A/N Here's the last chapter of part two!
So before you run off, I have some good news and some bad news.
After nearly six months I am employed again! Which brings the bad news. My field is in construction management which can be very busy and taxing on one's brain. This will mean after part three I will no longer be able to update regularly. I am writing part four but it is much more difficult and I have found that I need to keep writing things out of order to keep any kind of momentum going. I have a lot I want to write for this story but it will take some time. I hope you are patient with me and that I can keep writing these things. Thank you for your support so far.
The Spaces Between - Part 2 Healing Iroh - Chapter 4
Zuko slipped under the covers beside her, the chill emanating from Katara made the blankets feel like sheets of ice. Putting a hand on her shoulder she allowed him to move her on her side but when he reached for her sash he felt her entire body go rigid. His hands faltered and he felt disgust for himself bloom in the pit of his stomach.
Her skin had to be in contact with his for this to work or she would only get worse as the night progressed. He knew the situation was pressing but this was never supposed to happen. The first time was just a fluke but here he was again, with her of all people and they were supposed to go further? Agni what did he do to be tormented like this? He had made peace with the fact that his disfigurement sentenced him to a life alone but again this peace was being upended, he did not want to curse himself with a lifetime of yearning.
Next to him Katara shuddered and curled into herself.
Zuko let out a breath, he had to settle with himself before he could help her. He accepted that he was destined to live life companionless and did all he could to make that fact hurt as little as possible but here he was literally honor-bound to do something. There was no reason for his shame, he harbored no ill intentions, this was about keeping her from succumbing to the claim nothing else. She may have consented but she was still afraid, if he was going to honor his promise and keep her from harm, he would need to allow her to find safety in him. Ironically in keeping his honor he would have to let go of his pursuit of it and with it, his pursuit of going home. Taking another deep breath he told himself 'Just for one night.' and with its release, he let loose the ties that bound him.
He pressed a steadying hand between Katara's shoulder blades and spoke quietly to her, "Katara, I made you a promise that I fully intend to honor. I can't ask you to trust in me but I need to ask you to trust in that promise again if I'm going to be the one to help you."
He could feel her nod.
"I need to hear it Katara."
A thread of pleading wound its way through his words, it tipped some invisible scale she did not know she had been keeping inside of herself. She was safe, it had become her mantra cycling in her head keeping her cold driven panic at bay. After a few breaths, she made her decision and chose her words purposefully.
"I will trust in you Zuko and your word." she told him faintly.
Uttering those words felt like a release that let the tension of fear drain from her limbs, finally letting her surrender herself to his guardianship.
Now the responsibility for Katara's life rested heavily on Zuko's shoulders, he used its weight to anchor himself.
Somewhere in him, her words set alight some small gladness that flickered in his tightly held darkness.
Neither was aware of the shift that took place in the world around them, paths closed, new ones opened, and what was to come realigned.
Sitting up in lotus he pushed the blankets off.
"I'm going to sit you up." he told her waiting for her to nod.
When she gave him the ok he pulled her up, positioning her in front of him. She continued to shiver and sway.
"I'm going to remove your sash and tunic," he said preparing her, "I need you to not be afraid to tell me to stop."
She nodded as her heart began to beat faster.
With a more confident dexterity, Zuko pulled firmly at her sash watching as it came loose and pooled at her hips. He unwound the white cloth from around her and placed it behind him. When he reached forward again Katara's arms wrapped around her waist and her shoulders came up to her ears. He drew back placing his hands on his knees.
"Would you like me to stop?"
She shook her head and giving him a quiet no. At first he didn't understand but looking around the well-lit room it occurred to him.
"Would you prefer if I snuffed the lamps?" he asked her quietly.
She nodded.
Zuko willed out the lamps and with the lowering of a hand, brought the fireplace down to a dim glow. He watched carefully as Katara's shoulders relaxed fractionally in the near darkness.
"Will you allow me to remove your tunic?" he continued to ask for her permission.
She nodded but nothing happened, still shivering she looked over her shoulder, his shirtless form sat behind her, hands on his knees and unmoving. She realized that he was stopping at any semblance of a no, silent or not, but would not proceed further until he heard her say yes. He may have been the one deciding what would transpire but he had yielded control of, if, how, and when it happened to her.
She turned to face forward again, willing her shoulders to relax she let her arms heavy with fatigue drop to her sides, "Yes, continue."
