"Mommy, what are ghouls?" The little girl asked her mother, eyes sleepily open as she lay in the bed.
Her mother smiled and looked at her sleepy daughter with a slight sadness.
"Ghouls… are creatures that have been here since the beginning of human history. They're strong, monstrous cannibals that feed upon us innocent people for food," The mother paused, "And why are you so interested in this?"
"Because mommy...I was wondering if monsters could ever become like us?" The shrieking sound of his alarm snatched him away from his dream, and Kaneki silenced it.
A weird dream.
Turning his head to read the clock, 7:11 am.
Gradually moving off his bed, if he had laid around any longer, he would be later than usual. A habit that his mother had formed from overworking so much.
Rushing to do his essentials for the day and 'try' to at least make it to his first class of the day on time. The house was always quiet. It didn't bother him, but it was lonely without a complete family inside of it. Nothing mattered much to him anymore; his loving mother was gone, and he could hardly remember his father since he passed away at a young age.
All he had was himself and his friend, Hide.
"Welcome to Kami University," he mouthed to himself. The sign was a signal for new beginnings, a new chance at life.
"KANEKIIIIII!"
"That voice… That was… Hide?" The orange-haired boy tackled Kaneki, sending them both to the ground as Hide hugged his friend.
"Hide; what are you doing?" Kaneki stated as he stared at his best friend with a small smile. The boy had known him for most of his life and protected Kaneki from the bullies in school. Sometimes, Hide would even sneak out and sleep over at his place. Not that he cared. The guy was the definition of positivity.
"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after we finish classes for today. You know, go out, see some ladies, go to the bookstore for you." He dragged his statement on, marking all the places and things they could go do."
I don't know if I want to go out. But I don't want to disappoint him.
"Hide? Hide? Hide!?" Kaneki continued to call out his name before the boy finally snapped out of his long list of places.
"Huh? Oh yeah, Kaneki. I'm sorry. I kinda got side-tracked, and you what not, you know." Hide mentioned as he rubbed his head sheepishly, feeling quite bad that he had bombarded his friend with a list of places and things they could do.
"We can go, but can't you please get off of me?" Kaneki pointed at his friend's heavy body on top of him.
"My bad, Kaneki." Hide stated as he jumped up and held his hand to pull the man up. "I need to go to class, Kaneki, so I'll see you later." Hide shouted as he ran off in the distance, waving his hand in the distance.
Kaneki sighed as he made his way back to the class, wondering if he could go the rest of the day without something happening.
"I didn't set up a meeting place. Awe well, I might as well call him." Hide took out his phone and called Kaneki.
Hopefully, he won't be too upset with me.
Waiting on the phone to stop buzzing, he finally got his wish as Kaneki had answered.
"Kaneki, where are you?"
"Hide. I'm at the gate waiting for you. It's been 5 minutes or so. And I'm not trying to get a tan, so come on, please." Kaneki said in a half pleading, half annoyed tone."
"I'm coming! I'm coming! Don't go anywhere, Kaneki!" Hide answered as he ran to their new rendezvous location.
He spotted Kaneki reading a book. However, he could not think of the name of such a book for his life. Goat Egg? Black goat? The Black Goat's Egg? The guy never waited for an opportunity to read; ever since he knew the guy, he had always had a book.
The sound of running had alerted Kaneki, which caused him to look up from his book; he saw Hide running toward him. However, the boy ran like a madman, not giving Kaneki time to avoid another one of his friend's tackles.
They crashed into the ground from the tackle, leading to a small fit of laughter from both boys as they got up. "So, where are we going first, Hide?" Kaneki asked as he dusted himself off.
"Well, to make it up to you for tackling and being late. I decided that we could start by going to the bookstore and cafe. Because you know it's a few of your favorite hobbies." Hide stated energetically.
"Thanks, Hide," Kaneki smiled at his friend's consideration.
"Well, let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Hide stated.
They headed to their first destination, the bookstore.
"Is there an event or something going on today, Kaneki?" Hide asked, bewildered by sight before him. The store was crowded; people were lining up for something, but he couldn't tell for what.
"It's usually quite empty and silent. But what makes today so different?" Kaneki replied. The two ventured further into the store; seeing a famous author was the source of all the attention.
"Sen Takatsuki," Kankei said quietly in admiration. "She is my favorite author Hide. Do you think she'll sign my book?" Approaching a woman, in general, was a huge task for him; but a woman of her stature was a task he considered pretty impossible.
