II. Fathers
He was always with her. Even when he wasn't physically there, he was always with her.
That was the thing Jennifer Edwards always told herself. And she believed it. She remembered as a little girl when her father would go away on his business trips and leave her home with her mother, he would always say, "I'm always with you, even when I'm far away." Not a day went by when Jennifer did not know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was loved.
When her mother got sick, Pa was around a little more. He was so upset, and Jennifer feared losing both of them. She knew her parents loved each other very deeply, and if Mom didn't get better, would Pa be able to carry on? That was her focus during those difficult years in and out of the hospital. She didn't dare think about how she would carry on without her mother. That wasn't a thought worth considering. She couldn't let herself even fathom what she would do without Mom. She focused instead on Pa.
And then Mom went away and didn't come home. And then Pa went away and barely ever came home. And Jennifer went away and came home alone more often than not.
But he was always with her. She always knew she was loved. Her father was gone for weeks and months at a time, sometimes missing her birthday or other holidays. But it was alright. He was always with her and she was always loved.
Maybe other people would complain and say it wasn't fair and think that a girl deserved better than to lose both her parents like that. Maybe those people were right. Jennifer Edwards, however, was not a person to feel sorry for herself. For how could she? She wanted for nothing, and she considered herself very lucky for that. And there are plenty of people who have a father who lives in the same house with them who don't love them half as much as Pa loved Jennifer. She knew how lucky she was for that, too.
Jennifer grew up to be strong and independent. Perhaps out of necessity, but certainly not out of adversity. She was supported emotionally and financially at every turn. She stood on her own two feet with the secure knowledge that Pa would always be there if she needed him, no matter where in the world he happened to be. Jennifer didn't like to bother him while he was working, however, and just enjoyed the time they had together when he was around.
And she always knew she was loved.
Things changed when she met and fell in love with Jonathan Hart. Jennifer had always known the stark difference between romantic, passionate love and familial, comforting love. The men she had dated were one thing. Her family was another thing. Not so with Jonathan.
Suddenly, Jennifer found herself loving and being loved in an entirely new way. Jonathan was all-consuming for her. The way he loved her was beyond her wildest dreams. And she loved him just as much. They shared passion she could hardly believe. They also shared an adoration and affection that made them both feel so safe and secure. Jennifer was sure that neither she nor Jonathan had ever felt that way before. They'd found this magical thing together. With each other.
Falling in love with Jonathan, as wonderful and life-changing as it was, came with a bonus: Max. Max was another piece of the puzzle to create this perfect life and happy family in the home the three of them would come to share. Max and Jonathan had been a family of their own and Jennifer was lucky enough to get to join them.
Max was certainly an unexpected and wonderful part of the deal for Jennifer. He was endlessly kind and he made her laugh, and Jennifer always had a wonderful time with Max. He, like Jonathan, made her feel safe and at home.
And, of course, while Max was technically an employee and was paid for his services to Jonathan and Jennifer and their house, he was much more than that. He took care of them, not just as a butler and chauffeur and cook but almost as a father. For Jonathan, certainly, but for Jennifer, too.
From Max, Jennifer felt the same kind of unconditional love that she'd always felt from her father. Pa and Max both adored her and were proud of her and made her feel so very safe. Perhaps this was what many people discovered when they got married and gained another set of parents. Jonathan was an orphan, but he had Max, so now Jennifer was effectively Max's daughter-in-law. And she loved it. She loved Jonathan and Max more than anything, and she loved their little family.
But Jennifer came to realize something very different between her father, who she loved so dearly, and Max. Pa was always with her, even when he wasn't. But Max was actually always with her. Jennifer had never wanted to depend on her father unless absolutely necessary because she hadn't wanted to call him away from his work. Jennifer almost didn't have a choice whether or not to depend on Max because he was there. He did things without being asked, he offered to help with whatever else, he constantly did everything in his power to take care of Jonathan and Jennifer. And he was pleased to do it.
Jennifer had always been loved by her father, and now she was loved by Max, too. And she came to learn what a difference it was to have a father who was there with her, who could actually share in her successes and failures right along with her, who could support her in the small and practical parts of life that she'd never really paid attention to before.
Maybe that's what people meant when they'd expressed sympathy for Jennifer having an absent father. Maybe that's what Jennifer had been missing. She'd never felt like she'd been missing anything. And perhaps she wasn't. But with Max, she had gained so much. He truly was the father she'd never had. Even when her own father had always been enough for her. Wasn't she lucky to have both?