333 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Walmart With Swiftdrawer & Friends
Chapter 7: Barbie Timeskip Friendship Finale
Date: February 4th, 2023
I felt like my next one involved the toy section but I couldn't exactly remember. I read it over" 24. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, 'I know where you live...' I almost had to fight with Carlos and Hamaduh over this one. Emphasis on almost because I find arguments annoying. Anyway, time for this!" I head to the toy section after first finding a pair of walkie talkies. After taking them without anyone seeing, I go to the toy section and grab a Barbie doll. Let me reiterate that stealing is only okay when it is necessary for survival or it's just like a few things. The stealing's alright in our case especially since Walmart controls the entire world. I'm not advocating for the purge or anything like that. We only steal things needed for our pranks at the Walmart. As for the guns we took, we figured that since the people who have the most guns are terrible that it would be fine to take them. Besides, once we get the people to rise up, we'll make damn sure they're well armed and have enough food, water, and so on to live. A revolution can only be successful when the people are able to actually live and defend themselves. I just felt like justifying things again in the perspective of what I was like 6 months ago here because things have got me thinking about things like stealing from stores. Back to what went on. With the walkie talkies and Barbie doll in my hand, I got to work. Normally, every box I unbox basically gets destroyed. I somehow avoided destroying the walkie-talkie box this time. I am a destroyer of boxes. Kind of. I get out the Barbie in a area no one will pay any attention. With that done, I unbox the walkie-talkies next. With that done, I get out some tape I forgot to mention I took from a different section as well. Just the simple and crappy clear tape that's only good for some things.
I use the tape to tape a walkie-talkie to the back of the Barbie doll before getting out the other one and putting the doll back where I found it. And then, I got to work. I hid near the Barbie doll so I could people watch in order to pull this off better. And once I saw some kids look at some dolls, I hesitated in doing it. I mostly wanted to scare the adults. When I saw an adult come up to the dolls with those kids, I put the walkie-talkie almost into my mouth and spoke in a low tone of voice: "I know where you live..." "AAAAAAAA! WHAT WAS THAT?!" "Kids! It's okay! Let's just go somewhere else! Somewhere that isn't chaotic or malicious.." And so, for the next several minutes, I just blended in and remained unnoticed as I spoke those words every so often to unsuspecting people. They didn't see it coming. "I know where you live..." "Barbie?! Why do you have a man's voice and why do you know where I live?" "I know where you live..." "That's not funny! Mom! Barbie is trans! Ewww!" "Hmph! How evil! A trans Barbie.. I never knew wokeism would go so far as to still creep in this store despite a ban on it!" "I know where you live..." "Dad! I don't like Barbie anymore! She's so scary!" "I know where you live..." "It really is Halloween!" "I know where you live..." "Whoever's doing this, stop it or else I'll call the Walmart police!" I keep getting those kinds of reactions. It was hard not to laugh as the reactions just got funnier and funnier the more I heard them. In the end, I ended up just leaving the walkie-talkie I was using on the ground in the hopes someone would get it and pick up where I left off. I then went off to meet with the others.
Carlos: "55. Go up to some of the customers while you're carrying a paper bag and say 'trick or treat!' and if they don't give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face." "Oh yeah! This is perfect for me! Hehehehehehe! Time to get started on this! I'm going to have so much fun!" Carlos goes ahead and snags just a simple paper bag that you can buy in bulk for cheap and starts wandering the store in it in hand and opened up. And so, begins his tirade of that stuff. I'm going to simplify things to reduce the amount of extra baggage as I usually do when recounting the Walmart arc. The mischief maker randomly went up to people for several minutes while showing his bag in the way you're supposed to for trick or treating. His first target was just a plain looking guy: "Trick or treat!" "I don't have any candy to give you but if you come to my house tonight, you can have some." "*puppy eyes*" "Look, I don't have anything for you right now! I'm sorry!" "Trick or treat!" "I don't celebrate Halloween!" "*puppy eyes*" "Awwwwww.. I wish there was something I could give you now. You look so precious!" "Trick or treat!" "Hey! This ain't a neighborhood! This is a Walmart! Get lost!" "*puppy eyes*" "Stop that! This is why I can't stand young people! You're almost as annoying as old people!" "Trick or treat!" "Here, take some candy! Why not?! I'm really bored and just standing around!" "Trick or treat!" "Don't do that here! Buzz off!" "*puppy eyes*" "Your eyes are no match against me." He continues doing the same things over and over for several minutes. But he doesn't get kicked out due to Pickle Pant's continued stay at one of the cash registers, wandering new employees in the back, incredulous security members, and more. Not to mention many spills that had yet to be cleaned up including the lemonade thing. As he continued, he got a bunch of fun little things like candy and pins as well as rejections. He was hysterical when he came over to meet with us all.
