Chapter Twenty Six - I Feel Like An Extra in a Kevin Costner Movie

The manager had us hurriedly removed from the restaurant after we'd finished our meal. I guess with Ares gone, he'd finally rediscovered his spine. Not that it mattered, since we still had access to the suite. I sent Grover out to get some heavy rain gear for all of us. I felt bad about it, but he really was the best goat for the job. As a Satyr, he had a better sense of direction than we did - not to mention he wouldn't get as distracted by new sights in a new city as an A.D.H.D. prone group of demigods.

He came back almost an hour later, soaking wet and smelling like a barnyard animal. Andromeda wrinkled her nose and sent him to clean up and get dry while I set to work fixing the rain gear with magical enchantments. Since working on the bags, I had a better grasp of what I was doing - though I did wish Jo had gotten around to telling me her own tricks before Brit had interrupted.

My first attempt at water repelling sent water flying like a small hurricane when Annabeth tested it in the shower. The coat stayed dry, but everything around it was soaked. Probably not the best. My next attempt went much better - giving the raincoat a sort of invisible barrier that repelled water a half inch away from the wearer. By the time I finished enchanting all of our coats, it was already after noon.

Unsurprisingly, the storm still hadn't let up. I guess Zeus was enjoying his temper tantrum. I petulantly stuck my tongue out at the sky, and was rewarded with a heavy crack of thunder. Was he watching me?

Thankfully, Zeus' tantrum seemed to have run its course and the rain had at least let up by the time we found our way to the water park. Judging from the sign, it once had been called WATERLAND, but now some of the letters were smashed out, so it read WAT-R-A-D. I had a gut feeling that this place wasn't just closed due to the recent weather.

The main gate was padlocked and topped with barbed wire. Inside, huge dry waterslides and tubes and pipes curled everywhere, leading to empty pools. Old tickets and advertisements fluttered around the asphalt. With night coming on, the place looked downright creepy.

"If Ares brings his girlfriend here for a date," I said, staring up at the barbed wire, "I'd hate to see what she looks like."

"Penny," Annabeth warned. "Be more respectful."

"Why?"

"He's still a god. And his girlfriend is very temperamental."

"You especially don't want to insult her looks," Andromeda added.

"Why, who is she?" I asked.

"Aphrodite," Grover said, a little dreamily. "Goddess of love."

"I thought she was married to my dad," I said.

"What's your point?" he asked.

"Ah," I suddenly felt uncomfortable.

Thankfully, Andromeda spoke up; "So how are we getting in?"

"Maia!" once again, my shoes sprouted wings. "I can take you all one at a time, I think."

"Are you sure?" Annabeth asked. "You might not weigh much, but I doubt those shoes can lift two people and still fly."

"I don't plan to fly, just... jump. The flight magic should give more than enough of a boost for that much. Grover, you first."

"Why me?" He asked, nervously.

"You're probably the heaviest of all of us," I said. "If I can get you over, then I should have no problems with them."

"That... Makes sense," Grover said, obviously wishing it hadn't. Sure enough, I was able to get just enough of a boost to clear the fence on my first leap - though Grover's hoof did clip the barbed wire.

After that, I brought Andromeda over next, and then Annabeth. The shadows grew long as we walked through the park, checking out the attractions. There was Ankle Biter Island, Head Over Wedgie, and Dude, Where's My Swimsuit? No monsters came to get us. Nothing made the slightest noise.

We found a souvenir shop that had been left open. Merchandise still lined the shelves: snow globes, pencils, postcards, and racks of-

"Clothes," Annabeth said. "Fresh clothes."

"Yeah," I said. "But you can't just..."

"Watch me."

"Andromeda?" I asked, then sighed as she walked past to join Annabeth.

"Look, the place is basically abandoned," She said. "Besides, we could use the supplies."

"I guess..." I said, reluctantly. Even when I was living on the streets, I didn't like the idea of stealing, but I wasn't about to turn my nose up at my friends.

Annabeth and Andromeda both snatched an entire row of stuff off the racks and disappeared into the changing room.

"What the heck." Grover shrugged.

Soon enough, all four of us were decked out like walking advertisements for the defunct theme park. We continued searching for the shield, and I got the feeling that the whole park was holding its breath.

"So Ares and Aphrodite," I said, more to keep my mind off the rising chill than any actual interest in the subject. It was Summer for Olympus' sake! Didn't Colorado get the memo? "Those two have a thing going?"

"That's old gossip," Annabeth told me. "Three thousand year old gossip."

"What about my dad?" I asked.

"Well, you know," Andromeda said. "He isn't exactly the most handsome god, not that that's really an excuse. But, I mean, sure he's really clever with his hands and all, but Aphrodite isn't really into brains and talent, you know?"

"And dad knows about them?"

"Oh sure," Annabeth said. "He caught them together once. I mean, literally caught them, in a golden net."

