Reviews for the first OVA special:
-AsheTDust: Kenma's comment about having faced personality-altering objects was meant to reference an escapade that, at the time I was writing this, has not yet happened. Once it DOES occur, I'll go back and rewrite it to specifically be referring to that escapade, flashback included.
Episode 14:
"Mousse on the Loose!"
featuring the voices of:
JUNE FORAY/MIYOKO ASŌ as Cologne
ADAM WYLIE/TOSHIHIKO SEKI as Mousse
VERONICA TAYLOR/KAPPEI YAMAGUCHI/MEGUMI HAYASHIBARA as Ranma/Ranko
CRISPIN FREEMAN/TOSHIO FURUKAWA as Kenma
NATHAN PRICE/KŌJI TSUJITANI as Hiroshi
ERIC STUART/TAKEHITO KOYASU as Daisuke
LENORE ZANN/MINAMI TAKAYAMA as Nabiki
MICHELE KNOTZ/NORIKO HIDAKA as Akane
ERICA SCHROEDER/REI SAKUMA as Shampoo
EILEEN STEVENS/HIROMI "Bulma" TSURU as Ukyo
EVELYN LANTO (credited as CARRIE KERANEN)/MAYUMI "Luffy" TANAKA as Ryunosuke
JEREMY LEVY/NAOKI "Oolong" TATSUTA as Junichi
NOTE: First episode to be dubbed by Central Park Media where Veronica Taylor plays both Ranma AND Ranko; subsequently, her voice for Male Ranma sounds like an older Ash Ketchum, while her voice for Ranko sounds like the 2003 April O'Neil from the 4Kids TMNT cartoon.
As well as first CPM dubbed episode to include Lenore Zann as Nabiki. So her voice sounds like Rogue from X-Men (1992) without the accent.
This will probably be the last episode I release before Christmas.
So, to all my faithful readers, I bid thee: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and A Festivus for the Rest of Us!
Honestly, why do these things happen to us? Can't we just have a bit of peace and quiet?
These were the thoughts currently running through Kenma Saotome's mind. You see, in case you missed the last episode, he, Ranma, and Ukyo had just finished outsmarting an alien named Lum and through this, they saved the whole world, but just as they were about to start celebrating, they were interrupted by the arrival of the mysterious old woman calling herself 'Cologne'.
What sort of trouble will her presence bring? Let's find out!
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
"So you're Shampoo's great-grandmother?" asked Kenma, looking her over. "...well, nobody could call you a liar, that's for certain." The diminutive woman was DEFINITELY up there in years.
"That I am, boy," Cologne nodded in reply.
"So what brings you here?" Kenma inquired. "Checking up on your granddaughter?"
"Perhaps," Cologne replied. "As well as seeing with my own eyes the youngster who stole her heart. It's funny...when she returned to China without completing her mission, I was ready to punish her for failing. The punishment, of course, is a trip to the Jusenkyo springs."
Ranma turned around and nearly spat out his root beer. This old buzzard knew about those lousy cursed springs?
"But from the way she talked of you, it gave me an idea," said Cologne.
"And what, pray tell, might THAT be?" Kenma asked.
"To ensure that you and Shampoo will end up together," Cologne smirked, giving a dry chuckle. "Y'might as well accept it, kid. You can't fight fate."
"Like I said before, I kick fate in the groin," commented Kenma. "I'm with Shampoo AND Nabiki."
"Ohhh...well, that simply won't do," Cologne shook her head. "Y'see, anyone who's going to marry one of the Joketsuzoku can only be married to one of them."
"Well, I'm gonna marry her on my own terms," Kenma retorted as he took a big swig of his root beer. "And if anyone's going to decide, it won't be some ancient biddy."
"Is that a fact?" Cologne inquired, raising a brow. "Well, in a few days' time...you'll be begging to marry Shampoo only."
"Do I look like a dog?" Kenma retorted as he got a refill on his root beer. "Take off, why don'cha?"
Cologne left, but chuckled sneakily to herself all the way. Kenma squinted suspiciously, watching her go.
What exactly could that old buzzard be plotting? he thought.
MEANWHILE, IN THE MINATO WARD...