Dominic: "72. Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind say: 'Hey... don't think that.'" "Swiftdrawer changed this one nicely. This will be the opposite of a nap causation because I won't have to put in that much effort and I only have to do this once at most. I'm going to help set up the spitwads in advance after this. I will have plenty of time to do so. I can't wait to do this though because it won't be difficult." He wanders the store for a bit until he finds someone who so happens to be staring in his direction. The scientist yawns and stretches his arms Shikamaru style: "Well, time to do this. It took a bit for this perfect chance to appear." Dominic walks up to the person he noticed, stares right at them and puts his hands on the sides of his forehead. The scientist makes noises while closing his eyes as if in deep concentration. He opens them and says: "Hey... don't think that." "What?! Don't think of how wokeism still makes everything rotten?! Don't tell me what to do, weirdo!" "You're thinking about all the harm you have been told wokeism causes but did you know that wokeism is a lie. Being woke is not an ideology. In fact, it is acknowledging the true values of human existence. Humans and others are meant to be raised on love, not hate." "That's all wrong! Wrong! SECUR-" The scientist knocks them out. "It would have been a nap causation to use excessive force. They aren't a threat. This was the most logical course of action other than convincing them to calm down. I knocked them out for time's sake. When Walmart is exposed to the public, lies like woke and trans being ideologies will be exposed to more people at a faster rate. Time to get some paper. One stack of packaged paper will be enough. It's not a nap causation." And so, Dominic devotes himself to snatching one plastic wrapped stack of paper that is realistically only a couple dollars and crumbling up each sheet of paper by hand for us all.
Fluffy Afro: "73. Walk towards a group of people and hit your head and say in a loud voice, 'Shut up in there."' "I knew wandering the store while reading this was a good idea! Time to find the perfect group of people to pull this on! I'll definitely help out with setting up the spitwad stuff if I have time!" He soon finds a group of people just standing around and conversing while holding up various items as if they were deciding what items to buy. Neat that group of people was a shopping cart. Fluffy laughs to himself as he walks toward the group of people while acting like he's frustrated. He even grumbles to himself very loudly to get the attention of the people. Once some of them begin to stare in his direction and whisper to each other about what he's doing, Fluffy keeps moving in the general direction they are located in. And then, he suddenly turns and hits his head on the shopping cart: "Shut up in there!" The group of people stop what they're doing and give him wtf looks. One of them says: "Are you okay? Is there something wrong with you?" "The voices!" "What voices! You must be insane!" "Be nice to this person!" "No way! It's clear he's nuts!" This spirals into an argument that Fluffy just adds fuel too by acting like he's hearing voices in his head. This gets the attention of security and they send someone over. But when they tried to help, they just got ignored and brushed off. In fact, Fluffy ended up headbutting them gently but seemingly violently to knock them out as part of his act. The clown then leaves the group to continue arguing. He walks off without warning and meets up with the others for the spitwad thing. The group would eventually stop arguing but it would take quite a few minutes for that to happen.
