Chapter 7
His phone buzzes from his nightstand and he rolls over groggily, glancing at the clock. 2 am.
Reaching for it, he glances at the caller ID.
Liv.
He scrambles to accept the call. "Liv? Are you alright?"
"...Rafa...I..."
The distress in her voice is clear and he turns on his beside lamp, getting out of bed. "Are you safe?" He questions. "Is Noah safe?"
"Yes," she answers. "...I just...can't catch my breath...and I just need you to..."
His brain finally catches up with him and he recognizes her anxiety attack. "You need me talk," he answers for her. "Well, you've called the right person." He manages to make her laugh, and he moves to his closet throwing on a pair of jeans. "I've been meaning to tell you something."
"...what's that?"
"How in awe I am of you," he admits. Going to his dresser, he pulls out a sweater, pulling it over his head. Tugging it down around his torso, he grabs a pair of shoes heading to the living room. "How you inspire me to want to take on the world, Liv...working with you, makes me fulfilled in way I never was in the Bronx."
Grabbing his keys, he heads out the door, locking up behind him. His apartment complex is silent, and the elevator comes immediately when he presses the button.
"It's your passion for justice and empathy for the victims-"
"-survivors," she corrects.
He gets off the elevator in the parking garage, and he presses his keys, unlocking his car. "- survivors," he agrees. Sliding into the drivers seat, he connects his phone through the bluetooth. "You're phenomenal at what you do, Liv. I respect you so much, your opinions and your instincts are unparalleled." Traffic is surprisingly non-existent this early in the morning and it's a quick drive to her apartment. He miraculously finds a spot right out front and he parks, getting out.
"I love that you challenge me," he continues, waving to her doorman, gesturing for him to let him in. His steps quicken as he's buzzed through the doors, heading towards the elevator. "I love that you call me on my bullshit and hold me accountable. You make me want to be better." He's grateful the call doesn't drop in the evaluator and when he finally makes it to her floor, she's waiting for him, leaning in the doorway of her apartment.
Hanging up his phone, he goes to her. Her eyes are red and swollen and it looks like she hasn't slept but if anything, she looks to be breathing easier. He rubs her arm gently. "You ok?"
She exhales, moving back in to her apartment. He follows, closing the door and turning the lock behind him.
"...I've been tossing and turning all night...waiting to hear another knock at my door. And just when I close my eyes..." She shakes her head, wiping her eyes. "...all I can see is him...and my skin is crawling and I'm afraid that two more officers are going to show up at my door in the morning to...take Noah," the words catch in her throat. "It's a constant loop, Rafa."
She's pacing her living room, her thoughts caging her in and he's not sure what to do for her, how to help. "What do you need from me, Liv?" He questions gently. "Tell me what you need, cariño."
Closing her eyes, she rubs her forehead. "...I'm so tired, Rafa," she whispers.
"Ok." He kicks off his shoes, holding out his hand to her. "You need sleep. Your anxiety won'tlet you. I'll stay so you sleep."
Liv takes his hand and he leads them back to her bedroom. She climbs back into her bed and she's both surprised and relieved when he sits with her, his back to her headboard. She pulls her pillow next his hip, settling next to him.
His hand goes to her hair, running through it gently. "...and just for the record, I meant every word," he says softly. "...I think you've been the best thing to happen to me, Olivia Benson."
She closes her eyes, letting his fingers lull her to sleep.
...
His alarm buzzes from his pocket, waking him, and it takes him a minute to register his surroundings. Sometime throughout the night he had ended up sliding down the bed to sleep next to her, and her head is laying on his chest, her arm wrapped around his torso.
He fishes his phone out of his pocket carefully, and her face frowns at his alarm, her head tipping up to burying in the crook of his neck. Her leg is twined with his and her body pressed up against him and he feels downright saintly for not waking up half hard.
He shuts off his alarm, letting his fingers sift through her hair. "What time does Noah need to be awake?" He whispers.
"...7...leave the house by 7:45," she murmurs sleepily.
He can feel her drift back to sleep almost immediately, and he takes the half hour he has to compose a quick email to Carmen, letting her know that he'd be running late, before checking to make sure Judge Linden hadn't rescheduled on him. There are a dozen new emails in his inbox, and he scans them for importance.
