Thank you so much for the favs and follows:)...would love you hear from you with a review:)
...
Chapter 16
"Momma?"
Brushing her fingers through her sons hair, she presses her lips to his forehead. She had thought he had drifted off to sleep and she had been absentmindedly scrolling through one of the many streaming sites for something to watch. "Yes, sweet boy?"
"Are you and Uncle Rafa boyfriend and girlfriend?"
Going for nonchalance, she continues to scroll through the streaming site. "Would that be ok?" Noah sits up, and despite how utterly miserable he feels, his smile is genuine. "More than ok!"
She laughs. "I need you to do something for me though, Noah." When she's sure she has his attention, she continues. "Uncle Rafa and I, we want to keep this between us for now; so that means you can't tell anyone."
"Like a secret?"
"Like a secret," she agrees.
Confusion crosses his face. "Why?"
"Well, because we work together and we have to tell our bosses; we don't want anyone telling them before we do. Does that make sense?"
Noah nods, settling back into her arms. "...I like him lots more than Mr. Brian."
She smiles, rubbing his back. "Me too, babe." She settles on some Disney earth documentary, because if she watches the Lion King one more time, she may just start singing the songs herself.
He's quiet for a moment, before asking another question. "...does that mean he's not Uncle Rafa anymore?"
"I suppose not, huh?"
"What do I call him then?"
"Why don't you and Rafa figure that out together," she suggests.
He nods, yawning. "Can I have another Popsicle?"
"Sure." Unfurling from the couch, she heads for the freezer. "And then maybe you can try and get some more sleep?" Grabbing another popsicle, she turns, finding Noah sound asleep on the couch.
...
"How long have they been waiting?" he questions, adjusting his tie.
She offers him a file folder, accepting his briefcase in return. "Not long. You've got a few minutes."
He quickly flips through the file in an attempt to re-familiarize himself with the case.
"Do you want me to interrupt you if it runs too long?"
"Please," he sighs, heading into his office. "Deputy Chief Abraham, Lieutenant Tucker, this better be good."
"Are we pulling you away from something, Counsellor?" Abraham questions.
Circling his desk, he takes a seat, dropping the file for dramatic effect. "As a matter of fact, you are. Start talking."
"There's some chatter through the channels that you're reopening cases," Abraham begins.
He frowns. "This isn't about the Stewart case?"
Abraham shakes his head. "It's come to the commissioners attention that you've reopened the Ellie Porter case."
He refrains from rolling his eyes. "And how is this an issue warranting the commissioners time?"
"It's his issue when it conveniently coincides with Lieutenant Benson's custody issues," Tucker answers.
He holds Tucker's gaze. "Convenient, that of all the cases that are being tried and reopened in this office, Lieutenant Benson's is the one that's making it's way through the channels?"
"The Commissioner just wants to ensure everything is above board," Abraham rationalizes. "The NYPD has only just swung back into the peoples good graces, Lieutenant Benson included."
"So what is the concern here: my office's conduct or Lieutenant Benson's public image?" He questions angrily.
"Both," Tucker answers.
Rising from his desk, he heads to the door, opening it. "This conversation is over. I don't work for NYPD. If you have concerns about how my office operates, I suggest you take it up with DA McCoy."
They both rise from their seats, Abraham exiting first heading for the elevator. He closes the door before Tucker can leave, holding him back like a wayward student. "You do know that this is going crush Liv when she finds out."
Tucker has enough emotion to show a little bit of regret. "Why do you think I'm here?...make sure this case is air tight." Reaching for the door, he lets himself out.
...
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to recognize that Barba's wound tight when he makes his way through the precinct. "You good, Barba?" Fin questions.
"I just had Deputy Commissioner Abraham and Tucker in my office."
Fin follows him into the conference room, closing the door behind them. "Better your office than ours."
Rafael gives him a look. "They're concerned about my re-opening Ellie's case and the optics of that for the NYPD."
"What? They think Liv is pulling strings or something?"
"That's exactly what they're thinking." He doesn't admit that in some part, it's true because Fin gives hm a knowing look.
There's a quick rap at the door, and Carisi and Rollins stand awkwardly in the doorway. "Everything ok?" Amanda asks.
