meant to meet you, to be with you. As much as I will never believe that I could be the man you deserve, it's crazy that it happened just as it did. I was cursed, and now the woman that was truly meant for me is also cursed. It would be quite the coincidence."

Vassa chuffs a laugh and squeezes his fingers in hers. "I started believing recently that everything happens for a reason. I think you're right that we had to have been meant to find one another. Because it wouldn't make sense for us to both end up how we ended up, here and together if not."

Jurian sits back against the headboard, draping the sheet across his lap. "I know I act fairly normal, but it was actually extremely hard to know how to integrate into society again. It actually took me about a week for me to relearn how to walk, how to speak properly, how to use my limbs. It was humiliating and degrading and Hybern made a show of it for all his soldiers. I was just thankful to be alive, but...it may have seemed to everyone that I came back the same way I had left and that was not the case. Having your soul stuck in your vision and having to witness...all the disgusting things I was forced to witness and hear—you don't forget it. Not over a century of it. I was lucky that I could even remember how to wield a sword. Just breathing seemed like a chore for the longest time, not that I let anyone see. It's still hard to believe that I'm here. In another time—another life. A second life. It gets me messed up. And I know I can be cold and seem unfeeling, but I can't feel too much at once. That's how I'm coping. But you...Vassa...", he cups her face. "You make me feel everything and instead of being overwhelmed, it is glorious. Only with you is it glorious."

She tears up and places her forehead on his. "Coming home to you is the best part of my day, Jurian. I think of you during the day, and you get me through it." She caresses his cheek with her thumb and looks into his dark chocolate eyes. "We will be okay one day. I have to believe that there will come a time when I am no longer cursed, and you are no longer haunted, and we can simply be."

Jurian swallows the lump in his throat and nods slowly. "I can't wait."

Vassa bites her lip shyly. "I would make you my King, you know. Not a consort. I want us to rule together. To make these lands better. To heal our people and their relations with the fae. I want them to know of the friends we have and that there are good faeries too. I want them to know of our crazy, wild, near-impossible love story. And I want them to see our matching thrones and see a beacon of light and hope and strength."

Jurian stares at her in shock and awe, a multitude of feelings flowing through his chest and causing his heart to clench, uneasiness gnawing at his gut. "Y-Your King? Sat beside you? On a throne?"

Vassa's tan cheeks pinken and the freckles seem to dance. "If you wanted to. If you were comfortable with it. I would never force you. I-It would be alright if you chose to be a consort instead. If you aren't comfortable with that much responsibility after everything you've been through..."

"Vassa, I would be whatever you wanted me to be. But right now, I don't think I am in the right headspace to decide that. Nor have we been...seeing...each other for very long. I know that you're my queen, and not only in official title. But I think we need to get past the war first."

She nods and huffs slightly. "Another motherfucking war. When are they going to stop?"

"I don't know, love."

"I don't want it fought over me", she says brokenly. "I don't want anyone getting killed or losing people they love to try and fight for my honor—to end the curse. And I know that isn't the only reason, but it is one of them, and that...it makes my stomach roil."

Jurian intertwines their fingers. "The other queens...they are on the wrong side and there is a huge risk, not only to Prythian but to these lands as well. Hybern may be dead, but his power lives on in those traitorous hags. They need to be stopped. Them, and Koschei, and Beron. It's much, much bigger than your curse, Vassa. I am afraid no war is fought without casualties. But as your general and your lover, I need you to know that if the time comes, I would eagerly lay down my life for yours. On my honor", he murmurs, pressing a flat palm over his heart and bowing his head to her. "Just because I warm your bed does not mean, I will be derelict n my duty. I still work for you; therefore I will protect and honor you. Just as much as I worship and cherish you in bed."

Vassa's face reddens further and her jaw ticks a bit. "Don't fucking say that. Don't you ever fucking say that! I refuse to believe we have come all this way to find one another just for you to perform some sort of fucking martyrdom for me, Jurian Barne. I won't allow it."

"You don't have to allow it. If it comes down to you or me, it's me. No discussion, Queen Vassa Moravia."

She bares her teeth and squeezes his wrists. "Take it back, I don't want that. I order you to take it back."

"No can do, my queen. Honor and duty are what I live by."

"I won't watch you die for me, In any fucking form."

"We can hope it won't come to that."

"It won't because I won't allow it."

