For the record, Freddie loved his big sister. Freddy Rose- Terra- whoever she wanted to be this week.
His first memories were all about here. Granted, via videos from his father, but they were her. Freddy Rose was his entire life, his endgame, his destination, his final form. She was his ticket to his father's love. Becoming her, exactly like her, would give Freddie all he ever wanted in life.
He'd been scared. Any kid would be scared, when their parental love was conditional. Freddie knew the mold he needed to fit. In some ways, he copied her perfectly. In others, he was a failure. His gender for one. It hurt Freddie every time he needed to remind his father of it. Father compared them constantly- that Freddie failed a move that Freddy mastered after a week. Freddie couldn't copy her precision and prowess with ecto blasts. Too much use of his powers led to his body crumbling. He needed pants in his ghost form, not a skirt. He liked his hair shorter, not like Freddy's ever present ponytail.
He was born a failure, Freddie never let himself forget it.
One night, when Father was working with Dani (Freddie's younger sister, though not by blood. Dani was a clone, just like him, and that counted more), so Freddie got ignored. All usual behavior in the Masters house. Freddie explored his father's library. He picked up a book- not entirely randomly. According to Father's notes, this book was in a genre that Freddy Rose preferred.
But then...but then something weird happened when he finished the book. A funny feeling in his chest. Not unlike when he changed between forms. The sensation tricked Freddie into leaning into it.
He woke up in a world completely different. Bright green hills, dirt that soothed his toes, blue skies that helped keep the heat from feeling overbearing. A beautiful environment, not like the Wisconsin mansion where Freddie was never allowed outside.
A breeze blew through his short brown hair. Freddie checked himself over. New clothes, which startled him. Gone were his baggy green clothes and pants, instead he wore form fitting brown leathers and a green robe.
Two weeks later, Freddie fully settled into the world of Lord of the Jewelry. The Membership liked him, and welcomed him into their group. None of them expected him to be better than an elder, or compared him to any of them. His fighting skills were always praised.
Using his powers never drained him. He got better and stronger as he used them, getting stronger without faltering. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was everything he ever wanted out of life.
Then it ended. He cheered and boasted with Froyo and Wes, finally having completed their goal of stopping Noruas, and his One Jewel. Tookin and Brandy were already drunk, so Freddie resigned himself to dragging them home. That's when it all fell apart.
He found himself dragged back into the Mansion. The cushioned chair of Father's study felt foreign to him now. He was so used to horseback and harsh things, cushions didn't so much alarm him as they confused him. He shouldn't be back at Bagfront already.
"FREDDY!" Father shouted.
Freddie startled out of the chair. He fell to the floor, face planting on the book. Lord of the Jewelry, read the title. A book that Freddie hadn't seen in months.
"GET DOWN HERE NOW!" Father ordered, his voice echoing from all around the place.
Confused and startled, Freddie moved. He shifted to his ghost form, but stopped halfway. A jolt of pain went through him. Freddie forgot to expect it.
His father. He couldn't keep his father waiting any longer. He'd already been gone for months. Freddie grit his teeth, forcing through the pain. The shift to his ghost form hurt- like what he imagined dying was.
Freddie landed in the lab. He rushed to his father, seeing his baby sister kneeling in a half formed puddle of goo. "Dani-"
"She'll recover." Father replied. "Now you-"
"I'm sorry I was gone, Father-" Freddie pleaded. "Really! Please, let Dani get rest-"
"If you want forgiveness, you know what to do." Father stated.
Freddie gulped. He looked at Dani, at his sister, he hadn't seen her in months. He missed her every day. But looking at her now, she'd barely aged.
Wait. She barely aged. She hadn't aged even a few months, hell probably even days! Freddie glanced over to where he knew a digital clock hung on the wall. It came with a calendar for the date.
The date was the same day he left, all those months ago.
Freddie Rose didn't know it then, but he was more like Freddy than even Vlad Masters knew
==SFTH==
It took work for Freddie to figure it out. Trial and error. Any moment of free time, he experimented with the strange power he gained. Freddie learned he could return to Middle-ish Earth, and his friends did note his absence but thought he was off celebrating still.
