Snyderverse Neptunia Snippets

by Derald Snyder

Snippet 18- And Now For Somewhere Completely Different

Timeline- Sometime after 'Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation'.

Canon status- NON-CANON, at least for now. This is more of a 'what-if' experiment.

*Planeptune Basilicom*

Neptune walked into the kitchen, carrying the new interdimensional-capable cell phone that Nepgear had built for her. (Geesh, just 'cause I get nepped into another dimension almost every game...) Opening the freezer, she found some microwavable pizza pockets. "Well, I am kinda hungry..." She took the pockets, put them on a plate and set them in the microwave...

But stopped before she pressed any buttons. "Waaaait a minute... Knowing Nep Jr, this phone's gonna send me to an alternate dimension where Arfoire is good and CPUs are evil if I activate the microwave..." So she took said phone out of her parka dress' pocket, walking over and setting on the table a good distance away.

THEN she started the microwave. Three minutes mater, it dinged, Neptune taking out the plate of warm pizza pockets and walking them over to said table. "Phew, good, disaster averted." She went and got a glass of milk while the pockets cooled, then sat down, popping one into her mouth. (um num num) (gulp) "So, I wonder what functions this phone has, exactly... can it connect to the Internep, I wonder?"

But the moment she touched it, the phone crackled with green electricity which flowed into the CPU! "Oh, COME ON! You gotta be nepping kidding meeeeeeeee...!" Neptune wailed as she and the phone vanished into the ether.

*Meanwhile, in another world...*

An office worker and his adult son were walking down a trail through a nature park on a nice sunny day with a slight breeze. Said office worker had black hair and green eyes with a sharp nose. His son shared his nose and eyes, but had dirty blond hair crowning his head instead, dressed in a grey-brown hoodie and black denim shorts. "See, Dad? Aren't you glad I got you outta the office for once?"

"...Yeah. You're right, Corey, I needed this," the father nodded and smiled. "I remember when you were just a toddler, running on ahead of your mother and I..." His smile faded a bit.

"I miss her too, Dad," Corey nodded solemnly. "And I know you worry about me, but I've got no intention of joining her anytime soon."

"You say that, son, and yet you still risk yourself so recklessly..." the father sighed.

"I am not reckless! I know my limits!" Corey argued. "Look, this thing I'm doing now is just a big obstacle course, no fighting of any kind! Just a test of your athleticism, that's all!"

"Athleticism, huh?" Corey's father mused. "Is this going to be televised? I'd rather you didn't humiliate yourself in front of hundreds of people..."

"Only if I fall," Corey countered. "It's divided into four stages, and I'm pretty sure I can at least pass the first one... actually, that's part of the reason I came here, I wanted to practice."

His father gave a slight nod. "Well, alright, son... show me what you've got." Grinning, Corey ran off, jumping into a handstand on a short wall, then righting himself and running down the length, then jumping and rolling, coming up on his feet, and running up a tree, grabbing a branch and swinging up onto it, jumping to another branch, then leaping and grabbing another branch and swinging from it, then letting go and rolling on the ground... (Wow... thirty years old he's still as agile as a monkey... then again, both he and I aren't exactly 'normal'...) He smiled wryly. (He might think I'm a worry wart, but I think I'm justified, due to his stomach condition... it's not like I worry about silly things like people falling from the sky...)

"...okoutlookoutlookoutmoveMoveMOVEEEEE!"

"Huh...?" the father looked up to see something- no someone falling right at him-!

Corey turned his head upon hearing the crash, seeing a large plume of dust where... "DAD!" he cried, quickly running over to where his father had been standing just a minute ago... the dust soon cleared, revealing a young lady with messy lilac hair lying atop his dazed father... a moment later, some strange device bounced off the girl's head and clattered on the sidewalk. "A girl...?!" Corey knelt down, checking the stranger's pulse... (okay, she's still alive, at least...) "Dad! Dad, are you all right?! Say something!" he called as he moved the prone woman off his father.