"I will do my job. Every part of it if I must."

Vassa's face crumbles slightly but she collects herself. "I can't watch you die for me. I can't."

Jurian presses a kiss to her cheek and her eyes close momentarily. "Wouldn't anyone die for the ones they love to live on?"

Pulling back slightly, tears form in her eyes. "You've been through too much to lose your life again."

"Some would say that it would be righting a wrong. That it's unnatural to be able to live again. That it's unfair to choose who shall. I'm apt to agree with them some days."

"But you are here now, and it wasn't by choice, it just happened. You have the chance to live the way you should have the first time. Happily. I won't have that stolen from you again."

"You are a fierce, brave, and deliciously foul-mouthed warrior, my Queen. I adore that about you. I know you will fight as hard as anyone else; that I don't doubt."

Vassa huffs and shakes her head, before claiming his lips with hers, loving but desperate, plush but rough, angry but needy.

Jurian gives into her, maybe too easily, but he wouldn't want it any other way; him at her utter mercy, just as she had been at his earlier.

.

.

Tamlin makes his way around to the breakfast table, rolling his shoulders and seeming stressed. Lucien had gone back to the Night Court two days ago to prepare for some sort of family dinner with them, and he had begrudgingly wished him good luck. The Mother knows he'd fucking need it. He begins to sit down when Briar comes into the room, clad in a beautiful pale blue silk dress, the sleeves loosely hanging down her shoulders. He can feel his heart leap into his throat, but stuff the feeling down. Making his way over, he pushes the chair out for her to sit, then pushes it back in when she does so.

Briar looks up at him, her expression a mix of surprise and glee as she flashes him a smile that could have him on his knees. "Thank you, Tamlin."

"You're welcome", he mutters, taking his own seat and beginning to eat his food.

"I saw you in your study the other night. I didn't want to disturb you. You seemed to be thinking."

"I was."

"About?"

He gives her a look that seems to say, 'Don't push me', but of course, she doesn't ever seem to heed warning signs.

"You looked...reminiscent. Like something pained you."

He sucks in a breath and slowly lets it out, doing his best not to get irritated at her lack of boundaries or her personal questioning. Yet, he finds himself answering truthfully.

"I was looking at a mural that Lucien told me he had stored, to place where I liked in this new home. I had almost forgotten about it."

"Stored?"

"Yes, there's this—", a flash of annoyance crosses his features and he shakes his head at her humanlike ignorance that reminds him of Feyre.

No. Don't go there.

"There is a pocket realm with magic to store things in. It's uhh, like a closet of sorts. Things go in the way they appear and can come out the same way. It's...some magic thing that isn't really explained, it just happens."

"Oh. Cool. Sorry. Go on."

"It was...something painted by a female I once loved...more than anything. And before you pipe up, no. Not Feyre. But...that seems to be the way of things. Yet I keep falling. Never again. The universe has given me the same lesson and I finally received the message."

"You've lost many people", she whispers.

"Yes. Too many", he murmurs.

"I'm sorry. I know it won't change anything or lift the burden of grief or horror that comes with losing them...but I empathize."

His spring green eyes shift to her face, a split second of agony in them before it's tucked away, most likely to the darkest depths within him.

"If—", she starts, wondering if she should go down that road, but decided to continue. "If you want to talk about her, the girl you loved, I mean, I'm willing to listen. I know that you don't have many people to talk to after what happened with the curse and your Court, and Lucien is busier these days...so...yeah, I-I can me an ear if you just need to talk or vent or...", she was going to say cry but figures that word may tick him off, as he seems to hate being vulnerable. "Or reminisce."

His jaw ticks and he eats silently for a moment, partially hunched over his food, avoiding eye contact. After a few moments, he straightens. "I don't trust you."

Briar looks up from her own plate and blinks. "Oh."

His eyes narrow. " 'Oh?' That's all the response I get for the truth?"

She shrugs. "I don't think anything I can say can force you to place trust in me. Plus, I've hardly earned it yet."

"Earn...", he trails off, looking confused.

"I know that trust isn't given freely. It's earned. I had hoped that after the last few days, I was making progress to earn it and to show you that I would not ever take your hospitality and twist it into something ugly, even if we did end up at odds. I am not Feyre, Tamlin. Not every guest or newcomer is Feyre. Not every clear face is a threat, and not every kind word is a manipulation. But I know that you've been so incredibly traumatized that it's so deeply ingrained in you to be on the alert at all costs because of it. I am sorry that you now default to that, but I can't blame you, and I can't change it in a handful of days."