"And then he invited all the gods to come and laugh at them," Andromeda said. "Hephaestus is always trying to embarrass them. That's why they meet in out of the way places, like ..."

She stopped, looking straight ahead.

"Like that," Annabeth said.

In front of us was an empty pool that would've been awesome for skateboarding. It was at least fifty yards across and shaped like a bowl. Around the rim, a dozen bronze statues of Cupid stood guard with wings spread and bows ready to fire. On the opposite side from us, a tunnel opened up, probably where the water flowed into when the pool was full. The sign above it read, THRILL RIDE O' LOVE: THIS IS NOT YOUR PARENTS' TUNNEL OF LOVE!

Grover crept toward the edge. "Guys, look."

Marooned at the bottom of the pool in the middle of a deep puddle of rain water was a pink-and-white two-seater boat with a canopy over the top and little hearts painted all over it. In the left seat, glinting in the fading light, was Ares's shield, a polished circle of bronze.

"This is almost too easy," I said. "So we just walk down there and get it?"

Annabeth ran her fingers along the base of the nearest Cupid statue.

"There's a Greek letter carved here," she said. "Eta. I wonder ..."

"Grover," I said, "you smell any monsters?"

He sniffed the wind. "Nothing."

"Okay," I took a deep breath. "I'm going down there."

"I'll go with you." Grover said, though he didn't sound too enthusiastic.

"No," I told him. "I want you to stay up top and keep a look out. If something does come for us, we'll be counting on you for backup."

Grover puffed up his chest a little, "Sure. But what could go wrong?"

"Don't say that!" I groaned.

"Sorry," he blushed. "I was caught up in the moment."

"Don't sweat it," I told him. "Just sit tight and I'll be right back."

"Not without backup," Andromeda said.

"Besides," Annabeth said, "your raincoat is great, but do you want to test it with standing water?"

"I can fly," I pointed out. "No need to wade. Besides, someone should at least stay with Grover."

Andromeda and Annabeth looked to each other, holding a silent conversation with just their eyes. Was I jealous? No! Why would you even think that? After a moment, they both nodded and Annabeth spoke up; "I'll go down there with you, and she'll stay up here with Grover."

"Alright," I said.

With that sorted out, we scrambled down the side of the bowl. It was steeper than it seemed from above, and I was immediately grateful for the winged shoes. They would undoubtedly be necessary to climb back out of here carrying that shield. Ares' shield was propped on one seat of the boat, right next to a lady's silk scarf.

I picked up the scarf, and it shimmered pink. The perfume was indescribable - like roses, or mountain laurel. Something good. I smiled, a little dreamy, and was about to rub the scarf against my cheek when Annabeth ripped it out of my hand and stuffed it in her pocket.

"Oh, no you don't," she warned. "You stay away from that love magic."

"What?" I blinked.

"Just get the shield, Hot Head, and let's get out of here."

"Sure thing, Wise Girl," I said.

"Wait," Annabeth said. "There's another Greek letter on the side of the boat, another Eta. It's a trap!"

Unfortunately, I'd already reached out to grab the shield. My hand broke through something that had been connecting it to the dashboard. A cobweb, I thought, but then I looked at a strand of it on my palm and saw it was some kind of metal filament, so fine it was almost invisible. A trip wire.

"Too late," I groaned.

The sound of a million gears grinding erupted all around us, as if the entire pool was turning into one giant machine. Above us, the Cupid statues were drawing their bows into firing position. Before I could raise the shield to take cover, they fired, but not at us. The bronze cherubs aimed across the rim of the pool at each other. Silky cables trailed from the arrows, arcing over the pool and anchoring where they landed to form a huge golden asterisk. Then smaller metallic threads started weaving together magically between the main strands, making a net.

"We have to get out," I said.

"Duh!" Annabeth said.

I tossed the shield to Annabeth and grabbed her around the waist and activating the shoes before leaping as high as I could. Unfortunately, I misjudged my trajectory and we wound up only halfway up the slope.

"Come on!" Andromeda shouted.

She and Grover were trying to hold open a section of the net for us, but wherever they touched it, the golden threads started to wrap around their hands. The statue's heads popped open to reveal video cameras. Spotlights rose up all around the pool, blinding us with illumination, as a loudspeaker voice boomed:

"Live to Olympus in sixty seconds... Fifty-nine, fifty-eight ..."

"Hephaestus!" Annabeth screamed. "I'm so stupid.' Eta is H.' He made this trap to catch Aphrodite with Ares. Now we're going to be broadcast live to Olympus and look like absolute fools!"

We'd almost made it to the rim when the row of mirrors opened like hatches and thousands of tiny metallic... things poured out. Annabeth screamed. It was an army of wind-up creepy-crawlies: bronze-gear bodies, spindly legs, little pincer mouths, all scuttling toward us in a wave of clacking, whirring metal.

"Spiders!" Annabeth said. "Sp-sp-... Aaaaahhh!"

