Chapter 15

There are many things, she's realizing, that she finds incredibly attractive about Rafael: the way he wears a three piece suit and his confidence in the courtroom; his compassion for the victims; his smile and his laughter, especially because they're so rare. Rafael has Noah cocooned in his arms, his back to his chest and his curly head tucked under his chin and the way he loves and cares for her son makes her practically yearn for him.

Careful not to wake them, Olivia climbs out of bed heading towards the bathroom. The puke bucket sits empty in the bathtub and she notices his travel bag on the counter, his toothbrush placed next to hers in the fancy toothbrush holder, his contact case on the sink.

She smiles, biting her lip.

The sight of his things in her space, next to hers, causes a warmth to settle deep in her chest.

A future with him materializes in her mind and while rationally she attempts to talk herself out of it, there's a bigger part inside of her, a part that has been growing in ways she has never felt, dares to want it.

Staring at herself in the mirror, Olivia attempts to reason with herself.

This is too much, too fast.

But the alternative?

She could have handled everything with Noah last night; it wasn't the first all nighter and certainly wouldn't be the last. But it was nice to not have to. Sharing the load with him and knowing that he was there to help her in whatever way he could had made the night less burdensome.

You can call Lucy, Amanda, hell, even Fin if you need help.

True. And she has leaned on her babysitter and her friends when she needed the extra help.

But you want his help.

She wants him, Olivia admits to herself.

Shit.

Shit indeed.

...

"Noah woke up last night with the stomach bug."

"Damn, how's he doing?" Fin questions.

Liv waits for her coffee machine to come to life, placing the coffee pod in the compartment pressing the start button. "He's still sound asleep so I guess time will tell."

"If you need anything, let me know and I'll go out and grab it for you."

The bag from the pharmacy is still on her counter, and she had to smile at the array of items Rafael had purchased the night before. "Will do. Keep me posted if anything pressing comes up?"

"I've got it under control; you worry about little man."

They say their goodbyes just as she hears shuffling from down the hall. Rafael turns the corner into the kitchen, yawning. His bed head makes her smile and the stubble on his face still makes her want to feel it all over her body.

"You look like you could use a few more hours of sleep."

He waves her off heading to her cupboards for a mug. Sliding it across the counter towards her, she loads another coffee pod into the machine placing his mug underneath. "This may come as a surprise to you, but I'm not exactly a morning person."

Resting against the counter, she takes a sip of her coffee. "And yet you're a lawyer," she teases. He chuckles and his voice is still thick with sleep and it tickles her ears in a good way.

Leaning against the counter next to her he reaches for her mug, too impatient to wait for his own. "It takes a great deal of discipline on my part," he admits, sipping from her mug.

She lets him keep it, making another when the machine is ready. "I'm sorry for leaving you to handle Noah by yourself last night; you should have woken me."

Rafael shakes his head. "It's fine, really...he only vomited twice and was out like a light shortly after."

Reaching for his hand, she twines her fingers with his tugging him towards her. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, Liv...being here with you and Noah...vomit and all," he looks down at their joined hands. "...there's a lot about my life that I've resigned to just not being in the cards for me and now..." His gaze meets hers, letting what he's not saying settle between them. She slides into him and he sets the mug on the counter to wrap her in his arms. "...you'd tell me, if this was too much, too fast?"

Her throat tightens, the walls she had been tearing down poised for rebuilding. "Is that how you feel?"

He shakes his head. "...it actually scares me a little how much I want this," he confesses. "I mean, I spent the night cleaning up vomit and it's the happiest I've ever been." Tears fill her eyes and he frames his hands around her face, wiping them away gently with his thumbs. "...I'm falling hard and fast here, Liv, and I just need to know how you're feeling."

"It's not too much too soon," she admits softly. "...I'm so used to...doing it all on my own and it's really nice, Rafa, having you to share the load with." His green eyes dance with hers and she knows that's not the answer he had wanted to hear. "...I want this, Rafa. I want you."

He leans in, mating his lips to hers and she presses her body flush against him. He hums his approval into her mouth and his hands fall from her face to untie her robe, sliding his arms around her body. She cups his face, loving the feel of his stubble under her fingers.

They kiss, in the silence of her kitchen, allowing each other the rare few minutes alone together to just feel, to say what words just can't. He tastes like mint and coffee and when his lips tease hers open, she seeks his tongue in a timid introduction.

A smile spreads across his lips and his hands run up and down her back gently. "Don't be shy," he breathes into her mouth.

She deepens the kiss and he groans against her mouth, causing her to smile a little and arousal to unfurl inside of her. Pressed to his body with only both of their thin t-shirts between them, she can feel her nipples hardening against his chest. He seems to notice too, both his hands sliding up her body to brush the backs of his hands against them gently.

His touch causes her to shudder, and she pulls back dropping her forehead to his. "Are these an erogenous spot for you?" He questions.

"I don't know," she answers breathlessly. He lets the backs of his hands brush against her again and the sensation is palpable.

His index fingers circle them slowly through her t-shirt. "Do you like to be teased here, Liv?"

Closing her eyes, she whimpers a little under his touch. "I guess, yeah."

"You guess?" He repeats. "Does it bring you pleasure?"

He tugs on them gently and her legs almost give out. "Rafa," she groans, her lips brushing against his.

"Does it bring you pleasure?" He questions again, lips against hers.

"Yes...Rafa..."

"You're so beautiful, Liv...hearing you groan my name like that..."

Licking her lips, she attempts to reign in what he's so effortlessly coaxed out of her. She's practically panting with want and she has just enough of her senses to put some space between them. His gaze rakes over her and the heat pools between her thighs immediately.

"I'm going to go check on Noah," she manages to choke out.

...