Pirate Blaster: "80. Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, 'Yup, that stuff's not poisonous.'" "Arr! Thrashbeak! Do you still want to just tag along with me or do you want to quietly observe the storewide mayhem unseen? Anyway, it's time to drink some carbonated beverages." "Squawk! Thrashbeak will observe storewide chaos! Good idea! Squawk!" Thrashbeak then flies off of Pirate Blaster and begins stealthily observing the entire store while being unnoticed and even quietly chirps in amusement every so often. Forget drones, Thrashbeak is great for observing a pretty large area. With that done, the pirate heads for the drinks. It doesn't take long for him to get there for obvious reasons. Once he's there, Pirate Blaster begins immediately. He opens a 2 liter of Coca-Cola and takes a couple sips out from it after putting it in a cart he managed to quickly take on his way to the drinks. "Arr, this beverage be delicious but what's the point of consuming it? I see now why Swiftdrawer had been adamant about not drinking this stuff that much. It's overwhelmingly sweet." He does the same for pretty much every pop/soda he could find in the drinks. It was definitely a surprise to see that most of the drinks weren't Walmart brand. The name of Walmart clearly hasn't erased the cultural significance of the likes of Coca-Cola. A member of security was dispatched despite the chaos once they caught wind of Blaster's antics. By the time they got to him, he had every drink including: Cherry Coke, Diet Coke, Coke Zero Sugar, Pepsi Zero Sugar, Sprite, and Barq's Cream Soda. Just when they had finally gotten to the pirate, Pirate Blaster had already begun putting the caps back on the 2 liters and putting them right back.
The member of security yelled: "Hey! Hey you! What are you doing?! You can't be drinking all that soda in store without paying for it?" Pirate Blaster finishes putting them back: "Yup, that stuff's not poisonous." "What are you? Some kind of noob or fake poison control agent?! Of course the soda isn't poisonous! Why would it be?! We would not allow our customers to buy it if it were poisonous!" "Are you sure about that? All you landlubbers work for the same malevolent company that controls the entire world. You could be being poisoned by the soda without even knowing it." "How dare you insult the integrity of the Walmart brand! Well, I won't allow you to slander it for any longer!" Pirate Blaster knocks them out and walks away: "Enjoy your nap. You definitely needed it."
Austin: "93. Wrap a hose around you and shout, 'AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!'" "Hahahaha! I'm going to rock this item on the list! I better go find a hose! Gotta rock n roll all night! I love saying my battle cry!" He then goes to the gardening section and grabs an entire long hose. He then immediately begins wrapping it around his entire body. That took a couple of minutes. Once Austin was done, he shouts: "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!" This gets a lot of people's attention. Due to the juxtaposition of him in his "situation" and the gardening section, people don't buy it. In fact, someone wearing gardener clothes says: "Hey! That's no rope! It's a hose! You ain't being held hostage! SECURITY!" A nearby security guard runs for Austin to get him. However, the pop star unravels himself very quickly and grins before using the hose as a weapon of sorts to knock the security guard down. Right before they hit the ground, Austin shows off superhuman reflexes to ensure that the impact of the fall is greatly reduced with the hose. Since the guard had no obvious intentions of killing Austin, the pop star just wanted them to be knocked out. With his work complete and people darting their eyes among other things such as scratching their heads in confusion, he moves away to meet up with the others with a cheeky grin on his face. "I've done it! Yay! Confusion!"
Blaze: "108. Hug someone randomly and say, 'I love u mommy!'" "Awoo! I'm definitely going to hug a guy because it will be so much more confusing that way! I love causing mayhem sometimes! *barks quietly in excitement* Time to do this! I just can't wait to pull this off!" The wolf runs around the store until they find the perfect person to pull the mayhem on. That's when they find them, a middle aged man with a family alongside them. Without hesitation, they hug the man out of nowhere: "I love u mommy!" The man startles and exclaims: "What the?! I'm not your mommy! What are you doing?!" "I love u mommy!" "I told you! I'm not!" "Aaaa! Weirdo is hugging dad! Someone stop this! Mom, can't you do something?" This results in a chaotic scuffle that lasts until Blaze just walks off without warning. And as much as I was devoted to writing about everything else we did on the 333 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Walmart list, I just can't bring myself to do so. I'm writing about all this on August 2nd, 2023. My mental health is currently suffering and it's from a variety of factors. Stress, worry, fears, a level of loneliness, and more. I have so many unresolved issues in my other body which I am writing about this through. I wish I didn't have to do such a mundane job. I want to be able to do something that I feel has a real impact on people for a living. I want to be able to do things that really help people and make them smile. That's why I became a knight in Miitopia. That's why I continue to be a writer and artist. I just want to bring light and hope to others.