There's one from Rita. Opening it, he reads it carefully.
Barba:
I've managed to convince my client that petitioning for immediate guardianship wouldn't be in the best interest of the child. She would, however, hypothetically like to petition the court for a financial disclosure and a psychological evaluation.
Hypothetically, thought you might want to know.
Rita
He quickly sends a reply, thanking her hypothetically for the heads up before composing another email to Langan.
Extracting himself from her is no easy feat, and if he's honest with himself, the last thing he wants to do. Pulling the blankets up around her, he presses a kiss to her forehead before going to wake Noah.
...
He opens the door to Noah's room gently, a little unsure what to do. Not particularly a morning person himself, he's learned that routine and discipline are what make the early mornings bearable for himself.
Kneeling next to his bed, he flicks on the star light on his beside table. "Noah, amguito," he begins gently. "Time to wake up."
Noah rolls over, yawning. His curly hair is tousled and the blankets are a bit of mess and he hugs his stuffed elephant tighter to his chest. "5 more minutes," he barters sleepily.
Rafael smiles, rubbing his back. "No can do, amguito...you don't want to be late."
The little boy stretches before opening his eyes. It takes him a minute to register that it's him,
and the smile spreads across his face. "Uncle Rafa! You're here!"
"I promised, didn't I?"
...
It's clear that Liv and Noah have a a well oiled morning routine, and all Rafael has to do is make sure his lunch and backpack are packed.
Noah sits across from him at the island, eating the toast, yogurt and fruit he had made for him at his request, while he sips the coffee he had made.
"Were you here the whole night, Uncle Rafa?" Noah questions, taking a bite of his peanut butter toast.
He doesn't want to lie to him, but he also doesn't want to alarm him to how Liv was feeling last night. "Why do ask?" He questions casually.
"Because you're wearing different clothes."
"You're a good detective."
Noah tilts his head, pointing a finger at him. "And you didn't answer my question."
He can't help but chuckle. "And maybe a good lawyer too...I wasn't here all night. I came back this morning." It's not a complete lie, and he finishes his coffee, placing the mug in the sink. "You better finish up; we have to leave soon. I'm going to check on your mom."
Noah nods, and he pours another cup of coffee, heading back towards her bedroom. She's just as he had left her and he sits on the edge of the bed. "Liv," he calls gently. He doesn't want to chance touching her, not sure where her dreams are at right now. He waits patiently, letting the coffee stir her.
She rolls over, rubbing her face. "What time is it?"
"7:30."
"Shit...Noah's going to be late-"
"-he's up and dressed, currently finishing up his breakfast."
Opening her eyes, she looks over at him. It takes her a minute to recall everything that happened earlier that morning and she sits up in her bed. He offers her the cup of coffee, and she accepts it gratefully.
Reaching out, he tucks a tendril of her hair behind her ear gently. "I'm going to go pack Noah's lunch. Anything in particular I should include?"
For as long as she and Ed had been together, she can count on one hand the amount of times he had changed a diaper, offered to get up with Noah in the middle of the night. Brain had never asked too many questions and acted as if her son hadn't existed.
"He doesn't like the crusts on his sandwiches," she answers.
"Got it."
He presses a kiss to her forehead before heading back out into the kitchen and she's not sure he releases he did it.
Or maybe he had.
She sips her coffee, not surprised that it's exactly how she likes it.
...
By the time she emerges from her bedroom, Rafael is cleaning up the remnants of Noah's breakfast while her son gathers his jacket and his shoes.
"Morning, Mom," he greets happily. "Uncle Rafa's here to take me to school!"
She nods, tying the belt to her robe around her waist. "Morning, sweet boy. Have you got everything?"
Noah nods, sitting to put on his shoes.
"There's some breakfast in the oven for you, if you're hungry," he comments, coming around the island to kneel and help Noah tie his shoes.
"You didn't have to-"
"-I wanted to," he answers assuredly.
Noah gets to his feet, grabbing his coat and Rafael slips into his own shoes.
She's a little flustered, and she can't place the mix of emotions that are running through her right now.