He looks at her fully now, a glimmer of wonder in his eyes. "I've said it before, but you're incredibly perceptive."

"I am", she nods, popping a grape into her mouth.

Tamlin moves his food around, silence ringing out for a beat before he mumbles. "She died today."

Briar bites her lip. "Oh..."

"Centuries ago, but..."

"It still hurts, I'd imagine."

"Yes. It's a long, convoluted story. But it was partially my fault and...and I don't believe I'll ever quite fully forgive myself for it."

"What was her name?"

His hands flex and he takes a shaky breath. "Nova."

Briar nods slowly, listening, allowing him to take his time.

"Back when my father was High Lord, she was the daughter of an enemy Court. Not many got along in the old generation. I told you how vile my father was. Me and her, we...snuck around. We were lovers for a year. The best time of my life. We were so in love, and we called each other mates. There was um...I don't know, it wasn't a tug like—like...us...but there was something there. We both knew it and felt it. Anyway, one of my equally vile brothers or one of the guards must have seen us when we snuck to the starlight pool one night. She created it for me, for when she couldn't be close."

He closes his eyes and pauses, the memory all too clear and real still.

{ Tamlin paces slightly at the edge of the small pond—their little starlight pool—glancing back in the direction of the Manor periodically, paranoid. The warmth of the breeze flows through his long, blonde locks as he wrings his hands, those dreaded claws getting harder and harder to control by day, but never showed when he thought of her or got to be with her.

The soft flapping of wings catches his ear, and as he turns around, he is tackled from above. A tanned hand clamps over his mouth so he doesn't shout as they land in the tall grass.

She giggles as quietly as possible before removing her hand from his mouth, straddling his hips, her glorious wings flaring out behind her. Tamlin stares up at her in awe, a goofy grin coming to his face.

"Hi."

"Hi, you", she murmurs teasingly, trailing a finger down his chest and into the V of his tunic. She flips her raven hair behind her shoulder and leans down, kissing him sensually.

"Mmm", his deep voice rumbles as he slips his fingers into her hair, kissing back deeply.

Once they pull away for air, she flashes him a grin. "I didn't know if I'd be able to come tonight. Luckily, Father is away on business."

"Unfortunately, mine isn't."

"It's okay. We are glamoured by the pool."

"I know, but I still worry."

"Well stop worrying, and start stripping", she winks, climbing off of him and extending a hand, yanking him to his feet.

Tamlin laughs and kisses her forehead, staring into those starry, violet eyes. Much lighter than her brother's. "I love you", he murmurs. "Darkness and all."

Nova presses up on her tiptoes and clutches his face, bringing her lips to his. "I love you, claws and all." She kisses him soundly then lets him go, chewing her lip and glowering at him seductively as she slips her purple shirt off, then her black leggings, removing clothing until she is completely nude in front of him. Her wings flare in a show of dominance, an air of enticement as her lips curve upward and she turns, walking into the water.

Tamlin watches, lips parted as he removes his shirt in one fell swoop, then unties his breeches, tugging them off.

Nova's gaze rakes over the muscled planes of his body, and his now hardened cock, finally freed of his pants.

She reaches out and smirks, cupping some of the water in her hands.

Tamlin gasps. "You wouldn't."

"I think it could be fun. It'll draw out our wilder, baser side. The side that is tied to the land and to nature. My monstrous side. And your beastly side." She licks her lips, looking over him again. It could be fun to get a little intoxicated and freer. It'll loosen you up and tamp down some of that pesky paranoia you have", she giggles, teasing him.

"You are wild and untamable as it is, my sweet princess of darkness. But if want the beast, I will give you the beast", he smirks, feeling that rumbling awakening inside of him; to take her and take her until they are both screaming and satisfied and slick. And he knows that is exactly what she wants.

Nova is the only one who can tame him, the only one who enjoys when the beast comes to play and gives into it, doesn't fear it. From the claws and the fangs to the green-yellow glow of his irises, she indulges in it, the dark monster inside of her reacting in all the right ways and playing with him like a toy.

Tamlin grins and joins her in the water, gripping her by the hips and hoisting her around him, yanking her flush against his body.

