Snyderverse Neptunia Snippets

by Derald Snyder

Snippet 13- Not Linda This Time

Timeline- Somewhere after 'Neptunia Guild Files: Fate/book one' and 'Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation'.

Canon status- Dubious. Could be considered a 'rough draft'/preview for a future Guild Files story arc.

*Interrogation Room, Planeptune City Maximum-Security Penitentiary*

"I'm telling you, I had nothing to do with that philanthropist's murder!" Linda protested, her hands and legs cuffed. "Why the hell would I do something like that, anyway?!"

"Because you're a card-carrying villain?" Olga Marie replied dispassionately. The dead philanthropist in question had been one of Olga's mentors and a dear friend of hers, which was why she was personally leading the case.

"Oh come on! I've been locked up in here ever since that damn IF tricked me with her Ho-Hum garbage! I'm sure anyone here could tell you I was in my cell when this 'Lev Lainur' got stabbed and shot!" Linda argued.

"Unfortunately for you, the security cameras were on the fritz last night," Olga responded. "And none of the guards were able to account for your whereabouts at the time of the murder..."

"Yeah? Well, riddle me this, lady: If I DID break out and kill this guy, why the hell would I go through all the trouble to put myself back IN prison once the deed was done?! No, I'd get the hell out of dodge instead!"

"Do you honestly expect us to believe-" Olga was cut off as the intercom suddenly clicked on.

"Um, I hate to interrupt," Nepgear's voice was heard, "But I think Underling's telling the truth. There's no way she would go back to jail willingly after managing to escape..."

"Thank you!" Linda raised her cuffed hands briefly. "At least someone here knows how to use their brain!"

Olga was silent for a few moments. "...okay, say we believe you. Why would someone go through the trouble of making us think you did the deed?"

"'Cause I'm a piss-easy scapegoat, that's why!" Linda snorted. "Obviously they didn't know I was locked up!"

"...Do you have any living relatives?" Olga asked next.

"Have I mentioned I'm an orphan that grew up on the streets? That useless Warechu was the closest thing I had to family, until Magic recruited us! I dunno, maybe somebody who looks like me put two and two together or something! Shouldn't that be your job to figure out?!"

"Make no mistake, we will get to the bottom of this," Olga said as she stood up. "In the meantime, I'm having you transferred to the Guild's direct custody, and placed under 24/7 watch, until we either find this 'other you' or evidence that you hoodwinked us."

"As long as I don't have to deal with IF, fine," Linda grumbled. At least it would be a change of scenery, if nothing else...

*A few days later...*

"Come on, you wimps! Aren't you supposed to try and arrest me?!" taunted the woman with gray skin and dark-green hair, wearing a dark mouse-eared hoodie. Unlike Underling, however, this doppleganger wielded a wooden staff with considerable skill.

"Geez, this bitch is no pushover!" Rider said through gritted teeth. "We haven't even got a hit in edgewise!" She lashed out with her chain, only for the not-Underling to grab and pull in the same direction, sending Rider stumbling forward, the woman then hitting her with a roundhouse kick that slammed her into a brick wall, knocking her out cold!

"Sharon!" Saber cried in distress.

"One down, two to go," the green-haired woman grinned savagely. "No wonder the CPUs have to save the day, if you're the best the Guild can offer!" She easily backflipped away from an explosive arrow from Archer, then swiftly parried a slice from Saber, sweeping her feet from under her, the blonde rolling away from the follow-up strike! Archer charged in next with his short swords, the woman deflecting his slices and slamming him aside with her staff.

"Argh! It's like the Shredder all over again...!" Archer grunted in pain.

"Dunno who you're talking about, but I'll take that as a compliment!" not-Underling taunted... then a shot fired from the sky, striking her in the hand and forcing her to drop her staff! "OW! The hell...?!" She looked up, only for the blood to drain from her face.

"Stop right there!" Purple Sister called out as she descended from the sky. "Underling or not, your villainy ends here!"

"Shit! Lady Nepgear?!" the woman gasped... before abruptly raising her hands and kneeling in surrender.

"Wait, you give up just like that?!" Archer said in surprise.

"I don't pick fights I can't win," the Linda lookalike retorted. "If you're gonna arrest me, then hurry the hell up!"

"Fine," Archer agreed, pulling the woman's hands behind her back, tracing a pair of handcuffs on her wrists. "You mind telling us your name, at least?"

"...Call me Laura. That's all you need to know."

"All right, Laura. You're under arrest for assaulting Guild agents, resisting arrest, and the murder of Lev Lainur. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say..." he recited as he led the woman away.

"That's strange," Nepgear said as she reverted to human form.

"What is, Lady Nepgear?" Saber queried.

"That look she gave me... it's like she knew me somehow. And not just because I'm the CPU Candidate of Planeptune, either..."