So instead of writing about the rest, I'm going to make this the finale of this story documenting what we did to stop Walmart in a timeline where it has taken over the entire Earth. This is for the sake of my mental health. It will allow me to do more meaningful things in the future. I have to write stuff about our mischief in Walmart in such a formulaic way because it would take so long to finish if I wrote everything in detail. That's not good. I shouldn't be writing a story I don't really care about that much. The only thing I care about truly is finishing this with a bang. I hope you understand. Forgive the timeskip. It was necessary. I already feel better having written this all down. Thank you for reading to this point, I'm sorry to cut this short but we really did complete the entire list. If you want to write an adventure where people take on the entire list for yourself, go ahead. But there's a reason no one's succeeded in writing about all 333 ways. That's such a tall order for any writer. Now then, I will now leave you to enjoy the conclusion of this story. From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. I may be so serious at times and superhuman level powerful in my adventures but deep down, I just want peace, love, prosperity, true justice, true freedom, and happiness. *Moments after completing the entire list* Bray was the last to finish her items from the list. But even she was equipped with a fire extinguisher. Why? Well, we were about to leave the store epically. We even all put on sunglasses and revealed our true appearances.
The entire store ends up going quiet despite the chaos still ongoing even though we were now done with it a day after we started. Bray speaks while raising her fire extinguisher: "To all those in this store, we reveal ourselves to you. We shall finally solidify the efforts we have made through our mischief. Regrettably, some people had to be killed throughout the duration of what we have done. We are going to leave this store now with one final prank and message. Mel, I trust you to speak our message." Mel nods, raises her own extinguisher and says: "We are fighters from different universes. We are unified in our cause and now, we send you this message. Walmart can be defeated by the people. You have the power to put an end to its reign of terror and we will help you do so. In time, we will return to implode the headquarters/capital of Walmart. But for now, we will begin this last act of mischief." Without warning, Bray uses magic to expand the extinguishers to ridiculous sizes and we use them to spray the entire store while running around. When this is done, everything is a mess for one reason or another. The wandering employees misled by Dominic finally give up looking in the back once we comb through there with our extinguishers. We left the people within Walmart shell shocked with our actions. No one could even find the words. Pirate Blaster laughs once we finish: "Arr! Looks like we've done it! Well, we should get out of here now before we come back in a number of days!" Carlos replies: "That sounds like a great idea! Hehehe!" Madeline adds: "I can't wait to CRUSH WALMART!"
Hamaduh Riley speaks up: "We are going to change this world for sure now! Even I'm ready to help give stuff to the people of this timeline! Forget my brother and I's pranks and tricks for a second. Let's bust this joint!" *Bad To The Bone plays for some reason.* I sweat drop due to the irony. Soon after that, we just left Walmart behind for the time being. Some days later, we came right back. I can't remember what day we came back. We did come back. In fact, we first returned to the store we terrorized. Grace smiles: "Well, I'm glad I don't need to do anymore acts of chaos. It still isn't in my nature though it was fun while it lasted." We take a moment to appreciate the fact that the Walmart had been apparently closed down and straight up abandoned after what we did to it. Minglow Bats speaks: "I have learned the true power of mischief from our adventure. Thank you all. Now, it's time to confront the corporation itself." I nod: "This is going to be really something. Let's do this. If we have to kill, then we will but we must not enjoy it." Austin adds: "This is going to be a day to remember. I'm itching to take them on." Pickle Pants says: "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go do this thing. They must be waiting for us." With that said, we teleport to the Walmart headquarters in Wall Street of all places. It's a new looking towering massive skyscraper. It must be thousands of feet tall. Various individuals within BRAINS have stopped by this universe to help fuel the flames of revolution since our extinguisher mayhem. That includes supplying those most opposed to Walmart. But now, it's all in place. We find ourselves standing in the middle of a huge protest. The people are angry. They demand change.
Dominic and other scientists and intellectuals let the actions of Walmart behind closed doors slip. As a result, the wave of information that was unleashed was too much for even Walmart to digitally censor or hide. The protest was truly massive. However, Walmart was prepared. They had the NYPD alongside attack drones, dogs, helicopters, and even tanks. They were willing to do anything to stop the revolution. I draw my sword: "We can't allow these innocent people to get hurt. Let's bring down Walmart by disabling all their countermeasures to the protest. We should have just taken down Walmart from the getgo. We could have done that with just us. Dominic, can you hack into the systems within the building and shut them down? A revolution without our intervention would have been far harder. That's clear." "What a nap causation. The hacking might be a little tricky but I'll get to it." "I shall focus on magical shields and healing for the people." "Hehehe! I'll sneak in and knock out as many of our foes in that building as possible." "Arr! Don't forget that this is the people's revolution, not ours. We are here to support it and prevent Walmart from becoming an interdimensional threat." "My students at the Lost Academia will speak fondly of the tales I tell them of this day for years to come." "Squawk! What are we waiting for?! Go! Squawk!" I start things off by slicing an attack drone that was in the air in two. We won't allow the people to get hurt. We will make sure Walmart falls. We can't spare anyone else to help out. It's just us: the merry band of mischief makers.