"Ugh, what the...?" Corey's father slowly sat up, shaking his head. "What was that...?" His eyes blinked open, seeing the girl... "Wait, did she fall on me?!"

"Fall on you? But there's no trees around here..." Corey pointed out as he checked the woman over again. "Well, doesn't seem like anything's broken, so she couldn't have fallen too far... Oh wait, I think she's coming around!"

"Owwww..." Neptune groaned as her senses slowly returned. "Owowowowow... neppit, why does this always happen to me..." She then became aware of someone helping her up to a sitting position... "Huh?!" Her vision cleared, seeing Corey's concerned face. "Oh crap, I didn't fall on you, did I?!"

"No, you fell on Dad," Corey replied. "Don't worry, he's fine, just a little rattled..."

"Well, better that you landed on me than on the hard stone..." Corey's father sighed as he stood back up.

"Okay, before we go any further, this isn't a dimension where evil goddesses supress the people and abuse their sisters, is it?" Neptune asked.

"Uhh... no?" Corey responded, utterly perplexed.

"Phew! Okay, good. Glad that didn't happen at least," Neptune sighed in relief. "Oh, right, guess I should explain. See, my little sister created this new phone that can call across dimensions in case I ever got nepped away to another world, but when I went to use the microwave, well, here I am."

"Phone? You mean this thing?" Corey picked up the device that had fallen nearby.

"Yeah, that's it! ...Aw, neppit, the screen's cracked. I suppose you don't know any phone repairmen in the area?" Neptune asked.

"Um, not really," Corey's father shook his head. "Oh, I'm Darren Myers, by the way. And this is my son Corey."

"Yeah, what's your name?" Corey asked.

"Just call me Neptune. Or Nep for short. Anyway..." She stood up, Corey supporting her with one hand. "Could you tell me where exactly I am?"

"You're in Rudot City, capital of the republic of Casimir," Darren replied. "Sound familiar?"

"...Nope, not one bit," Neptune sighed. "Aaaand since Nep Jr's phone is broken, I'm up the creek without a paddle. Again."

"Again? You mean this has happened before?" Corey asked incredulously.

"Oh yeah, more than once. Why do you think Nep Jr. invented this phone for me to begin with?" Neptune waved the device around.

"Well, first, we should take you to the doctor and make sure nothing's broken," Darren insisted.

"What about you?" Neptune retorted. "I fell right on top of you, and you're not even holding your ribcage or anything! ...You're not human, are you?"

"Uh..." Darren was speechless.

"Wow, you're good," Corey put a hand behind his head. "Actually, Dad and I are-"

"Corey!" Darren cut him off.

"...Dad, we might as well tell her," Corey sighed and shook his head. "She's pretty much figured it out anyway..."

"...All right, fine. Just don't spread this around to everyone you meet, okay?" Darren insisted with a raised hand.

"No prob! This Nep can keep her lips zipped!" Neptune smiled. "Now spill!"

"Dad and I have dragon blood," Corey explained. "My Grandma's a half-dragon who's over 1,000 years old or so..."

"Half-dragon?! Whoa, rad!" Neptune exclaimed giddily. "Where I come from, dragons are just monsters that terrorize the people and need to get cut down by Nep Jr. and yours truly!"

"Well, to be fair, Mother was a villain of sorts in her younger years..." Darren said, looking around to make sure nobody was listening in. "She's pretty much mellowed out nowadays, though."

"Huh, so she saw the error of her ways without being killed by a wandering party of heroes?" Neptune mused. "I'd like to meet her! Who knows, maybe she knows a way for me to get back home!"

"...Doctor first. Then we'll see about taking you to Mother, okay?" Darren proposed.

"Okay then," Neptune agreed. "In the meantime, maybe I can tell you about my world and stuff!"

"Sounds good," Corey nodded, the three going off together...

*To be continued...*

A/N: This is an original universe that I've made a story or two for over on FictionPress, with aforementioned half-dragon being the central character. You'll meet her in the next snippet.