Zuko silently reached forward and slowly pulled apart the halves of her tunic taking care to not brush against her waist or bust. When it had opened fully, he slowly drew it down and off her shoulders exposing her sarashi and an expanse of smooth mocha skin. Zuko pulled the tunic free from her limbs and turned the garment around before bringing it in front of her.
"Put your arms through the sleeves." he directed her.
Katara complied allowing him to pull the backward-facing tunic over her shoulders, covering her front while leaving her back exposed. This way he could warm her core while still affording her some form of modesty.
Putting gentle pressure on Katara's shoulder he laid her back down on the bedroll. Zuko raised a hand to the fireplace stoking the dancing flames he brought the fire to a bright glow. Pulling the blankets over them he laid next to her. What had to happen next made him falter. The young woman that laid undressed before him, he was to embrace her as he would a lover. He had forbidden himself from this, from ever being close to another, he couldn't yearn for what he never experienced. She was in his charge but he had no way of knowing if this would break him down the line.
Katara squeezed her eyes shut as more shivers tore through her body. The cold was becoming unbearable, her muscles throbbed from the near-constant convulsing and weariness hung like weights on her bones. She could feel Zuko's hesitation behind her, once again he was having something he was sure he would never have dangled in front of. A part of her wanted to grieve for him but right now she needed him to give in.
"Zuko" Katara called his name through gritted teeth, "I need your help."
The pain in her voice jolted him out of his head and shattered whatever reservations he was clinging to.
Cursing his hesitation Zuko carefully slipped his hands beneath her opened tunic, grazing the bare skin of her waist he wound his arms around her. Pulling her flush against his chest, he let out a gasp, from the chill of her skin or feel of her melting against him, he wasn't sure which. Reaching into himself he found the spark that resided at his core and with it he set fire to his warring thoughts. They burned like dried kindling stoking a blaze inside of him. His heart was racing, his breathing was uneven and ragged. He needed to get control or he would burn her, gripping Katara tighter he let the feel of her shivering form be his anchor. He deepened his breathing bringing it to a slow rhythm that calmed the erratic beating of his heart. With a measured breath, he let the blaze roll outwards and spread beneath his skin.
The warmth started in his hands, with one splayed against her abdomen thumb pressed against her sternum, the other had dipped just below her waistband to grip her hip. She felt the heat build and spread to her sides as it worked its way up through his forearms, reaching his chest it bled into her wherever skin met skin. Vying for more contact he parted her legs with a knee before tangling their limbs.
He continued to steadily press more heat into her fighting back against the biting cold that seemed to emanate from inside her. Katara made a small strangled sound when she shuddered violently against him. He was realizing that she was going to get much worse before she got better.
He didn't really understand what made him do it, but he tucked her head under his chin, quietly murmuring, "I've got you."
She could feel herself thawing under his touch, the warmth penetrated her joints, untwining her muscles with a deep ache. The core of her still felt like ice, her body continued to shiver while Zuko slowly ate away at the frigidness inside her bit by bit.
Warming her was a slow process but he was already giving as much as he could without hurting her. Her shivering had slowed and her breathing was no longer slow and shallow, good signs that let him know they were making some kind of progress. She at some unknown point had gotten a handful of his trousers, in an iron hold she held the green fabric in her fists. He kept murmuring small bits of comfort to her, giving in to an inexplicable want to quell her fear. Her teeth would still chatter every so often and he'd rub small circles on her hip with his thumb every time she did.
The claim was stronger than they thought. Zuko had been chipping away at it for what, in her exhaustion, felt like hours soothing her as he went. It was greatly weakened but it refused to yield its hold, their progress felt stalled leaving what felt like a sliver of ice embedded in her chest. She needed him to give one last push to break the claim's grip.
"Zuko," she turned her head from its place beneath his chin to look up at him, "you have to give me more."
He shook his head, "No, any hotter and I risk burning you."
"It's not enough, the claim is too strong and it's not letting me go." she persisted.
Zuko was silent.
He felt her look back down, "You can't keep this up forever, you're going to wear out just like I did and the claim will just take hold again."
Her voice was weary and still tinged with fear, he hated that she was right. Keeping himself warm was one thing, actively transferring that warmth to another person in a controlled state made him feel like he had been doing wall sits for hours. He had to give her enough to break the claim's last hold but not so much he hurt her.
"You can feel it?" Zuko queried.