A mysterious young man wearing a nondescript mask over his face was making his way through the Juban district atop a shiny orange bicycle; he wore a long, white robe with a diamond pattern on the chest with black cuffs, and voluminous sleeves. On his head was long black hair that trailed down to a little past his shoulders. His ominous aura was causing some of the other people nearby to whisper in curiosity about him.
I'm almost to Nerima, he thought as he continued trekking further. And when I get there, I shall track down this 'Kenma Saotome'...and then? He will DIE! Just hang in there, my darling Shampoo. With my fearsome techniques, your champion shall defeat this wretched 'Monkey Boy' Kenma, and then you'll understand that without a doubt, we're meant to be!
He chuckled darkly to himself as he continued pedaling towards his destination.
THE NEXT DAY...
Things had mostly quieted down following the celebration from yesterday; Ranma, Kenma, Ukyo, Hiroshi, Daisuke, Junichi, and Ryunosuke were taking a walk to school with Nabiki, Shampoo and Akane.
"Man, I can't believe how quickly everyone moved on from yesterday," commented Daisuke.
"Looks like we were a flash-in-the-pan, my man," responded Hiroshi. "But maybe it's for the best. I don't think I coulda dealt with paparazzis hounding me for my autograph 24/7."
"I hear those guys don't even quit bugging you when you're usin' the toilet," remarked Nabiki. "Talk about obnoxiousness!"
"Fellas, fellas, relax, wouldja?" suggested Ranma. "We came together, saved th' whole stinkin' world, and now everyone on Earth with access to news media knows it! I say we just kick back and enjoy that feeling while it subsists."
"Smart move, Ranma-honey," smiled Ukyo. "Besides, I should be getting all sorts of customers; every one of them, coming from near and far to buy the okonomiyaki that helped save humanity!"
"Big deal, you saved the day," Akane rolled her eyes. "Can we just drop it already? Let's get a move on or else we're gonna be late!"
"Correction: we saved the planet," clarified Junichi as the group decided to speed up. "That's not just a big deal, it's a gargantuan deal!"
When the group arrived at school, to their surprise, the Hentai Horde parted like the Red Sea, clearing a path for the group to pass through.
"OK, they've NEVER done that before," noted Nabiki. "Looks like they heard the news, too."
"We better strike while the iron is hot," advised Kenma, as he escorted Nabiki towards the school entrance.
"My, aren't we the gentleman?~" the brunette smirked as she let him hold her hand on the way there.
Ranma glanced at them, and then at Ukyo. Deciding to take it one step further, he picked her up in his arms, bridal-style, and carried her towards the door. The okonomiyaki chef found herself red-faced with surprise, but she wasn't about to object to this, that's for sure.
Besides, it felt pretty relaxing being up against his chest. Plus his heartbeat felt quite soothing. Ukyo tried to say something, but all that came out of her mouth was, "Guahsifoskgoawkhu..."
I have no idea what I'm doing, thought Ranma. But Ucchan sure likes it. So I should probably keep it up until she asks to stop.
As the group went indoors, the masked stranger had somehow managed to make his way to Furinkan High.
So this shall be the site of my revenge? A school? he thought. In a way, it's rather apropos...here I shall teach Kenma Saotome a very painful lesson.
Most of the day passed as normal, including Kuno's usual blustering—this time it was about how he managed to hold off that hostile alien and single-handedly woo her through combat, until the Saotome boys and their friends bungled onto the scene and somehow distracted her enough for him to defeat her—but of course, his tale was met with derisive remarks.
"Oh, I'm soooo sure!"
"How'd you beat her? Did she hear your Shakespearean bullcrap and laugh herself silly?"
"All you have is that dinky wooden sword! Like that's gonna hold up against a superpowered alien!"
"Insolent curs!" Kuno spat. "I'll have you know that my prowess is known across the planet AND throughout the galaxy!"
"Sure it is," remarked another student. "I'll be glad to ask about it when I drop by Planet Reality."
The student body erupted into laughter, and for once in his life Kuno was assuaged by shame that managed to penetrate his usual blustering aura.