She takes his lower lip in her teeth and drags it slowly, looking into his eyes. "I want to know how the water will affect us. If it will make us even more crazed for one another. I want that. I want every single touch and every single kiss and every single stroke and thrust and taste."

He shudders and a feral, aroused growl escapes his lips. She beams and holds her cupped hands up to his lips. "Drink, my love."

Tamlin keeps his eyes on her as he accepts the offering, sipping the liquid starlight into his mouth and allowing that sparkling feeling to fill him, to raise goosebumps all over his body, heightening his already heightened fae senses to near-unbearable levels. Nova keeps eye contact as well and sips from her hands, a soft, satisfied gasp leaving her lips as the feeling fills her as well.

Not seconds later were they a tangle of limbs; grabbing and gripping and pulling, unable to get close enough to one another as they kissed each other breathless—actually breathless—barely parting when their faces were reddened with the need for oxygen.

He groans, and with one movement, his large cock fills her to the hilt, her moans of pleasure echoing through the sounds of the crickets in the grass. Her nails bite into the skin of his shoulders, arousing him more as he begins to thrust needily, her hips meeting his in a desperate and brutal pace, neither of them unrelenting. Their bodies writhe and buck together as the water sloshes around them, the magic of the starlight water infusing their inner demons and keeping them craving release as it builds and builds and builds.

Her wings wrap around Tamlin's body and the talons scratch her initials into his back, drawing blood. Darkness swirls around them, cooling their sweating upper bodies as her wings grow in size and her nails turn into black talons that nearly match his claws. Her irises darken to shades of wine-purple. She pants hard and moans as he howls her name in ecstasy, his canines elongating and his eyes glowing chartreuse, the beast drawn out to play. His claws punch out and scrape against her plush hips, drawing tiny beads of blood as she whimpers and begs him for more—begs him to mark her the way she had marked him.

Tamlin obliges, growling ferally as his beastly fangs pierce the sensitive flesh of her shoulder and he finds his release, his cock spasming inside her. Nova screams his name within their magicked cocoon as she orgasms with him, her cunt squeezing and fluttering from her high.

He is hers, and she is his. Forever. A promise, and a bond made and tethered in blood; one they had shared once before, weeks ago, on a whim, and had immediately sensed a shift between them. A mating bond—but not. One so incredibly different, so marvelously other, that it was something completely new.

Not just a mate bond. A soul bond—a new concept of their magical world, born of unleashed trust and carnal love. One that would stand the test of time through future deaths and future lives; past the time when the land and their very world itself would wither away into nothingness. A bond so intertwined that they would find one another again in every single lifetime, and every single rendition of their soul. A wholly permanent binding of two beings. An inescapable connection and concept that they had unwittingly created through their joined power for their faerie world. }

His breath hitches at the wild memory and he blinks, clearing his head. He swallows and continues.

"The starlight pool...the one that's down in that little circle under all the willows?"

"Yes...how did you—"

"I don't know", she blushes. "Maybe I heard you talking about it or something."

"I—maybe." He gives her a curious side-eye before continuing.

"Once my father knew about us...he had me tortured for days, telling me to tell him her whereabouts. I knew she was traveling that week with her mother and had planned on joining her in secret. I refused to tell him. I would have given my life not to tell him, but then he threatened my mother. And she had already been through so fucking much and I—Nova's brother who was secretly my friend as well was supposed to meet up with us, and I thought that we could take on my father and brothers and win—and save her. But he ended up not showing. And it was me against all three of them once they had nullified Nova and her mom. I couldn't get to her", he chokes out.

"I-I couldn't fight them on my own. So my father forced me to watch as he killed them, then beheaded them, then ripped their wings off." Tears begin to fall down his face and he roughly wipes them away before getting up from the table. "He then pinned them in his study so that every time I saw them, I'd be reminded of what would happen if I ever befriended or loved a member of a rival Court again. They left me there with their broken bodies and I stayed til sundown. And then I got myself up and buried them in the far end of my mother's gardens."

Briar sniffles and swallows hard. "You were not responsible, Tamlin. The only one responsible was your father, and things didn't fall into place the way they were supposed to. You couldn't fight them all on your own. It wasn't your fault."

He paces and runs a hand through his hair.

Briar shakes her head, a certain fogginess beginning to overtake it. "You play an instrument."

Tamlin whirls around to look at her, taken aback.