He felt her nod from where he had tucked her beneath his chin.
He unclenched his jaw and gave a reluctant sigh, "I can give you more but you have to tell me as soon as the hold breaks.", he felt more nodding from her.
Zuko silently asked Agni for blessings and forgiveness for what he was about to do. He released his hold on her hip and shifted them, laying his forearm across her so his hand gripped her shoulder keeping his right hand on her abdomen. He stoked the flame that resided within him and held it.
"Are you ready?" he checked in with her.
Katara paused, she reached up to her neck and tugged the tunic down low enough to expose her collarbone and revealing where Zuko's pale skin sat in stark contrast to the mocha of her own. Looking for something to hold on to she wrapped her hand around Zuko's bared forearm where it laid against her chest. Breathing deeply she closed her eyes and found the last fragment of the claim's hold within her.
Keeping her eyes tightly shut she nodded, "Ready."
Zuko slackened his control allowing the hold on his fire to gradually release. Concentrating on everywhere his skin met hers he let more heat pool into her creating a slow build. Her grip on his forearm tightened and she grit her teeth as it built but still she said nothing.
His hands poured heat into her, they had become hot, nearly burning against her skin. She could feel the shard melting away but the claim's grip grew desperately tighter, it was like a building pressure that threatened to break her.
The growing heat and the claim's tightening grip warred inside of her. The intensity made her clench her teeth and sink her nails into Zuko's forearm, it was too much to hold on to, she felt like she was drowning as it pushed her to her limit when finally, it shattered.
Zuko held her as she gasped and finally screamed, "ENOUGH!"
A heartbeat later he cut the heat pouring from him and letting drain back to his center.
"Did the hold break?" he asked her desperately.
She nodded vigorously, "Yes" the single word was all she could manage between one gasping breath and another.
Relief rolled through him fatigue following close behind, settling like lead into his limbs. Despite this, he held on to her tremoring form giving her a mainstay as she calmed. He waited until Katara's breathing became slow and deep and he no longer felt her heart thundering against her chest. Gently he began untangling his limbs from hers, his attempts to extricate himself had only begun when her grip on his forearm came alive.
"Stay." a single-worded request made somewhere in the realm between wake and sleep was all he got. It was enough, complying he gathered his charge, gently pulling her against him and let exhaustion pull him under to a night of deep sleep.
...
Iroh awakened in the early hours before dawn, not unusual for him. As he had gotten older, sleep became less and less of a requirement. Though he found himself staring at the ceiling he did not recognize, had they found shelter? He couldn't remember, it didn't matter, all could be fixed by a good cup of tea. Moving to get up he winced and let out a hiss as it all came rushing back. Tea with the interesting young blind woman, finding Zuko, finding out the young woman was allied with the Avatar and finally Azula. Anger would have welled in most but all he had was pity for his young niece, he might yet save her from her father's grasp one day but for now, he would have to try his best in guiding Zuko down the right path.
Needing to see what damage his niece had done he pulled away his tunic from where it had been laid across him. He braced himself for the worst only to find nothing. Confusion settled in, the bandages covered no burn, nor wound just the familiar ache of bruised and fractured ribs. Carefully he propped himself up in search of Zuko and found the answer to his questions.
His raven-haired nephew was tucked into his bedroll alongside a familiar-looking young woman. It was then he felt that things had once again shifted while he slept. The path, while still painful was becoming more clear. A sad smile formed on the old man's mouth. They were still so young, too young to be tested like this, but the path these five walked, while treacherous, would ultimately pull the world from the darkness that had befallen it. For now though, he lowered himself back onto his cot, he would let them rest.
...
The rising sun resonated with the living spark that resided in him, every morning it pulled him begrudgingly from sleep. He took in a deep breath and let out a grumble, daylight had barely broken and he was already hot. Cracking an eye open Zuko saw black brown waves fanned out around him. He seized for a moment as the night's events resurfaced and the surprise of finding himself tangled up in Katara quickly wore off. Sometime in the night, she had turned to bury her face in his chest and thrown an arm around his waist.
This would never be real, at least not for him. He knew he shouldn't, this small bliss would cause him a tenfold of pain later, yet he let his eyes slip shut and allowed himself to hold on to the illusion for a few minutes longer. He should try to keep her, demand where the Avatar was but he couldn't leave Uncle behind. After all that had transpired between them, should he? Did he want to keep her because of his pursuit of the Avatar and his honor, or was it something else? She may be a daughter of Tui and La but he was playing with fire. When the sun crept a little higher and pulled at his consciousness more urgently he knew it was time to let her go.