Shortly after lunch came the recreational period, , which let the students outside to play, or talk, or do whatever. Ranma, Ukyo, and the others were partaking in it when, out of nowhere, a mysterious masked stranger appeared, standing amidst the other students. He stood out on account of his long-sleeved white coat, AND his blank mask.
"...I'm not the only one seeing that, am I?" inquired Daisuke, looking to the others.
"Nope."
"If that's the case, we're ALL hallucinating."
"I see it too."
"...good. Good." Daisuke nodded.
The masked stranger pointed a sleeve at Ranma. "So, Kenma Saotome...I've found you at last," he declared. "Now I can properly administer your punishment!"
Instantly, the group members all glanced at Ranma. "...is he talking to you?" they asked, confused.
"How should I know?" replied Ranma. "The guy asked for Kenma, but Kenma's not even here."
He then called out. "Hey! Who are you talking to?" he shouted.
"Don't play dumb, Kenma, it doesn't suit you," the stranger retorted. "I know you've taken Shampoo and ensnared her in your wicked clutches, but I won't let it persist! I plan to stop it here and now."
"Dude, I'm over here," Ranma said from behind him.
Turned out the guy was facing a poster on the wall. This prompted him to turn in the direction of the voice. "Eh?" he asked, now turning to face Ranma. "Well? You heard me! I already told you my intentions, and I really don't feel like saying them again!"
"Yeah, yeah, sure, buddy," Ranma stated. "Only one problem with that: I'm NOT Kenma."
"Wait, what?" the stranger asked as he threw his mask off, then took out a pair of thick, coke-bottle glasses and put them on. "...you have black hair! You really AREN'T Kenma! Man, what a waste of a declaraction...and I worked so hard on it, too! I got cue cards and everything...well, they're SOMEWHERE in here."
The group turned to Shampoo, who was glowering at the bespectacled stranger. "So, sugar, do you know this yahoo?" asked Ukyo. "Doin' an awful lotta glowering at somebody who's a stranger."
Shampoo gave an annoyed sigh. "His name's Mousse," she explained. "We used to be childhood friends, but ever since he learned about the amazon rules, he's always been trying to challenge me so he can win my hand in marriage. He's been at it ever since we were only three, and it's only gotten more annoying. At first it was fun kicking his butt so often, but then it got dull. It didn't help that whenever any other suitors came hoping to challenge me, Mousse would flip out and scare them all off, like he'd called dibs on me."
"Talk about not knowing when to take no for an answer," commented Ukyo.
"Sounds almost like Kuno," Ryno chimed in.
"SHUT UP!" Mousse shouted. "Shampoo and I are DESTINED to be together, and I'll keep fighting until she realizes that it's true! But first, I'll need to get rid of my competition—which means Kenma Saotome must die!"
The bespectacled boy glanced around. "...so, where is he?" he asked.
"Like we'd tell you!" retorted Daisuke.
"So that's how it's gonna be, eh?" asked Mousse. "If you want to protect Kenma, then fine; you can die first, and that'll bring him running!"
"Weeeell, now...there's no need for such violent action," said a voice from nearby, causing Mousse to turn to his left. Standing at the edge of the playground was Kenma, decked out in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat and poncho. [In case you're wondering where he got them, he made a stop by the drama club and borrowed some stuff from their costume trunk.]
"Are you Kenma Saotome?" inquired Mousse.
"Maybe," Kenma responded. "Does he have red hair, like this?" he asked, lifting his hat and showing off his scarlet locks.
"I...I think so," Mousse nodded.
"And does he have a tail, like this?" asked Kenma, waving his long, rope-like tail before him and smacking Mousse in the face a couple of times.
Thwap! Thwap! Thwap!
"Uh, yeah," Mousse replied. "That's what I was told."
"And does he shout like this?" Kenma inquired, leaning up-close to Mousse's ear. "...TEYANDEE!" he bellowed, loud enough to send Mousse sprawling across the playground.
"Y-yeah...!" Mousse beamed as he regained his bearings. "Have you seen him?"
"Ehhhh, nope." Kenma shrugged. "Haven't seen 'im. Sorry, buddy-boy."
