Snyderverse Neptunia Snippets

by Derald Snyder

Snippet 02- I'm Not A Comic Book!

Timeline- Shortly after 'Turnabout of the Night'.

It was late at night, and Noire was doing a patrol around the streets of Lastation City. While she didn't normally do this, the revelation that vampires were in fact real had shaken her citizens considerably, and many were afraid to go out at night for fear of getting their blood sucked... (Hopefully after a few nights of doing this without running into any blood suckers will put my peoples' minds at ease...) Noire thought, stopping to take a yawn...

Then she heard something off to her right, down an alley... Hopefully it was just a rat or a stray cat, but she decided to check it out regardless. As she tiptoed into the alley, her rapier at the ready, Noire's ears began to pick up the sound of conversation...

"Now listen," a male voice spoke up, "I want answers, and you're going to give them to me." Noire was then able to make out two men, one shoved against the wall by the other.

"(bleep) you, pretty boy! I ain't rattin'!" the thug against the wall grunted defiantly. His captor responded by socking him in the stomach, then slamming him into the wall again! "Agh...! Still not talking...!"

"What's going on here?!" Noire shouted as she approached the two men, who turned to look at her.

"Shit! Black Heart's here?!" the thug against the wall cried in panic.

"Lady Noire. Perfect timing," the other man spoke. He had a bishonen face framed by short black hair, wearing a blue winter hat on his head and a black jacket with dark pants. "I'm trying to interrogate this criminal about a drug deal, but he won't talk."

"Oh really? Do you expect me to take you at your word?" Noire asked skeptically. "Who are you?"

"Agent Brian Duane, Lastation Guild. Let me get my ID..." He let thug slide to the ground, though he kept one foot pressed against his groin as he reached into his jacket, pulling out a leather billfold.

Noire took the item from Duane, keeping her rapier up as she flipped it open. "...okay, this looks legitimate. Well met, Agent Duane." She handed the badge back, lowering her weapon as she eased up her stance. "So what's this about a drug deal?"

"Well, I roughed up a few of this guy's associates, and they said this one knew where the deal was going down," Agent Duane replied. "Maybe you can get him to talk?"

"...well, if this lowlife doesn't want an impromptu tracheotomy, he'll start talking!" Noire declared, her rapier moving closer and closer to the fallen thug's throat...

"...geh, OKAY! I'll talk, I'll talk!" the thug cried out. "They're at the warehouse on the corner of 3rd and Breaker!"

"See, wasn't too hard, now was it?" Brian said, lifting his foot up. "Alright, we're done with you. Get outta here!" The thug promptly scrambled off into the night.

"Aren't you afraid he'll warn the drug pushers about the Guild?" Noire pointed out fairly.

"Not if we move fast enough. Excuse me..." With that, Brian took out his cell, contacting his fellow agents and telling them the location. After he hung up, he stated, "We've got a rapid response team that can move quickly when we learn where a deal's going down. Given the amount of drugs moving through here and neighboring cities, it's kind of a necessity..."

"I see..." Noire nodded as she sheathed her weapon. "By the way, Agent Duane... you aren't related to that corrupt Duane Enterprises that I took down a while back, are you?"

Brian visibly winced at this. "...My father was the company's founder. But when he and Mother were murdered, the board of directors sucked all the money out of it... I was just a kid at the time, so there was nothing I could do..."

"Your parents were murdered?!" Noire gasped in shock.

"Yeah. Shot to death right in front of me... but I guess the mugger didn't have it in him to shoot a kid, so he just left me. They never did find out who it was... That's part of the reason I joined the Guild, to try and keep something like that from ever happening again. At least I still had my butler Alfred to take care of me..."

"I... I don't know what to say..." Noire shook her head. "As the CPU, I'm more focused on the 'big picture' stuff, like making sure villains like ASIC and AffirmaX don't destroy my country... I'm busy enough as it is, so I leave the lower-level crime and stuff to the police and the Guild... I'm really sorry for your loss. No one should have to suffer what you did..."

"I appreciate that, Lady Noire," Brian nodded with a sad smile. "I only wish I was a bit more effective in the field... I won't use a gun, but I'm pretty good with martial arts and parkour, so chasing down criminals usually isnt a problem... but my interrogation skills need work, as you could tell."

"...Well, ever try wearing a mask to cover up that pretty boy face of yours?" Noire suggested.

"I've worn a ski mask on occasion, but that really only works for infiltration," Duane shrugged. "I want to be the kind of agent that strikes fear into criminals... they're a superstitious, cowardly lot, after all."

"Hmm..." Noire pondered. "Well, this might sound silly, but how about wearing a costume that scares them, or something?"

Brian winced at this. "Um, I don't know about wearing one of your cosplay costumes... with all due respect."

"Th-that's not what I...!" Noire went red in the face. "(ahem) I mean, I could make something a bit more low-key for you, if you want. I've been kinda strapped for ideas recently, anyway..."

"...Well, I'll think about it," Brian allowed. "But what did you have in mind?"

