Snyderverse Neptunia Snippets

by Derald Snyder

Snippet 05- Publishing Woes

Timeline- Shortly after 'Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation'.

"So, you're saying you want to publish this new book of yours... as a comedy?" the lead publisher asked, sitting at the head of a table with several co-workers surrounding him.

"That's right," Blanc nodded. "When Princess Asseylum from the Animenga Star Cluster read one of my recent fantasy stories, she thought it was hilarious. I admit I was a bit pissed at first, but then I thought that maybe she was on to something... I mean, none of my previous books have sold, so I figured why the hell not?"

"Hmmm..." the lead publisher flipped through Blanc's manuscript, his face betraying no emotion. "But isn't that princess an alien? Just because she thinks it's funny doesn't mean anyone in Gamindustri will..."

"With all due respect, Asseylum and most of the other aliens were about as human as you are," Blanc countered. "The only really eldritch ones were the goddess Haruhi herself and her Oracle!"

"...I see. Well, seeing as you're the CPU, publishing this book is a given, as I'm sure you know. Anyway, we'll look it over and get back to you, Lady Blanc."

"Guess that's the best I can hope for these days," Blanc grumbled before turning and leaving, shutting the door behind her.

But as soon as she was out of earshot, the lead publisher corpsed before bursting into raucous laughter! "Oh, man, you guys have gotta read this one...!" he gasped between laughs. One of his co-workers took the manuscript to read, two others looking over his shoulders, all three soon falling into uncontrollable guffaws as well!

"Geez, was she trying to be funny this time?!" one of them gasped.

"No, because if she was trying, it wouldn't have been funny at all!" Another pointed out, causing most of the others to laugh as well.

...Needless to say, it took them a while to actually proofread the manuscript.

*A few weeks later...*

"What do you mean we're still behind Blanc on Shares?!" Noire complained with a visible blood vein. "I thought our latest marketing campaign was a rousing success!"

"It was, Lady Noire," Oracle Kei Jinguji stated in a neutral tone. "However, it seems that Lady Blanc's latest book was sold as a comedy, to even more rousing success."

"Wait, Blanc's book is a best-seller?!" Noire's eyes shrunk to white circles. "...Oh, no... Neptune and I were teasing about selling her books as comedies instead during the alien visit! I can't believe she actually ran with that!"

"Hoist on your own petard, Lady Noire?" Kei Jinguji said without an ounce of sarcasm.

*Back in Lowee...*

"Congratulations on finally topping the charts with your new book, Lady Blanc!" Financier complimented. "Just how did you do it?"

"Well, that book I loaned to Princess Asseylum wasn't my best effort, but she wouldn't stop laughing at it," Blanc sighed, not looking at all pleased. "So, I just wrote how I usually did, except I put even less effort into it than usual..."

"...Wait, you mean you were trying to write badly, and it ended up working?!" Financier sweat-dropped.

"For all the wrong damn reasons," the CPU growled, a blood vein pulsing under her hat. "Get a hold of C-Sha, would you?! I need to blow off some steam!"

"At once, Lady Blanc!" the maid bowed, before heading for the phone.

*Snippet 05- End*