He could visit other places too. Other books in Father's library. He appeared differently sometimes- different colored hair or being younger or being older.
Freddie always felt stronger there. Like gaining/using powers wouldn't melt him, and walking wouldn't either. He loved these places, and he wished he could bring Dani.
Doing that always scared Freddie. Could he be sure? He hated hiding this from Father, but he couldn't handle the scorn. This could be another power from Freddy that he hadn't mastered. If he presented it to Dani, she would ask Father about it. If Father found out he hadn't figured it out yet, well...Freddie feared for his future.
Then it was time.
He got his first mission. Find Freddy, steal her DNA, and return with it. His father would use it to finish the perfect clone of Freddy, and then fix Freddie.
Freddie doubted, though. He knew his father loved him, and wanted Freddie better. But he was older now, a year and change, to when he first landed in Middle-ish Earth. He wanted to think that Father would fix him and Dani...but if he had the perfect ones, why keep the imperfections?
Maybe his father came to love them. Freddie saw real love, felt it with the Membership, he didn't often feel it from Father.
Maybe if he succeeded, he would see the truth.
==SFTH==
Freddie hated her. Hated how perfectly perfect she was. Freddy Rose stood out amongst them all, and maintained a kind of politeness that infuriated him.
She welcomed him into her home. Into her life. Let Freddie meet her kid. Then, Freddy made Freddie fucking dinner. She praised his use of his powers, that he did amazing things with them despite the damage they caused to him.
Then, Freddy revealed she knew about his powers. His reality walking powers. Freddie shared some of his stories. Freddy laughed, her daughter too. They shared their own stories, and for the first time in a long time, Freddie felt loved.
She loved him. Wholly, completely, and without expectations. She praised him and his skills, even when he used them against her.
Sometimes, his sister sucked ass.
Once the dust all settled, and everything was fixed, Freddy gave Freddie advice that haunted for fucking years.
"Hey. Keep Tucker's hat."
==SFTH==
Tuck was even better than Freddie ever could have dreamed. Tuck was funny, and cool, and even had Freddie's powers. Freddy's powers. A family trait passed along between them.
Freddie got a chance. To do for Tuck what Freddy did for her daughter. He did better for his son than his father ever did for him.
And it worked.
For a day.
After watching his son grow, of helping the son along with his powers and life in general. Freddie needed to convince his son there was more to life than living than this bullshit war between Humans and Hath. There's a life for Tuck beyond it.
Then, his sister came. Granted, with the Doctor and companions, but his sister came. A happy, younger version of his sister that never met Freddie before. Damn, he hated Time Travel. It did his fucking head in.
But this Freddy loved him too, once she figured out who he was (he really banked on her not figuring it out. Like, maybe Freddie was the idiot his dad kept calling him).
And then Tuck-
And then Tuck-
His fucking son ended up on the wrong side of a wall exploding.
Freddie wanted to yell. To scream. To be a complete asshole to a girl who just learned his name, because she could've stopped it.
He asked. Freddie snapped and yelled at her. Why his kid? Why tell Freddie to take a hat that he eventually gave to his son, if that son was only gonna die? Why let Freddie get attached? Why did Freddie even teach Tuck anything if Tuck would fucking die anyway?
"Because I'm a bitch." Was her first offer.
Which, yes. Freddie completely agreed.
"Or maybe, to give you hope."
Had he mentioned she sucked ass?
She was right.
A few hours later, Freddie led his sister and her companions through a war torn planet. Better yet, he found Tuck. A hatless, but alive Tuck.
He used the hat for traction, saving a Hath from a mud pit. A being he'd been born to hate, and Tuck saved him. Just like his old man.
Freddie was wrong.
Freddie's sister was a fucking bitch.
==SFTH==
Freddie stormed into the Haven. Tuck jumped in beside him, happily skipping on air like gravity was a suggestion. Jenny walked in, staring around at everything.
"What is this place?" Jenny asked.