Mousse deflated. "...oh," he sighed, looking like he'd just had his ice cream cone confiscated before even getting a chance to lick it.
Ranma, Ukyo, Hiroshi, Daisuke, Junichi, and Ryunosuke looked absolutely dumbstruck. They could scarcely believe their eyes or ears. There was no way that somebody could actually be THIS much of a moron!
Shampoo, however, was covering her mouth and trying not to burst out laughing. Having known Mousse for most of her life, she could definitely tell you first-hand that he was pretty damn gullible, which helped her defeat him in numerous battles. Of course, seeing Kenma use this to pull the wool over his eyes made it feel loads funnier.
From the rooftop, Cologne watched in interest.
Figures that near-sighted ninny would come trying to win my great-granddaughter's hand in marriage, she thought to herself. I was about to go down and give him a taste of my staff, but it looks like Son-in-Law has it handled...not to mention, in such an amusing manner. Women appreciate someone who can make them laugh, no ifs, ands or buts about it. And I do believe that handles ONE problem for now...but of course, I'll simply bide my time until Son-in-Law's brother is all by himself. And from there...I'll strike...
And with a sly cackle under her breath, Cologne hopped away, bounding over rooftop after rooftop.
LATER THAT DAY...
Ranma, Kenma, Shampoo, and Nabiki were walking home with the others. Of course, Ukyo was holding Ranma's hand, and Nabiki was being carried home, bridal-style, by Kenma.
"Now that was a party, huh?" asked Ryunosuke.
"And how!" agreed Ukyo. "Here I was, thinking everybody completely forgot about how we saved the world!"
"Who'd have thought they were waiting until the end of the day to throw us a celebration party?" asked Ranma, remembering the moment as clear as day.
... ... ...
Smells like a flashback!
"Did you guys get a note, too?" asked Kenma as he held up a folded piece of paper. It read:
Dear _Kenma Saotome_, please come to the gymnasium at the end of today's school day. There is a surprise waiting for you.
Ranma and Ukyo nodded in agreement, both of them holding up the notes they received. Their textual contents looked similar, but they had their respective names in the blanks.
Standing before the doors of the gym, the three pulled them open and walked in, on full-alert as they entered the darkened room. Suddenly, the lights all turned on, revealing the entirety of Furinkan High's student body, which erupted in a massive cheer!
From the ceiling, a banner emerged, labeled:
FOR RANMA, KENMA, AND UKYO—
THANKS FOR SAVING THE PLANET!
In addition to the words, there were cute-looking chibi drawings of the three's heads on both sides of the banner.
"Whoa...all this is for US?" asked Ranma, in disbelief.
"You bet it is!" said Daisuke. "Not every day somebody manages something as incredible as defeating an alien in battle!"
"We found out during second period, and we promised we'd keep it secret if we got to help," Junichi added.
"So, whaddya think?" asked Ryno.
"Honestly?" replied Ukyo. "I think it's beautiful. Thanks so much, guys."
"No problem," nodded Nabiki. "...so, is this a party or what? Let's get to it!"
"You took the words right outta my mouth!" Kenma beamed as he did a fist-pump. "TEYANDEE!"
Flashback, complete.
... ... ...
"And it sure was a good one," said Ranma as they reached the Tendo Dojo. "Well, guys, this is our stop!"
"See you tomorrow," said Junichi as he headed next door. Their friends waved as the group parted ways for the evening, while Cologne watched from a rooftop with interest.
Only a matter of time before Son-in-Law's brother is by himself, she thought. And then...it begins.
And she drew forth a pair of knitting needles, then began knitting out a scarf.
... ... ...
About an hour had passed, and Cologne had managed to successfully knit not only a scarf, but a hat and some mittens to go with it.
"Ah, there we go," she said as she placed the needles back into storage, and pogoed her way towards the Tendo Dojo. Seconds later, she landed in the backyard, where Ranma was doing a few punches and kicks.
"What are you doing here, granny?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I just came by to see if my future great-grandson-in-law was available," acknowledged Cologne.
Ranma just shrugged. "He's busy right now," he told her. "I'll pass it along for ya."
Cologne rubbed her chin in thought. "My son-in-law definitely cares for you, does he not?" she inquired.