Relief.
Appreciation.
Arousal.
She pushes that last thought aside. "Ok, have a great day at school."
Noah moves to give her a hug and she returns it tightly, kissing the top of his curly head. Rafael grabs his back pack, meeting her gaze and she can feel the slow burn in the pit of her stomach.
"It's raining so I'm going to take your car."
She nods. "Of course." She walks them to the door, and Noah heads to the elevator to press the button. She catches his hand before he can go, holding him back. "Thank you."
He squeezes her hand. "No need to thank me...just let me be present, Liv."
The elevator dings and his gaze dances with hers and she can't help but look at his mouth and that lopsided grin of his suddenly does things to her that it hadn't before.
"I won't be long."
...
He pulls up out front of Noah's school, and as he unbuckles himself, Rafael grabs his backpack from the passenger side, getting out. The rain has let up, but he still pulls Noah's hood up over his head as he helps him into his backpack. "Alright, amguito. Have a great day, ok?"
Noah smiles, wrapping his arms around him so tight that he has to kneel to his level, wanting to feel his hug properly.
"Will I see you after school?" He questions into his shoulder. "I'm not sure, but you can FaceTime me, alright?"
Noah nods, pulling back "Ok."
Other children are running past them into the building as the rain picks up and he rises to his feet. "You better get going before you melt!"
Noah follows his classmates into the building and he can't help but feel as if he's taking a piece of him with him.
...
He had stayed all night and got her son ready for school. He had loaded her dishwasher and made her an omelette, leaving a fresh pot of coffee for her. And if that hadn't been overwhelming enough, Rafael had texted her when he was on his way back letting her know that he was going to use her key to let himself in, sending her his location so that she knew exactly when.
He was present.
She catches herself smiling in her empty kitchen and her immediate reaction is to stop, to put the walls back up again.
His location dings, and she glances at her phone. He's stopped at the coffee shop around the corner and she just knows he's going to return with her favourite muffins.
Sighing, she buries her face in her hands, letting the smile cross her face.
When her phones dings a few minutes later letting her know that he's in the building, her stomach flips a little when the key turns in her lock and he lets himself in. He's a little wet from the rain, and he slips his shoes off hanging her keys back on the hook by the door.
She can already smell the muffins and she bites back her smile. "Is it raining hard?"
He joins her in the kitchen, placing the box of muffins in front of her. "Just started...I got you some muffins...I thought you could take them to the squad."
"Rafa...I don't know what to say..."
He runs his fingers through his wet hair. "You don't need to say anything."
The island is between them and she reaches across it for his hand. His thumb sweeps over the back of hers sending a jolt of electricity through her body. The rain pounds against her windows and something new is settling between them in the silence of her apartment.
"...I should probably go."
"Yeah, ok," she agrees unsurely. Sliding off her stool, she circles the island following him to the door. He grabs his keys from the hook beside hers and her heart is practically in her throat. He hesitates by the door and she's closing the space between them and her gaze dips to his mouth just as his does the same.
He leans in, and she presses her lips to his tentatively.
Her phone conveniently rings just as his buzzes from his pocket.
Before she can pull away, he kisses her fully, surely, so there's no mistaking what this is between them. His fingers snake through her hair, his other wrapping around her waist and she settles into him as easily as she had the night before on her couch. He tastes of coffee and smells of her sheets and his cologne and his lips are so incredibly gentle that she sighs involuntarily.
"Don't be shy," he breathes against her mouth.
Their phones are still ringing and she pushes him back until he hits the door.
"That's it," he praises, taking her weight against his body.
"Rafa." She can feel the heat pooling between her thighs and it had been so painfully long since she felt this way, it takes her by surprise. She pulls back in an attempt to gain some form of control and she can feel the heat rising in her face.
"Don't be embarrassed," he assures. "I'm right there with you, Liv."
Pressed to his body like this, she can feel how his chest is rising and falling rapidly, see the arousal blown in his green eyes.
Her house phone blares, startling them both, and they untangle themselves from each others embrace. She crosses to the kitchen, picking up the house phone. "Benson."
He's answering his own phone. "Barba."
Tbc