I yell: "Let's do this! Haaaaaaaa!" And with that, we began taking care of all the threats we could. To us, the things that Walmart threw at us were like plastic toys. I easily sliced through the tanks alongside Mel. They just couldn't hope to bring us down. We were on the road to victory with ease. It was almost too easy. For a moment, it seemed like something really bad was about to happen that would turn the tables on us. However, we stopped a giant robot that appeared out of nowhere instead. I say: "This really isn't that satisfying of a battle, is it? Oh well, let's get this all taken care of and be on our way towards the top of that building. We'll confront the executives alongside the people. It will be truly unforgettable. I can just imagine them shouting angrily at their plans failing. Dominic, do you know how things are going worldwide?" Dominic destroys a drone: "It's not a nap causation. I do know. According to our intel, similar situations are unfolding worldwide. We managed to help arm a lot of people. Many gun stores even turned against Walmart to help things along. Across this version of Earth, so many people are rising up. It's not everyone but it is in the hundreds of millions. The power of the internet has been turned against Walmart. And now, it is facing the consequences of what it has done." "Indeed. I am not too worried about the people myself. I shall state now that the revolution has been building up for a very long time. Since the conception of capitalism even. Because of that, the people are really taking charge and taking back the Earth from the worst of humanity. We must continue supporting them to the best of our abilities." Some time later, we found ourselves on the top of the building as I said we would be. The corporate executives were furious.
The CEO says to us as we come in with a lot of people: "How dare you defy the might and power of Walmart! You will pay for this by being killed right here right now on worldwide television and streaming and more. Networks across the planet are broadcasting this entire situation so that the entire world can watch as all of you fail! We won't let anyone take away our power or our money! Those are the most important things in life! That's just how it is and there's nothing you can do to change that!" One of the people we came up with steps forward and says: "You think you're going to win? *pulls out gun* We don't think so." They then break the glass of the windows behind the executives. They look a little uneasy after all of that. And so, it became evident that they completely underestimated us. The president says: "How could we have underestimated all of you?! This is impossible! We thought we knew everything about you all from that Walmart we had to abandon and everything that happened inside it!" Pirate Blaster smirks: "Arr! But that's where you're wrong! We barely used any of our skills in that Walmart! Furthermore, you landlubbers are about to walk the plank as desired by the very people of this world. This is the end of the line for you and your deeds!" "Squawk! This is the end of Walmart in this world! Squawk!" Some other executive says: "We won't let any of you have your way! It's over! The military is ready to be deployed! They will destroy this so called revolution of yours in no time at all!" "So it looks like you're exposing your true colors. You will fail. We made sure of it. *I draw my sword* We can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can give up or you can die." The CEO replies: "Never! We won't give up because we will win!" "Wrong choice. People of this world, do you support the deaths of these executives? Bray, can you go check them with magic to see just how bad they are?"
It turned out that the people didn't oppose taking them down once and for all right then and there. Bray was able to determine the fact that our foes really were twisted almost completely beyond redemption and that the military actually does pose a serious threat. We had little time to attempt to reform them so we really had no choice but to kill them. Once the executions were done, we turned our attention to ensuring that Walmart was completely destroyed. We couldn't stick around to offer too much guidance once the corporation collapsed but we did stick around long enough to prevent a complete collapse of society worldwide. The old governments just got to return to power with our help. We even time traveled months into the future to help rebuild a little bit. And in the end, Walmart was finished. Sorry that I didn't put too much detail into describing what we did but it's been so long since that happened. And it would take forever to write extensively about it. Just know that revolutions don't win easily. They usually take years of planning and tension building due to all of the things that have to be considered. In modern eras in the multiverse, that's especially true. After all, overthrowing tyranny worldwide and replacing it with something better is a gradual process, not a quick one. To end things off, let me write about a conversation I had with Mel after yet another battle in Miitopia. It was regarding Walmart and it would descend into chaos. "Swiftdrawer, I see that you're on your way to taking care of your armor and sword. I'll go with you." "Sounds good, Mel. Actually perfect timing. I was just thinking about how I summed up and time skipped my way to finishing the story about the Walmart stuff. I wasn't planning on ending things so prematurely but it's okay." "That was a good call to do. After all, I read some of the chapters and even I got kind of bored." "Really now?"