"I guess," Ranma responded. "I mean, we ARE brothers...and we look out for each other."
"Ah, of course," nodded Cologne as she took the information in. Before Ranma could even react, she immediately gave Ranma a quick poke in the upper-right-side region of his abdomen.
A chill traveled up Ranma's spine, but he shook it off. "What was that for just now?" he asked.
"Oh, nothing," Cologne smirked. "Merely a taste of what is to come. Once your brother learns of this, he'll be begging me to let him marry only Shampoo."
And once more, she pogoed away, leaving Ranma standing there by himself.
"...seriously, why was she even here?" he asked out loud. Shaking his head, he went back into the house; from the way he felt, he could swear he was starting to smell a bit ripe.
When Ranma started washing himself in the tub, however, he found a nasty surprise.
"OW! TOO HOT! TOO HOT!" he screamed. For some strange reason, any sort of hot water, even LUKEWARM, felt absolutely scalding against his skin!
Winceing, he had to dump cold water on himself, turning into Ranko. Seconds after she did this, there were fast-moving footfalls approaching the bathroom.
Immediately, Kenma burst inside. "Ranma! What's wrong?" he asked, his tone alert.
"I was trying to take a bath..." responded Ranko, shivering. "...but the water's too damn hot!"
Kenma walked over and put his hand into the tub, swishing it around. "Strange...it's lukewarm," he muttered. "But how could this be?"
Suddenly, Ranko snapped her fingers in realization. "The old woman from earlier!" she exclaimed. "She jabbed me with her cane a little while ago...I thought she was just trying to rile me up...but clearly she did something to me..."
Kenma turned to face Ranko. "Old woman...you don't mean—" he started. Before he could continue, there came a weathered chuckle from the windowsill. As it opened, the diminutive old lady from earlier poked her head inside.
"YOU!" Kenma spat, as though his words were laced with venom. "What th' hell did you do?"
"Whassamatter, sonny?" Cologne wheezed. "Water too hot for ya t'handle? The pressure-point I touched makes your entire body as sensitive as a cat's tongue! And from now on, even the most lukewarm of waters will be absolutely scalding."
"And—you guys in the audience have probably already guessed this—but if Ranko can't splash herself with hot water, then she can't turn back into a guy!" Kenma exclaimed. "So THAT was your plan, you doddering old codger!"
Cologne smirked. "I'll give your brother the antidote," she replied. "But ONLY if you promise to marry Shampoo."
"How about I trade you?" Kenma growled. "ONE KNUCKLE SANDWICH, HOLD THE MUSTARD!"
Winding up his fist, he swung at Cologne, who just knocked him backwards into the wall, and left.
"Remember, child," the elderly woman called. "Unless you agree, then your brother will stay a woman FOREVER! He shall NEVER become a man again!"
Kenma clenched his fists angrily as he fumed. "Just you wait...you old biddy!" he fumed, his eyes glowing red. "You're gonna learn that when you mess with the monkey, you're gonna get SCRATCHED!"
Looks like Kenma is all fired up, and he's ready to rise to the challenge. But you'd better watch out, because Cologne's tougher than she looks—not to mention, Mousse hasn't exactly left town.
"HEY, WAIT A SECOND!" the bespectacled boy exclaimed as he shot up. "THAT WAS KENMA! YOU MIGHT'VE TRICKED ME ONCE, BUT YOU WON'T TRICK ME AGAIN!"
Stay tuned for scenes from the next "Ranma 1/2"!
In our next episode, Kenma learns from Shampoo about the mysterious "Phoenix Pill", the cure for the curse placed upon Ranma's body that prevents him from turning back into a man!
But of course, in order to snag the pill, he must contend with the wily Cologne, Joketsuzoku elder...not to mention the meddling of Mousse! Although, according to Shampoo, there might just be a technique that could help even the odds. Can the Saotome Siblings figure this out, or will Ranma have to start wearing blouses on a regular basis? Find out by joining us next time for..
HOT TO THE TOUCH
or
I'M JUST NUTS ABOUT YOU
"The Kachu-Tenshin-Amaguriken Technique"