Rafael gestures them inside and Carisi closes the door again behind them. "The deputy commissioner and Tucker are sniffing around Liv's custody case. Everything, and I mean everything, needs to be done by the book, do you understand me?"
The detectives nod.
"That also means no talking to the press. Your official comment is no comment."
Amanda folds her arms across her chest, shock filling her face. "You think this is going to be an issue?"
"It already is."
"Well, something is finally working in our favour," Carisi explains. "I heard back from that school we were canvasing; turns out, Ellie was enrolled there for half a semester."
Rafael nods. "What happened?"
Carisi shrugs. "Out of the blue, she just stopped showing up."
"Go to the school, talk to the teachers. Find out why."
...
Jack ushers him into his office, and Rafael takes a seat opposite his desk.
"Your assistant said you wouldn't be in today," Jack comments. "Everything ok?"
"You've probably already surmised that there is more than a professional relationship between Olivia Benson and I."
Jack smiles, sitting behind his desk. "The way you flew out of our meeting just the other day certainly gave me pause. Is this you officially disclosing your relationship?"
Rafael nods. "Yes."
"Why now?"
He explains his meeting with Abraham and Tucker and Jack's expression changes to show his contempt. "You re-opened this case to help her."
"Yes," he admits.
Jack is silent for several minutes before speaking. "I can't say that if I was in the same situation, that I wouldn't be doing the same thing."
Rafael relaxes a fraction.
"We do not work for NYPD. If you feel strongly about this case, you have my full support; we'll deal with the fallout if it arises."
His phone buzzes from his pocket and he takes a second to read the incoming text.
Could you pick up some soup from that dinner on 9th?...Noah is coming around and is hungry.
He quickly likes her message, turning to Jack. "Noah's home sick with a pretty terrible stomach bug."
"I remember those days," Jack reminisces. "A lot of sleepless nights that I wasn't there for. Take as much time as you need, Rafael...that days are long, but the years are short. Or so they say."
"I appreciate it, Jack. Really."
The older man nods. "...if there's one regret of my life, it's that I didn't make time."
His mother had been preaching as much for years and he had dismissed her then, naive enough to think that there would be time. He had given priority to his career and at the time it had fulfilled him.
But now?
He's been counting down the minutes until he can head back to her apartment.
Jack rises from his desk, and he rises from his chair. "Go home. Keep me abreast concerning 1PP and the Deputy Commissioner."
"I will." He takes Jack's outstretched hand and the older man grips his shoulder before sending him on his way.
...
Noah had slept the afternoon and early evening away, and normally she would have woken him by now so that he would be able to sleep that night, but it was clear that his body needed the rest. She had spent the last few hours scrolling through her phone and absentmindedly watching TV as Noah lay next to her, her mind wandering to thoughts of Rafael.
Their relationship is already deeper than any relationship she's had in the past and she finds herself sitting with that more than she normally would. She had always assumed that was her fault; keeping her thoughts and feelings too close to the vest, Brian had claimed. And maybe a part of that was true but she wonders now about the why.
In hindsight, Brian, Ed, and perhaps even Elliot, were emotionally unavailable. Brian yelled, Ed got silent and Elliot used violence and she had always thought it was because of the job, the stress of working in sex crimes or in Ed's case, the pitfalls of investigating your own.
But not Rafael.
She's given voice to far more than she ever has, in a relationship or otherwise, and it's not lost on her that it has always been easy to talk to Rafael. About everything. Her phone pings in her hand, a notification that Rafael is in the area and she hearts it. The bubble appears and a short text from him follows.
Feelings mutual.
She feels a little foolish waiting for him, and when her keys turn in the lock she greets him with a smile and a finger to her lips, gesturing to a sleeping Noah beside her. He had gone home to change and he's loosening his tie and the top buttons of his shirt. He's got the requested soup in his hand and he sets it on the island before closing the space between them.
Leaning down, he presses his lips to hers in a kiss, and she cups the back his head, letting her fingers sift through his hair. She teases his lips open, deepening the kiss and he braces a hand on the back of the couch making her pull him with her as she leans back.
"Liv," he sighs against her lips. "Go easy on me, amor."
The throb between her thighs is heady and she pulls back, meeting his gaze. "Sorry."
Holding her gaze, he smirks. "No you're not."