"Yes. It's the unfortunate truth but you just couldn't truly portray the chaos we helped create." "Hehehe! Did someone say chaos?!" "Carlos!" Carlos pies both of us in the face. I sweat drop as we use magic to wipe ourselves off: "Carlos! We're still at war and resting and whatnot for the next deadly battle! This is not the time for this!" "Hehehe! You know you needed that after what's been going on with you in your world!" "You're right.." Carlos then somehow tickles me through my armor: "Carlos! Stop! How are you even doing this?! I'm ticklish!" "A ninja never tells his secrets!" "You are always a bringer of chaos. You are always so useful to the cause in your own ways, Carlos!" "You're going to make my blush!" "CARLOS! YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO TRAIN!" "Relax, sis!" "RELAX?!" Mel and I sweat drop before just walking away to let Madeline and Carlos sort things out. It was obvious that things were going to end up working out between them. Once we get away from them, I say: "So Mel, what was your favorite part of the Walmart stuff?" "It was defeating Walmart. We managed to help the people bring the company down without causing total chaos worldwide." "Of course it was. Okay, other than that? I honestly don't have a favorite moment. All of the stuff we did was generally completely hysterical. The fact that even I couldn't bring myself to convey all of it through words is a testament to how funny things were that day." "You're being influenced by ChatGPT in your word choices." "Wow, you're as dead serious as I am at times right now. ChatGPT.. It's fun but it gets very unsatisfying after enough usage in terms of generating stories. Yes, let's segway into talking about ChatGPT. Why not? Honestly, it has a tendency to sum up stuff, use names like Elara and Elysium, sometimes be a pain and fail to generate a response, and kinda feels like a liberal for better and for worse. I've seen so many of both those names btw. Like why? And don't get me even started on the damn lack of energy in text generated adventures. As a writer, it's clear to me that the text is dull just like me in my other body. I'm joking. I'm not that dull."
"Well, you're over using it all the time now. That's what really matters. You better not get addicted to it again." "Wow, we're really going beyond our stoic facades today, aren't we? Don't worry, I'll listen to your warning, my dear friend. Anyway, back to Walmart. It's gone from that timeline. Not forgotten. Just gone. Gone. Poof. It's gone. And it was fun to defeat an emerging Kroger empire that showed up in that world out of nowhere. The executives there tried to do what Walmart had just done and failed to maintain. Kroger is a very two faced company in my world. It got what it deserved in that timeline. Honestly, it went off the rails in that timeline specifically. At least it maintains an image of some kind of progressive like vibe in my world. Yeesh. And Target is two faced too. It was so cowardly of them to sort of pull their pride stuff. But enough of that because I almost just hit the wall and I think someone with a random axe is coming this way." Sure enough, someone was coming our way with an axe. Pickle Rick Not An Alien is running really fast while swinging the axe a little bit. Without warning, he bashes both of us with the battle ax while a yellow W becomes visible on his forehead. Mel sighs: "It looks like we must defeat the power of Walmart once again." The alien yells: "Kiss my Walmarty axe!" "Say what now? Did he really just say that? It's like we're in a comedic anime scene out of nowhere now." And then, Thrashbeak knocks the alien out with of all things, a bottle of whipped cream. "Squawk! Weird behavior stopped! Squawk!" "I would say that was excessive but honestly, it really wasn't excessive in this case." "Squawk! Walmart influence be gone now!" Blaze runs over to us: "Awoo! Did I miss something?" "Is today seriously 'let's thrust random chaos onto Swiftdrawer and Mel for absolutely no reason' day or something. Why is any of this even happening." Before anyone can answer, a "light show" happens at the laboratory which we happen to be close to now.