"Well, Kaneki, it's time to find out." Hide stated as he dragged Kaneki to the author, not allowing for his friend's timidness to steal away this chance.
Finally, making it to the desk and seeing the author, Kaneki could only think of one word; "Beautiful."
Did I just say that out loud? His face turned red, and he watched the woman's expression change.
"Thank you for the compliment, sir. Do you have a book to be signed? Or did you come all this way to compliment me?" The author smiled at him, and Kaneki could only stare in admiration.
Hide, seeing his friend, is embarrassed, "He would like you to sign his book. He's just timid, is all. Is that right, Kaneki?" Then, regaining his senses, he nodded and handed her his book.
"Kaneki, that's a cute name," Sen giggled softly, and she signed the boy's book. Although, there was something deeper beneath that sweet, timid boy.
"What's your favorite thing about this book, if you don't mind me asking ?" Sen questioned, gauging his expression and eventually answer to her question.
"The novel reminds me of certain things I can relate to. The characters have deep motivations; the world is built in realism and themes that make the book more interesting," Kankei said.
Kaneki forgot the nervousness as he detailed his joy for his favorite novel.
Sen looked into Kaneki's eye, noticing the boy's hidden depression, the mask that would hide it from the average person or ghoul...
She licked her lips, thinking of the young man's potential prospects. Mr. Kaneki, you are very interesting, she thought to herself. Then, giving the book back to Kaneki, "I'll see you again, Kaneki." She stated cryptically.
Kaneki and Hide walked out of the store with different thoughts about what had happened. Hide figured that his friend would get a piece of the action by how the author was so intently staring at Kaneki. Meanwhile, Kaneki was enveloped in thoughts he had brought rid of or, better yet, repressed such memories. He sighed while they made their way to the cafe known as Anteiku.
The two went inside the cafe, noting the aromas of fresh coffee in the air and the few people that were actually in the cafe. One, in particular, was a woman with long purple hair reading a book similar to Kaneki's. They found a spot near the window and looked out, observing the bustling streets of Tokyo.
"Do you think something was off with that author in the bookstore?" Hide asked as he prepared his order.
"What do you mean by that Hide?" Kankei asked as he looked over the cafe menu.
"What I mean is that she looked at you like food or some type of experiment. Then she was kinda creepy in a way, Kaneki." Hide signaled the waitress that they were ready to order.
"Maybe you are just overthinking, but maybe you could be right. Sen looked at me in a way that no one had before, almost as if I were—" Kaneki was cut off as the waitress asked what they wanted.
Hide looked at her, "It is rude not to give your name first 'miss.' However, I would just like a mocha."
Kankei looked at the woman, noticing her purple, short hair and eyes filled with annoyance from his friend. "Miss, can I just have a coffee?"
With a slight grumble, she looked at the two and said, "My name is Touka." Then, as she finished writing down both orders, she disappeared into the back.
"How can she even work here? She is so rude." Hide stated. "But she does have a nice body, eh right Kaneki?" Hide asked his friend.
"I did not look at her like that, Hide; besides, you appear to have a small interest in her." Kankei retorted with a slight smirk.
"I have no idea what you are talking about, Kaneki." Hide stated. He looked over to see that the purple hair woman was still reading her book, and he decided to get some payback on his dear friend Kaneki.
Oh, Kankei, it's time for you to get a date. Hide thought evilly to himself.
Their beverages had arrived, as Touka placed them on the table and left, not wanting to be bothered with the orange-haired guy, in particular. Hide, seeing his newfound opportunity, walked over to the purple lady, as he would now dub her.
"Um, miss, my friend would like to talk to you about that book you have in your hand." Hide said as the lady stared at him with interest.
"Would he now? Why would he want to do that?" The purple lady asked.
"That is because you two are reading books by the same author." Hide stated. He thought of his genius for noticing the author's name on her book.
"Well, where is he?" She asked.
He pointed to the table where Kaneki was, and she nodded—getting up as they made their way to Kaneki.
Kaneki looked over to see his friend bringing a woman over to him, and he internally cursed Hide for his actions. Seeing them move closer only made him anxious as he fidgeted in his place.
"Kaneki! Something came up, and I have to go see ya later!" Hide exclaimed, grabbing his mocha and winking at Kaneki as he bolted out of the store, laughing evilly.
