Trigger warning: violence and abuse.
More than anything in this world, Lysa Kane had wanted to go with Din.
It was him who she dreamed of, the Mandalorian, on quiet nights where she couldn't sleep, her body aching with bruises. Din Djarin, rescuing her from this cruel life…taking her away somewhere to see the stars…to set her free from all this.
But sometimes life was cruel and hard, and dreams like that just didn't happen for people like her.
She knew her choices were stupid. Blindly choosing Crix again, conditioned to believe that he was the only thing she deserved.
Somehow owing him her unconditional loyalty.
Lysa trembled as she followed Crix into their small living space.
The front door sliding shut behind them, had shut out Din.
Shut out the world.
And now Lysa knew what was coming for her. What her fate was to be now she had made her choice to stay with Crix.
Resigning herself to a life getting beaten for every thing she did. No matter how hard she tried to do the right thing. To do what Crix wanted. It would never be good enough.
For a moment out there on the dusty street, Lysa had felt hope…for the first time in a long time. When Din had asked her to go with him. When he had told her that she could leave Crix, and that he would keep her safe.
But then Crix had said the words that had changed everything. Reminding her that if she had left him, then a worse fate would befall Grogu.
And Lysa knew that if anything happened to Crix, then his buddies would ensure that the child and his father would reach a sorry end. It had happened before, to people that had wronged him. Crix had a knack of gaining loyalty and status with the bad crowd. Surrounding himself with men who would be as faithful to him as Lysa was.
There was no way Lysa was going to let that happen to Grogu. That fate.
So she would bare the beatings, the insults, the abuse…if it meant that Grogu would be safe and well, and able to live his life.
Crix had a hold on her now. A dark and cruel hold.
But who was she kidding, he had always had a hold on her. For years now he had latched onto her, refusing to let go, twisting and pinching her, until the roles were reversed and here she was, nothing but an accessory now attached to him. Not even her own person anymore.
Somehow Crix had managed to take everything from Lysa. And yet at the end of the day here she was, still with him, loyal to the end.
Like a beaten dog, running to her owner with her tail still wagging, despite the years of pain he had put her through.
But Din had been that light in her darkness. For the first time in years Lysa had felt something different. Hope, and perhaps something else.
He had been kind and sweet, he made her laugh, and at the end of it all, he had made her feel real again. Like the true Lysa, and not just Crix's little woman.
But now, the daydream that Din would save her was lost to the ether. She had made her choice.
She knew she must look a fool now to Din Djarin- choosing Crix. The man that caused her so much pain.
But she hadn't asked Din to come here. Hadn't asked him to interfere in her life.
And so that had to be it now. That had to be the last time she saw Din.
Not because of Crix or what he would do if she did see him again. But because she was now the reason her partner had a grudge to bare against a man he wouldn't know, had it not been for Lysa and her deliveries.
She just couldn't involve Din in her life anymore. And that was that.
He would be better off without her.
But that didn't mean that inside she didn't still long for the man standing out there on the street, desperate to feel close to him…to feel safe with him.
Her heart aching painfully as she dwelled on the fact that she could never see him again.
Lysa gave a hard swallow as she turned the corner, watching as Crix picked up a rag from the kitchen worktop, holding it to his slightly bloody neck.
He looked seething, and Lysa feared what would come next.
So she tried to get ahead of it by apologising.
"Crix, I'm so sorry," she said desperately, her body trembling.
She was scared. Utterly terrified of what he was capable of now that Din had done what he had done- trying to help. But Lysa knew that it had only made her life a hundred times worse.
Lysa tried to approach Crix but he merely turned to her scowling.
"So you want to be shacked up with the Mandalorian, huh?" he said in a poisonous voice. He turned, spitting blood onto the floor harshly, before looking back up to her.
"We're just…friends," said Lysa quickly, sounding terrified. Getting Din involved in her mess had never been her intention.
"We're just friends," uttered Crix in a sudden mocking voice, pulling a face and rounding on her, taking a step into her intimidatingly. "You really think a Mandalorian would want you? The guy's probably screwing a gal in every port, hard and fast. You really think he'd want a repressed little prude like you?"
He let out a sudden cruel and mocking laugh.
A tear slid down Lysa's cheek, gazing at the man she had once loved so very much, treating her like dirt.
"You think anyone would want you?" he said in a cruel voice, reaching around her, grabbing her suddenly by her hair.
Lysa gave a yelp, shaking with fear, her breathing shallow in her throat as he tugged her head painfully back by her hair, pressing his face close to hers.
"The only thing you're good for is getting on your knees and opening your mouth when I tell you to," he hissed, spittle flying from his mouth onto her cheek. "An' that Mandalorian…oh he's gonna pay for what he did to me."
"Please don't-" Lysa managed.
This wasn't Din's fight. It was hers. And she knew full well what lengths Crix would go to…what lengths his buddies would go to, to punish Din for what he had done. And she would rather live a lifetime of hurt and pain and degradation than see either Din or Grogu suffer.
But at her words, Crix's face suddenly turned into a foul grimace, and he let go of her hair, her hand instead slipping to her throat.
And before she knew it, Crix shoved her quickly backwards, her back colliding with the wall behind her with a hard thump.
The back of Lysa's head hitting the whitewashed stone painfully hard, and for a second she saw stars.
Lysa gave a whimper as she refocused her eyes, her entire body trembling with pure fear, willing herself not to cry. Crying only ever seemed to anger Crix further.
He was angry now, so very angry, his teeth bared dangerously…
…his grip suddenly tightening around her throat, choking all the air from her body.
Lysa's eyes widened as she tried to gasp for breath unsuccessfully, as Crix pressed his face close to hers.
"If I killed you here and now, no one would care, you know that?" he spat in a cruel voice, as Lysa desperately tried to flail beneath his grasp.
She could feel the life being choked from her, black spots appearing before her eyes, as she gaped at the air like a fish.
"You're nothing but an insignificant woman," Crix continued now, but his voice sounded distant, Lysa's being snuffed out with no way of stopping him. "And at the end of the day, I don't think anyone would even notice you were gone."
And with that, just as Lysa felt herself losing consciousness, Crix suddenly let go of her throat, walking away from her in utter disgust, allowing her to slip to the floor, her legs unsteady.
Lysa gave an audible gasp, sucking in a breath, as the world seemed to come into view again, in vivid colour now. She was alive.
But this didn't feel like living.
Not anymore.
She felt like a ghost now. Slipping into a world only meant for people like her, people made to stay in the shadows. Not allowed to live the same life others were granted.
Lying in a heap on the ground Lysa let out the smallest of sobs, as tears splashed down her cheeks, landing on her knees…
…resigning herself to the fact that she would never escape this cruel and painful life, purely reserved for her.
Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. Thank you to those who left kind words. They are very much appreciated.
Just wanted to get this new chapter out quickly, as it is sans Din. I'd love to hear what you thought of this one.
Please review