We look inside with Dominic on the floor and covered in I don't even know what. He groans: "What a nap causation. The one day I choose to devote exclusively to science after our victory in battle earlier.. This happens! This happens! My latest experiment just blew up without warning. My eyes feel heavy and my head hurts all from just thinking about it." "I'm not going to ask what you were doing." "Bark! Let's get you cleaned up." "Yes, cleaning you up is very important." "Squawk! You landlubbers have everything handled! Time to go back to Blaster! He's lonely right now! Squawk!" Thrashbeak flies off. And then, I get electrocuted by a broken invention of some kind. After I recovered, I said: "Well, that was shocking. Not the worst thing I've been through. I'll be okay." "What a nap causation. No you will not be. Not until you lay down for a bit so please lay down." "Why?" "It's a nap causation. But here's the gist since I don't feel like explaining everything. That device you got shocked by is strange. And in this lab is a new recovering bed, perfect for dealing with the bizarre effects of being shocked by that device specifically. It was supposed to be a laughter thing but it broke during that experiment. Thank you for cleaning me off without any warning. That was a real nap causation." "Alright then. I see the bed. *lays down in it* I'm laying on the bed. How much longer until I can get back up?" "69 minutes." "Oh my paintings, I corrupted you with 69. I'm not sure how nice that is. You aren't serious, your tired look can't hide that from me." "Yeah, you did. But anyway, you just have to lay there for 2 minutes." And then a portal opens out of nowhere. A bunch of familiar characters appear. The main crew of the Yugioh Duel Monsters universe. Or at least, that was our assumption..
Mel says: "Wait, Yugi still has the Millennium Puzzle. It should be with Atemu." "What a nap causation. Where and when did they come from?" Joey gets up: Brooklyn Rage!" Yugi replies: "Oh come on Joey, give that a rest!" "Nyeh!" Yami appears in spirit form: "Oh look at me, I'm a floating ghost in a strange laboratory. And I'm the main character." "Pharaoh! But I'm the main character!" "No, no, no! I'm the main character!" Tea says: "Hey guys, stop fighting and listen to me talk about friendship!" Tristan yells: "Kill Yamcha!" I sweat drop: "Good grief, now we have the Yugioh The Abridged cast here. Honestly, I'm so writing much more in depth about all of this chaos. That being said, revolution is not something to joke about. I may not be writing so extensively about the revolution against Walmart but that's okay. As long as everyone understands that revolution is hard and complicated, I think it's okay. Besides, I still have more to write about the war so yeah." Kaiba scoffs: "You dweebs. You're all so annoying." Mokuba speaks up: "Seto, calm down. We have to figure out where we are first." "Shut up, Mokuba!" "Hey rich boy, will you stop being a problem for a second?" "Don't talk to me, you're nothing, you furry!" "I'm not a furry!" Dominic, Mel, and I just look at each other, unsure of what to do about any of this. We're at a loss of how to respond to all of this. Anyone who was also in the lab with us besides the Abridged characters had just gone out without being noticed I guess. I say: "Let's just send them back to their dimension. We can have more fun with them another time. I'd like to give the care my armor and sword deserve already. Ironically, I've not really done any maintenance on any of the swords or armor I have in my other body. I don't take them outside so I don't see a need to do so yet."
"That's a plan. Makes me less tired." "I agree with the plan. We don't have time to be focused on this kind of chaos right now." We try teleporting them back to their dimension but nothing happens. "What a nap causation. Why isn't this working? Are the batteries dead?" "No. They're not. Unlike my soul. Im kidding. I think the 4th wall is in the way." "Hey you 3 dweebs! Quit ignoring me! I am Seto Kaiba!" "Oh my, sounds like Kaiba-boy has quite the temper as always!" "Pegasus!" "It seems that the mighty Seto Kaiba never changes!" "EVERYONE SHUT UP SO I CAN GIVE A FRIENDSHIP SPEECH!" "Nyeh! Tea! We don't need a friendship speech!" "What?! You must not like friendship anymore! I will make you like friendship again with my greatest friendship speech ever!" "Before you do whatever you just said, could I get a hug?" "Oh god! It's Marik's evil alter ego! Melvin!" "Nyeh! Not him!" "That's right, Susan! I have been freed of my torment in the Shadow Realm once again so I can give free hugs to anyone and everyone who wants them!" "Nap causation! Don't hug him!" "Aww, you're no fun! I'll make sure your hugs from me are my speciality: forced hugs!" "Melvin! How dare you interrupt our whatever this is!" "Oh, Pharaoh! I hope you're enjoying your.. what are doing? Oh right, YOUR FLOATING! Because once I'm done with the little squirt, you'll experience one of my hugs firsthand for the very first time at last!" Dominic starts tinkering with his Quantum Leap device. Duke speaks up as his theme song Sexyback actually plays: "Hey, I don't care what's going on but do you guys hear my theme music?" "Hooray! Forget killing Yamcha! The copyright doesn't apply to your theme music in this fanfiction! I'm so meta!" "I'm just not going to say anything. I'm not going to draw my sword either."