The lady sat on the other side of Kaneki, wondering why he seemed so nervous. " Uh...Hello there, Miss," he stated nervously and shyly, making the woman giggle at timidness.
"My name is Rize, so you don't have to call me to miss, it makes me feel old. And I presume your name is Kaneki?" She questioned.
"Yes-s it is Ken Kaneki ma'am." Kankei stuttered.
"You wanted to talk to me about the book ?" The now known Rize had stated.
She looked over at Kaneki, observing his characteristics. The black hair looked soft as pillows, the black eyes were as soft as a puppy at first glance, and the air of timid but sadness he held around himself.
Getting himself together, Kaneki realized how this would be his first date-like interaction with a woman in a very long time. Life can't get any worse than this. He thought to himself.
"Yes, I would like to talk about the book," Kaneki started, gaining some confidence, as she smiled in a way that melted his heart.
They talked about books of Sen for hours on end as the day turned into night. "Well, I should be on my way home now, but I am too scared to walk home at night. You know, with the ghouls and all." Rize stated, making her fear well known.
"I can walk you home if you don't mind, Miss Rize," Kankei stated.
"I would like that, Mr. Kaneki," Rize stated as they made their way out of the cafe leaving the staff of Anteiku, especially Touka, to worry for the poor boy.
Hopefully, he doesn't end up as her meal tonight. Touka sighed, closing the store; the guy was less aggravating than his companion.
The moon hung high in the sky, illuminating the city of Tokyo as the young duo walked down the path. Rize grasped Kaneki's hand, causing his pale face to turn a bright red.
"I had a good time with you today, Kaneki," Rize stated, leaning against the man; her breast pushed into his shoulder.
"I did as well, Miss Rize. You are very intellectual." Kaneki complimented the woman; nervousness had now faded away; the warm air of the night and lights gave him peace. He was on a date with a girl he would never have thought possible. Hide would have to receive some praise for setting him up this time.
"Thank you, Kaneki. We don't have to be so formal. I like you. You are adorable and handsome."
"You like me?"
"I do. I want you, Kaneki," Rize pushed him against the wall. Not letting the man protest, she bit his lips, then transitioned into a kiss.
Tasty.
For Kaneki, this was shocking; this woman had taken control of the situation. Is this love? He could feel her chest, the coldness of her lips. It was magic, a perfect way to end the night. Moving his hands to her waist, he deepened the kiss as they delved further.
"Do you want this to go further, mister?" Then, slipping her hands into his pants, "Do you want me to pleasure you in this alley."
Kaneki nodded; euphoria was the only way he could describe it. Intimacy with a woman, for the first time, that loneliness that he held in so much was dissipating.
Rize removed her glasses, "You have to be a lucky boy; this is my first time doing this."
He looked around at their surroundings. There wasn't much around during this late night, but he didn't want to be caught in this situation. The worrying thoughts disappeared, replaced by the rush of pleasure as Kaneki bit his lips.
Rize had taken his member into her mouth, teasing the man with different motions of her mouth.
Kaneki quietly groaned, grabbing tufts of Rize's hair. She was good at this, especially for her first time. But, of course, I had to be unique for her to want to do this with me; on the first date of all things.
The now-warmed lips enticed him more; the sensation and a view of her purple eyes and the pale breast contained in her bra were her largest assets. This was a new experience for him and a much appreciated one. Compared to what he had to do alone, this was a newfound pleasure.
Humming sounds that she made lulled him into the experience. Now more comfortable, Kaneki watched as she swallowed the remaining length and moved back, revealing the tip.
"More, Rize. I'm close."
Without a word, she went back to bobbing her head, now at a much faster pace, as she continued to please the man. The member twitched inside her mouth, and Kaneki's grip tightened, cumming inside his date's mouth.
"Maybe I can come to your place next time and finish what we started, Mr. Kankei?" Then, zipping up his pants and standing back up. Although the man's face was completely red, she was pleased with her work.
Dazed by the aftermath, Kaneki could hardly register the words she was saying to him. Instead, he simply nodded in agreement. Rize was a wild card; he had thought she was innocent and lovely. Now he didn't know what to think or do at this point in time.
"I know a shortcut, Mr. Kaneki," Rize mentioned, leading them to a construction area. Kaneki felt at ease not worrying about the shortcut; he could trust her.