"Katara." he shook her gently, "Katara, you need to get back."
She hid her face deeper in his chest, where the scent of cinnamon, smoke, and citrus got her attention. Pulling back she glanced up to find the scarred prince looking back at her. Zuko watched as surprise, confusion, and realization flashed across her face. She sat up causing the tunic to slip off her shoulders.
"I need to get back, they don't know I'm he-" her words fell panicked from her mouth but Zuko's look of horror made her freeze.
She followed his gaze to her shoulder where a handprint stood out against her skin in a deep crimson. Ignoring her earlier concerns of modesty she pulled the tunic off her front to find another where his hand had laid against her abdomen. Rolling up the last rows of her sarashi revealed where his thumb had marked her sternum. Running her fingertips across the slightly raised marks she found no damage, just some soreness, and irritation that, from her experience, would disappear in a few days. She sighed in relief, as long as she got to take a bath alone later, she wouldn't have to explain anything. She didn't know what she was expecting to see when she looked back to Zuko to explain but the deep shame that rested on his features wasn't it.
He backed away from her as the familiar feeling of disgust filled the pit of his stomach "Katara, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
She knew where this was going, she saw the same pain she found in him at the riverbank. The rising sun urged her to leave reminding her of Toph's warning. She might not have much time and the person before her was still her enemy but she'd be damned if she became a part of whatever burden he carried.
"I don't have much time, please look at me." his golden gaze found her blue one, its fierceness catching him off guard. Grabbing his hand she pulled it to her stomach pressing it against his mark.
"To break the claim of the ice, you may need to let yourself be claimed by another." she recited Gran-gran's words to him.
"That's what you did, I promise you these marks will disappear but right now they show that you claimed me, you held your promise and kept me alive." she told him firmly, "You did not hurt me, do you understand?"
He nodded quietly. She had more to say, anything to banish the pain from his features but it was not her place. He was her adversary but with everything that had transpired here the lines had blurred, they both knew it but it would have to remain unspoken. She had to get back, Sokka and Aang wouldn't understand what he had done for her let alone why she had done what she did, they would just feel betrayed.
She let go of his hand and stood up shedding her tunic and pulling it back on correctly. Holding it closed she searched around for her sash, turning she found Zuko looking at the wall while holding out a neatly folded strip of white cloth to her. She couldn't help the small smile that formed on her lips. Taking it from him she wrapped it around her waist tucking and securing her tunic before grabbing her waterskin. She hurried for the door and stopped, thinking better of it she spun around and strode back toward the bedroll where Zuko sat looking at her curiously.
Kneeling she pulled him into an embrace. His reaction was automatic, wrapping her up in him he brought her flush against his bare skin holding her tightly, she fit perfectly in the circle of his arms. Katara murmured a quiet thank you in his ear before tearing herself away and disappearing through the door. He watched the door for a few long minutes as an empty feeling quietly settled over him.
...
Katara hurried back to the others, racing against the daylight she made it back in half the time it took her the night before. So much had happened in those few hours, it felt like she had left camp days ago. She finally relaxed when Toph's 'stairs' came into view, the earthbender sat cross-legged on the bottom stair hands pressed into the earth. She spoke when a breathless Katara was finally within earshot.
"Hiya Sweetness, I was about to call the cavalry."
"Are they still asleep? We're you out here all night? Did they realize I was gone?" Katara'a barrage of questions tumbled out.
"Yes, no, no."
"Oh, good." Katara sighed.
"So what took you all night?"
Katara fumbled suddenly acutely aware of the marks that laid beneath her clothes.
"I uh, overdid it." she explained turning red. "I was able to heal most of the damage but I passed out before I could finish."
Toph gave her a worried look.
"Iroh is fine, the burn is gone and it's just a couple of fractured ribs. They'll heal on their own in a week or two." she assured the younger bender.
"Ok." Toph nodded somewhat relieved, if she noticed that Katara omitted half the story she made no mention of it.
"Hey, what are you guys doing down there?" Sokka called causing Katara to nearly jumped out of her skin.
"We're having girl talk, now scram." Toph yelled back to him.
"You do girl talk?" Sokka called back confused.
"I'm a girl, aren't I?"