"So he's 19?" Fin questions, looking in on the boy and his father in the interrogation room.

"And autistic," Carisi adds.

"And she's 15 and says that he raped her?"

" Rollins doesn't think she understood what the word meant. I get the sense this is a Romeo and Juliet scenario here...should we call Liv?"

Fin shakes his head. "No we don't call Liv. She's at home with a sick kid." "So what do we do?"

"We take his statement and wait on the rape kit, take it to Barba and figure out if we got a crime. You cool with that plan?"

"Yeah, I'm cool, Sarge."

Fin gives him a look and Carisi just smiles, heading into the interrogation room. "Take the exam already, would ya?"

He listens in on the interrogation, and Amanda joins him not long after.

"Something about this doesn't feel right, Fin," Amanda worries.

He looks over at her. "How so?"

She shrugs, crossing her arms against her chest. "The rape kit came back negative for trauma, seman, so whatever they did seems like it was consensual."

Fin nods. "Barba's not gonna prosecute with that."

"Have you been able to get ahold of him this morning?" She questions.

He shakes his head. "Every time I call his office, I get put on hold."

Amanda chews her lip. "It's the girls mother, Fin...Jesse had a fever last week and of course I was concerned, but I didn't rush to the ER."

"What are you saying, Amanda?"

"I don't know...look, I know the mom's been through a lot but-"

"-you think there's an issue."

"I had Warner check Mariel's tox screen."

"And?"

She looks over at him. "If she's incapacitated, we're looking at something completely different...we gotta tell Liv."

Carisi finishes the interrogation, joining them in the hallway. "We gotta tell Liv what?" He questions.

"Amanda thinks somethings up with the Mom," Finn answers. "Look, I'll go down and see what Melinda's got, and I'll make the call whether or not to tell Liv."

Amanda nods. "Ok."

"You and the M.E are on a first name basis, huh?" Carisi ribs. "Something going on there, Sarge?"

Fin shakes his head, irritated. "Man, shut up."

Carisi laughs and Amanda is grinning beside him.

"Ya'll are worse than my mother...track down the other paediatricians while I'm gone."

...

"103," she sighs.

Rafael folds his arms across his chest worriedly. "That's not good, is it?"

Liv shakes her head. "It's a fever, which means we're not out of the woods yet." She passes the back of her hand down Noah's cheek. "Noah, honey, I know you feel icky but do you think you can try and eat something?"

He shakes his head, clutching his stuffed elephant to his chest. "My belly still hurts." "Maybe something to drink then?" She reasons.

Noah nods. "Can we watch the Lion King?"

Brushing the curls from his forehead, she smiles. "Of course we can."

...

Amanda's hunch had been right: Mariel had and an entire pharmacy pumping through her system. Melinda felt it was a case of medical malpractice, while he thought it was a case of child abuse.

Stepping off the elevator, Finn heads towards her apartment, sending her a text that he's outside. It's a few minutes before she opens the door. "Liv, sorry to bother you at home-"

"-it's fine," she assures. "Come in."

She moves from the doorway to let him in and he immediately clocks the mens shoes in her doorway, the extra set of keys hanging next hers. "Liv, you got something to tell me?" He questions immediately.

Running her fingers through her hair, she looks over into her living room, and Fin's brows shoot up at the sight of Barba on her couch, Noah sound asleep on his chest. "Damn," he comments. "Carisi and Rollins were right." They both give him confused looks and Finn shakes his head. "You don't want to know...this case we caught; it's a doozy."

Liv accepts the file from him, moving into the living room to sit next to Rafael. He glances at it over her shoulder, rubbing Noah's back. "All that was in her system?" He questions softly.

Fin nods. "I've got Rollins and Carisi trying to track down her former paediatricians."

"And the father? Where is he?" Liv asks.

Noah whimpers, and Rafael rises from the coach heading to the bathroom.

Fin watches him go, turning to Liv. "...I never thought I'd say this, but domesticity looks good on him."

She laughs, biting her lip. "It does, doesn't it?"

"How long have you two been a thing?"

"A few weeks," she admits.

Fin grins. "Barba's hypothetical man?"

"Yeah." She waits for his teasing, only it doesn't come.

His gaze holds hers. "He treating you right?"

The seriousness in his question causes her to smile, nodding reassuringly. "The absolute best, Fin."

Fin nods. "Good...I ain't above roughing him up; you just say the word."

She laughs again. "I know...track down the father and see if you can't get him to consent to release her medical records."

"On it."

Liv follows him to the door, and she leans in the doorframe as he hangs back a minute. "You two haven't disclosed yet, have you?"

"We're not quite ready to tell everyone."

Fin pretends to zip his lips.

"Thanks, Fin."

"I've got your back. Always, Liv."

...

Rafael paces her kitchen on the phone with his assistant. Judging by the way he's raked his fingers through his hair a half dozen times already, something is wrong. Noah is curled into her, reluctantly eating a Popsicle, watching him.

When he finally hangs up, he looks over at them, regret in his eyes. "You have to go?" Noah questions sadly.

"I'm sorry, amiguito." Crossing the kitchen, Rafael joins them on the couch. "I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise."

She cups his cheek and he holds her hand to his face. He looks so completely torn and she attempts to assuage some of his guilt. "It's ok...this isn't the first time we've been home, sick. We'll be fine."

His gaze dances with hers, relaxing just a little. "You'll call me if anything changes?"

She nods. "Promise."

This gives him a bit of peace, and he levels his gaze with Noah's. "Try and get some rest?" Noah nods, and Rafael kisses him on the forehead before pressing his lips surprisingly to hers.

She keeps him next to her for a minute longer by the nape of his neck, and Noah giggles between them.

They both smile, pulling back.

TBC