"Let me think..." Noire closed her eyes, leaning her head against her fist, her elbow resting in her other hand. "...Tell me, is there anything that scared you as a child? Other than muggers."

"Well, there was this one time I fell into a cave full of bats, and they all seemed to swarm over me before Alfred pulled me out," Duane recalled. "I had nightmares for weeks afterward..."

"Bats, huh..." Noire's thoughts went to the vampire that she, Uni, and Rei Ryghts had recently dealt with. "I think I can work with that..."

*Two weeks later...*

Brian felt like a fool. How had he let Lady Noire talk him into this? He stared at the cowl in his hands, which was designed to cover the top half of his head, but leave his mouth exposed. It also two 'horns' sticking straight up on either side, evoking the image of a demon... or a bat. (At least she kept her word about the costume being low-key...) It was a dark grey bodysuit with black boots and black armored gauntlets, as well as a black cape with a serrated edge.

He then heard a noise- footsteps from below. He stood up, looking over the edge of the roof, seeing two lowlifes creeping down the alley. (Well, might as well give it a try...) He slid the cowl over his head, adjusting it to make sure he could see out the eye holes, before gripping the sides of his cape and leaping from the apartment building!

He came down feet-first on the left lowlife, slamming him to the ground and knocking him unconscious straight away. The other screamed in terror upon seeing this darkly-dressed man appear from the sky... "AHHH! The vampire!" He whipped out his gun and opened fire, but the bullets were stopped by the bulletproof vest under Duane's bodysuit. Duane grabbed the thug's wrist and squeezed, forcing him to drop his gun, then grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him into the wall! "Don't suck my blood! I'm too young to die!"

"I'm not going to suck your blood," Brian growled in a guttural tone, "but I might spill it if I don't get some answers. That tattoo you've got shows that you're with the Kazuya mafia. I know they're smuggling some pirated games. Where's the drop?!"

"I don't know!" the thug cried, only to get lifted high into the air, his feet flailing helplessly! "Okay okay! I think it's going down at the storehouse by the docks!"

"You think?!" Brian growled.

"I heard it from a buddy, okay?! That's all I know, I swear!" the lowlife screamed.

Brian waited a second, before letting the thug drop to the ground. "Get out of here. And I suggest reevaluating your life choices." With that, he turned and vanished into the shadows... The thug just fell limp where he lay, gasping for air, his heart going a million miles a minute.

(That was easier than I thought,) Brian thought to himself as he grappled back up onto the roof. (Perhaps Lady Noire was onto something after all...) Pulling out his phone, he dialed the Guild... "This is Agent Duane. I've got a possible location on the pirated game drop by the Kazuyas..."

"Agent Duane? I thought you took the night off!"

"I... I'm on a special assignment from Lady Noire," Brian fibbed. "Anyway, if I get the chance, I'll come help with the bust."

"All right, but let us know you're coming, so you don't get caught in the crossfire."

"Roger that," Brian acknowledged, before hanging up. (The storehouse by the docks... I should be able to get there on time if I hop a few roofs. No time to waste.) His mind made up, he dashed off, leaping over the gap between apartment roofs...

*At the docks...*

"Freeze! This is the Lastation Guild! Put your hands in the air!" the lead agent cried as he and several others drew their guns.

"The Guild?! How'd they get wise to us?!" Several thugs pulled their own weapons and opened fire, the agents ducking behind their armored cars, before popping back up and returning the favor!

Brian watched the firefight from atop some shipping crates... (Looks like I'm just too late. Let's see if I can round up any fleeing criminals...) Looking around from his vantage point, he saw one thug running up to a nondescript car... (That's got to be the boss' car!)

"Boss! We've been made by the Guild! We gotta bail!" the thug said to an older man with a mustache and hair styled into two points.

"Damn, how'd they find out?! All right, let's move," the boss said. But as the thug got into the driver's seat, a shadowed figure suddenly yanked the door back open, pulling the thug out and socking him in the face! "What the-?!" the boss went for his gun, only for the man to grab and pull him out of the car as well!

"You're not going anywhere!" Duane growled as he shoved the older man against the car.

"You- you're..." the boss stammered. "I-I thought you were just a comic book!"

"Do I look like a comic book to you?!" Brian shot back, before laying the boss out with a hard left hook! The other thug started to get up, only to get a kick to the face and knocked out! After making sure they were both unconscious, he shouted, "HEY! OVER HERE!"

Immediately a few Guild agents ran toward the scene, the front one stopping short at the sight of the costumed man. "What the hell...?!"

Brian just pointed at the boss' prone form. "He's all yours." With that, he shot his grappling hook and disappeared into the night sky.

"...Did... did I just see what I thought I saw?!" the agent asked his coworker.

"Yeah... no doubt about it," the other agent nodded slowly. "That was... The Batman."

Brian Duane watched as the agents cuffed the boss and his driver, allowing himself a small smile. (You know, this might not be so bad after all...) He couldn't wait to see the look on his fellow agents' faces back at headquarters...

*Snippet 02- End*

A/N: You have to admit, Batman is a perfect fit for a place like Lastation, with all that black architecture... ;-)