They had stopped, and Kaneki could hear giggling from Rize. Not the cute giggles that had previously made his heart flutter. Instead, frantic and crazed laughing had put his heart into a panic.
"Rize? Are you okay?"
The once purple eyes now had turned red and black.
Kaneki looked at the woman in absolute terror and said, "You are a ghoul!"
I need to run. I need to get away. Right now.
"You still want me? You can't leave a lady unsatisfied, mister."
Her teasing became distant, and his legs moved faster and faster. He couldn't think, only act.
Searing pain went through his shoulder, but he couldn't; he wouldn't stop; the nightmare behind him would kill him.
WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY! !WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!
"I caught you, Mr. Kaneki," the tentacles grabbed his leg and came face to face with the woman.
"..."
"That expression… I need more of it. More!" Throwing the boy into the nearby wall, crashing him into the nearby construction.
My life.
"That pale skin that holds in all your sweet flesh and delicious blood makes me feel warm in many places. I will enjoy torturing you and ripping all your organs out of your slim frame." Rize dragged Kaneki with her kagune suspending him in the air.
"I like you, Kaneki, if it's any consolidation."
Stabbing him in his kidney, "More, Mr. Kaneki! More!" Rize exclaimed as blood splashed over her clothing and face licking her lips in pleasure.
Kaneki could only feel pain and more pain, eyes closed only to awaken again to the agony he felt from the tentacles stabbing him.
"I love you, Kaneki," was the final thing he heard as everything went dark. Kaneki awoke in a world of pain.
Was yesterday… real?
Hoping that yesterday was just a horrible nightmare and that he could just pass it off. However, life wasn't so fortunate as they informed him he was in a tragic accident. Furthermore, Miss Rize's vital organs were transplanted inside of him.
"Dr. Kanou, when can I leave the hospital?" Kankei had asked, more depressed than ever, realizing that he may just be a monster.
"We will keep you here for a week to track your vitals and health. After that, you will be discharged and free to go." The doctor stated with a smile that put Kaneki at some ease.
"Thank you, doctor," Kankei said as he closed his eyes falling back to sleep.
The incident had made Kaneki more worried about the fact that he had a part of a monster inside him. He was discharged from the hospital, so he decided to go home that night to see if he could regain a sense of normality. Hide was probably worried about him too. It was a week that passed since that incident.
Kaneki opened his phone, reading the messages that Hide had sent him.
[Hide]: Wasup, man. Did you get to do the thing with that girl I set you up with?
If only you knew, Hide. Worse date of my life.
[Hide]: Hey, Kaneki. Are you still with that girl?
[Hide]: It's been two days, man. Are you okay?
[Hide]: Did that girl rob you or something?
Nope, just almost got eaten and killed by a ghoul.
[Hide]: Kaneki?
[Hide]: Are you dead?
I wish I were.
[Hide]: I went by your place, and you weren't there. You're worrying me a lot.
[Hide]: Worried about you, man. Text me or call me. Soon as you see this.
[Kaneki]: I'm okay. I even got lucky :)
Not lucky enough.
Putting his phone down, Kaneki could feel his stomach rumbling. A hamburger would be nice.
He cooked the meal and decided to bite into it. Swallowing the meat tasted like eating rotten fish eggs. A pure atrocity, he bit it again, throwing up the meal in his bathroom.
His stomach growled and protested in disgust.
Is it because of the transplant? This can't be right.
Kaneki ran to the kitchen; he had to be normal. He was just an average person. Trying every ounce of food had led to him throwing up again and again.
"I can't be a monster. Please…" Tears escaped his eyes as he curled up into a ball. This couldn't be his life. Why couldn't he have just died that night? To be free of this burden and from all the suffering he faced daily. An end that would relieve him of all this: suicide.
Slinking himself up, the longer he delayed a meal, the worse it felt. The effects of the hunger were overtaking him, and he knew that only one thing could satisfy a monster's need.
Human flesh.
He slammed his head into the wall as he cried, "I don't want to be a monster! I don't want to be a monster!" The hunger only grew as the night passed, and his mental state was deteriorating by the hour. Days had passed, and he hated himself more and more every day. "I won't eat a person," Kaneki strengthened his resolve and grabbed a knife from the kitchen.