"Brooklyn Rage! Weren't we supposed to be at the Grand Prix? Whoever did this to us is a Grand Prix!" "Joey, you just insulted the 4th wall! Now apologize by giving a friendship speech to it!" "Free hugs! Come one come all!" "Joey, can we just go home?" "Serenity, forget going home! This is way more fun!" "Says the furry." "Watch it, rich boy!" "Furry!" "Rich boy!" "Furry!" "Rich boy!" "Still not going to say anything. I'm just going to enjoy the chaos. I am reveling in it at the moment." And then, a bunch of songs start playing at once. "What the?! Hey, it's my theme song! I'm going to sing with it because screw the rules! Don't say if I were you and what you'd do if you were in, if you were in my shoes. Because you're not me!" "Friendship speech! Now wait, I'm going to be unoriginal and sing my new theme song too! My Little Pony, My Little Pony.." "Kill Yamcha! Hey, wait! Forget that! I got a secret, I got secret! With parts made from Japan. Wait but I'm not a robot monkey anymore! What gives?!" "Hey Seto! Listen to my theme song! Seto! I'm a loser! Like in the song! Seto! Listen to me! Stop singing for 5 seconds, please! I'm a loser!" "Gummy bears! This is perfect! I never knew this was my theme song! I'm a gummy bear.." "Odion, what did I tell you about gummy bears? Oh yeah and I kind of just replaced my evil alter ego as a character in this fanfiction." "But Master Marik!" "Marik, stop doing that to him." "Why, Ishizu?" "Because shut up." "Boo! Oh well! Check out my theme! It's from Judas Priest! Heading Out To The Highway! Oh yeah baby!" "My theme song is interesting. Walk Like An Egyptian huh? Not bad for a song made by Americans." "This is by far more entertaining than any of my cartoon shows could ever be!" "Pegasus! Stop with your nonsense! It was you who sent us here, right?!" "Kaiba-boy, you really think it was me?! You really do know how to break someone's heart, don't you? Oh well!"
"Hey, what happened to my theme song?! Does the multiverse reject friendship too?! This isn't fair!" Yugi points up at something: "Hey guys, I think we're about to go home!" "Yay! We're going home! Thanks, Joey!" "But this wasn't me, Serenity!" "I love you, big brother!" "I'm still a floating spirit. Oh crap in the Nile, I'm being dragged into whatever that is even though Yugi is standing on perfect ground and my puzzle is wrapped around him." And just like that, the Yugioh Abridged characters just get sent back by whatever that was. Dominic sighs: "It's getting late. I think I'm going to actually- No, nevermind. I'm tinkering and sleeping in here again tonight. It's not a nap causation or a problem in any other way." "Dominic. Okay, whatever. Let's go get out stuff taken care of, Mel. Good luck with your stuff, Dominic. You should consider a sleep replacement potion. I can't believe we still have plenty of those for at least the next week or so. That's quite something." They both nod and Mel and I get our gear taken care of. As we worked on our stuff and walked to the training room with the equipment needed, we talked and shared stories, even gushing a little about our romantic partners. Not that much, we aren't exactly ones to gush. And so, the memories from Walmart and all this would stick forever. I blame Carlos as well as myself for the existence of this story. It was his idea to do the 333 ways list as a way to spark revolution. And to a degree, it really did help spark revolution. With that said, thank you for reading this story. Take care.