This isn't exactly in the Haven. It's a one-shot of Terra-Two that I have always loved.

==SFTH==

It was by far the worst day of Terra Johnson's life.

She'd had a lot of bad days to be fair. You couldn't really have a good way of comparing your days from worst to best. Terra felt she had the privilege.

Not only had she been hiding as a human for three months, but Terra had also still been madly in love with Martha Jones. A black woman, in 1913! The one type of person Caroline Brown should have had no feelings for. Damn these stupid laws for segregation. Yet Caroline did so anyway- how much was Caroline, how much was it things and feelings already lying inside of Terra?

She loved so much that it hurt to know she could never say anything without rejection.

Turns out, she didn't need to say a thing.

Martha rejected her. Worse, she did it without realizing it. Without looking Caroline in the eye.

"And I love him to bits!"

That had been as good as signing Caroline's death warrant.

The girl barely made it out of sight of the house before opening the watch, bringing Terra Johnson back from limbo.

Then Terra had to hear Martha's rejection. Her second heart broke.

She had run to the Family's ship. They had run away like scared chickens.

Terra's will was fading. Then again, had there been much?

"And I love him to bits!"

There was nothing. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for. Martha had already chosen her Time Lord.

And it hadn't been her.

"I was the one who had it all." Terra sang. Her hand ran across the buttons she had flipped. "I was the master of my fate." She shook her head at the bitter joke. "I never needed anybody in my life, I learned the truth too late."

Martha had chosen. How could Terra get her hopes up like this? This had always happened. She started to like someone, really really like someone, then they chose someone else.

"I'll never shake away the pain." Terra "I close my eyes but she's still there." Terra ran her hands over her face. She wanted to scrub the sight away. She wanted Martha Jones out of her mind. She didn't want to live with this pain, with Martha never being her's. Martha would always belong to the Doctor.

"I let her steal into my melancholy heart. It's more than I can bear!" She sobbed, momentarily falling to her knees in sorrow.

Though she wanted to lie in the dirt and mud, let the world come to ash and ruin around her, to let herself die amongst the wastes...Terra thought it fitting. She felt like garbage, let her die like garbage.

"Now I know she'll never leave me, even as she runs away!" She pushed her hands in her hair, messing up her headband. She didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. "She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me, move me, come what may."

The Year would start soon. The event was so big, so noticeable, Terra couldn't look away. Martha would walk away over and over. Terra would forever be cursed to watch her go.

"Wasting in my lonely tower! Waiting by an open door." Terra imagined it. Watching Martha walk out the TARDIS door. Terra watched her imagined self reaching out, wondering what it might be like. "I'll fool myself she'll walk right in, and be with me for evermore..."

Terra stood up on her feet. She had a mission. There wasn't much time before the Doctor came back. Martha would be in danger.

"I rage against the trials of love!" She hugged her middle, stumbling over the last of the bushes. "I curse the fading of the light!" She looked over her shoulder. A vision came to her brain of Martha running to her, screaming out her name, for Terra to stay. Terra held up her arm to meet the companion. "Though she's already flown so far beyond my reach, she's never out of sight!"

Terra watched the fading image of Martha in her mind's eye.

"Now I know she'll never leave me even as she fades from view!" Tears came down her face. Terra didn't want to leave Martha. She didn't want another Terra or another Caroline around Martha. Terra wanted to be it all for Martha but...but she knew that choice was out of her hands. "She will still inspire me, be a part of everything I do!"

She stepped onto the dew-covered grass. A green light shined on her dress, reminding Terra another color would soon be coming over her.

"Wasting in my lonely tower!" She stood by the ship's door. "Waiting by an open door. I'll fool myself she'll walk right in, and as the long, long nights begin."

She looked down at her glowing hands. The glow was becoming more intense. Terra took a breath, pushing that pain down for another minute. She just needed two minutes- that's all. She could trick the Family for two minutes.

"I'll think of all that might have been." Terra sang, bracing herself. "Waiting here for evermore..."

She let herself cry, being loud and obnoxious and human. She stumbled into the ship of the Family. As they all turned to her, sneering in disgust, Terra knew she could do this.

It was for Martha, after all.

==SFTH==

AN: Yes this took thirty years but hey it's the anniversary of this story so that's cool.

Was it okay? I was going for the right mix of depressing and romance!

Thanks to The Timeless Child and Lynnecaya for favoriting and following