I'd never seen her like this before. She fell backward in terror and almost got overwhelmed by the spider robots before I pulled her up and dragged her back toward the boat. The things were coming out from all around the rim now, millions of them, flooding toward the center of the pool, completely surrounding us. I told myself they probably weren't programmed to kill, just corral us and bite us and make us look stupid. Then again, this was a trap meant for gods. And we weren't gods.

Annabeth and I leapt back into the boat, thankfully avoiding tipping into the water. The upside of the deep puddle meant the mechanical spiders were short circuiting and dying before they could reach us. The downside to this was each new wave of spiders was just adding to the pile and slowly making a bridge of robot corpses.

"Thirty, twenty-nine," called the loudspeaker.

Soon, enough spiders had drowned to make a serviceable bridge for the rest of them, and they finally reached the boat. I started kicking away at the spiders as they swarmed aboard, shouting for Annabeth to help me, but she was too paralyzed to do much more than scream. Suddenly, the spiders switched tactic and started spitting out strands of metal thread, trying to tie us down.

The strands were easy enough to break at first, but there were so many of them, and the spiders just kept coming. I kicked one away from Annabeth's leg and its pincers took a chunk out of my shoe - Sorry Luke. I definitely wouldn't be flying again anytime soon. Grover and Andromeda were still up top trying to cut through the net, but it wouldn't budge.

"Fifteen, fourteen," the loudspeaker called.

The spiders were all over the prow of the boat now. Annabeth was still screaming her head off. I had to get us out of there.

"Five, four—"

Andromeda and Grover looked down at us hopelessly, neither of them had made so much as a dent in the net. Grover pointed and said something to Andromeda that I couldn't hear over Annabeth's screams, and Andromeda nodded and began running to the control booth.

"Two, one, zero !"

Spotlights glared down at us. The Cupid-cams were rolling, live to Olympus. And we were going to be eaten alive by an army of mechanical spiders! Think, I told myself. Think. The entrance was still under the net. We could use it as an exit, except that it was blocked by a million robot spiders.

Just then, water exploded out of the pipes above us. It roared into the pool, sweeping away the spiders. I pulled Annabeth down into the seat next to me and wrapped my raincoat tight around myself just as the tidal wave slammed into our boat, over the top, whisking the spiders away and dousing us completely, but not capsizing us. The boat turned, lifted in the flood, and spun in circles around the whirlpool.

"Dad," I prayed. "This is seriously not cool!"

Maybe it was my imagination, but the boat seemed to respond. At least, it didn't break into a million pieces. We spun around one last time, the water level now almost high enough to shred us against the metal net. Then the boat's nose turned toward the tunnel and we rocketed through into the darkness.

Annabeth and I held each other tight, both of us screaming as the boat shot forward at breakneck speeds - hugging corners and taking forty-five-degree plunges past pictures of Romeo and Juliet and a bunch of other Valentine's Day stuff without slowing down. Then we were out of the tunnel, the night air whistling through our hair as the boat barreled straight toward the exit.

If the ride had been in working order, we would've sailed off a ramp between the golden Gates of Love and splashed down safely in the exit pool. There was just one small problem - the Gates of Love were chained shut. Two boats that had been washed out of the tunnel before us were now piled against the barricade—one submerged, the other cracked in half.

"We're going to die!" Annabeth screamed.

"No, we wont," I shouted back. "I have a plan! We're going to have to jump for it."

"Are you insane!?"

"Look, it's simple physics," I said. "Force times the trajectory..."

My idea was simple and insane. As the boat struck, we would use its force like a springboard to jump the gate. With my one remaining winged shoe and a little luck, we would land on the other side of the pool. Annabeth seemed to understand. She gripped my hand as the gates got closer.

"I get the concept," She shouted. "Alright, on my mark!"

She hesitated...

"Annabeth?"

She hesitated a moment longer...

"Annabeth!"

"Now!" She shouted.

Crack!

Annabeth was right. If we'd jumped when I thought we should've, we would've crashed into the gates. She got us maximum lift. Our boat smashed into the pileup and we were thrown into the air, straight over the gates, over the pool, and down toward solid asphalt. The sole winged shoe flapped valiantly in an attempt to slow our descent, but it still wasn't enough. With a grunt of effort, I pulled Annabeth closer and positioned Ares' shield to take the full force of our landing. It still hurt like hell!

Annabeth and I tumbled to a stop, banged up but alive. Ares's shield was still on my arm. Once we caught our breath, Annabeth and I limped back over to Grover and Andromeda. I looked back at the Thrill Ride of Love. The water was subsiding. Our boat had been smashed to pieces against the gates. A hundred yards away, at the entrance pool, the Cupids were still filming. The statues had swiveled so that their cameras were trained straight on us, the spotlights in our faces.

"Show's over!" I yelled.

The Cupids turned back to their original positions. The lights shut off. The park went quiet and dark again, except for the gentle trickle of water into the Thrill Ride of Love's exit pool.