She releases him letting him kneel down in front of Noah. "Guilty."
Rafael brushes the curls from Noah's forehead gently. "How's he feeling?"
"No worse."
He rubs the little boys back and he stirs, rubbing his face into the blanket he's curled up in. "... my belly feels hungry."
"Well then I guess it's a good thing that I brought you some chicken noodle soup," Rafael answers.
Yawning, Noah unravels himself from his blanket to hug him.
His head rests on his shoulder and his arms are around his neck and Rafael can feel it, his entire world shifting inside of him. He presses a kiss to the side of his head, lifting him into his arms as he stands. "Do you feel like you could eat some?"
Noah nods from his shoulder. "Momma said you were her boyfriend."
Rafael stills, caught off guard by what Noah's said. He looks to Liv who's biting her lip.
"He asked," she gives by way of an answer.
Noah pulls away from his shoulder to look him in the eyes. "Does that mean you're not Uncle Rafa anymore?"
"No," he answers immediately. "...I mean, technically I suppose not, but it doesn't change our relationship, Noah, or how I feel about you, amiguito."
The little boy fiddles with the knot in his tie. "Then what do I call you now?" "Well," he searches for the words. "You could call me Rafael, or Rafa."
Noah frowns at this. "It's rude to call adults by their first name."
He looks over at Liv for any kind of help and she shrugs, unable to offer anything. "...what's Dad in Spanish?" He questions softly.
Rafael's mouth goes dry, and Noah's gaze meets his shyly. "Papa." He can see the wheels turning in his head and he waits with bated breath for him to say something.
Noah nods, tracing the patterns in his tie with his finger. "...can I just call you Uncle Rafa?...for now?"
He nods, swallowing hard to dislodge the lump in his throat. "Whatever you want, Noah."
"How about some soup?" Rising from the couch, she runs a hand down the back of her sons head before heading towards the kitchen.
Noah nods and he sets him down so that he can climb onto a stool at the island. As Liv moves about the kitchen to get him a bowl, their eyes connect and he can see the panic there mixed with a storm of emotions he can't place.
It's probably not the best time to tell her about his meeting with Abraham and Tucker, or that he disclosed their relationship to Jack, but he needs to say something. "I disclosed to Jack."
She doesn't respond, focusing on getting Noah something to eat.
"Can I have crackers too?" Noah questions.
"Sure." Once he's settled, she runs her fingers through his hair. "Will you be ok for a few minutes? Momma needs to talk to Uncle Rafa."
Noah looks between them both, raising the spoon to his mouth. He nods.
Liv presses a kiss to his forehead before heading back to her bedroom. He understands that he's expected to follow and he leaves the door ajar just enough to hear Noah. "I should have discussed it with you first," he begins.
"That would have been nice."
There's anger in her voice and it's not the first time, but this feels different because it's directed at him. "My meeting was with Abraham and Tucker. There's concern in the commissioners office that you're using your position as Lieutenant to influence your case with Shelia."
"What?"
He continues. " I shut them down, obviously, but I had to disclose to Jack."
She rubs her forehead, pacing her bedroom. "...Tucker?"
"I got the sense that he was only there to reign Abraham in."
She continues to pace, absorbing what he's just told her. "...I'm sorry. I should't have jumped to conclusions like that."
"I get it," he assures. "It's been a day of disclosures, it seems." Her gaze connects with his and the panic is still there.
"When Noah asked me if we were boyfriend and girlfriend I didn't think it would lead to him wanting to call you..." she lets her sentence trail off. "...I want us, Rafa...that hasn't changed, I just..."
"This is moving too fast for you," he deduces.
For as anxious as she feels, he's surprisingly incredibly calm. "...we've got so much to lose," she says softly.
"And so much to gain," he adds. He manages to draw a glimmer of a smile from her and he takes it as a sign to continue. "Maybe we just focus on the right now. Not the past, not the future...just you, and me, and Noah, right now."
She nods, exhaling.
"Right now, I'm still Uncle Rafa who just happens to be your boyfriend." Her smile reaches her eyes then and he's reaching for her hand, tugging her into his chest.
"I like the sound of that."
"So do I," he agrees, leaning in to press his lips to hers in a gentle kiss.
tbc