"My sister's place." Freddie replied. He walked over to the main desk. Tuck stayed at his side, beaming and gawking at everything. "We're just here for a quick check."
Tuck gasped. "Couches!" He rushed over at them, jumping in the air to make a dive. He landed.
Freddie gave him a thumb of approval.
Jenny watched, eyebrows raised and definitely smiling. "Why are we at your sister's place? We just saw her."
"Time travel, kid, you do a lot of things out of order." Freddie fought back an annoyed huff. "GARTH, bud, my dude, my guy, where's my key?"
"Jenny, you gotta try this!" Tuck, who looked like a college aged adult, jumped on the couches. "It's bouncy like a bed but better!"
Freddie checked a drawer on the desk. He saw a note, telling him to come to the office. "No key." He slammed the drawer shut. "Thanks for the warning!"
Jenny came up to his side. Freddie noticed her approach, yeah, but he didn't see a point in stopping it. He needed to talk to his sister- his current sister, from his time. "Right, yes, time travel. You said you were sent from the future, for adventure?"
Freddie checked the hallways. One had an obviously open door. "I did."
"Is that why we're seeing her?" Jenny asked. "Because you need to report to your commanding officer?"
Right. Yeah. Jenny and Tuck were uploaded with military information on creation. No amount of meeting the Doctor or Terra would change that. That meant Freddie needed to explain this in military terms, because to the clones it was their first language. They knew how to disassemble a gun before they could walk.
Freddie could fly before he'd been allowed to walk.
"Yes. And it's confidential, so you can't listen to all of it." Freddie walked off toward the hallway.
"Why not?" Jenny asked. She chased after him. At their retreat, Tuck rushed to catch up. "We were a part of it! We helped rebuild the Messaline, and made sure they had an established government! Why can't we be in-"
"Because we're not gonna talk." Freddie snapped. Jenny shut her mouth with a click. "We're gonna fight."
==SFTH==
The statue guards let him pass. It pissed Freddie off again. She always did that. She made sure Freddie was welcomed to her home and spaces. Just once, Freddie wanted her to feel like he was a threat. He wanted to be taken seriously.
He threw the door open.
Terra waved from her desk. The older, still ginger one. "Hey bro! Sup?"
"Fuck you." Freddie snapped.
"Okay." Terra replied, agreeing easily. She scrunched up her eyebrows, tilting her head. "Wait, why?"
Freddie continued storming to her desk. He made sure his amber eyes glared into her matching set.
Terra hummed, standing up from the desk. She barely walked around the desk before Freddie got there. "Did something happe-"
Freddie punched her. On the jaw.
Terra moved with the punch. She caught herself on her desk. She looked back up at him. "Wha-"
Another punch thrown. Terra dodged it this time, rushing forward. Freddie turned after her. When he threw another attack, Terra deflected.
"Hey!" Terra snapped in a perfect commanding voice. The one Father always wanted him to have- to copy. Freddie never got it right to Father's approval.
It made his rage worse.
He kicked at her. Terra grabbed his leg, working it around to flip Freddie. He used his powers to float with it. His free leg kicked her head. Terra flew back against the couch.
Freddie leapt at her. Terra barely caught onto his shoulders, keeping his attack from reaching her. The grip of her hands on his shoulders made him struggle to hit her. He kicked and clawed.
Terra's legs wrapped around his middle. Before Freddie could fit, Terra pushed them both around. She grabbed his hands.
"Enough!" She snapped. Freddie tried to use his powers. Terra's own hands glowed with the same power, keeping him in place. "Enough."
Freddie tried again to phase. To fire an ecto beam. Maybe even throw a lightning bolt. But Terra stared at him with his own eyes. Eyes stolen by his father to give to Freddie, so he could replace her. Then he failed to do it.
"Fuck you!" Freddie snapped, yelling in her face.
Terra nodded. "I know."
"Fuck! You!" Freddie's words were softer this time but still full of hate.
"I'm sorry." The words were more sincere than Freddie wanted to hear.
"Fuck you!" Freddie let his arms fall, panting.