"I-I saw you with the case when you were looking at the mural. Did—did you play for her often?"

His eyes go soft, and he looks down. "Not very, no. But I did create a small song her, that I used to play on special occasions. I played it for her a few times."

"Violin?"

"Fiddle."

"Song is special to you then..."

"It is. I haven't played it since she died. Not in public. I haven't even played in general since...since fire night before we went Under the Mountain. I-I was with Feyre. I don't—I can't...", he trails off.

"It's hard to want to play now."

"Yes."

Briar looks up at him softly and nods. "Understandable. I'm sorry again. About losing her, and about your friends, and about Feyre. I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better. But I know that you don't really want me—for a mate. And...you don't trust me because we don't know each other aside from the back-and-forth trauma stories. I'm just...sorry", she sighs and reaches over, squeezing his arm. The tingles shoot through them at the touch and they both shudder shyly.

Tamlin blushes and clears his throat. "It's not your fault, you don't have to apologize. In fact, I should. I know that I can be a dick...I know that I'm closed off and grumpy and cold..."

Briar stares into his eyes and he tries his best not to reel back from the intensity of her pale blue eyes. "No, you fall into a bad place, and it comes out in your words or actions. While it's not great, sometimes we can't help how we feel. I've seen you be open and friendly and chivalrous", she says, motioning to her chair. "You just have to lean into the good feelings more than the bad ones."

He blinks a bit and looks at her hand on his arm. "Like whatever happens when we touch?"

His face immediately reddens as he realizes how his words could be taken. "No I-I didn't mean—"

Briar giggles and lets go of his arm, covering her mouth. "Sorry. Just—you look horrified. It's okay. I didn't take it that way, but I wouldn't mind if you joked around more often."

Tamlin can't help but stare. Her laugh and the way she can be so modest yet cheeky reminds him of Nova. "I guess I'm just out of...", he clears his throat and sighs. "Out of practice...", he pauses, a small glint in his eye. "I walked into that one."

Nova laughs and beams, nudging him gently. "Yes, you did."

He suppresses a laugh and she looks over his face. "Why do you do that?"

Do what?", his brow furrows, handing one of the servants his empty plate and thanking them.

"Stop yourself from laughing or smiling. You either stop yourself or you cover it up."

He looks away and shrugs slightly. "When I feel happiness, things tend to start to go wrong after. I'd rather not...see my Court in any more pain because of me. It's like a chain reaction..."

"Bad things happen because of bad people and bad circumstances. I refuse to believe that the world will come crumbling down because you have moments of lightheartedness. Not for one second. You deserve to feel those moments of happiness after all you've been through. We all do, Tamlin."

He sighs and shrugs again, looking out to the gardens.

"Go", she whispers. "Go mourn them."

He swallows hard and nods. "Right...um, thanks. Will you be fine?"

"No need. And yes, I can manage to eat the rest of my fruit by myself", she smiles sweetly, turning back to her food.

Tamlin nods and watches her for a moment, before turning and walking out of the glass doors that lead to the gardens.

Taking a gulp of fresh air, he makes his way over to the graves that he has marked on the far side of the grounds, surrounded by the plushest rose bushes. He had never told anyone of these graves, though if the time comes in the future where he must be civil with Rhysand, he may tell him; when the time is right he will tell the truth the way Nova requested.

Kneeling in the grass, he looks over the three graves.

Novalyn Astraea. Darcy Astraea. Rosalie Demeteri.

He had them forged by the finest artisans once inheriting the family's fortune; money was no object and he wanted them to have the best markers to remember them by since their deaths were not kind or beautiful in any way.

There are carved stars and swirls on the headstones of Nova and her mother, and carved roses and rays of sun on the headstone of his mother's.

Tears begin to flow down his face as he pulls three roses free, not caring when the thorns tear into his flesh, making him bleed. He places one on the ground in front of each and sniffs, soft sobs escaping his lips in the solitary quiet of the garden, the sound of distant birds chirping being the only noise.

"I love you", he chokes out, looking from his mother's stone to his lover's. His gaze, however, lands on Darcy's and he hangs his head low. "And I am so sorry. You didn't deserve to be in the middle. I know you were not only Rhys's mother, but you were a mother to the ba—the Illyrian two as well. I tried to save you both. I-I did, and I couldn't. I couldn't", he sobs, burying his face in his hands.