I'm so sorry I didn't get to post on Valentine's Day. I tried to make a somewhat longer chapter to make it up to you.

Anorexia is mentioned in this chapter.

Happy late Valentine's Day!

-CL

America gasps, but I keep going. "It all started with my wedding dress. The one that I wore. It didn't fit my stomach right, so I decided not to eat until after my wedding. That was about two weeks before the wedding. The dress I had Marlee use? That was the backup to my actual wedding dress just in case I didn't lose enough weight to wear my dress.

"I haven't not eaten anything at all since then. I'll eat very little or a protein shake or even a smoothie. It's once a day. When I passed out before I got dressed for the wedding? That was because of my anorexia. When I was acting weird before the wedding? That was because I was getting used to not eating anything; it was taking a toll on my mental health, and I was already in a depressive episode.

"I know I should have opened up to you guys, but I didn't want you to worry at my wedding. I wanted you guys to enjoy yourselves-worry-free. You all deserved it-between your pregnancy, Ames, the rebel attacks, and everything else. And you know how Maxon would have reacted. He would have canceled the wedding and made me get help. I didn't want that. Everyone was looking forward to the wedding and reception, not to mention how much planning was put into the wedding.

"Yes, I know that I need to get help, but I'm hoping I can just slowly introduce myself back to eating normally. I want to do it myself-I don't want medical assistance. I'm sorry I've done this to you, all of you. It's just…it's trauma from my childhood," I finish, looking at America. I see her looking over my shoulder. "What-?" I start to ask, but then I see Maxon standing against the doorframe. "Fuck," I mumble under my breath. I take a deep breath and turn to face him fully. "How much did you hear?"

"Everything. I came right after Marlee, Carter, and Aspen left," Maxon says. He stops leaning on the doorframe and walks toward me. "Shit, Bella. I wish you have told me. I could have helped you through it."

"Maxon, don't you get it? I didn't want to worry you!" I turn and walk toward the bed trying to calm down. "I didn't want to be a burden like I am now! I'm just a burden!" Tears come to my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.

Maxon hugs me from behind. "Hey, hey. It's ok, Bella. It's ok."

"No, it's not fucking ok," I say, ripping myself out of his embrace. "I'm a fucking mess, Maxon. And this is just with the two of us! What happens when we have kids? I'll be even more of a mess. So no, I'm not ok, Maxon. I'm not fucking ok." I allow the tears to fall now. I realize that now my makeup will be ruined. "Fuck!" I scream, walking out the door to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. I'm so fucking disappointed in myself for being who I am. I take a deep breath. Stop it, Bella! I force a smile and get to work on fixing my makeup.

Once I finish my makeup I take a look in the tri-fold mirror. I see my dress and remember that it's Valentine's Day. Fuck! I've been such a bitch to everyone-but especially Maxon. I whimper but quickly cover my mouth with my hand.

I hear a knock on the door. "Bella? Are you ok in there?" I hear Maxon call through the door.

"Yeah!" I shout back. I take a deep breath and open the door. "I'm so sorry, Maxon," I say hugging him. He seems thrown off by my hug but quickly hugs me back.

He places his chin on my head. "It's alright, my dear. It's alright," he says rocking us back and forth. "I forgive you, Bella. It's alright."

I choke back tears, not wanting to ruin my makeup once again. "Thanks, Maxon. I love you, you know." I bring my lips to his. He's very gentle with this kiss-almost cautious. He cups my head with his hand, deepening the kiss. He opens my mouth with his tongue and I moan. His free hand moves to my hip, then to my ass. He cups my ass, pulling me closer to himself. I feel his bulge and know if I don't cut this off now we'll be having sex again. I gently pull away. "Maxon, we can do that tonight. Right now we have guests," I say, gesturing toward the party room.

"You're right," he grumbles. "Although I wish you weren't." He leans in to give me a chaste kiss then holds out his arm. "Shall we rejoin the party?"

I place my hand in the crook of his elbow. "Of course," I say.

We return to the party and find everyone sitting nervously on the couch. "What's going on, guys?" Maxon asks.

"Are you guys…are you guys ok now?" Aspen asks standing up.

"Yes, why?" I ask, glancing at America. She doesn't meet my eyes.

"You guys have been…fighting a lot today," Marlee says. "Are you guys…reconsidering the marriage?" She wrings her hands.

"No!" I respond right away. "We couldn't get divorced anyways; it's against Catholicism besides if there's a good reason."

"We're just working through some stuff," Maxon says, squeezing my hand. "Things we didn't have to deal with before we were married."

All four of them look relieved. Well, I should say three. Carter still seems nervous. "Carter? Are you ok?" I ask. Marlee glances at me and follows my line of sight to Carter. He's fidgeting with his hands; it seems like he's mumbling to himself.

"Carter?" Marlee asks, scooting over to sit closer to him.

"Yes, beautiful?" Carter responds glancing up.

"Are you ok? You seem off," Marlee says, resting her head on his shoulder. Carter shrugs her off. "Carter?" Marlee looks hurt.

"Marlee…I promise it's not against you," Carter says, standing up. "I just…I need some time to think." Carter walks out of the room. Marlee looks ready to cry.

"Marlee," I say, pulling my hand off Maxon's arm and sitting by her. I rub her shoulders. "I'm sure he has a good excuse. Maxon?"

"I'm already on it, my dear." Maxon walks out of the room, following Carter's wake.

"Why would he do this to me?" she asks, burying her head in her hands. I notice she's still not crying. Probably worried about her makeup.

"Marlee, he said it wasn't against you," America says, coming to join us. She sits on the other side of Marlee and rubs her back.

"I know, but why? It's Valentine's Day." I can tell that Marlee is trying not to cry.

"Marlee-" I start but see Maxon walking back into the room. He has a somber expression on his face. I look at him intently. He shrugs his shoulders.

He's in the bathroom, Maxon mouths to me. I nod.

"Marlee-" I try to start again, but this time Carter walks back into the room.

Marlee stands up as soon as she sees him. "Carter, what the hell are you doing?! It's fucking Valentine's Day!"

Carter walks right up to Marlee. He takes a deep breath. "I know, Marlee. Which is why I'm doing this." Carter grabs a box out of his pocket and gets down on one knee. "Marlee Tames, will you marry me?"