Terra stared still, heartbreak all over her face. The face his father wanted him to have. The face the perfect version of him should've had.
He's not good enough. And it's Terra's fault.
If he were smarter, he would've figured that Tuck was alive.
If he were faster, he would've stopped Tuck getting lost in the first place.
If Freddie were a better father-
If he had a better father-"
"Fuck you." Freddie fell back. The fighting hadn't left him, but he was exhausted from holding it for this long. "I hate you."
"That's okay." Terra assured him. "It's okay. And even if it wasn't, you can still keep on hating me. It's okay."
Freddie laughed. Or he cried. Probably both. Probably neither. Fucking bitch. She didn't even treat every enemy this way. Terra always killed first, because she knew the seriousness of the threat. She always treated Freddie like a brother. He'd wanted her dead longer than he'd been breathing.
"I'm not like you." Freddie spat. At her. At himself. At his father. At the damn world that just kept pushing and pushing at him until he wanted to explode.
Terra bit her lip. "I don't want you to be."
It made her even worse. "Then- then why? I thought he was dead. You let me think my son was dead."
She grimaced, but did not avert her eyes. "I did."
"I hate you."
She should know that pain. Freddie met her kid- all her fucking kids. If anyone in all of creation knew his pain, it should be her. Why make him go through that? Why let him suffer? Why plan his suffering years before it ever happened?
Why did he get punished? Was he not enough like her? Did she just enjoy seeing him in pain? That's a thing sisters did, right? Or fucking sadists. Father was a bastard himself, so it made sense for why he wanted a kid like Freddy Rose.
Instead he got Freddie. A boy so useless he couldn't fight his perfect double.
Freddie hated her so much.
Terra let go of his hands. Freddie didn't move. He couldn't. He was crying, again, chin wobbling and tears spilling out to make his vision blurry.
Terra pulled him up. Still straddling his waist, Terra led him into a hug. Freddie sobbed on her pink sweater, screaming out his sorrows like he couldn't on the battlefield.
She let him cry. Let him grieve. Everything he held back, he poured it out on her. His fists pounded her chest, Terra rubbed his back. He screamed louder, she started rocking him.
I hate you, he screamed.
I love you more than that hate, she replied.
As she always fucking did.
He sobbed until he couldn't. Until his body craved water to replace what he lost, until he could barely focus on his own thoughts let alone cry about them.
Terra ran her hand in his hair. His short and brown hair. Hers, long and orange. A color Father never even thought about for them.
"I've hurt you all your life." Terra began. "Since that bastard first made you, I hurt you. I knew what he would do to you, and I let him. I let him hurt your sisters, and brothers. He hurt children, and I fucking let him. I hate me too."
Freddie sniffled. He considered that, at one point. Terra probably knew his existence down to the very second. Her knowledge of his world, of genetic experiments, made her the expert. She left him behind in Vlad Masters' lab.
"Why?" He croaked.
Terra sniffled too. He'd been so lost in his own feelings, he never noticed she started crying too. "Because I was a coward. I thought- I hurt one sibling, turning her into me. Tried so hard to make her copy me so she could live. But it hurt her. I couldn't do that again to a sibling I loved. I wanted you to hate me because then you'd never be me."
Freddie hugged her. He needed support, at that moment, and she was the only one there. Apparently he had tears left to cry. Terra hugged him back, squeezing him tighter.
"You are kind." Her voice shook now, forcing words out through tears. "And strong. You held on so long, and I could never, ever be kind after what you went through. You are- so much better than me." She hiccuped another sob, squeezing tighter to him.
Both of them, huddled beside her office couch, kept on crying. They let out their lifetime's worth of tears of pain. But importantly: they held on, as long as the other needed them.
==SFTH==
AN: I listened to Madds Buckley's 'Brother' on repeat until the serotonin gave me this.
Takes place immediately after chapter 10 of My Ghosts Come Back, and is technically a crossover with Danny Phantom. Spoilers, I guess, for a thing that's been out 18 years?
Thanks to Bunny's daughter for favoriting and following