"Well yes, but-"
"But what Snoozles?" Toph by this time had stood up and turned to face Sokka with her hand on her hips
"Uh, nothing, nothing at all. I'm just gonna go pack." Sokka quickly disappeared from the edge of the plateau.
"Come on Sugar Queen, let's get up there before they break something."
Katara chuckled and climbed the makeshift stairs alongside Toph and joined the boys. They talked and joked, getting breakfast together and packing up to leave. When they were almost done Aang approached Katara while she packed her unused bedroll.
"Hey, Katara?"
"Yes Aang?" she answered continuing to fold her blankets.
"Are you ok?"
"Of course." she said without looking up from her work, "Why?"
"You just seem different."
Katara stopped, "How so?"
"I dunno, it's just like something changed between yesterday and today."
"I guess yesterday when we all worked together against Azula, it blurred some lines for me." she gave Aang a half-truth and waited.
Aang thought on it for a moment, "I know what you mean, Monk Gyatso once told me no person is born good or bad and even if they're born into a situation that puts them in the light or the dark, they can always find their way to one or the other. Zuko might have been born into a dark situation but I think one day he will find his way to the light."
Katara's hand found itself pressed to the mark on her abdomen, "I hope you're right Aang."
Aang hugged her his thoughts going back to the Blue Spirit.
He spoke into her marked shoulder, "I hope so too, I don't think I want Zuko to be my enemy."
"Me either."
...
"Something seems to be on your mind nephew." Iroh addressed Zuko who had seemed to be lost in his cup.
"It's nothing uncle."
"Would it have something to do with that young waterbender that travels with the Avatar? You two seemed quite cozy last night."
Zuko reddened but made no show of astonishment, he had learned to not be surprised by what his uncle seemed to find out.
"It's not what you think."
"I should thank Master Katara for healing me but it seems you have already done so." Iroh continued ignoring his nephew's words.
"That's not what happened." Zuko growled his face growing hot.
"It should come as no surprise, you are of that age and like any red-blooded hotman you too would want to take part in the bedding of young maidens."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED." he roared slamming his cup on the wooden floor.
"I'm sorry nephew, tell me then, what did happen."
Playing into Iroh''s gambit Zuko quickly recounted the night's events to him.
"After Katara healed you, she passed out from exhaustion. When she came to she got impossibly cold. Somehow she had been claimed by the ice in the middle of a desert town. We tried to warm her but it wasn't working. I had to use my firebending," Zuko's head dropped as he spoke, "to claim her."
Holding his chin between his thumb and forefinger Iroh spoke "It would seem that in trying to heal me despite her exhaustion she pushed herself too far. It upset her internal balance and turned her own bending against her." he looked to Zuko, "But by laying your claim on Katara you were able to break the claim of the ice. It makes sense, fire balances water after all."
"When we woke up this morning," Zuko's shoulders slumped and his eyes remained glued to the floor, "my hands were scorched on her body."
Iroh understood now.
"Dear nephew, you are not your father my child. What he did in unbridled anger was a vindictive show of power. You on the other hand, what you did was an honorable act undertaken with the most prudent care. Those marks may disappear in the capable hands of a healer such as she but when you laid your claim on her, you saved that young woman's life"
Iroh smiled, arching his brow he took Zuko's hand in his, "Besides, what ever made you think you could claim a remarkable young woman like her without being claimed yourself?"
Confused Zuko looked to where his uncle cradled his arm. Iroh turned his nephew's forearm to reveal four blood-stained half-moons cut into his skin.
"Your destiny is intertwined with theirs nephew, it seems especially so with Master Katara. Meeting them again is inevitable but what happens then will be entirely up to you."
Zuko ran his fingertips across the sore breaks in his skin, they were sure to scar but somehow he didn't mind.
Somewhere miles away in Appa's saddle, Katara laid a hand on her stomach, over the mark she couldn't quite get herself to completely erase.
A/N I've been reading all of your comments and I want to say thank you so much. I have been doing so much research and re-watching of the series to make sure each character reflects where they were in their development in the show in order to get these added bits to fit as seamlessly into those spaces between the episodes as I can. (My Onenote right now is covered in bits, references and notes and all around makes me look like a madwoman ^_^''') I'm really glad to know the work I've been putting in has been worth it and that I've been successful so far in doing the character's justice.
Just a head's up part 3 is done very differently since it takes place after the fall of Ba Sing Se and will go up in two chapters.