"I'm sure we'll find out when we interrogate her... But while you're here, would you kindly use your healing magic on Agent Rider?"

"Oh, sure," Nepgear nodded, walking over to the unconscious Sharon.

*Back at Guild Headquarters...*

Linda's eyes went wide as her lookalike was escorted into the room... "Holy shit, there was another of me running around..."

"Yes, but now that we've got you two together, the differences are noticeable," Saber stated. Indeed, Laura's eyes were just a little smaller, her body an inch or two taller, not to mention slightly more curvy as well.

"She already confessed to killing Lev Lainur, so you're off the hook for that particular crime," Archer said. "But she said her signing the confession was contingent on meeting you..."

"Is that so?" Linda looked her doppelgänger in the eye. "You've got some nerve, bitch, trying to make me take the fall for your murder. Too bad you didn't know I was already in lockup!"

"Oh, I knew," Laura said with a knowing smirk. "Damn... you look just like I remember, sans a few wrinkles..."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Linda hissed back. "I think I'd remember having a partner-in-crime or something!"

Laura just laughed at that. "Oh Linda, you closed-minded fool... try thinking outside the box, why don't you? No wonder you eventually became a joke to Lady Nepgear and the others..."

"Lady? Why the hell would you call her that?!" Linda pressed.

"I was kinda curious about that myself," Nepgear spoke up from behind Saber. "Um, Miss Laura, was it? Have we met somewhere? Because it seems like you know me..."

Laura was silent for a moment. "Well, lemme put it this way: I've certainly met you before, but you haven't met me yet. After all..." She gave a feral grin before dropping the bombshell. "I technically haven't been born yet."

"...Huh?!" Linda's eyes shrank to white circles.

"Not born...? Goodness!" Nepgear gasped as realization dawned. "You- you're a time-traveler!"

"Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner!" Laura exclaimed with a chuckle.

"T-time-traveler?!" Archer and Saber gasped in disbelief.

"...I'm guessing Lady Nepgear never told you about the mess with the PC Continent and the Buzzozzer Phenomenon," Laura deadpanned.

"Wait, you're from the future?!" Linda gasped as something suddenly occurred to her. "Oh, hell, don't tell me..."

The savage grin returned. "Hi Mom. Long time no see."

"Oh. My. Goddess." Saber put a hand over her chest, looking as if she were about to pass out.

"WHAT THE FRICK?! I have a daughter?!" Linda stood straight up. "How the hell did that happen?!"

"Well, you see, when a sperm meets an ovary..." Laura began.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Linda shouted. "Who the hell is the father?!"

"...I don't know," Laura's smile faded somewhat.

"Whaddaya mean you don't know?!" Linda protested. "Did the guy run out on me or something?! ...Actually, that wouldn't surprise me..."

Laura looked conflicted for a moment. "...fine, I'll give it to you straight. A little under two years from now, shit starts going to hell and there's a prison riot. And when you tried to escape..." She paused, biting her lip. "From what you told me, some big brutes caught you and gang-raped you repeatedly."

Linda's whole body went white as a sheet upon hearing this. "G... gang... r... ra..."

"Goodness...!" Nepgear briefly made a Nepgya-face, before shifting to a more traditional expression of disbelief. "I... even I would never wish such a fate on Underling... Even in a bad ending, the worst thing I do is kill her outright..."

"Yeah, well, the reason you sent me back specifically was so there weren't time-space rifts opening from two of the same person meeting in the same space-time, because I don't exist yet," Laura explained.

"I sent you back?" Nepgear repeated. "Oh, no... then the future you came from was doomed..."

"Yep."

"Wait a minute, I don't understand," Olga Marie cut in. "How does killing Lev Lainur stop this doomed future from occurring?"

"He was the first domino, so to speak," Laura replied, looking the deputy director in the eye. "Turns out his bloodline was descended from an ancient demon. When said demon took him as a vessel, it completely overwrote his original personality, or so Lady Nepgear told me. And he subjected you specifically to one of the most horrible, torturous deaths imaginable..."

Olga couldn't see any tells that indicated deception on the other woman's part. "N... no... it can't be..."

"So what, this demon blindsided us and killed us all?" Archer pressed.

"No. The good guys won, but at great cost," Laura shook her head. "But we were so exhausted, that when the next enemy blindsided us, we weren't able to offer more than token resistance, and became mindless slaves. By the time I went back, Lady Nepgear and I were the only 'free' people left in Gamindustri. If you hadn't caught me, I was gonna go after that one next, before she became the monster that enslaved everyone to carnal pleasure..."

"Who? Who is it?" Olga all but demanded.

Laura gave her a long look. "Professor Waver Velvet's associate... Sister Kiara Sessyoin."

You could hear a pin drop in the room... "WHAAAAAAAAAT?!" everyone cried in shock and disbelief.

"And now you see why you got blindsided."

*Snippet 13- End*