The night brings different things to Katara and Zuko

Part 4 - Mirrors - Shard 5/11 - Loss

Aang was gone, he was still hurt and despite her warnings, he still left. How could he be so selfish? Defeating the Fire Nation would take all of them, he might be the Avatar but he wasn't alone, couldn't he see that?

In his rush to feel useful again, Aang had crossed the blockade into Fire Nation territory. They needed to go after him but taking the ship meant risking capture and getting everyone on board imprisoned or worse. They would have to get across undetected and their best chance of doing that was with Appa. It was quickly decided that she, Sokka, and Toph would cross to find Aang, but as her brother pointed out, it would be a one-way trip. Once they made it through the blockade they couldn't return or they risked the Fire Nation discovering that Aang was still alive.

Right now, Sokka and her father were frantically pouring over the ship's countless maps. They had to quickly plot a course through the Fire Nation that allowed the two groups to meet at the Black Cliffs in time for the invasion. Bato, Pipsqueak, and the Duke were busy dividing their already limited supplies and packing Appa's saddle. She was supposed to be gathering medicine and any other odds and ends they might need. Instead, tears kept streaming down her face blurring her vision as she fumbled around her room grabbing this, that, and the next. They were going to find Aang, join him, and make sure he was ready to face the Fire Lord on the Day of Black Sun. But right now all she could think is that it wasn't fair. After keeping him at arm's length for weeks she finally had made up with her father, and now? Now they were leaving. She knew it had been her decision to be distant, to be short with him, but it was only now that she realized why she acted the way she did. Until now, she hadn't fully understood where her anger at her father had been coming from. That as much as she understood his duty to their people, the little girl who had lost her mother couldn't help but feel abandoned by him.

She had hung on to her anger and her pain, turning it on others and hurting those closest to her just like- molten gold eyes filled with anger and hurt flashed in her head -just like him. On reflex, her hand pressed to her abdomen. Was this what he felt? Anger and pain twisted together constantly cutting him up from the inside? No, his actions had no excuse, and nor did hers. Wiping away her tears, she let her hand drop from her stomach, pulled on her cloak, and closed the door to her room. It was time to join the others and to once again, say goodbye to her father.

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Zuko crept back to his room avoiding the ever-present staff that tried to attend to his every need. Closing the door he quickly shed his boots and cloak. The sun would be up in a few hours and he needed to get some sleep while he still could. Loosening his sash he pulled off his tunic and let both drop to the floor. Slipping between the cool silk sheets he climbed into bed and did his best to close his eyes against the buzzing thoughts in his head. The events of the last few hours unsettled him, seeing his father, Azula baiting him, the late-night meeting. Was he crazy?

He had felt apprehension when he approached the throne room, he wasn't sure what he would find, but Father told him he had redeemed himself, Agni he even welcomed him home. Then he found out that Azula had given him the credit for killing the Avatar. She may have given him the glory but charity was not among his sister's virtues. She was simply covering her bases and to be honest he couldn't blame her.

Even without Azula's tampering, his father's welcome felt ill-fitting, like wearing a tunic that was too big and too small at the same time. He couldn't understand why. Isn't this what he had been waiting for, for over three years? Was he being an ungrateful son? Iroh had helped shape his way of thinking in the last few years. Of course he would try to change him, the old man was a traitor. Fighting with his sheets Zuko rolled over. No, as much as he had been told that over and over, that belief felt off.

He was home, where he belonged, so why didn't he fit? Was his father right, had his travels altered him so much?

Tear-filled cerulean eyes flashed across his mind's eye making his golden ones shoot open. Was she the reason? Did she change him so much in what amounted to only a handful of hours? He held up his forearm in the darkness, he didn't need to see them to know the silvery crescent scars were there. No, he let his hand drop back to the mattress, she was just some peasant. He felt like this because he had been away for so long he told himself. With time he would acclimate, returning to his old self and finding his place, his fit, here in the palace.

Until then, he would do anything to protect what he had fought for, for so long. He was finally home in his rightful place among his family and his people. He couldn't lose it and he would hold on to it as tightly as possible, no matter what it took. His late-night comings and goings had taken him to a silent fire bender who bore Shiva's third eye. From what he had heard, the man was discreet, relentless, and very good at what he did. He would ensure that Zuko would never lose his home again.

Katara grieves for her father as she leaves to chase after Aang and Zuko has made a terrible decision to protect something he isn't even sure is his. It gets better ... eventually.

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