"I will end this hell! I will not hurt anyone! I refuse!" Kankei exclaimed as he stabbed himself in the stomach, only for the knife to break into pieces. He screamed as the twisted reality set in.
I can't stay inside. It will only make me more depressed to look at this food. And not be able to eat any of it. Kaneki put on his raincoat and took his phone, texting Hide once more:
[Kaneki]: Thank you for always being there for me, Hide.
With that, he walked outside. The streets were semi-empty, and the downpour was louder than any of his thoughts. But, for once, he could find peace, and that was in the rain.
Wandering this late at night was dangerous; ghouls were said to lurk and linger around this time to find easy prey. After his encounter with Rize, Kaneki wanted to regain his freedom and normality, to be free from the curse of living.
"Hey, man. Watch where you are going."
"Sorry," Kaneki brushed passed the stranger. Temptations to eat were growing; soon, he would end up hurting an innocent person.
Unconsciously, his mouth began to drool. Something smelled good. It reminded him of his mother's cooking.
Body moving without control, it followed the scent to a nearby alley.
A fresh corpse had invaded his senses, heaven to a hungry Kaneki. Unable to rationalize, he ran to the corpse; he stopped looking at it. The fresh flesh and the smell were so good.
I don't want this. Shaking his head at the thought of even eating a person.
"Eat the dead man, Kaneki." A lamented visage of Rize loomed over his shoulder; there she was, tempting him just to give in and devour the corpse.
"You said it smelled just like your mother's cooking."
"This is wrong," left eye changing into a kakugan, his mouth moving closer to the body.
"Eat it."
"No, I don't want to be like you."
"And what am I, Kaneki? I'm a part of you now. We are one of the same."
"Are you insane or something?"
Kaneki snapped his head up, a ghoul.
"What are you doing in my territory?" The orange-haired ghoul picked Kaneki up by his throat, choking him harder.
"I- just ended up here." Stuttering out from the ghoul's grip.
"You wanted to take my food from me. DO YOU HAVE ANY DECENCY?"
Kaneki froze in fear as the red eyes dug into him. He was terrified.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't going to eat that."
The ghoul smirked, "Yeah, like I believe that I lie. You're dead."
Before he could murder the boy, he heard his name.
"Nishiki," a girl called out, stopping the ghoul from finishing Kaneki.
"What do you want, Touka? Can't you see I'm taking care of business in my territory?"
"This territory belongs to Antieku now, so leave," Touka demanded.
"Rize's dead. So, now it's returning to its original owner; not any of you spineless bastards at that place." Nishiki retorted.
"Do I have to force you to get out of here?" Touka stepped up, kakugan activating. She was in no mood to argue.
Nishiki had enough, "You think a little girl like you is making me do anything?" Letting go of Kaneki and turning around to face Touka. "Make me leave."
With that, the two charged at each other, Nishiki dodging with only a scratch on his cheek.
"Is that the-" Multiple wounds appeared on his body, "You fucking bitch."
"Get out of here, and if you put your hands on him again, then I won't be so nice next time."
In his head, Kaneki was resisting eating the body. He refused to submit to the ghoul's nature, but the desire grew, and so did his will.
Touka walked over to him and grabbed his chin, seeing that one of his eyes was a kakugan.
"Weren't you with Rize?" She questioned, realizing that guy was in no state to answer the question. She had to take a different approach.
"Have you eaten a human yet?" Touka asked.
Kaneki only stared at her for a few seconds before answering, "No, I haven't eaten anyone."
"You need to eat, or you will die. Not that it is my concern what happens to you."
"I will not eat this person," Kaneki stated in defiance, looking away from the purple-haired girl.
Touka looked at him before walking over to the body, grabbing a piece of the corpse's flesh as she brought it close to his face. "You will eat this."
"I already told you, I am not going to eat that. I rather die from hunger than eat like a ghoul." Kaneki stated quietly.
Touka was annoyed, "That is okay because it was not a choice." She slammed the flesh into his mouth and held him against the wall as he began to eat the meat that was forcefully put into his mouth.
Kaneki could feel his body crave more and more as the flesh tasted better than a fine steak or even one of his mother's hamburgers.
"What have I done?" His last moments of reflection before everything went black.
A/N: This is the first chapter, which has been edited and added with new scenes. I'm going back over this story to fix the fast pacing and allow for a more detailed version like I had imagined five years ago. And removing the unnecessary omakes, that are inside the chapters.